Is there such a thing as being 'ready' to lose weight?

jennalor

Hey everyone! If you have any insights or can relate I would appreciate the input, I'm getting nowhere fast.

I've been struggling with my weight loss. ( Don't worry, this isn't one of those " I don''t really track my food intake and I'm not losing weight, why?" threads)

I know I"m not putting 100%, I do exercise pretty regularly. And I know what I have to do, I have all the calculations done. I have a decent food log built up, so this should be easy peasy.

I've heard people say they just weren't 'ready' to lose weight yet. I'm not sure what this means. I hate the way I am, I'm afraid I"ll get bigger. Each day I start with the best of intentions and somewhere along the way I decide that eating X food is more important than my health goals and start over again the next day.

I'm afraid of waiting until I'm 'ready', what if I"m not ever ready? What if I gain 50lbs between now and then. The whole notion of 'a year from now you'll wish you started today'. Is it just a simple decision and not wavering, or is it a light bulb moment and you just get it? I know better so why am I struggling to do better?


P.S just some info about me and my goals, I'm 5'8, 225lb 39 yr old female, looking to lose about 60 lbs, I lost 25 last year. My calorie goal currently is set to 1800 daily - macros of 40% protein, 35% carb and 25% fat. ( not that I have been tracking or successfully eating this way, but thats what I should being aiming for ) I exercise 2-3 times a week depending on my shift schedule - mostly weight lifting, some cardio.

( forgive me if any of this sounds whiney, not my intention, just very frustrated with myself ):flowerforyou:

BigT555

being "ready" for it is just a way of saying having the motivation and knowledge to do so.

i wanted to lose weight since i became overweight, but i didnt have the drive to follow through, and when i did i didnt have the knowledge about diet to make it possible. motivation is everything in this, and its so easy to lose motivation sometimes it needs to be something that you can hold onto for a long long time, which alot of people dont have

as a side note, giving it 100% isnt absolutely necessary, in fact that can lead to failure in itself. pushing yourself too hard in this wont make it sustainable, you need to make slow changes that will stick with you for the rest of your life, after all you dont want to drop that weight and end up putting it all back on once you reach your goal because you thought you were done with improving your health

seltzermint555

I agree with the poster who said it's a matter of having both knowledge and motivation.

For me there was an emotional state I had to reach in order to push past what I felt was "good enough" to something better. There were elements of denial, rebelliousness, and to be honest - even self-acceptance - that kept me heavier. Meeting my husband and seeing his common sense approach to fitness and nutrition helped me to be more optimistic about this stuff.

Starting My Fitness Pal for me was like a challenge. "Let's see if this website really works, if there's anything valid to the calorie counting approach". And when I do something, I tend to go all in and do it. Either that or just quit right away. I've been very dedicated and the weight loss (from 262 lb late last March to 183 lb this morning) followed fairly easily.

jennalor

I do read a lot, I've spent an enormous amount of time on the forums reading up on a whole bunch of things. I'm grateful for this site and its posters because I've learned a lot ( not to mention highly entertained )

Motivation is definitely a problem for me, I'm not sure if some of it comes from being tired a lot because of night shifts, or if I'm just lazy lol, probably a combination of both.

Thank you for the replies!

wendyg311

Ha! I could have written this post. I too have all the tools I need. Been fartin' around on MFP for 6 months. But when it comes right down to taking physical action, whether eating right or actual physical activity, I do nothing. I think of how I could have been down X pounds by now and have wasted this time. I put what I want now, ahead of what I need to be doing for my overall health. I'm waiting for that light bulb moment while I torture myself every day with what I'm not doing.

Veil5577

You have to make "tomorrow" today.

That was my problem, Oh, I'll start tomorrow, Oh, I'll start it Monday. This went on and on until I realized that if I really, really wanted to do this, I'd start RIGHT NOW.

You have to want this. Anything in life worth having is not easily gained. You have to accept that it's a lifestyle change, not a temporary diet, and you have to make up your mind that you're going to do it. It's the same as quitting smoking.. if you really want to do it, you'll do whatever it takes to do it, and you will be ready when you want it bad enough.

becky10rp

For me, it's a three part thing: Motivation, dedication, and education

Motivation - the 'get started' mode, get this way of living going - AND - it's an every-day thing - the choices you make when you eat, and your decision to exercise (or not)

Dedication - to do this - I mean, REALLY do this every day. This is a life-change - it's not 'doing it till my sister gets married' - if you have that attitude - this will be only temporary

Education - to look at your day when you're done logging and see what you're eating - what you have to change - what you have to tweak; to realize you are in control of your health and your body

Zara11

any chance there's someone IRL (family member, friend, coworker) who would be game to join you in losing weight? If there's someone you see every day/every week, that could help you get over the initial hurdle of getting into the right mindset.

