Why can't I succeed?

Commitment2014

I know what I need to do to lose weight. In reality, it's not brain science. I just don't know why I can't stick with my realistic and achievable goals.

I'm very successful in all other areas of my life but I just can't manage to succeed with weight loss.

I think I've conditioned myself to fail with weight loss after so many unsuccessful attempts.

I feel lost and hopeless.

Has anyone ever felt this way and actually succeeded with their weight loss journey? Any tips/advice would be truly appreciated...

Macrelmar

I've spent my whole life, (I'm 54) beating myself up because I know what to do, can tell others what and how to do it, yet I continually have failed miserably in my ,weight loss/health goals.

A year and a half ago in a state of desperation, depression, isolation, morbid obesity, feeling suicidal, guilt, shame, demoralization, I finally found something that helped. The realization, the awareness that I was blessed to discover is that I was powerless over food, no control, no willpower.

I'm a compulsive overeater, a food addict. Overeaters anonymous saved my life. I've been on a journey of progress rather than perfection, learning that I can't do this, but there is a power greater than me that can. That higher power is different for each person , and it. An even be something like the groups and people here on this site.

As I type his I'm thinking I might sound like a nut case, and even with the risk of you thinking I am, I felt led to share with you what's worked for me.

Now I feel my feelings and I'm learning how to deal with them. I don't use food to numb me anymore....well, sometimes. I've learned to put principles before people, and to try to love a life of integrity. For many many years my relationships struggled as I was so miserable with ,myself, I couldn't be in a healthy relationship.

Today I'm with my husband of 36 years, doing the best I can, one day at a time. We are happy and I do enjoy life but not without struggles daily. The difference is I just try my best to "do the next right thing" (I still have 75 lbs to lose)


I'm here for you if you want to vent or chat. Wishing you the best in your journey

Maryellen in Florida

turpenoid

I haven't reached my fitness goals yet, but I would like to share with you how my mindset about "weight loss" changed just over a few weeks.

I've had an eating disorder since I was in my early teens. Every day of my life since then has consisted of me beating myself up for any ounce of food I eat. This quickly spiraled into worse and worse binging/purging cycles until one day I looked at myself and realized just what I'd done to my body. Flabby stomach, no muscle mass. Granted, I'm very lucky that I'm young and realized my bullsh*t early on. But I've given myself gastric problems and quite a bit of self-induced anxiety over the past two years. I began to just truly hate myself. I didn't feel like I deserved to be loved or be healthy simply because I couldn't see any virtue in my own body.

After some difficult discussions with my fiance (but always with his love and support), I've realized just how terrible you can be to yourself. Is it worth the cycle of self-pity and weight gain just because you're afraid to try and fail? Failure is a part of taking a risk... but risks can also pay off so well. I decided to eat clean and exercise in healthy doses. In just two weeks, I've lost almost 6" off my body. My energy levels are through the roof, I'm more alert, and I really just feel so proud of myself for overcoming that little nagging voice in my own head.

Long story short, you don't have to lose ALL the weight to feel like you've accomplished something. Start celebrating the small victories of your lifestyle change and you may find it to be all the more rewarding. It's about the journey, too!

Falcon

Been there done that and gained it back because I stopped, and trust me a life style change doesn't happen over night. But you can slowly begin to get there, sometimes trying to make the life style change too fast sets up for failure. Start with small changes. I did feel like giving up a couple of times in the past six months.

For me it's always eating out and costing a fortune to do so. I started making better choices like going for a salad instead of a burger. I slowly edged my way from eating out all the time and before I knew it I was only eating out one to two times a week.

I still have the occasional setback but I don't beat myself up over it. Join a weight loss group or ask a friend to help with moral support, Just having someone to talk too and encourage you to continue to make the life style changes does help.

I have a friend who is checking up on what I'm eating and she puts me on the spot over the phone asking me what I plan to make for dinner and makes sure I have protein, some carbs, veggies and fruit and if I fall short I hear a lecture. :grumble: And she wants me to be honest with her about everything I've eaten in the past several months

Sometimes just taking a few steps back to figure out why it's not working does help.

It's not easy but with patience and a few changes here and there, you can do it

ninerbuff

TRUE commitment allows you to fulfill your goals. That's usually what separates the "wanna doers" from the "doers".

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Walter__

Best advice I ever received is this: You have to realize it's a lifestyle change, not a temporary fix. If you don't see yourself doing this diet months or years from now, then you are most likely going to fail because you are going to revert back to the old habits that got you fat in the first place

In the past, I've lost and regained weight back several times. Every time it was because I HATED the diet I was on. I finally found something that I can stick to. I've been at it for 9 months now; and, yes, I can see myself doing it years for now. I am close to my goal weight and have no doubts I can maintain once I reach it.

Another thing I learned: DON'T burn yourself out. I often times see people commenting on working out 5-7x a week. I really question how sustainable this is in the long term. I also doubt most people can keep this up for months, let alone years.

tl;dr: Find a diet and workout routine you can see yourself doing in the long term - years from now

littleburgy

I think sometimes when people refer to it as a "journey" or something to "succeed" at, they almost make it sound like a marathon or singular task that is started and then completed, which isn't what weight management is.

You have to form habits that you can stick with for the rest of your life. Habits are what you do on a regular basis even if you don't always feel like it. For me, that's going to the gym when I get off work even if I'm exhausted and would rather zone out at home -- or passing up on the extra junk food that co-workers bring in even though I'd love to demolish the whole bag.

I've lost weight and been maintaining for almost a year now -- but daily decisions are made to stay there.

RodaRose

Maybe this time set yourself up for success. Think about what you need to drop the weight and do/get those things.

mummma

hey you, quitter. quit quitting!

jenilla1

"I can't" is your problem...

mamadon

TRUE commitment allows you to fulfill your goals. That's usually what separates the "wanna doers" from the "doers".

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

^^^^Thats it right there^^^^
You have to really truly be commited to make a change for life. You cant quit because of what you have to lose overwhelms you. You can't quit just because you spent one day or maybe even two over eating on your alloted calories. You can't quit because its taking to so long to lose or because you havent lost any for a few weeks. You cant quit, because its your birthday, or a holiday or a vacation next week. You can succeed if you truly commit and don't ever quit.