How has weight effected your social life?

jlshea

I used to enjoy going out with friends. I never want to go out with my girlfriends anymore. Infact, I can only think of one friend locally who I could call now and want to go out with without feeling like they are judging me. I've ruined friendships because I feel like some "friends" were so judgemental.

I used to care more about my appearance and liked looking nice and wearing makeup/doing my hair....not in a coinceited way but keeping up my appearance with regular haircuts and plucking my eyebrows. Now I hate looking in the mirror so I just avoid all that and live in yoga pants and hoodies/over-sized tshirts.

I did not attend my 15 year high school reunion last summer. I came up with a lame excuse so I would not have to see anyone.

I never attend happy hours at my husbands company because he's lost 60 lbs and I've gained 45 in the last 2 years.

I want to turn this around. I've obviously been/am depressed and kind of have more clarity now that I've changed a medication around.

JenniferIsLosingIt

You have got to love yourself! You are not defined by a number on a scale nor by the fashions you wear. Every person has value and worth! Fight those negative feelings by gettingout anyway! Exercise, go for a walk, go for a swim, dance around your living room! ANything! Just get active~! Good luck and God bless, I WILL be praying for you!

CA_Underdog

This is common, unfortunately. Many of us, when we gain large amounts of weight, feel judged and self-conscious. Thus, losing weight requires work on both the physical and the emotional aspects of ourselves. We have to realize there is more to us than a scale number.

If you need prodding to be social it may help to set social goals now that align with your weight loss rather than waiting until you feel ready. E.g., at -30lbs you'll go out and meet your husband's co-workers, at -20lbs you'll join a gym, at -10bs you'll do a makeover, etc. I've seen this technique work.

jdhoward_101

Since i've put on a stone, i've found that social situations are daunting; i'm constantly thinking all my friends will notice i've put on weight, and they may not say anything but just the fact that they've noticed is a terrifying thought. It genuinely makes me feel miserable when confronted with the thought of a large social gathering. And that's nto like me at all, i'm definitely a party person! One of the reasons i'm here, to lose that stone and get my confidence back. And yes, i also walk around in my boyfriend's clothes because i can't bear to wear anything fitting....i used to have such style

oedipa_maas

I am bipolar and go through incredibly bad depressive episodes. But nothing has made me reclusive like my weight. I say no to everything, I hide in my apartment...it's really hurt my social life. I also underestimate people--they don't care if I'm heavy, they just want my company. I always lie about why I can't do something because I'm so embarrassed that I am this self pitying.

One of the things I promised myself is I would become more social, no matter what my weight is. I'm losing weight, which helps me feel a little more confident, but really I just have to have the courage to put myself out there, even though I'm not perfect (like I'll ever be).

It's important not to isolate yourself, whatever you look like. But it does take a certain nerve and confidence to say, I don't care, I'm going to leave my house and get busy living.

unapologetically_crystal

first i want to say losing weight won't fix anything you already have going on. meaning if you are depressed or have body dismorphia typed issues.. you will still have it if you lose weight. having said that, toxic people are toxic so its good to get them out of your life anyways. you have to learn to love yourself and accept yourself as you are. i can say that weightloss can make you feel better and maybe gain confidence but its not always long lasting.

now how has weight effected my social life.. well i always got picked on. i only have one friend, who get this.. was actually a bully of mine til we became partnered up later in school. i was never really socialable.. i tried to be. but i was always "different". i was definitely always the big friend.. im pretty sure that if you were to ask someone from highschool what friend i was the only thing that would link me would be.. ya know the big girl with the glasses. i never got asked out.. (except online)... i never went to bars or clubs or even out much... i developed social anxiety.

with weightloss, i have become more confident in myself sometimes. its fleeting. i have at least 50% less social anxiety too.. i can actually order my own food, buy groceries on my own, etc like normal people now. i even did a 5k without any friends. but i still have the same demons. i can still be brought back to old times. .

LianaG1115

Changing meds doesn't help a heavy heart...counseling helps, gotta figure out what's holding you down..meds are only a bandaid for the mind not for the heart...Once that gets addressed then the rest falls into place. It sounds like you're harboring a whole lot more of something that is hindering your happiness. And if you obsess on the husband being 60lbs thinner, that doesn't help either, that will end you up in divorce court if you keep resenting him. Instead try working with him, go for walks, ride bikes, stuff like that it will not only benefit you but also strengthen your relationship.