"Single and Loving It"
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ellelit
Posts: 806 Member
Hello, this is an article that i wrote which appeared in the April 3rd issue of the Malaspina Navigator. i thought you guys might get a kick out of it.
Single and Loving It:
So I walked into work on Monday, beaming from the fabulous weekend I had just experienced. I was ready for the usual water cooler chit-chat about the weekend.
"So, how was your weekend?"
"Oh, it was amazing!"
"What did you get up to?"
"I went down to Victoria, got a suite at this amazing hotel over-looking the harbour..."
"Oooh how romantic," she gushed.
"Then I got myself all dressed up, with makeup, a trip to the salon and even put on a dress. I went for dinner at this amazing, trendy restaurant downtown and treated myself to 2 glasses of champagne, chipotle crab cakes, succulent lobster with charbroiled tenderloin and a chocolate mousse to finish it off."
"Wow that sounds amazing, you're so lucky."
"After dinner, I went to the opera. The venue was filled to capacity, but I had no trouble finding a great seat. It was wonderful, awe inspiring... I went back to the hotel and drew a hot bath in the Jacuzzi, soaking for what seemed like hours. I went to bed, sinking into the soft down pillows and luxurious duvet.”
“How romantic!”
“In the in the morning I had brunch in the breathtaking dining room, with floor to ceiling glass, and watched the boats take their first sail of the day. All in all it was a great weekend."
"It sure sounds like it. So... who's the lucky man?"
"Man?"
"Well, the one who swept you off your feet for the weekend... details, gimme details!”
"There was no man..."
"A woman! Oh Lindsay, I had no idea!"
"No... There was no woman either. I went by myself."
"By yourself?"
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Alone."
"Alone-alone?"
Now, after about ten minutes of her standing there, incredulous at the fact that I partook in all of these activities alone, she finally asked me the question I knew she was dying to ask.
"Wasn't it lonely?"
"Nope, it was great."
Being one of millions of nice, single women in their 30's the idea of actually enjoying being single is somewhat foreign to an outsider. This is especially true of other thirty-something women who are decidedly unhappy being single and who would never be caught dead engaging in any activity solo.
I have been in many relationships. Some of them worked, for a short period, while many of them did not. But I refuse to wallow in self pity, like the Bridget Jones’s of the world who truly believe they will "die sad and alone, found two weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs."
I am part of a growing number of women who would rather enjoy their lives alone than being in an all-consuming claustrophobic relationship where they lose, not only their identity, but their self respect. In my eyes, there is a new movement sweeping across North America, of women who are faced with the possibility of being alone for the long term. From my perspective, being single has a myriad of benefits.
Going to the movies alone on a Wednesday afternoon is thoroughly enjoyable. You get your own private viewing with no kids banging the backs of your seat, no one tall in front of you blocking your view, and the freedom to laugh or cry at will without any inhibitions. I even keep a movie journal, and take myself out for coffee afterwards to "discuss" the finer details of the film.
When I want to try the new trendy restaurant downtown, even spur of the moment, I can walk right in, without a reservation and enjoy dinner with my shadow. You actually get a chance to enjoy your food, savour every bite, and even order 2 desserts if you want to. The big bonus here is you don’t have to watch your partner pick through his truffled mashed potatoes, lamenting that he has a full bag of Doritos at home; you can also enjoy your dinner without his dazzling performance of "see food" on display.
If I want to spend 6 hours in a museum, admiring Cubist works of art, I can. I can take my time and I don’t have to explain "why THAT is art" and listen endlessly about how a child could have painted it.
There are no in- laws, no fighting over the remote control, and the absolutely most important, when you put something somewhere, it doesn't mysteriously disappear. I had a $25 pair of Tweezerman tweezers that disappeared and then magically reappeared in the bathroom drawer. Covered in scuzz. When I questioned my boyfriend about what had happened to them, he replied simply: "hair ball in the shower drain".
You have control over your own time and your own finances. You can save for retirement at will and not have your partner look at you with the quizzical look on his face saying, "but we've got 35 years! Why ruin our life now saving so we can have fun when we're too old to enjoy it?" Because we’re responsible adults, that’s why.
Now from the outsider perspective, the happily single life may seem lonely, and for want of a better term, horny. Well, women in their early thirties are known to be quite frisky, but it's not impossible to survive – just add a little self love now and then. Being single is probably the best sex I’ve ever had. No bad breath, no smelly underarms, no racing stripes in his underwear that you rip off in the heat of passion, no hairy backs, no one minute man, no four-hour man, no *kitten*, no angry pirates, no falling asleep halfway through, no falling asleep right after, no screaming out the wrong name, no faked orgasms and no broken beds. Nope, just zero to sixty in 30 seconds flat.
