Near Tears after Weigh-In

Tachyonic

Hello, everyone. My name is Dani. I'm 23 years old and graduated from university a year ago. I'm 5'6" tall and, weighing in today at 228 pounds, I'm obese.

It hasn't always been this way. three years ago, I weighed a pretty healthy 155 pounds. I haven't always had great eating habits, but I tried to be active by joining casual sports teams, getting out and about, going to the gym, and keeping tabs on my weight (even if I fluctuated 5-10 pounds at a given time).

I don't know EXACTLY what happened, but sometime in the last two and a half years, I cracked. My eating habits are horrible. I eat fast food almost daily and almost never prepare meals at home. I'm always hungry. Although I recently adopted a dog and have been getting out to walk him, I don't get my heart rate up enough to really be exercising sufficiently.

I weighed myself for the first time today since December 2013 (when I was still shocked to discover I had hit 200 pounds).

I can't go on with these horrible habits. I need to make some changes. But it's so difficult. I hate using my personal issues as an excuse, but I suffer from pretty severe depression, am possibly mildly bi-polar (my psychiatrists are a little at-odds with this diagnosis), and I have some yet-undiscovered problems that do not allow me to be fully rested when I sleep.

I guess I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy, mixed with a lot of motivation and some tough love. Have any of you been in a similar situation? I feel like I've hit rock bottom... how do I start digging my way out?

SezxyStef

I won't give you sympathy...I understand depression...I Live with it in my life...you don't need sympathy for that...you need understanding and acceptance mainly from yourself.

Motivation...I can't give you that either...you dig deep and find it yourself...look at success stories here that's what I did.

tough love eh...you already know you are down, I am not gonna kick you while you are down there.

However I can give you a start.

Remember this..it's not what you eat...it's how much. The best thing to do is to buy a food scale and start logging everything that goes in your mouth.

See how much you are really eating...then go by that.

Do not give up your favorite foods, the stuff you love just eat it in moderation. Choose foods that keep you feeling fuller longer like protien and fiber. Drink some water. I won't say stop eating fast food...I still eat it...just in moderation. I love cooking at home as most food I buy out isn't even half as good as what I can make...

Exercise...is for fitness and health and if you like it do it. It helps with depression btw...and it helps with sleep...I know this from personal experience...I haven't had a bout of depression in almost 2 years...guess how long I've been exercising....and it helps me sleep better...I am now up before my alarm most days...

As for walking the dog...it doesn't matter you are moving more doing that than you were when you weren't doing it.

PS...I remember when I saw I hit the over 200lb mark too...there is a pic in my profile of it...I was devestated too...that's when I decided I was done...for me tho I didn't know MFP exisited so I yo yo'd the same 20-30lbs for 2 years...don't do that...

Eat at a reasonable deficit...(please don't go down to 1200 or below) and you will lose weight...

Remember your goal should be to eat as much as you can and still lose weight...not punish yourself through deprivation and hunger for getting over weight.

Holly_Roman_Empire

I won't give you sympathy...I understand depression...I Live with it in my life...you don't need sympathy for that...you need understanding and acceptance mainly from yourself.

Motivation...I can't give you that either...you dig deep and find it yourself...look at success stories here that's what I did.

tough love eh...you already know you are down, I am not gonna kick you while you are down there.

However I can give you a start.

Remember this..it's not what you eat...it's how much. The best thing to do is to buy a food scale and start logging everything that goes in your mouth.

See how much you are really eating...then go by that.

Do not give up your favorite foods, the stuff you love just eat it in moderation. Choose foods that keep you feeling fuller longer like protien and fiber. Drink some water. I won't say stop eating fast food...I still eat it...just in moderation. I love cooking at home as most food I buy out isn't even half as good as what I can make...

Exercise...is for fitness and health and if you like it do it. It helps with depression btw...and it helps with sleep...I know this from personal experience...I haven't had a bout of depression in almost 2 years...guess how long I've been exercising....and it helps me sleep better...I am now up before my alarm most days...

As for walking the dog...it doesn't matter you are moving more doing that than you were when you weren't doing it.

PS...I remember when I saw I hit the over 200lb mark too...there is a pic in my profile of it...I was devestated too...that's when I decided I was done...for me tho I didn't know MFP exisited so I yo yo'd the same 20-30lbs for 2 years...don't do that...

Eat at a reasonable deficit...(please don't go down to 1200 or below) and you will lose weight...

Remember your goal should be to eat as much as you can and still lose weight...not punish yourself through deprivation and hunger for getting over weight.

This is your second best post.

This one is your best: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide

OP, read that link and this one:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You can do it.

Tachyonic

Thank you. It is nice to hear that others have struggled with depression and have learned how to manage it. I do have a food scale and have used it before. I suppose mostly it is an issue of not being lazy and using it when I eat at home.

I learned the hard way several years back that eating at a very low deficit doesn't usually work out. I dropped down to a net of 1,200 calories a day. I lost somewhere between 5-10 pounds in a few weeks, but gained it all back. Totally not sustainable.

