It's summer and I am not bikini ready

CJay77

I had to work an event for my job and it was at the beach last week so I found my eyes bombarded by seemingly happy scantily clad young women. The last time I went out with my husband and he checked out a another girl in super short skirt, I became an emotional mess because I felt so unattractive. Both instances have made me realize the problem is with me. I know I have a long way to go before getting my confidence and body back but is anyone else feeling the summer blues as all the short shorts and bikini tops come out on display? If so, how do you stay confident in the skin you're in while striving for beauty on the outside and in?

Priincess_Natalie

Confidence is on the inside, not the outside. No matter how perfect your body you could still have self esteem issues. Do yourself a favor, first love yourself and then work on your health. The shape of your body will change as you pursue those first two goals. Much love

deksgrl

There will always be someone more _______ than me. Skinnier, flatter tummy, bigger boobs, whatever......
Just have to realize that there is more to life than appearance, and keep working towards your goals. It takes time, and it takes work, and it doesn't happen overnight. Just work on being the best "you" you can be and stop worrying about how other people look.

CJay77

I will work on that! Thanks for the good advice.

mommyrana

True. There is no secret formula... and there will always be someone, thinner, stronger, richer, etc. etc. Personally I begin to feel better about myself as I stick to my goals and see progress. Even small victories ... You can't change the past- only move forward from today!

starryeyeddddd

i can definitely empathize with you on this. i'm going to galveston in 18 days and i'm still 26 pounds away from my goal weight. the thought of putting on a swimsuit right now makes me really anxious and down on myself. i try to stay positive but lately i'm just feeling really down on myself. i wish i could help, but i have the same problem.

stormbornkraken

I wish I had a secret to share that would help you. I do not know if it is my age (maturity not withstanding) but I have come to realize, who cares. I may leer at the gorgeous bikini bodies because I am envious but this is the body that I own. It is strong, capable and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Stretchmarks and scars and a little extra padding. It is mind and I have two bikinis now. I wasn't feeling very good about my body when I went to the lake but I decided to go ahead an put on the bikini anyhow, forget the one piece. I will NEVER look like those girls that I admire but that should not keep me from loving myself. They don't have to admire me but I will not allow them to shame me for a body that belongs to me and is the only one I will ever own.
5 years ago I never wore shorts, even in summer. But slowly, methodically, my self dialogue becomes kinder and I do not tear myself apart in front of the mirror. The body love continues to improve, and I have a long way to go, but I have come along way.

One woman I love is Jade Beall, she is a photographer that helped empower me to accept my perceived imperfections as perfectly normal.

I hope you learn to find confidence and know you are worthy of your own love. :flowerforyou:

AGirrl

I am so with you! I can't afford even wearing dresses, not to mention shorts or anything... short. It's summer, nice weather, and I still wear jeans, just white ones. I want to look nice in shorts so badly that I scream at myself for being so utterly ugly, but I can't do anything about it. I want to be admired in shorts, not commented upon as in "hey, so what that you have fat legs, you managed to squeeze into shorts, congrats!" I seem to be losing weight everywhere apart from my thighs. It is so distressing that I am at a loss. I look almost disproportioned b/c I wear different size for my T-shirt & jeans (8 and 12 (UK) respectively ) It is depressing, but I know that I must not stop, eventually I'll be there where I want and wear clothes that I want.

TavistockToad

Confidence is on the inside, not the outside. No matter how perfect your body you could still have self esteem issues. Do yourself a favor, first love yourself and then work on your health. The shape of your body will change as you pursue those first two goals. Much love

QFT

PrincessMissDee

OK here's the thing.. I had never ever felt good about my body and never worn a bikini, not even when I was skinny and probably underweight (because I felt fat and ugly then too).

3 years ago I weighed more than I ever had done but chose a beach holiday and took only bikinis. Want to know why?