So single women of the world, unite. When your parents ask you if there's a special man in your life, just do what I do: smile and with conviction say "nope". Or better yet, go add another cat to your collection.
Single and Loving It:
So I walked into work on Monday, beaming from the fabulous weekend I had just experienced. I was ready for the usual water cooler chit-chat about the weekend.
"So, how was your weekend?"
"Oh, it was amazing!"
"What did you get up to?"
"I went down to Victoria, got a suite at this amazing hotel over-looking the harbour..."
"Oooh how romantic," she gushed.
"Then I got myself all dressed up, with makeup, a trip to the salon and even put on a dress. I went for dinner at this amazing, trendy restaurant downtown and treated myself to 2 glasses of champagne, chipotle crab cakes, succulent lobster with charbroiled tenderloin and a chocolate mousse to finish it off."
"Wow that sounds amazing, you're so lucky."
"After dinner, I went to the opera. The venue was filled to capacity, but I had no trouble finding a great seat. It was wonderful, awe inspiring... I went back to the hotel and drew a hot bath in the Jacuzzi, soaking for what seemed like hours. I went to bed, sinking into the soft down pillows and luxurious duvet.”
“How romantic!”
“In the in the morning I had brunch in the breathtaking dining room, with floor to ceiling glass, and watched the boats take their first sail of the day. All in all it was a great weekend."
"It sure sounds like it. So... who's the lucky man?"
"Man?"
"Well, the one who swept you off your feet for the weekend... details, gimme details!”
"There was no man..."
"A woman! Oh Lindsay, I had no idea!"
"No... There was no woman either. I went by myself."
"By yourself?"
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Alone."
"Alone-alone?"
Now, after about ten minutes of her standing there, incredulous at the fact that I partook in all of these activities alone, she finally asked me the question I knew she was dying to ask.
"Wasn't it lonely?"
"Nope, it was great."
Being one of millions of nice, single women in their 30's the idea of actually enjoying being single is somewhat foreign to an outsider. This is especially true of other thirty-something women who are decidedly unhappy being single and who would never be caught dead engaging in any activity solo.
I have been in many relationships. Some of them worked, for a short period, while many of them did not. But I refuse to wallow in self pity, like the Bridget Jones’s of the world who truly believe they will "die sad and alone, found two weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs."
I am part of a growing number of women who would rather enjoy their lives alone than being in an all-consuming claustrophobic relationship where they lose, not only their identity, but their self respect. In my eyes, there is a new movement sweeping across North America, of women who are faced with the possibility of being alone for the long term. From my perspective, being single has a myriad of benefits.
Going to the movies alone on a Wednesday afternoon is thoroughly enjoyable. You get your own private viewing with no kids banging the backs of your seat, no one tall in front of you blocking your view, and the freedom to laugh or cry at will without any inhibitions. I even keep a movie journal, and take myself out for coffee afterwards to "discuss" the finer details of the film.
When I want to try the new trendy restaurant downtown, even spur of the moment, I can walk right in, without a reservation and enjoy dinner with my shadow. You actually get a chance to enjoy your food, savour every bite, and even order 2 desserts if you want to. The big bonus here is you don’t have to watch your partner pick through his truffled mashed potatoes, lamenting that he has a full bag of Doritos at home; you can also enjoy your dinner without his dazzling performance of "see food" on display.
If I want to spend 6 hours in a museum, admiring Cubist works of art, I can. I can take my time and I don’t have to explain "why THAT is art" and listen endlessly about how a child could have painted it.
There are no in- laws, no fighting over the remote control, and the absolutely most important, when you put something somewhere, it doesn't mysteriously disappear. I had a $25 pair of Tweezerman tweezers that disappeared and then magically reappeared in the bathroom drawer. Covered in scuzz. When I questioned my boyfriend about what had happened to them, he replied simply: "hair ball in the shower drain".
You have control over your own time and your own finances. You can save for retirement at will and not have your partner look at you with the quizzical look on his face saying, "but we've got 35 years! Why ruin our life now saving so we can have fun when we're too old to enjoy it?" Because we’re responsible adults, that’s why.
Now from the outsider perspective, the happily single life may seem lonely, and for want of a better term, horny. Well, women in their early thirties are known to be quite frisky, but it's not impossible to survive – just add a little self love now and then. Being single is probably the best sex I’ve ever had. No bad breath, no smelly underarms, no racing stripes in his underwear that you rip off in the heat of passion, no hairy backs, no one minute man, no four-hour man, no *kitten*, no angry pirates, no falling asleep halfway through, no falling asleep right after, no screaming out the wrong name, no faked orgasms and no broken beds. Nope, just zero to sixty in 30 seconds flat.
So single women of the world, unite. When your parents ask you if there's a special man in your life, just do what I do: smile and with conviction say "nope". Or better yet, go add another cat to your collection.