1saturn

Don't think about 'readiness', just start. It doesn't cross my mind whether or not I am ready to lose weight but whether or not I need to.

KarenB927

Yes, there is such a thing. I have been using MFP for a while now and have reached my weight loss goal. My husband has been "wanting" to lose weight for a while now. Actually it was more like wishing. He kept saying "I wish I could lose weight" while shoveling the Chex Mix Trail Mix into his face by the bagful. An don't get me started on the ice cream bars. Yes, he was buying Weight Watchers ice cream bars, but when you eat 3 in one night, it sort of defeats the purpose. I kept telling him that when he was serious, to let me know. He finally came to his senses and asked me to help him. I created a MFP account for him, I changed his whole eating habits and am happy to say he's lost over 17 lbs in 5 weeks. His weigh-ins are Thursdays because that's the day of the week he started. He's actually starting to think about what he eats and making better choices. And in 5 weeks he hasn't had a single bag of Chex Mix.

dopeysmelly

I agree about the readiness thing. Like the previous posters, a matter of education, motivation and dedication. I knew how to do it (hell, I lost the weight right before I got pregnant so it wasn't like I didn't know how), but I needed the mental focus and time to actually implement it. I started when I felt well-rested (your comment about not being tired is important), when work wasn't crazy and when DH was away on business for 3 weeks.

Also, for me it was a matter of not blaming myself or feeling negative about myself. It's been purely about the numbers (weight, body fat, waist measurement, calories, protein, fiber), not emotions or even clothes size or appearance. Essentially completely unemotional, and, as a result, startlingly easy.

That whole "start today!" works really well for some people, and hats off to you, but it doesn't work for me. Everyone's different, I guess.

thavoice

I think so.

That time usually is when a person stops using excuses and just does it. WHen a person stops using excuses, starts making time for exercise, and starts holding themselves accountable for how much they eat then THAT is when they are ready to lose weight.

Those people who say they dont have time, $$, too busy, too difficult, cannot stop eating, etc...they arent truly ready.

When you stop the excuses and JUST DO IT is when you are ready.

SezxyStef

I think so...

I was ready this time...after yo yoing for almost 20 years...

I won't say I started with a bang I didn't...

I started like I did every other time...with a "diet" then increased exercise...then found MFP and remembered back in my late teens I lost weight counting calories and kept it off...for a long time.

I wouldn't have found MFP if I hadn't been ready...I wouldn't have been googling results from 30 day shred...I wouldn't have even considered doing that...

And in hindsight I know I was ready because not once have I ever considered "giving up" or not giving it "110%"...

Even now that I am at maitenance I don't think about "not logging"...I just do it because I know if I don't the weight will creep back on and I personally am not will I ever be ready for that again.

DeeVanderbles

I could've written this, too. I know what I should be doing and make plans I guess I just lack the motivation to actually stick with it. It's not that I'm not ready, it's that I need to consciously work harder and better at sticking to the plans I create. Does my not sticking with it mean I don't want it bad enough? I don't think so. I think it means that I have a lot of work to do to get where I want to go, but we'll get there as long as we keep moving forward.

Feel free to add me!

levitateme

I have lost 30-40 lbs about 6 times since I was 19. This time, I feel more ready than ever to make this the last time, if that makes sense.

But to answer the actual question, yes, you need to be mentally ready to do this. If you're not then you're going to eventually fail. Not to be a negative nelly, just being realistic.

Kali1901

Very good question.

I have been struggling with this for over a year now. My impulse is to say that , yes, it happens when you know you are ready, which then raises the question, "What does that mean?"!

In my case, I know, and have known all this time, what needs to be done. I know how to do it. I have done the research and tested many methods and theories throughout my life. I have learned that, for myself, I need eat well and be active. I need to have a solid and realistic plan that I am willing to participate in that interests me. I know that, for my efforts to be effective and long term, I need to track what I am eating and my activities on this plan and that information will show me what I am doing that is working for me and what isn't so much. I need to be kind to myself and willing to adjust "the plan" for the unforeseen and to accommodate life changes and special events. I look at it as the process of healthier living. This is what works for me.