I broke my back 6 months earlier. Then I had my gall bladder removed so I had a huge scar down my torso. That's when I realised none of the rest matters. I got my scars and my body out for all too see. I even ended up going topless on that holiday. Nobody cared. Nobody was staring or laughing or judging. Nobody cared.

Do what you want to do. The first time feels scary but when you get no reaction you'll find it easier next time.

Do something that scares you, go on.

CJay77

I so appreciate hearing from all of you. Sometimes you know you are not alone in your mind but you just can't feel it in your heart. Your comments are a huge help!

BlueButterfly94

There will always be someone more _______ than me. Skinnier, flatter tummy, bigger boobs, whatever......
Just have to realize that there is more to life than appearance, and keep working towards your goals. It takes time, and it takes work, and it doesn't happen overnight. Just work on being the best "you" you can be and stop worrying about how other people look.

Yeesss

SingRunTing

I am so with you! I can't afford even wearing dresses, not to mention shorts or anything... short. It's summer, nice weather, and I still wear jeans, just white ones. I want to look nice in shorts so badly that I scream at myself for being so utterly ugly, but I can't do anything about it. I want to be admired in shorts, not commented upon as in "hey, so what that you have fat legs, you managed to squeeze into shorts, congrats!" I seem to be losing weight everywhere apart from my thighs. It is so distressing that I am at a loss. I look almost disproportioned b/c I wear different size for my T-shirt & jeans (8 and 12 (UK) respectively ) It is depressing, but I know that I must not stop, eventually I'll be there where I want and wear clothes that I want.

Take up running. I know that you can't spot reduce, but running has made my thighs lose inches faster than they ever have before. Seriously, I've always had huge thighs, now I look at them and can't believe how thin they are!

As for the rest, you need to work on your inside. You could be rail thin and still not want to wear shorts if you can't get your self confidence under control.

GothJuice

Confidence is definitely the issue rather than size! To get a bikini body you put on a bikini! :P
In response to what you said though, yes I get a little bluesy seeing loads of girls my age in the area running around with short shorts on and their midriffs on display, I am yet to develop the confidence to just go for it!

heatheremde

How to get a bikini body in one easy step:

1. Put a bikini on your body.

ew_david

I had to work an event for my job and it was at the beach last week so I found my eyes bombarded by seemingly happy scantily clad young women. The last time I went out with my husband and he checked out a another girl in super short skirt, I became an emotional mess because I felt so unattractive. Both instances have made me realize the problem is with me. I know I have a long way to go before getting my confidence and body back but is anyone else feeling the summer blues as all the short shorts and bikini tops come out on display? If so, how do you stay confident in the skin you're in while striving for beauty on the outside and in?

He's going to look no matter what you look like. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

redheaddee

OK here's the thing.. I had never ever felt good about my body and never worn a bikini, not even when I was skinny and probably underweight (because I felt fat and ugly then too).

3 years ago I weighed more than I ever had done but chose a beach holiday and took only bikinis. Want to know why?

I broke my back 6 months earlier. Then I had my gall bladder removed so I had a huge scar down my torso. That's when I realized none of the rest matters. I got my scars and my body out for all too see. I even ended up going topless on that holiday. Nobody cared. Nobody was staring or laughing or judging. Nobody cared.

Do what you want to do. The first time feels scary but when you get no reaction you'll find it easier next time.

Do something that scares you, go on.

AWESOME. +1 million. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

thepandapost

There will always be someone more _______ than me. Skinnier, flatter tummy, bigger boobs, whatever......
Just have to realize that there is more to life than appearance, and keep working towards your goals. It takes time, and it takes work, and it doesn't happen overnight. Just work on being the best "you" you can be and stop worrying about how other people look.