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Replies
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Hello, this is an article that i wrote which appeared in the April 3rd issue of the Malaspina Navigator. i thought you guys might get a kick out of it.
Single and Loving It:
So I walked into work on Monday, beaming from the fabulous weekend I had just experienced. I was ready for the usual water cooler chit-chat about the weekend.
"So, how was your weekend?"
"Oh, it was amazing!"
"What did you get up to?"
"I went down to Victoria, got a suite at this amazing hotel over-looking the harbour..."
"Oooh how romantic," she gushed.
"Then I got myself all dressed up, with makeup, a trip to the salon and even put on a dress. I went for dinner at this amazing, trendy restaurant downtown and treated myself to 2 glasses of champagne, chipotle crab cakes, succulent lobster with charbroiled tenderloin and a chocolate mousse to finish it off."
"Wow that sounds amazing, you're so lucky."
"After dinner, I went to the opera. The venue was filled to capacity, but I had no trouble finding a great seat. It was wonderful, awe inspiring... I went back to the hotel and drew a hot bath in the Jacuzzi, soaking for what seemed like hours. I went to bed, sinking into the soft down pillows and luxurious duvet.”
“How romantic!”
“In the in the morning I had brunch in the breathtaking dining room, with floor to ceiling glass, and watched the boats take their first sail of the day. All in all it was a great weekend."
"It sure sounds like it. So... who's the lucky man?"
"Man?"
"Well, the one who swept you off your feet for the weekend... details, gimme details!”
"There was no man..."
"A woman! Oh Lindsay, I had no idea!"
"No... There was no woman either. I went by myself."
"By yourself?"
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Alone."
"Alone-alone?"
Now, after about ten minutes of her standing there, incredulous at the fact that I partook in all of these activities alone, she finally asked me the question I knew she was dying to ask.
"Wasn't it lonely?"
"Nope, it was great."
Being one of millions of nice, single women in their 30's the idea of actually enjoying being single is somewhat foreign to an outsider. This is especially true of other thirty-something women who are decidedly unhappy being single and who would never be caught dead engaging in any activity solo.
I have been in many relationships. Some of them worked, for a short period, while many of them did not. But I refuse to wallow in self pity, like the Bridget Jones’s of the world who truly believe they will "die sad and alone, found two weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs."
I am part of a growing number of women who would rather enjoy their lives alone than being in an all-consuming claustrophobic relationship where they lose, not only their identity, but their self respect. In my eyes, there is a new movement sweeping across North America, of women who are faced with the possibility of being alone for the long term. From my perspective, being single has a myriad of benefits.
Going to the movies alone on a Wednesday afternoon is thoroughly enjoyable. You get your own private viewing with no kids banging the backs of your seat, no one tall in front of you blocking your view, and the freedom to laugh or cry at will without any inhibitions. I even keep a movie journal, and take myself out for coffee afterwards to "discuss" the finer details of the film.
When I want to try the new trendy restaurant downtown, even spur of the moment, I can walk right in, without a reservation and enjoy dinner with my shadow. You actually get a chance to enjoy your food, savour every bite, and even order 2 desserts if you want to. The big bonus here is you don’t have to watch your partner pick through his truffled mashed potatoes, lamenting that he has a full bag of Doritos at home; you can also enjoy your dinner without his dazzling performance of "see food" on display.
If I want to spend 6 hours in a museum, admiring Cubist works of art, I can. I can take my time and I don’t have to explain "why THAT is art" and listen endlessly about how a child could have painted it.
There are no in- laws, no fighting over the remote control, and the absolutely most important, when you put something somewhere, it doesn't mysteriously disappear. I had a $25 pair of Tweezerman tweezers that disappeared and then magically reappeared in the bathroom drawer. Covered in scuzz. When I questioned my boyfriend about what had happened to them, he replied simply: "hair ball in the shower drain".
You have control over your own time and your own finances. You can save for retirement at will and not have your partner look at you with the quizzical look on his face saying, "but we've got 35 years! Why ruin our life now saving so we can have fun when we're too old to enjoy it?" Because we’re responsible adults, that’s why.
Now from the outsider perspective, the happily single life may seem lonely, and for want of a better term, horny. Well, women in their early thirties are known to be quite frisky, but it's not impossible to survive – just add a little self love now and then. Being single is probably the best sex I’ve ever had. No bad breath, no smelly underarms, no racing stripes in his underwear that you rip off in the heat of passion, no hairy backs, no one minute man, no four-hour man, no *kitten*, no angry pirates, no falling asleep halfway through, no falling asleep right after, no screaming out the wrong name, no faked orgasms and no broken beds. Nope, just zero to sixty in 30 seconds flat.
