Question about why we do what we do.

toots99
toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
Recently, I've been thinking about the reasons why people overeat. Any time you see a show on TV, like Biggest Loser or Intervention, there was always some type of trauma that triggered their behavior. Being molested as a child, a victim of violence, some sort of trauma.

I was wondering if there are times when that isn't always the case. Does anyone get fat just because they like to eat, not because they're covering up or self-medicating some type of pain with food. I guess the same can be asked when someone is bulimic/anorexic.

I ask because I don't know why I overeat. I mean, I can say why I overeat NOW...I'm bored and lonely. But why did I overeat when I was little? I can remember finishing an entire box of cereal at one sitting...often. But I didn't go through some sort of trauma or anything, I had a great childhood.

So I'm curious. Do any of you eat just for the heck of it, not to self-medicate. I'm not fishing for personal details on anyone's life (if you want to share, fine!) but I'm really curious.

Replies

  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    For me, I feel like its a combination of poor learned behavior and just it was a part of my identity. I have 4 brothers and a fairly large family overall- and we all just eat lots of food. Some healthy some not. And eventually I just kind of thought of myself as "the fat kid" and so kind of took pride in being able to eat more than other people. It wasn't really something I thought about or felt like I was doing wrong, it's just marginal eating habits coupled with the cafeteria and fast food days of college just made healthy living something that never even crossed my mind.
  • FitBy30_2014
    FitBy30_2014 Posts: 38 Member
    I have often wondered this myself. What were your parents eating habits like? I never had anything traumatic happen and had a great child hood. However, both of my parents were overweight and overeaters! I think some of the behaviors are definitely learned. That is why is is so important for me to break this cycle while my children are still young. If I fix hamburgers and french fries for dinner, my children have no other choice but to eat it which teaches them unhealthy eating habits.
    Even if you start overeating due to boredom or lonliness, that creates a "habit" that is really hard to break. I think sometimes people try to over analyze reasons why people overeat, myself included. I try to reach deep down and find out what is wrong and it's plain and simple for me: I LOVE FOOD. Now, I just have to teach myself to eat to live, not live to eat!
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,445 Member
    I dont know of anyone alive that does not have some sort of trama. It is how we deal with that trama that creates the over eatting.

    I though love to eat. I love to cook, love to eat with friends and will try most foods. I like MFP because it is improves my lifestyle with support and information socially. I want to enjoy eatting and being physically fit. This is a great website for that.

    If you want support friend me
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    I have often wondered this myself. What were your parents eating habits like?

    My parents were overweight, we definitely enjoyed our food, but it was never a problem. They weren't obese, we always ate meals together, etc. With the exception of one brother (he always had a bigger, athletic build), all the kids in my family (including me) were skinny kids. My brothers were skinny until they discovered beer :laugh: and I was skinny until about 7th grade.
  • I ate because the food was GOOD. When I got a real home-cooked meal.....I ate like it was going out of style. I mean I guess I still kind of do b/c living out on your own you live off of ravioli and hamburger helper for so long that a REAL meal is just so darn good, you can't help but over-eat. You feel like it is your last meal...LOL.

    Now that I am trying to eat healthier though I have given up the ravioli and hamburger helper, but I still enjoy a Southern style home-cooked meal though.
  • PolkaDot88
    PolkaDot88 Posts: 71 Member
    I overeat (overATE - I'm getting better!) out of boredom and because I don't have much self control - if someone offers me food, I'll down it whether I'm hungry or not. I think that part of it was out of rebellion also - when I was a teenager and I started gaining weight my mom would constantly remind me to watch what I was eating, to choose salad instead of fries, to bring a sandwich instead of going to McDonald's, so whenever I was out of the house I would do the opposite of what she said. It makes me kind of sad because my mom and I have a great relationship, I'm not sure why I felt it so important to prove that I would do what I wanted regardless of what she said, I know she was just looking out for me and now OF COURSE I wish I'd listened to her!!! I have no trauma to blame for my overeating, just my own lack of self control and addiction to food. I'm so happy I'm finally overcoming that!!!
  • TateFTW
    TateFTW Posts: 658 Member
    I'm not an emotional eater. I ate a lot in high school because not only was I a teenage male, but I was highly active in football and weightlifting. Even with all that activity I still gained a lot of weight, so when I left high school and kept eating that way I started to gain and gain. No trauma, no big changes, I just ate because it was there and that's what I was used to doing.

