Should I be upset about my husband watching porn?

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  • blackcloud13
    blackcloud13 Posts: 654 Member
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    The Fact that you can so easily see what he was up to makes me think it's nothing serious - he is making zero effort to cover his tracks. I agree with the general consensus that you should find a way to let him know him watching porn is fine (would you watch with him).

    As for the bookmarking - 90% chance it's just harmless idling.

    Also bear in mind - I'm just guessing from afar ...
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
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    The facebook thing with local girls would piss me off and I would bring that to his attention that that is border-line cheating. All other porn, where there is absolutely no chance of physical touching, I would not care.

    HOWEVER - if you notice he is not initiating anymore, or he has sex with himself over you, this should be addressed asap.

    This.

    If he's not interested in sex with you any longer, that *could* be an issue. Also, it's not really a sign of a healthy relationship to air your dirty laundry to internet strangers nor is it a sign of a healthy relationship to "snoop" into what he is doing. FWIW. Go talk to him like a healthy adult.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Nope about watching porn.. Yes about tagging them on FB. Talk to him about it.
    ^^ This. and...
    I think that you shouldn't take porn personally. ... However, the bookmarked girls on facebook would make me go "seriously?" I think that's how you should approach it: openly, but calmly. Ask him why he has them favorited, and tell him what you're going through, and that you need him there. Let him meet you halfway, because that's what a good partner would do.
    ^^ This.

    Seconded on both accounts.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    The porn isn't the big deal it's the FB girls. Red Flag!
  • _Figgzie_
    _Figgzie_ Posts: 3,506 Member
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    Nope about watching porn.. Yes about tagging them on FB. Talk to him about it.

    +1
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    I noticed sometimes when I walk in the room my husband exes out of whatever site he was on. I got curious and yes I snooped on his laptop and found he has been watching porn every single morning when I'm asleep and in the evening when I'm definitely not asleep! I never turn him down for sex, I love sex as much as anyone else! I know men watch porn and women too ( I have before) but never when he's here. What hurts the most is I just had our son 6 weeks ago and have felt insecure about my post baby body which is why I joined MFP. Now I feel even more ugly and self conscious. The girls in the porn were all super skinny with perky boobs and like 18-20 years old. I also found that he has a bunch of girls facebooks bookmarked... Like pretty model looking girls, most from our area. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing but I'm truly upset. Should I confront him or just let it go?

    If you're upset, talk to him. Don't confront him. that won't end well. It could very well be that he doesn't want to ask you for sex, since it's only been six weeks. He's probably just.........reliving the pressure so you can just rest. I HIGHLY doubt it's a lack of attraction to you. I love my husband, but I still read erotic lit.

    I don't get upset about porn, but if you do, that's okay - it just needs to be made clear in your relationship.

    The bookmarking is maybe a little weird.

    Also - don't log into his stuff anymore - that's gross, and a total violation of his privacy.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    User deacted
  • abrar0290
    abrar0290 Posts: 218 Member
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    User deacted

    What a bummer
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Porn isn't a big deal at all, at least to me. I'd not be upset .
    the flagging Facebook is creepy.
    Just like a wife snooping.


    If you have an issue talk to him.
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    The porn no....local Facebook chicks yes...
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Porn in general is not an issue unless you feel it is interfering with your sex life. If you are being rejected by him sexually, then he goes and watches porn, then I would consider it an issue.


    But barring that, I say why not watch it with him?
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    Uh...seriously more concerned about random girls' (from your area) FB pages bookmarked...
  • Mitzki5
    Mitzki5 Posts: 482 Member
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    No to the porn unless he is turning you down or not initiating with you. The Facebook thing is wrong in my opinion.

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