But I haven't been doing the things that need to be done even though I know I can do it, that I will feel awesome when I do it and that I know exactly what it is I need to do. I have made less than half-hearted attempts and have thought about how I "should" be doing it and all the reasons why now isn't good (as I ate way too much food and sat on the couch) and how I will get it going tomorrow and frankly, I made myself miserable in the process. I think I just decided ENOUGH ALREADY! and took action. And maybe that is what knowing you're ready really means...deciding to just get on with things and doing it.

Not sure that helps you at all.

Good luck and best to you in your endeavors!!

fpelletier

I think so, I was in my mind "ready" to lose weight years ago and always said something about every month, but I did NOT have the motivation to do so. I wanted to but was not educated on how to do it. Last yr in May I decided I was ready & motivated, saw pictures of myself and wanted to cry. My mom almost died a couple years ago from a stroke, now in a nursing home, my little one had 2 major surgeries when she was 6 weeks and 19 months old and I was on a fast track to comfort food all.the.time. Life was stressful and I was unhappy.

In May of last year I reached out to my friends and asked what I should do, where I should start? etc. One of them so graciously mentioned my fitness pal. I googled it and found apparently several years ago I had created an account, so I must have been "ready" but I obviously wasn't as I never logged a single thing. I did not even know what MFP was about.

The day that I relogged on, I read up on how to input my foods, count calories, really create my profile and I came to these boards. I read through so many of them, learned a lot, saw lots of success stories and thought to myself, I CAN do this. I haven't looked back. One year later and almost 70lbs down, I am close to losing half my weight loss goal. I still have a long ways to go but I am determined to get there.

You just need to be committed to creating and living a healthy lifestyle. I did not give up any foods forever, I did quit soda & sweet tea the first 6 months or so because I needed to and was wasting tons of calories, but now I drink primarily water and have an occasional sweet tea or soda here and there, but only when my calories allow!

sashafischang

I agree and think there is such a thing as being 'ready' to lose weight. I feel that being 'ready' is when you decide your WHYs are important enough to lose the weight. I recommend writing down your whys (reasons you want to lose weight). For me, the whys were enough to get me to realize that I was ready to lose weight.

jennalor

Thank you everyone for your replies, you have given me much to think about and act on. Glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I think for now I'll focus on the short term, what can I do today and stop giving myself permission to give in. I know it won't always be easy.

I have talked myself out of dieting often telling myself I'll start tomorrow. Looking back it seems so silly to give up my progress for a binge. I know moderation is possible, but I think its going to take some trial and error to strike a balance.

debwender

I don't know if this will help you, but I have recently acknowledged that I keep "failing" at losing weight because I am terrified I will just gain the weight back again. Just like I have my entire adult life. I have tried every diet, done doctor monitored liquid protein fast, even gastric bypass surgery. I do great at first every time, but eventually I slide and go back to compulsive eating. Since my gastric bypass surgery about six years ago I have gained back 50 of the 80 pounds I lost. basically I just don't believe I can be successful at weight lost. I turn 60 years old the end of June and I feel like I'm just not up to it any more.

TechNerd42

Someone recently asked what the turning point was for me. My response (which I'm fairly certain I stole from someone else, but can't recall exactly.):

I was ready when being fat was more of a bother than the effort required to count calories and eat reasonable portions of food."

Before that moment, I was not ready, and it showed as I hit my highest non-pregnant weight ever (I think my highest was 293 when I was pregnant with my daughter. Enough was enough when I was 10 pounds below that and *not* pregnant.

Everyone has their tipping point. I think it helps me to know that I will likely be counting calories more often than not, for the rest of my life. Period. I will always own (and use) a digital food scale. I can't even guess how many Excel versions I will go through with the spreadsheet I use to calculate serving sizes for food I cook. But as much of a bother as all of that is to me, I accept them as truths because being fat is more of a bother.

Good luck.

madisonsmith1297

Whats truly strange about this topic is that for me personally I had to stop hating myself for the process to really begin. I had to know that I deserved better health before I could really make any sort of long term effort. Prior to that I would have maybe three or four good days, then I wouldn't care after that. It was an endless cycle, that only love for myself could break.

kirili3

The self-hatred point the poster above made is true for me too.