Limath

A phrase I learned a few years ago that always sticks with me - Something like:

"Following a healthy lifestyle and losing weight is hard. Being overweight and out of control is hard. Choose your hard".

It motivates me at least. It reminds me that whatever I do, good or bad, really is a choice.

I wish you the best!

Tachyonic

This is your second best post.

This one is your best: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide

OP, read that link and this one:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You can do it.

Thanks! Luckily, my perfectionist nature allows me to take pride in really accurately logging food. It's just a matter of staying motivated and agreeing to myself to take the time to log everything properly.

SezxyStef

This is your second best post.

This one is your best: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide

OP, read that link and this one:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You can do it.

aww thanks...just speaking from the heart...I was there and just want to offer the support I got...paying it forward...

rmdaly

It took a lot of courage to write about yourself and your issues.

Exercise is a good help for depression. It might not cure it, but it can certainly help it a little. Your new dog would probably love you to pieces if you got him out for a good walk every day. Walking is great exercise, so don't discount it. Joining an exercise class could also help since being social can help with depression. I am not a health professional and these suggestions may be better suited for someone with different levels of depression than you. Continue working with your doctors.

It sounds like you already have relationships with doctors. Can you get a recommendation for a registered dietician? Maybe someone that also deals with emotional issues with food? If not, start researching Mindful Eating and Self-compassion diets. Its a way to think about what you are eating and what you are hungry for without the self-judgement and self-hatred that a lot of us suffer from.

Finally, I don't really like the term "motivation" because it seems very nebulous. Instead, I try to work on forming better habits. Since you say you eat fast food a lot, maybe try to cook more at home or take nutritious foods with you.

Try just doing little steps to change your habits and lifestyle and work on your self-esteem. You are at a great point in life right now, just after college, work on getting better so you can enjoy it!

wheird

No sympathy here. Raise your chin up and start looking inside of yourself for your inner fire.

You had a bad weigh in. Big deal. Use it as a learning experience that what you're doing may not be working. Start learning about nutrition and then start applying it to your diet and exercise.

You can do this, but only if you want to and are willing to work.

RavenLibra

Stress can lead to poor sleeping patterns can result in a dysfunctional metabolism... which leads to weight gain which leads to sleep apnea which leads to weight gain.. which leads to poor body image, which leads to Stress... AND if you have a "computer habit, or a Facebook habit.. blue light spectrum... which is emitted by almost all computer or television devices can lead to reduced seratonin production in the human body which is key to healthy sleep patterns... NEVER use a computer of any sort in a dark room, only in well lit areas especially in the hours leading up to your bedtime..

IF any of this is true... then you might find an answer and a way forward... the great news is you found "us"... NOW you can do what you need to do to get back that person you were... welcome and GOOD luck!!!

Longisland2NC

I found that when I logged what I ate - it was the first time I REALLY understood why I was gaining the weight! Yes, I knew I was over eating or eating the wrong foods, but I didn't realize HOW MUCH I WAS over eating!!!! Sure, some people can do it without logging - but I did, and it MOTIVATED me and made me aware of every.single.thing I ate and drank! And as soon as I paid attention, the weight started coming off....and I looked forward to coming on here and logging and corresponding with others who understood what I was going through!!

You CAN do this.....and you need to do it the way it works for YOU. Some just do calories in, calories out. Some do Low-fat ~ some Low carb (I personally do Keto) I try not to look at it as a DIET, but changing the way I eat and live. GOOD LUCK!!!

Tachyonic

Thanks a lot to everyone that has responded. It's really hard for me to face the facts (even if I know it's true, deep down) that there is no "miracle" way to easily start making changes, or even to get motivated, really. It's gonna be hard.

I really appreciate everyone that has given advice on how to deal with the depression aspect of my struggle. It really is all interwoven into my weight gain and general attitude about myself and my body. You're all right: getting started is the hardest part but making those healthier choices and exercising is bound to help my sleep and my depression.

mandybear014

I admire your courage to share your story.
I have had a few battles with depression so I can relate.

Like everyone has said before, you can do this.
Just start small at first - baby steps. Don't try anything drastic. The first few days I found were tought to adjust but after awhile it became a habit and a good one at that.


I would like to offer my support in your weight loss journey. I'd liked to be your friend here on MFP if you want.

TheStephil

I won't give you sympathy...I understand depression...I Live with it in my life...you don't need sympathy for that...you need understanding and acceptance mainly from yourself.

Motivation...I can't give you that either...you dig deep and find it yourself...look at success stories here that's what I did.

tough love eh...you already know you are down, I am not gonna kick you while you are down there.

However I can give you a start.

Remember this..it's not what you eat...it's how much. The best thing to do is to buy a food scale and start logging everything that goes in your mouth.

See how much you are really eating...then go by that.

Do not give up your favorite foods, the stuff you love just eat it in moderation. Choose foods that keep you feeling fuller longer like protien and fiber. Drink some water. I won't say stop eating fast food...I still eat it...just in moderation. I love cooking at home as most food I buy out isn't even half as good as what I can make...