    I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never be the person I wanted to be. Eventually I realized that was complete crap, and In fact I really COULD make the changes I wanted to make and really become the person I had always believed I couldn't become.

    Eventually rock bottom was hit, and changes were gradually made. Changes got bigger and bigger, and results followed.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    For me, I was never overweight until my late 20s. I liked the taste of certain foods and they weren't low-calorie foods. I didn't make a point of exercising.

    For most of my life, my metabolism was my friend and it didn't matter, so I never bothered learning to eat healthy foods because I didn't have to. I wasn't stuffing myself or anything. I ate pretty normal amounts of food by quantity. It was the calories that were the problem.

    So, when my metabolism tanked, I just started gaining until I finally got tired of it and took control.

    Some people have an eating disorder that causes them to eat vast quantities of food out of boredom, sadness, happiness, whatever (emotional eating, binge eating, etc.).

    I don't have that. I just like how cookies and cheesecake and pizza taste. :-)
  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
    I overate because I was bored mostly. And honestly I enjoyed my food too much it was almost a hobby which is very sad to say. I have now decided (although I'm not sure how healthy this is honestly lol) to look at food more like oxygen, it's just something I need to consume to survive. Having more of it won't help me in any way and therefore it should only be something I take in to keep alive and nothing more.
  • That's a good question. I had a traumatic experience as a child, but I don't feel like it has anything to do with my overeating. Hmm, never thought about it before. I think I just love me some food, lol.
  • lessertess
    lessertess Posts: 855 Member
    I think part of it is education. When I was growing up there was not a lot of nutritional information available and what was known, was mostly inaccurate. Part of it is cultural. I grew up in a relatively low income southern family. That means biscuits and gravy for breakfast, lots of pasta, fried foods, etc. Some of it became emotional. I wasn't traumatized or abused and there's no tragedies in my childhood. However, birthdays were a celebration with food, a good report card was your favorite meal, etc. Eventually I developed a learned response that food equals comfort. Later, as an adult, when I was stressed or unhappy I reached for food as comfort.

    In my opinion, VERY VERY few of us are overweight because of serious trauma or abuse. I would be willing to bet that my story is pretty common.

    Now, I think that people much younger than me may have a different story. Internet, gaming and TV have created a very inactive generation. At the same time parents are often busy and fall easily into the fast food/ processed food trap. I
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    for people who gained weight when they were young, I agree with LadyPersia.

    For me, I didn't even KNOW I had a trauma in my life until I was 28, when memories of it came flooding back to me (I had mentally blocked them out). That was super freaky. But that wasn't what made me gain weight, I was of another category, I was an active athlete until I was about 25, then really stopped playing most sports and working at a sit down job, but didn't stop eating like an athlete, and after about 3 years of not exercising, eating 3500 plus crappy calories a day, and aging and leting my metabolism slow, I gained about 60 lbs. That's the other main reason for weight gain.

    There are more than just emotional and change in lifestyle, but those are really the two main ones. I wrote a whole big section on this in my book toots, so when you send me your email and I send you a copy, you can read all about it. And how to go about figuring out what your situation is. Granted my book is geared towards men, but most of the information would still be valuable to women as well (at least I hope so, that's why I want you guys to be my guinea pigs :tongue: )
  • Lisa__Michelle
    Lisa__Michelle Posts: 845 Member
    1) I believe it all starts with how you are taught to eat.
    2) I have heard from several places that the hormones and additives that are added to the foods are acting like "drugs" and making people addicted.
    3) It is in our nature to overeat because you have to remember that the body was built to survive because way back when there were no grocery stores or an abundance of food. Your body had to survive off of what it had available. Because of this, you could say that it is hard wired in our brains.
    4) I never had a serious trauma or abuse in my life and I have always struggled with weight. My parents brought the cookies, cakes, chips, etc in the house. I really believe #1 is the biggest factor, not abuse.
  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
    Food is a drug. It's warm and fuzzy and tastes good and makes us feel good. It's comfortable and something we recognize when everything else seems out of our control.
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