These days, I listen to Regrets by Mark Fry. That usually gets me going. Weight loss isn't a huge thing, it's a small but important thing that takes time and good habits. It's better to do something small towards it every day than to let the days go by because we don't get them back. Just a small thing like accurately logging calories, even if you over eat, is the start of a good habit. Then things like exercising how and when you can, finding fun ways to do it. Then finding meals that are low in calories that you actually like. I never used to get pizza, now I can have one daily if I want with a tortilla, a good pasta sauce, some finely grated cheese, and it comes in at less than 200 kcal. I've also discovered a love for broccoli.

I actually eat more food I like now, and try to fit it into my calorie goals, and then exercise for more! I slip up a lot but that old cliche about trying and trying again is very true.

If not doing anything about it is not making you happy, why not do something, even small?

I've logged calories of over 4000. I wasn't proud but somehow just logging those calories and keeping up that habit helped.

kirili3

I don't know if this will help you, but I have recently acknowledged that I keep "failing" at losing weight because I am terrified I will just gain the weight back again. Just like I have my entire adult life. I have tried every diet, done doctor monitored liquid protein fast, even gastric bypass surgery. I do great at first every time, but eventually I slide and go back to compulsive eating. Since my gastric bypass surgery about six years ago I have gained back 50 of the 80 pounds I lost. basically I just don't believe I can be successful at weight lost. I turn 60 years old the end of June and I feel like I'm just not up to it any more.

You can definitely do it! The success stories on MFP are a great inspiration. The great thing about calorie counting is that you don't have to deprive yourself of particular foods, just be creative with how you make stuff.

SteampunkSongbird

I personally believe there is such a thing as being ready. For years I've hated my body, hated my face and generally self-loathed a monumental amount. I've whined about wanting to lose weight, wanting to tone up my flabby bits, wanting to eat better, trying to start various diets and quitting them after 6 months or less, wanting to make more of an effort, but I never got off my *kitten* and actually seriously did anything about it, I just pined for the look I wanted and stuffed my face on chocolate cookies (I comfort eat a lot, my mental health has always been shaky.) It's definitely not an age-specific thing for everyone but something clicked in me when I turned 28 this year. I was sick of moaning about being fat and ugly, and for the first time, I went looking for proper help (found MFP) and have been logging daily and trying to combat my sugar cravings, which admittedly I haven't mastered yet, but I am trying harder now than ever before and I feel like this time I'll do it, because I am 100% ready. I've now lost weight for the first time, I've increased my activity, and I know now that I wasn't ready before, my heart wasn't in it, no matter how much I may have wanted it.

47Jacqueline

As a rule, I think there's a point at which I was ready to lose weight. It was at the point that I was tired of feeling bad about myself. I didn't have a lot to lose, but it was enough for me to say it's time.It took me almost a year to lose 27 pounds and now I'm on maintenance, but considering three more pounds of loss.

Bumblebee3441

bump

Francl27

For me, absolutely. I knew for years that I should lose weight, but I knew also from experience that half-assed diets just don't work long term, and that if I wanted to lose weight, I had to be ready to make a lifetime commitment. So I didn't do anything about it.

After the scale tipped over at 213, after I maintained around 200 for years, I started paying more attention to online friends losing weight. That's when I heard about myfitnesspal and counting calories. It still took me a few months to be ready to do it (and it happened after I ate horribly during the Holidays and actually made myself sick of food).

IMO You HAVE to be committed, or you'll lose a few pounds and just yoyo diet forever. The reason it's a lifestyle change is that pretty much what you eat when you start is what you'll maintain on later (with maybe 200 extra calories). There's no going back to your old eating habits ever. You have to understand that and be willing to do it when you start, or you're setting yourself for failure.

jennalor

Thanks again everyone. I have definitely been lacking in my level of commitment, I've been losing and finding the same 5 pounds for a few months now.

I think its interesting that there have been thoughts from both sides of it, the readiness factor, and the just do it side.

For now I think I'm going to focus on what choices I can do today to be successful. Weight loss isn't complicated but the level of commitment it requires can be challenging. Which is not to say every day must be perfect, but ideally every is a little better than the last one.

Cheers!:drinker:

paulawatkins1974

I actually talked/thought about it, and did research about different programs for ablout 6 months before I found MFP (Which isn't one of the "programs") I just stumbled across it, and decided to check it out. I didn't give it my all at first, and didn't even start walking until a couple of months in. I'm now considering lifting and am wondering when I'll consider myself "ready" for that. (I know just do it already) The fact that you're on here is a start. Start small. You have to Eat the whole elephant one bite at a time. And if you mess up a day, start over. Don't just quit,