Not the success story that most post... but...

karmac0matic

Hey there! My name's Rose. I started out on a weight loss journey and ended up on a self-acceptance path instead!

When I joined MFP (again) I was ~116 lbs. I had very disordered thinking, decided I was going to severely restrict, and not let myself enjoy anything until I was my goal weight (a disordered 92 pounds, at 5'1". A weight I can only reach when I refuse to eat.)

Well, right off the bat, I lost 11 pounds! And I felt okay physically. Tired, lethargic at times, but okay. Emotionally? I was a complete WRECK. I was obsessing over every calorie, weighing myself multiple times a day on a bunch of different scales, working out like a freak for hours each day.

I was so unhappy and I didn't understand why. The weight was coming off, so why was I more miserable than before?

And then one day, I said "I'm going to take a break from MFP. A break from obsessing and counting and measuring. I'm just going to take a break."

That was probably the best decision I've made for myself in a long time. I spent a few days doing things I enjoyed, eating foods I loved, being with people I appreciated. I got myself some clothes that I thought would look cute on me. And, when I didn't weigh myself, I tried them on and DAMN. I thought I looked good!

Well, I came back to MFP after those few days. I weighed myself and the weight had gone back up, around 4 pounds... then the next few days, around 7... until here I am at around 112. And I have never felt better about myself than I do right now.

See, I thought losing weight would make me happy. I thought that if I spent my time consumed by guilt and self-hatred, I would finally begin to get results I wanted. I was SO WRONG.

I started logging again. But I changed my calorie goal from 600 a day to 1400 a day. I could finally eat regular meals, spend meal time with my family, and exercise without worrying about "OH I HAVE TO WORK OFF ALL THESE CALORIES!!!"

I don't know how this all clicked for me, because I've been dealing with a constant disorder for 10+ years of my life. But suddenly, here it is. I am all together. And I feel amazing.

Now I know, when I'm feeling triggered, I just need to stay away from the things triggering me, such as comparing myself to others' success. I also have started reminding myself how much my boyfriend likes my body, how much my body does for me, and how great I felt in those clothes even before I knew my weight had gone back up.

In the end, it wasn't weight loss that was making me happy. It was making healthier choices, changing my perspective, and learning to appreciate my body for what it is.

I can finally say- I feel absolutely beautiful.

These photos were from about an hour ago. I have NEVER smiled or been goofing off for bathing suit pictures. And before this past month, I've never felt okay with myself enough to wear a bikini. I'm so glad it's changed.




Thanks to all my super supportive MFP friends! Seriously, you've helped me to overcome so much.

If there's anyone who's looking for support or care or just general positivity, feel 10000% free to add me. I love talking to all of you and helping you on your journeys to self peace.

Cranquistador

:flowerforyou:

NaomiJFoster

Welcome back to your healthy and happy life!

AllOutof_Bubblegum

You look fekking gorgeous!! Congratulations on your new outlook, and your rockin' bod! (I wish I had your boobs!)

ponycyndi

:happy: You are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. We need more positive stories like yours.

mebepiglet123

Firstly ...you look amazing

I am so proud of you... Remember food nourishes your body and mind!!!!.. Never compare yourself to others as in their mind they may be more miserable than you...in their mind they may want to look like you...
I'm a wise old bird (44).

But I ask 1 thing of you... Copy and paste this post and out it away in your computer somewhere. Because what you have just said are very very wise words and you Must NEVER forget what you say now.....

sun_fish

Thank you for sharing your story, it is very inspiring. A big congratulations to you for recognizing you had a problem and taking control. You look beautiful :flowerforyou:

robertf57

Congrats!

OPile

You look great. You certainly don't need to lose any weight at all. How fantastic that you realise that. :-)

V0lver

what a beautiful success story! Congratulations!

katkins73

You look wonderful. I hope you can lock this feeling up in your head and not let the monster out again :flowerforyou:

karmac0matic

Thanks so much everyone! The support is amazing

And mebepiglet123- great idea! I've done just that. I don't want to let those feelings evaporate, I'll hold onto them.

tooiyoake

Thanks for sharing your story. You look beautiful! Congratulations on overcoming your issues..:)

rieann84

When you get to the ripe old age of 29 like me you just accept that this is your body and it's beautiful and it is a thing to be cherished. You look radiant, congratulations

Jelaan

Beautiful and wise. Congrats.

stennis

After reading your line on your starting weight I asked myself why you would even feel you need to lose weight. You discovered that is not what it was about. My compliments to you. What an inspiring and wise young woman you are. Congratulations. And BTW, you rock that bikini!

judy11351

Good for you!!! You are finally able to see the beautiful woman God created. :happy:

karmac0matic

Thanks so much guys!!

sabified

Awesome post to read- I always feel so horrible when I see people come on here with disorders, thinking losing more weight is what they want...

