Healthy Weight Loss (in recovery from eating disorder)

ziggy489

Hello.

Im actually pretty new here to the forums. Been lurking around but haven’t posted cause I wasn’t quite comfortable enough.

So here goes. Ive been in recovery from an eating disorder for 11 years. Was diagnosed with EDNOS since I didn’t quite fit the criteria for anorexia or bulimia. I haven’t had any recent issues with purging or restricting excessively or starving myself. I want to lose the weight the healthy way. I don’t want to go back down that road at all.

I’m 5’3 and current weight is 170.8. My highest weight was 186 at one point, but I joined this site when my weight was 176.4. So im down 5.6 pounds.

A few months ago someone had commented on my weight gain over the past year. I had gotten down to 157.6 lbs. well due to medicines and depression last summer I gained quite a bit back very frustrating that people are nitpicking my weight. That’s how my ED started back when I was a young teenager. I don’t want to go back down that road.

So I am determined to get the weight off in a healthy way. I joined WW for portion control and Ive been trying to stay Paleo for the most part. (I still eat a bit of dairy). I don’t want to obsess over calories which is why Im doing this. Calorie counting works but it feeds my ED. When I lost the 30 lbs last year WW worked well.

So heres my frustration.

While I’m losing weight, slowly, but its been weight loss for almost 4 weeks consecutive, I am getting frustrated with my stomach. That’s always been a trouble area. Im a runner, not terribly fast but I have done a few half marathons. Now that im eating better I thought the weight would come off a bit better with the running. I run 5 days a week anywhere from a mile to three miles. I also hula hoop (I know its odd but I can tell a small difference, but ive only been doing it a few days a week with a 5 lb. hoop). And a few core exercises after runs (push ups, situps, etc). I think I would be happy if I had the hips and legs I do now, and the chest up im ok with. Its that darn stomach!

Any helpful advice? I just want to make sure I don’t over exercise to where it becomes an obsession and triggers the ED habits again. 11 years in recovery and I don’t want to ruin that testimony.

Thanks guys!

wonderwoman234

Good for you for wanting to lose weight in a healthy way.

First things first:
1) Your weight does not define your worth as a woman in ANY way.
2) Anyone who comments on your weight is putting THEIR issues on you. Next time, tell them to focus on themselves.

Okay, having gotten that off my chest, I do want to say that research shows that overly restrictive diets don't work LONG TERM, so I would try to just cut back a little bit and exercise and ACCEPT that the weight loss will be slow. BUT it will help you learn to normalize your eating and teach you moderation that can last a lifetime.

Here is a good link to figure out your calorie needs. I actually don't like WW because they focus on the scale only to measure progress and I think the program makes people obsess about food. http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

The other thing I would say is this - you can still be beautiful, desirable, sexy, confident and fun AT ANY SIZE! Searching for a level of perfection that will never be reached is part of EDs and if you can reframe how you think about weight/worth, I think it will help.

I am 40 lbs. heavier than my normal weight. Yea, I'm curvy and I still have fat to lose. Guess what? I still feel good about myself. I am strong from lifting weights, I have a good brain and a good heart and I'm a kind person with a lot to offer the world. Oh, and my husband still finds me hot and so do some cute (and younger!) men at my gym who have either overtly come on to me or shown appreciation of my "assets" in subtle ways.

All this to say that how you feel about yourself is the most important thing. If you love yourself, and can be compassionate and accepting that you are not perfect, I think it will be easier to focus on just eating healthy, staying active, and living a happy live.

Good luck!

ziggy489

Thankyou so much for your reply.

I am definitely working on my self worth. Been a huge struggle almost my entire life to say I love my appearance. I am currently seeing a counselor (only had one session so far) so I can make sure I stay on track.

