should I drop a hint?

sengalissa

So through five pregnancies, my weight went up and down. I have been successful losing the baby weight every time. Within this time, my husband put on weight and never worked on it. Maybe once or twice for a few weeks but never consistent.
His health is affected (high cholesterol)... His dad died from cardiovascular stuff. Plus I really have higher expectations with me being super fit und me having to work so hard after every baby.

So... I love him. I can totally ignore it. But I do find it less attractive, and his weight does not make him happy. I see that he tries to hide it and hates mirrors etc. All the behavior I used to have! I totally get it. But when will he see that hiding it is more uncomfortable than eating right?
I cook in our family and I cook healthy. I even put my calories in for my lunch and he could simply get the food and the data copy-paste from my diary on mfp. I mean, how convenient is that? But he choses to leave half of the veggies there add 2 tortillas and a yogurt instead. How to make a 500 cal meal into a 800 cal meal. Add wine 3 nights and some other treays and he will gain. He also only works out every now and then although I offered him extra time etc.
I know there is not much I can do. He says "I feel so fat next to you"... But no action follows.
I guess I am doing what I can. Since his health is in danger, should I say something? What could I say without hurting him?

Edit: we are looking at like 20-30lbs, not too bad!

4legsRbetterthan2

I think you have a right to have a serious conversation with him about your concerns for his health if he is gaining weight. That is your business since he is supposed to be your partner in life, and taking care of himself so he is around to still be your partner is part of that commitment. However, there is right way and a wrong way to go about it. Tell him about your health concerns, give ideas for goals and solutions/ways to achieve them. Have the conversation once. Do not nag him again after that. Ultimately he has to be the one to find his own motivation for the weight loss. Continual nagging and underhanded comments will pull your relaitonship apart. Also, make sure he knows you still love and respect him as he is now, but this is about continuing to build your future together.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Not a hint. A serious conversation.

"Honey. I love you. I'm concerned about your health. You've said yourself that you are not happy with your weight. What can I do to help? Want to go to the gym with me? Maybe we can go on family walks every evening? We need to set a good example for our kids anyway. Maybe we should all get bikes..."