Glad to see your story :flowerforyou:

PrincessEliNa

This was such a great thing to read! congrats!!

allstatemom

You look amazing! Congrats on making the choice to be healthy and happy!

aledba

Hey there! My name's Rose. I started out on a weight loss journey and ended up on a self-acceptance path instead!

When I joined MFP (again) I was ~116 lbs. I had very disordered thinking, decided I was going to severely restrict, and not let myself enjoy anything until I was my goal weight (a disordered 92 pounds, at 5'1". A weight I can only reach when I refuse to eat.)

Well, right off the bat, I lost 11 pounds! And I felt okay physically. Tired, lethargic at times, but okay. Emotionally? I was a complete WRECK. I was obsessing over every calorie, weighing myself multiple times a day on a bunch of different scales, working out like a freak for hours each day.

I was so unhappy and I didn't understand why. The weight was coming off, so why was I more miserable than before?

And then one day, I said "I'm going to take a break from MFP. A break from obsessing and counting and measuring. I'm just going to take a break."

That was probably the best decision I've made for myself in a long time. I spent a few days doing things I enjoyed, eating foods I loved, being with people I appreciated. I got myself some clothes that I thought would look cute on me. And, when I didn't weigh myself, I tried them on and DAMN. I thought I looked good!

Well, I came back to MFP after those few days. I weighed myself and the weight had gone back up, around 4 pounds... then the next few days, around 7... until here I am at around 112. And I have never felt better about myself than I do right now.

See, I thought losing weight would make me happy. I thought that if I spent my time consumed by guilt and self-hatred, I would finally begin to get results I wanted. I was SO WRONG.

I started logging again. But I changed my calorie goal from 600 a day to 1400 a day. I could finally eat regular meals, spend meal time with my family, and exercise without worrying about "OH I HAVE TO WORK OFF ALL THESE CALORIES!!!"

I don't know how this all clicked for me, because I've been dealing with a constant disorder for 10+ years of my life. But suddenly, here it is. I am all together. And I feel amazing.

Now I know, when I'm feeling triggered, I just need to stay away from the things triggering me, such as comparing myself to others' success. I also have started reminding myself how much my boyfriend likes my body, how much my body does for me, and how great I felt in those clothes even before I knew my weight had gone back up.

In the end, it wasn't weight loss that was making me happy. It was making healthier choices, changing my perspective, and learning to appreciate my body for what it is.

I can finally say- I feel absolutely beautiful.

These photos were from about an hour ago. I have NEVER smiled or been goofing off for bathing suit pictures. And before this past month, I've never felt okay with myself enough to wear a bikini. I'm so glad it's changed.

Thanks to all my super supportive MFP friends! Seriously, you've helped me to overcome so much.

If there's anyone who's looking for support or care or just general positivity, feel 10000% free to add me. I love talking to all of you and helping you on your journeys to self peace.

You are so cute I am so glad you have found peace with yourself. I hope you continue to remain positive and healthy.

250gorilla

Happy that you now feel good about yourself.. Happiness comes from within ourselves not how we look on the outside. Congrats on finding the healthy you. I wish you much success in the future.

asia1967

Amazing story. You should be proud of yourself. Job well done!!!!:flowerforyou:

BurntCoffee

Three cheers for recovery! I'm happy for you.

perseverance14

You look great just the way you are.

cherrilovee

Your body looks great just the way it is. Don't lose any more weight. Think about how good it felt when you put on that bikini and saw how great you look. If I were you, I'd work out doing strength exercises, just so you're still healthy without losing weight! Good luck.

ruthejp13

You look great! More importantly, I glad you feel fantastic!

I must admit, I'm judgmental about some individual's appearances. Not all the time but when I see pain. For example, I cringe every time I see the one anorexic person in the locker room at my gym. I can't stop visualizing her frail toothpick bones breaking if someone were to give her a hug. Her grey papery skin would rip if a mosquito bit her and she scratched. Or the other spectrum, a severely overweight person whose fingers are so swollen, I'm afraid they'll burst when clutching to grab more food. And it's not just weight. I love having a nice tan but worry for those individuals with skin whiter than my belly which has never seen the light of day out by the pool in the blazing sun. Keep in mind, even when someone makes a judgmental comment, it could be because they care.

Again, you look fantastic and I'm so very happy for how healthy you look and feel.

SteampunkSongbird

You look wonderful, yours is the figure I'd love to achieve! Congratulations for accepting yourself so well and seeing what other people can surely see. *thumbs up*

mochapygmy

I'm so glad you are enjoying your new happy, healthy life!

karmac0matic

Thanks everyone! Really appreciating it And hoping to stick to this mentality, the other way is tiring!