i want to live and be happy

brismum10

I have to write this as I have so much to live for and yet I am killing myself with food. I hate where I am, I hate how overweight I am but most of all I really hate how this obsession with eating has given me diabetes hypertension and sleep apnoea, im scared of dying but I still cant stick to a diet lifestyle plan. I have a three and a half year old girl but I cant run around after her, I want another baby but am far to overweight to contemplate that. I want to travel to be in a job where I can help people but I cant do that. I want to break free of this but I need help. what can I do

jenmom2myboys

Welcome! Let's replace all the negative stuff. If you are going to start off with saying you can't do it then you won't. Take baby steps. Have you started your food diary yet?

RekindledRose

Hi Brismum!

First realize that YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT! As moms we tend to put ourselves last in everything, including health. You are worth it!

Secondly, a friend on this site reminded me that it starts with small steps! A small change! Just 10 minutes walking in place, if that's all you can do, or on the elliptical, or walking around the block one time a day. SMALL STEPS! Maybe give up soda pops, or at least mix it with 1/2 water 1/2 soda. Change your diet slowly, add activity slowly.

Third, get enough sleep. Sometimes I find that I stay up late after the babies go to sleep just to have 'quiet time', but the sleep is more important. Get good, restful sleep. That being said, wake up with enough time that you're not rushing in the morning. Give yourself time to wake up, clean up, and get fully dressed before the little one demands your time.

For now this is all I would recommend. You are worth it and you can do this! Small steps... and be kind to yourself.

Best wishes.

DivineChoices

I think if you change your outlook / approach / mentality about this, it might help you stick with this. This isn't a DIET. This is changing your lifestyle for the better. To fix your relationship with food. This isn't about being overly restrictive.

Have you considered going to individual counseling or therapy? From the sounds of your OP, I think you would benefit from counseling. Especially if you feel your eating is out of control.

I don't know EXACTLY what you are experiencing, what hurdles you have in your life to overcome, BUT you CAN do this! The ball is in your court. YOU are in control of your food. Not the other way around.

lbride

Best of luck to you, Perhaps if you scale down the effort, to one day at a time, one change at a time, it will seem more managable.
I bought my kiddos (same age), plates that show the correct types / amounts of food to eat (helps them learn healthy eating); 1/2 the plate is to be full of fruits/veggies, one quarter a protein, and one quarter a carb. Google and you can find them. They are really cool. You could use the same plate as your three year old (I do this b/c it keeps my portions in check naturally). And then you can make it a game.

blondageh

Sending you a FR. I have a 3 yr old little girl too and I started out over 400 lbs. With MFP, I can now swim with her and keep up pretty well. Lots of positive changes can happen. You just have to believe you can do it.

kenyainez

Your why is clearly established in your post. You have to first forgive yourself for any mistakes you think you've made with eating. Then, you have to make that decision that I'm going to be able to play with my three year old, travel with a job where I can help people, and have another baby and make that your driving force to stick with this for the long haul. This is a lifestyle. There is only the beginning, there is no end, you have to keep going. Rootiing for you. Sending you a FR for encouragement and support. \o/

bcattoes

Welcome! Let's replace all the negative stuff. If you are going to start off with saying you can't do it then you won't. Take baby steps.

This ^^

Focus on what you can do. You can eat less. You can move more.

You will have days where you overeat and you may feel bad about that. That's not failure. It's life. Move on. Always keep moving forward, even if there is the occasional step backward.

You can do it. You can show your daughter what a strong and beautiful person her mother is. You can learn to love what you see in the mirror. Just don't expect everything to change overnight. Life doesn't work like that.

Find an eating plan that you can live with long term and just keep working at it.

1donner1

I agree with the small steps theory. I am far from my goal, but this is the best site I have found to help me get there...once and for all. I have been where you are mentally. I never knew I needed a support system before, but my mfp friends have surely helped me. You need to know you ARE worth it. You can do it if you take small steps to reach your goals. Set small goals at first. Like just start with "I want to lose 5 pounds." I made myself a check list, and checked things off on a daily basis. Squats, lifting dumbbells, taking vitamins, drinking my water, 5 veggies, 3 fruits, etc. It really helped me get started when I didn't know how else to get started. Then I decided I would not sit to talk on the phone and then no more sitting to watch tv. Small things like that have helped me mak it to the halfway mark. If I can do it I bet you can, too. Good luck in your efforts. We're all here for support:)

coaoalo

I think you just have to do it in stages:

You can log your normal food on mfp
You can work out your BMR and TDEE
You can change the food you eat to healthier versions one meal at a time (if you haven't already done this)
You can pick a goal calorie number between your BMR and TDEE
You can reduce your calorie count 100 calories at a time until you reach the goal calorie budget
You can do this

Just for being on this site asking for help you're doing an amazing thing. You are honestly strong enough and worth enough to do this. I'm sorry if this is a bit corny- I was where you were 3 weeks ago. I've lost 12lbs since then. It might not seem like a lot but it's a work in progress. You can do it too.

If you don't know what BMR and TDEE are you can work them out here: http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

fivethreeone

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/yoovie/view/because-im-not-invisible-damnit-666120

I think reading this might be helpful to you.

Good luck!

blondageh

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/yoovie/view/because-im-not-invisible-damnit-666120

I think reading this might be helpful to you.

Good luck!

YES! This was such an amazing blog!! ♥

BookAngel_a

I agree with what everyone else said. Baby steps! I have over 100 pounds to lose and I've only lost 8 so far. I realize it can seem very overwhelming at times. But when you start to see small changes it is encouraging and motivates you to keep going!
I used to have trouble keeping up with my toddler but over the last 2 months I've gotten a lot stronger and it has gotten easier, even with only an 8 pound loss. So that's something!
Know that there are people here who are where you are, or who were where you are. If we can do it, so can you!

Dnarules

This is another great blog I saw today. It isn't just about fitness and weight loss; it is about taking the reins in your own life. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to ask permission to post these links, so I apologize in advance if I did this wrong. But this really spoke to me today.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ILiftHeavyAcrylics/view/if-i-don-t-come-to-my-rescue-no-one-will-667252

Laura3BB

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/yoovie/view/because-im-not-invisible-damnit-666120

I think reading this might be helpful to you.

Good luck!

wow lovely blogpost!