Exactly. Take is from a girl who has never worn a bikini. I was obese as a child/teen/young adult and continue to work towards health as an adult. I kept thinking (and sometimes still do) get caught up in "Gosh, I must be missing out on some awesome club because I am not wearing a bikini". Um no, I am not missing out. I am living life and enjoying the company of the people I am with...regardless if my stomach is showing or not.

rbiss

For me it's not a seasonal thing. I made a goal, I want to be fit and healthy. It might take years, as I am loosing weight but still eating poorly. This whole process is a transition, and setting a goal based on a season will only make it worse for me. Do stuff that makes you happy, try and remember why your doing this, and let the rest of the stuff go.

Fit_Fox88

How to get a bikini body in one easy step:

1. Put a bikini on your body.

This!! I put on my bikini from a couple years ago (I didn't swim much last year so I didnt get a new one) and it was a bit tight. I went shopping and got a new one that fits my body so better, although I'm sure it's the same size as my old one. I'm not at my goal and I don't have the best looking thighs or tummy but I don't care and apparently nobody else at the pool does either. There are so many different styles of suits and bikinis now. Go to a swim shop and try on a few styles. Most swim shops will have cup sizes for the top and actual pant sizes for the bottoms, at least in my experience they have.

WebSliceGallery

I had to work an event for my job and it was at the beach last week so I found my eyes bombarded by seemingly happy scantily clad young women. The last time I went out with my husband and he checked out a another girl in super short skirt, I became an emotional mess because I felt so unattractive. Both instances have made me realize the problem is with me. I know I have a long way to go before getting my confidence and body back but is anyone else feeling the summer blues as all the short shorts and bikini tops come out on display? If so, how do you stay confident in the skin you're in while striving for beauty on the outside and in?

Unfortunately men will be men, they will always on the beach look at younger women with hot bodies. Not much one can do about it.

yopeeps025

I feel the same. I wanted to be beach ready to but I slacked. My fault. I know what I am doing. The fat melts off. The weight comes off slower due to muscle increase.

Athena1007

I had to work an event for my job and it was at the beach last week so I found my eyes bombarded by seemingly happy scantily clad young women. The last time I went out with my husband and he checked out a another girl in super short skirt, I became an emotional mess because I felt so unattractive. Both instances have made me realize the problem is with me. I know I have a long way to go before getting my confidence and body back but is anyone else feeling the summer blues as all the short shorts and bikini tops come out on display? If so, how do you stay confident in the skin you're in while striving for beauty on the outside and in?

My two cents - There's only one step to getting a bikini body: You put on a friggin bikini.

You do not exist for the viewing pleasure of others. Wear what makes you feel good and quit "fat shaming" yourself. It's no one's business what you wear to where (I mean, don't stroll around nekkid, though, you'll get arrested.)

In all seriousness, if you got paid just to look good (like models do) then you'd have a personal trainer and a personal chef and you'd spend 8 hours a day just tending to your body. Average people like you and me don't have that luxury. So I say, take the attitude of not caring what others think about how you look. You're on this site, you're taking steps towards getting healthy, and that's what matters. Take confidence in that!

Besides, as the good doctor said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind!"

Tbaby1514

How to get a bikini body in one easy step:

1. Put a bikini on your body.

The most obnoxious, overused advice ever.

ariesflame

I hope you find your courage to just do it. So many great stories here about folks just realizing we should just step out and do it, because its not about judgement from everyone else, its about how we feel.

Yes, he'll look no matter what, but you know what, I bet you he doesn't remember a thing. He remembers when you are radiant from being happy with yourself. He remembers how you great you make him feel when you are not down on yourself about something he can't help you with.
We all want to feel like the most beautiful thing in the eyes of our partners, but they can only see that when you do too. (But side note, let's also use it as a reminder that we should put in effort to make them feel sexy and appreciated too. Never take them for granted)

shellya30

There will always be someone more _______ than me. Skinnier, flatter tummy, bigger boobs, whatever......
Just have to realize that there is more to life than appearance, and keep working towards your goals. It takes time, and it takes work, and it doesn't happen overnight. Just work on being the best "you" you can be and stop worrying about how other people look.

This advice is awesome!