How do you keep going after death of family member?

apetranovich

I am having a hard time finding motivation to go workout and eat better again. Long story short, my dad died in an accident and our family has no reasons as to how he passed..even after autopsy. It was so sudden and he passed in the accident so I never got to say goodbye.
I'm emotionally eating myself and not wanting to go back and work out as hard as I used to. Is there anyone that can give advice as to how to move on with this journey? I know he would want me to live life and keep going but I just can't bring myself to push myself as much as I used to. I'm trying not to be hard on myself but I don't want to wait til how many pounds I've put on later to try and get back into it. Please help, I never lost anyone close to me

nomeejerome

I am having a hard time finding motivation to go workout and eat better again. Long story short, my dad died in an accident and our family has no reasons as to how he passed..even after autopsy. It was so sudden and he passed in the accident so I never got to say goodbye.
I'm emotionally eating myself and not wanting to go back and work out as hard as I used to. Is there anyone that can give advice as to how to move on with this journey? I know he would want me to live life and keep going but I just can't bring myself to push myself as much as I used to. I'm trying not to be hard on myself but I don't want to wait til how many pounds I've put on later to try and get back into it. Please help, I never lost anyone close to me

Allow yourself to grieve. It is ok to feel and experience a wide range of emotions that could change moment to moment and there is no time stamp on when things will begin to feel 'normal' again. Just do your best everyday.

mfp2014mfp

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am too an emotional eater, if you find yourslef doing this go have the cry that you need to. Or talk to someone about your dad, how great he was and how **** it is that he was taken from you. Get a punching bag. Do whatever you need to do to get it out and not eat it in. As nomeejerome said there isnt a time frame on grief and getting back to normal, but how you deal with it you can influence.

amberj32

I'm sorry for your loss. I know it is extremely difficult. I lost my brother suddenly at the end of January 2014. He was my best friend. Allow yourself time to grieve. I'm still grieving. The only thing that helped me was a blessing and a curse, T2 diabetes. I was diagnosed at the end of April 2014. Seeing how much pain my family is in I couldn't let them go through that pain again if something happened to me. Take it slow. Try and exercise it out and not eat it out. Cry whenever you need to. It will happen often. Talk to someone about your dad - friend, family, etc.

Amberonamission

So sorry for your loss. I can advise on keeping on track through tragedy. It took me 9 months to get over my loss. I am only starting to get a grip. Let yourself mourn. Forgive your process. You will wake up one morning and it won't hurt so badly.

zeal26

Go easy on yourself. Sadly there is no magic recipe. My dad passed away suddenly 10 months ago and I put on 10lbs in the few months after it. It's so hard to care, I know. I wish I had answers, I eventually just got to a point where I was sick of feeling crap physically so I started eating better and exercising and it did help mentally. Getting to that point can be rough though. Fake it til you make it maybe? So sorry you're dealing with this, I know how tough it is.

xRedRockerx

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My mum died on Easter day this year, although hers was from cancer. For me, I haven't struggled since she died with exercise, as my struggle was happening before she died - obviously I was not going to waste the little time I had left, so I didn't exercise for a good month or so prior to that. Since she's been gone however, I have actually found it spurred me on to do better. My weight has always been one of my biggest hangups and my mum saw all the self-hatred I had and I know it hurt her. One of the main reasons for me exercising was so she didn't have to see me like that any more and I'd set myself the goal of being happy with my body before she died. However, in the space of a month her estimated life span went down from two years to days and to her death, so I never got to do that. She did however see that the weight had started to come off, so now I feel like one of the biggest reasons I'm carrying on is for her sake.
Your dad would want you to be happy with yourself, and if exercising and being healthy is going to do that then keep him in mind when you're working out and let it push yourself more. That said, forcing your body and your mind to do something against its will is not healthy and won't help you in this situation, so if you feel like you can only manage a few workouts a week then so be it, and if you want a bar of chocolate or a big plate of carbs then you enjoy them, you deserve to right now.
I hope everything works out okay x

cebreisch

I lost my dad last December.

I started on my journey to lose weight in April 2011, and in January 2012 (I think) he was diagnosed with a couple types of cancer. He fought his cancer and I fought for my weight loss. In January 2013, I had lost 115 pounds, and had skin removal surgery for another 26. Then I had trouble recovering, and Dad kept getting more sick, until he passed away.

I really was "off the wagon" from March 29 (the date of the skin removal surgery) until 3 weeks ago....basically a year + a month.

When I started back in 2011, I remember telling myself, "Something has to change...I can't keep going like this." That's about what happened a few weeks ago. I was getting a variety of different chocolates from Russell Stover and Gertrude Hawk, different bags of chips, bags of cookies, boxes of donuts....one day, I said to myself again, "I can't keep going like this."

Then, I said, "Self, what's the first most important thing you can do to get going again?" The answer was obvious. Log Everything I eat as if I were working with a dietician who'd be looking at it. AND Act like I mean it.

It got easier from there. It was like the body knew what to do. Look for quality protein. Drink more water. Have more fiber.

I've been back on for 3 weeks, and I've lost 11 pounds. When I weighed in yesterday for the 2.6 pounds lost from last week, I got into my car, and gave a fist bump to the roof of my car, and said, "I'm doing it Papaw!"

I'm sorry for your loss. Know that he's still with you and supporting you. You can do this!

Yardtigress

I lost my mom in November last year. I eat comfort food for 4 months and gained 14 lbs. Then one day I just decided the start eating right again. I'm sorry for your loss, give yourself time to grieve and try to keep up with your life too.

thirteeninches

Maybe go easy on yourself. Weight loss can take a back seat... just maintain for now.

Everyone's grief experience is different, but one thing I do know-there is a great release of energy when a person experiences loss. The nervous system kicks in and pushes our body to that fight or flight response. One way I learned to work through my pain and avoid emotional eating was to channel my fight/flight response into exercise. It relieved a lot of my suffering and emotional distress-much much better than eating ever could. And not long after the death of my first husband, a good friend said something to me that made it all click together.

He said: Take your pain and make it into work. Then take your work and make it into art.

That has stuck with me through more loss and pain. I lost my grandmother, then my dad, then my step grandfather, then my father in law, then my paternal grandmother, then my aunt, then I remarried and went through a divorce...a lot of loss all within a few years. So I did my best to turn my pain to work to art. It didn't always work, though I got stronger-and so will you.

But you know what really made a difference? Time. Your pain will never go away, and you will have to keep using it to make your life better and more beautiful and build your emotional strength. But it is what it is. Just know, like with any muscle that is exercised-your loss will get easier to bear.