Truths for Mature Humans
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I must confess that my mom forwarded this to me in an email; I'm not the author. I just happen to think it's very funny. 
TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to..
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies....Quit Laughing.
TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to..
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies....Quit Laughing.
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Replies
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My bestfriend has clear instructions on where to find the 1988 NKOTB t-shirt so she can destroy the evidence.0
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Love it..especially the last one! haha0
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lol thanks for the great laugh! so hilarious!
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Thank you for a great laugh! Now if I could just figure out how to cut and paste from this site, I would e-mail it to everybody in my address book!0
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Ha ha! Thanks for the wisdom and the laugh!0
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Thank you for a great laugh! Now if I could just figure out how to cut and paste from this site, I would e-mail it to everybody in my address book!
Highlight the words
Right click
select copy
open your email client
select compose
in the body area of the email, right click again
select paste
Voila!0 -
Good ones to wake up!0
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I freakin'
it!! Thank you, I needed a good laugh this morning!! 0 -
Reading this was a great way to start my day. I love #14 I actually have those people under DON'T ANSWER #1 DON'T ANSWER #2.... :laugh:0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I have actually been specifically asked to clear someones hard drive if anything ever happens to them......0 -
That's awesome! Great post! 0
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Don't see whats so funny, it looks all pretty correct to me. Except the last one "don't you ladies know are brains ain't in our heads."0
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Thanks for the good laugh!!0
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10. Bad decisions make good stories.
Nobody knows that better than me.0 -
bahaha this was fantastic!0
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loved it. thank you.0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That made my day!0 -
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I've been trying to figure this out for 40 years!! hahaha I do the wad and roll technique.0 -
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I've been trying to figure this out for 40 years!! hahaha I do the wad and roll technique.
I always fold from the corner seams.....0
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