So single women of the world, unite. When your parents ask you if there's a special man in your life, just do what I do: smile and with conviction say "nope". Or better yet, go add another cat to your collection.0 -
Wow! Awesome read. I'm 54, single and loving it. I don't know how many times I've had someone ask me if I have a boyfriend yet. No I don't and I don't need one to be happy. I figure if God wants me to have a boyfriend He'll send me one. Otherwise I'm perfectly happy just being by myself. :happy: Thanks for the great article.0
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I agree that there is nothing wrong with being single and sometimes I miss that freedom.
I do want to remind you all that we wouldn't have these freedoms and many other things in life that make it pleasant, if it weren't for the protection and strength of American Men! Don't hate, appreciate!0 -
Ahhhhh, sounds like bliss!! Please, please, please, enjoy being single!!! If you do eventually end up in a relationship, it will be healthy because you know how to be alone with yourself and enjoy it and be comfortable. So many women end up in dissatisfying relationships because they "had to have someone, anyone, even if it's the wrong one" I'm trying to help my 12 year old daughter understand early not to rush into things and to enjoy life however it comes at her. To teach her that she can get an education, and live life, without settling for someone just to be with someone. Hold out for the best - sometimes the best is ourselves!!
I'm going to print this off and save it for her
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lol! This is the best article I have ever read. I'm going to share it with all my single friends and maybe show it to the people who can't understand why a single life is a happy life. Not one of my coupled friends can say they are truly pleased in their relationship or go 5 minutes without complaining about what he did now to ruin their day.
Hey, I will alway adore guys and I can sympathize with their issues about women but right now 'it's all about me'. I enjoy being independant and if someday someone clicks with me I will be a better person for knowing my individual self rather than just half of a pair.0 -
Bravo!! I needed that, today
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"No man is an island, entire of itself..." - John Donne
There's something missing from this article: friends. Being single means not having a husband or a boyfriend. It doesn't mean going to movies with a journal and eating dinner with your shadow. Or at least not being alone all the time. Not to anyone who really is "single and loving it" anyway.0 -
it also means that you don't want to be a 3rd 5th or 7th wheel. you're happy going about your life independently.
obviously i have friends, as seen in the first part of the story. my point was that you dont have to sit home and wallow. and that you dont have to have a man to have a fulfilling life.0 -
What about going out with a female friend? Or in a group of four, as in Sex and the City?
As for the first part of your story ... those were co-workers, weren't they? Do you ever invite one of them to the movies, or out for dinner, or for a weekend retreat? If so, maybe you are "single and loving it."
If not, the rest of your story suggests that your life is not only a single but a solitary and bitter one.0 -
Great article! I love the part about not having to deal with sweaty, weird men during sex! :laugh: :laugh:
I am married, but definitely miss my single life sometimes! Especially once the kids come, don't expect to have a second alone, not even to use the bathroom!!! :grumble:0 -
What about going out with a female friend? Or in a group of four, as in Sex and the City?
As for the first part of your story ... those were co-workers, weren't they? Do you ever invite one of them to the movies, or out for dinner, or for a weekend retreat? If so, maybe you are "single and loving it."
If not, the rest of your story suggests that your life is not only a single but a solitary and bitter one.
i'd prefer if you didn't respond to me. the only time you say anythign is to put me down and i dont like it. thanks.0 -
LOVE the article. And as a single 30+ woman, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.
"It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got."
So, when I'm in a relationship I love and appreciate that guy with my whole heart. And when I'm single, I make sure that same love and appreciation is there for me and me alone. All that love that fills your heart when you are in love doesn't go away...you need to turn it inward and flood yourself with those good feelings.
I have had the most amazing adventures on my own, and met the most amazing people BECAUSE I am alone. All I do is open my door, step outside into the world, and claim it as my own!0 -
I love the article too. I don't get any of the relaxing, peaceful stuff cause while I don't have an "official fella", I have 2 adorable kling ons (children) that go with me everywhere. :bigsmile: I like my single life just the way it is. However, getting a little nookie here and there would ok too :blushing:0
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Oh I love it too!
Even though I have a boyfriend, I'm very independent and sometimes act like I'm single. I love to go places by myself and do things alone. He's the opposite and it drives him crazy that he's not invited when I go on little weekend vacations by myself, but whatever...0 -
However, getting a little nookie here and there would ok too :blushing:
he he, yes i occasionally get the nookie. there is something quietly satisfying about having incredible sex, grabbing your coat and going home to watch "what not to wear" in your ugly pajamas, and flicking back and forth between that and the "antiques roadshow" lol.0 -
Here's a good way to get the best of both worlds - independence, time to do what I like to do, quiet time - and passion, romance, companionship, etc........
Marry a Musician!!
I like to call myself a "drummer's widow" and I joke that I'm his 2nd wife - his first wife lives in a sound-proof room and prefers to be beat with wooden sticks every night...
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oooh single sounds so good right now lol!!! You are such a great writer!0
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