I agree WW doesnt focus on "healthy". Their whole thing is portion control to lose weight. My only thing is Im worried about the obsession starting with calorie counting. I started doing that a few months ago before I rejoined WW and realized it was triggery. I guess Im not quite ready to deal with actual numbers. So for now I really focus on Paleo type foods and portion control. Really I only use WW for my weekly weigh ins so that I dont have to weigh at home (its free through my work so I dont feel like Im wasting money).

I guess I'm just really looking for help on toning up my stomach. I seem to have the slow weight loss working for me, but my stomach isnt where I would like it to be. It sucks to be asked how far along I am...and im not pregnant. My stomach doesnt match the rest of my body. Its beyond frustrating.

caracrawford1

Hey there . quite a while ago I became quite obsessive about my weight and lost quite a bit very quickly. I also lost my period and began doing things that I now---with 20/20 hindsight---have learned are not normal and are indicative of an eating disorder. I began weighing myself upwards of four times a day, chewing food and spitting it out... stuff like that. I was referred to a nutritionist who asked me questions such as "do you throw up?" "Do you have forbidden foods?" At the time I remember being almost offended at this, but now, ten years later, I know why. I think the advice that you got from the previous poster is spot on. I would also like to add that as you recover, you learn to realize that you really can let some things go and its OK. If you don't get to exercise today, yes, it sucks, but its not the end of the world and you will not blow up overnight . Weight can and will come off, but there's no need to be anxious about it. Find ways other than the scale to measure your progress since the scale can fluctuate and then effect your mood for the day. Especially if the scale is trigget for you (it is for me). For example, I've yet to weigh myself in a month, but my clothes are looser and that's good enough for me right now. I will weigh in another week. I workout a lot because I'm in training for another race, but if I miss a workout because of life, well, nothing horrible will happen. I'll be better rested for tommorows workout . Do you see where I'm going with this? Friend or message me if you'd like. Good luck with everything.

ziggy489

Thanks ladies. I appreciate all the encouragement I am really trying to work through the self image issues and not define my self worth by the number on the scale.

I weighed in today and after four weeks of loss I gained 0.2 today. I'm not complaining as this was a hard week with no time to workout. I honestly expected to gain more. One thing I did notice was even after seeing the gain it didn't devestate me like it used to when I would see the number rise. So I think I'm on the right track. I just need to refocus and remember it's not about weight loss it's about healthy lifestyle changes.

What kind of races do you do cara? I've done a few half marathons and eventually would like to do a full marathon.

caracrawford1

Hey there! In answer to your question, my first race was the Tufts 10k for women, I then did a few half marathons for charity, and my first marathon was the New York City marathon. You will find the training for a marathon exhausting, but soooo worth it! I cried like a baby after my first one.

SueInAz

The trouble with having one body area that retains fat is that we can't do anything to lose from that one area other than lose it overall. Your body will decide when it's ready to let that area reduce fat. My "problem area" is my thighs, so I know exactly how you feel.

This may sound silly but have you tried any of the shapeware like Spanx? At least in your clothes,and to the world, you won't look, and feel, quite so out of proportion. Sometimes that's all we really need and probably why the woman who invented it has made a fortune.

ziggy489

That's awesome Cara! I've done 3 half marathons and they were pretty hard. Definitely plan on training for a full. I have medical issues that got in the way the past couple times I tried to train for a full (DJD, plantar fasciitis, hyperinsulinemia, asthma, and calf muscle issues). Most if those are resolved now, so maybe I can try again soon.

I agree sue. You can't just zap the fat from one area. I do have weight to lose all over. It just sucks with a lot of it showing in my stomach. Even though I've only lost 5 lbs this past month, I think even in the past two weeks I see a change in my stomach. I took photos two weeks ago and then Friday. And I think I can see a change. I dunno. Maybe I'm losing inches first before the scale budges? I'll look in to the shapers. That's a good idea!

amreadarrens

Hi.. You can do it. I am in the midst of my journey. Just don't give up. I am in a community now who did support me. It did answer all my questions about gaining weigh and helping me in lose weight. I know I can