Battling My Way Back to Life

I'm new here. Today is my second day of dieting and exercise. To begin, let me tell you a little bit about myself. From the time I was 13, I was a large chested girl. God decided to grace me with a chest that was just too large for my frame. I moved through my teen years perfectly comfortable with my size, but uncomfortable with my chest size.

At 19, I gave birth to my first child, a girl. At 5'1", my weight gain was minimal but my chest gain was tremendous. 11 months later, I gave birth to my second child, another girl. My weight gain didn't seem horrible, but that's because I made excuses. I was wearing size 9 jeans just before I got pregnant. After I had my daughter, my jean size ranged from 11 - 13. I figured it was no big deal. I went on to have 2 more children, a third girl and finally, a boy.

After my son was born, I realized my weight gain was on the unhealthy side. My weight reached 172. I decided I needed to do something about it. During the first week of my diet in August, 2006, tragedy struck. My second born daughter died in a terrible accident at the age of 3. I ate my way through depression and sadness. I became sedentary. I literally wrapped myself up in depression and the weight started adding up.

The relationship between the children's father and I began to fall apart about a year later and steadily climbed down hill. I ignored what was going on around me and continued to eat, gradually increasing my intake of unhealthy foods. It all seemed easier to just hide and eat, eat and hide.

In 2012, my relationship with my children's father finally broke. We decided that it was better to be friends (and we are best friends!!) I decided that I needed to change my image and feel better about me, which started with weight loss. At 194 lbs., I knew what I had to do.

I stopped drinking soda and sugary foods. I started eating lean meats, fruits and veggies. I also began walking. At first, I felt winded after walking a block. Eventually, I was able to walk a half mile, and finally, a mile. I felt good! It worked out well for approximately 3 weeks. I thought, "This is it! I'm going to succeed!"

Then pain struck. I had a lot of pain in my lower regions and severe bleeding. I headed off to the doctor for a checkup. That's when the doctor told me, "You have cervical cancer." The news was devastating. Activity pained me so once again, my dieting came to a halt. Luckily, I have an amazing boyfriend who assisted me through all of it. He helped out with my 3 kiddos and tried to keep meals as healthy as possible despite the fact that my activity was so low.

A lot of my time was spent on bed rest because of the pain and bleeding. Surgery eventually removed ALL of the cancer without the need for a hysterectomy (yay!) Now that I am healed up from my surgery and cancer free, I am looking to get back on the horse and finally complete my weight loss goals.

So here is me, currently. I am 5'1", 31-years-old and 206 lbs. My jean size is 15. I have no idea what my measurements are because I have no way to take any measurements. I know that I want to get down to 120 lbs. and I am absolutely determined to reach that weight.

I pushed myself to walk a mile last night and it felt good. I plan on doing the same thing again today. I woke myself up early and ate a healthy breakfast (no sugary cereals or other similar junk foods!) I ate a hard boiled egg, part of an avocado, a half of a grapefruit and 9-grain whole wheat toast (no butter or anything). I added a glass of water to wash it all down.

I know deep down that I can do this, it's just a matter of pushing myself. I know how important motivation is, as well. That's why I'm here, introducing myself. I've looked through some of the posts, seen some of the pictures and I am humbled, awed and inspired. I hope to accomplish my goals just as so many of you have or are looking to do.

Weight loss is a big must for me. I find myself constantly tired and lacking energy. My hips hurt because of the extra weight I am carrying around. My doctor diagnosed me to sleep apnea related to all of the extra weight I am carrying around. I owe it to myself and my children to lose the weight and become a healthy mama.

As an added benefit, my boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage. I would love to lose weight by the time that comes around. :) So here's to battling my way back to life.


  • chenderson132321
    I stuck to my diet today. I'm very proud of myself. I drank my water and ate healthy, organic foods like I'd planned. I kept my calorie count where it was supposed to be, so I'm pretty proud of that, too. I can't wait to head out on my mile long walk this evening.

    Eating healthier made me feel energetic. I normally lack energy. I never knew how much unhealthy foods contributed to my lack of energy!! I feel great!! I can't wait to see how I feel in the upcoming weeks as I continue to eat healthy and lose weight. :)

    *Feeling determined*
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
    Welcome. What a roller-coaster of life you have been thru. I can't imagine losing one of my children. But you sound like you have an inner strength like no other, to have gone thru what you have. Keep up the great attitude and determination to take back your health. Your children will thank you for it.

    Read thru the forums and find some women around your age that you can add to your friend list for support and encouragement.
    It will take consistency and patience, but you can do this! :flowerforyou:
  • MonaLisaLianne
    MonaLisaLianne Posts: 385 Member
    From your post, I sense that you have the heart for success. You've made a good beginning, and with following the mfp plan, and friends I have every reason to thin you will succeed! Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • Reyangi
    Reyangi Posts: 18 Member
    You are a strong woman. I'm so sorry for your loss. No one should have to lose a child but unfortunately it happens too often. And to be diagnosed with cancer on top of that... I can't even imagine how I'd ever get through it. But you did and you should be proud. You have a second chance at life and I know you'll succeed at whatever you put your mind to. I wish you all the best. Just stay determined and your scale will be flashing 120 before you know it.
  • marvinq42
    marvinq42 Posts: 31 Member
    This is one of the MOST supportive sites I've ever been a part of. Keep going towards your goal and don't quit.
  • Folmarv
    Folmarv Posts: 16 Member

    You've been through a lot! I know you'll succeed as long as you drive yourself towards your goal. Don't ever give up and take control of your life!
  • Emedina1987
    You can so do this :) you have been through so much and my heart breaks for you. You will feel so much better as you reah your goals. Start small and work your way up. Start with your diet, then add more exercise and you build endurance. I have two children so I can only imagine what you've been through. My youngest is 4 months old. I am done having children and I am wanting to get my body back as well. If you need any extra motivation feel free to add me. I wish you the very best of luck in reaching your goals. Like someone else said, there is tons of support on this site. Everyone here basically wants the same thing. To feel good about themselves and live healthy/active lives :)
  • JennyHollyHansen
    You can do this. I believe in you! I am 5'0 and being short comes with its own disadvantages. But I think you will overcome again.
  • Evilloch0610
    Hi I am starting my road to weight loss as well. I am going in for the gastric sleeve in a little over two weeks. I am 5' 7" and 270 lbs. I admire you and am happy to support you if you need any words of encouragement. I think if you have the strength to be a mom, you can just about tackle anything! Good Luck to you and I hope to see your progress for your special day...I wish you all the good vibes in the world! :))
  • chenderson132321
    Thanks for all of the encouragement everyone! It's a little hard for me to login and post everyday, but I've made myself a promise that I would login at least 2 times a week. I'm still sticking with it by eating healthy and walking every evening.

    I have avoided sodas, candy, potatoes, pastas, etc. I thought I would feel really icky by now, but it's been quite the opposite! I feel great! I actually FEEL healthier. I feel like I have enough energy to last me throughout the day. I love it. I also like I have more mental focus. I've been enjoying the heck out of the fruits, veggies and lean meats. I don't even feel like I am cheating myself out of anything. It's great!

    I did have a question for everyone. How often do you suggest I weigh myself? I've heard it's not a good idea to check daily. Should I weigh myself once a week? If that's the case, I weigh myself in another 2 days.

    I know I can't expect to see progress right away, but I'm looking forward to those times when I will eventually see progress. :)