Exercise...is for fitness and health and if you like it do it. It helps with depression btw...and it helps with sleep...I know this from personal experience...I haven't had a bout of depression in almost 2 years...guess how long I've been exercising....and it helps me sleep better...I am now up before my alarm most days...

As for walking the dog...it doesn't matter you are moving more doing that than you were when you weren't doing it.

PS...I remember when I saw I hit the over 200lb mark too...there is a pic in my profile of it...I was devestated too...that's when I decided I was done...for me tho I didn't know MFP exisited so I yo yo'd the same 20-30lbs for 2 years...don't do that...

Eat at a reasonable deficit...(please don't go down to 1200 or below) and you will lose weight...

Remember your goal should be to eat as much as you can and still lose weight...not punish yourself through deprivation and hunger for getting over weight.

This is your second best post.

This one is your best: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide

OP, read that link and this one:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You can do it.

These two ladies gave you all the information you need. Take it slow, do your research (read the two links she provided, I wish I had them when I started) and be kind to yourself. You aren't going to be 100% perfect. You will go over your calories occasionally, you may fall off the wagon, and you may feel like giving up. It matters that you pick yourself up, do better the next day and keep going. I've been at this for way too long and I still have weekend that I just take a break and go a little crazy with my calories. The important thing is that I continue to eat better and track the following days.

You got this.

TheStephil

Thanks a lot to everyone that has responded. It's really hard for me to face the facts (even if I know it's true, deep down) that there is no "miracle" way to easily start making changes, or even to get motivated, really. It's gonna be hard.

I really appreciate everyone that has given advice on how to deal with the depression aspect of my struggle. It really is all interwoven into my weight gain and general attitude about myself and my body. You're all right: getting started is the hardest part but making those healthier choices and exercising is bound to help my sleep and my depression.

Give it time, it won't be that hard once you've practiced it. Just get in the habits and before you know it, it will be second nature. It takes me a total of maybe 2 minutes a day to track my food. I know approximately how many calories I can eat when going out and still fit my goal for the day. Plan your days ahead of time and get familiar with how many calories your favorite foods have, how much a serving of those foods weigh and how well they keep you full.

mmredd100

Personally I had to hit the rock bottom as well to realize that I needed to change my habits. Everything that everyone has added here are good tools to start. Walking is my best suggestion and you get the added benefit of taking your dog along with you whom needs the exercise as well to stay healthy. My other advice is to not beat yourself up for your mistakes if you decide to take the journey into a healthier lifestyle. I would venture to say most people on this site with huge personal successes slipped up a time or two when they were trying to reach their own goals. When that happens pick yourself up and move on. I feel as if it really is a full time job except there really is no "time off". Logging everything (even when you go over your calories) really does help. I have found recently that if I pre log my meals it prevents me from going over. Also it has helped me to set and live by short term goals, of course this is personal preference and what works for me, but it could work for you to. The reason it helps me is because it's easier for me to set my goals by 5 pound losses rather than the whole 40+ pounds in the end I would like to be gone.

As for the depression and sleep issues. I have the mentality to not judge anybody because everybody has stuff they are dealing with and everyone takes things differently. I have never been truly diagnosed with depression but have experienced the symptoms that people would consider depression. The best thing I ever did for myself during those days of being down in the dumps was to get healthier. In my situation nothing added salt to the wound more than poor self confidence/self esteem. Working out and making healthier choices made me feel like I was doing something for myself to make myself better. Maybe it can do the same for you. And like someone else already said exercise helps curb the symptoms as well and helps you sleep.

It will take time, allow yourself room to make mistakes and find what works for you. You've already made a great first step and that is admitting that you need to change. Do tons and tons of research. Feel free to add me for support as well. I'm not an expert so I may not be able to answer questions but I can provide support!

scg17

Just wanted to add to the support. I have depression and anxiety disorders, and I'm lucky enough to say after a horrible start to my 20's, I am on a medication/life regimine that works for me, almost to the point where I can say I "used to have" depression and anxiety issues. Nothing is a substitute for good mental care, but I can tell you working out and being physically active has been a lifesaver for both issues. Endorphins help my depression so so much, and if I feel an anxiety attack coming on, I can typically work some of it off by lifting weights. Take care of yourself, and know that it does get better.

prettyfitchick

It's not about Motivation it's about making the right choice Choose to be fit. When u tumble just say oops I made the wrong choice and it's fixable. Today I order onion rings instead of saying I'm losing my motivation to stay fit I just told myself I made the wrong choice. It's just about learning no one is perfect we all got to start some where

SarahJayRigdon

A nutritionist came on our radio show and said "You can eat what ever you want, as long as YOU make it" What she meant was when you make ALL of your own food you are less likely to indulge in unhealthy foods for a variety of reasons. A piece of cake for example; You have physically made it so you know exactly how much butter and sugar is in it. It takes a lot of dishes to make a cake from scratch, which you have to then clean up.

Don;t get too down on your self, and start by making little changes, that make a big difference; like making your own meals and cutting out fast food.

jrhanna84

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/yoovie/view/because-im-not-invisible-damnit-666120

Read. Cry. Start your new life.

:flowerforyou:

This! You've is the best!