Just signed up! Would love to have buddies/support.

theda_bara

Hi! I just signed up for My Fitness Pal. I just turned 34 years old. It has been almost 5 years since I have been on a diet. I have been overweight my whole life and feel like I have been on every diet in the world, and when I wasn't actively dieting, I still thought about/stressed about my weight pretty much constantly. When I turned 30, I really tried to change my perspective on how I felt about myself and my weight, trying to accept myself and love myself no matter how much or how little I weighed. Honesty, for the past couple of years, I hadn't worried about it nearly as much as I had in the past. But lately, it has begun to creep up on me again. I am starting to feel that pull of not being good enough/pretty enough/thin enough to be worthy of happiness or love. It's really hard, the past 6 months of my life have been very rough for me. I've had some heartbreak and have moved to a place where I feel more alone and lonely than I have ever felt. I moved to California two and a half years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in February. Most days I wonder why I am living in LA of all places, haha! Long story short, I moved down here for a job with someone I believed to be a trustworthy friend, and 2 weeks after being here, all of that fell through, including the friendship which was very painful for me to deal with. Since then, I feel like I have been battling some depression. And when I am depressed, I tend to overeat a lot and hide myself away. It's a slippery slope! I am tired of feeling down all the time and I know that taking control of my weight again and eating well and exercising will help me on the path to feeling better about myself and life in general.

I want to lose this extra weight because, more than anything, no matter what other people think, I know that when I am feeling down on myself, I am the one who holds me back. I have fear of not being good enough, fear of being laughed at, fear of missing out on opportunities bc I am too down to make myself be social. All kinds of fears. I know that it shouldn't matter what I look like, that being a good person and treating people with love and kindness should be the only thing that matters. But that is not reality.

I want to feel good about myself. I want to look in the mirror and smile. I don't want to feel like I need to apologize for the way I look, which is how I feel right now (as crappy as that sounds).

I started a new low carb diet today, high in fruits and vegetables. I also joined a gym and did my first workout this morning. I am going to try and hit the gym before and after work every day, an hour each time. I want to kick start this weight loss and when I exercise, I feel really motivated to eat right and stick to a diet.

I would love to have some friends and support on this site.

Thanks so much!

Frappleberry

Hi

Please feel free to add me as a friend,

The hard thing about being depressed is the lack of energy and motivation which just makes you feel worse and guilty about being overweight, cruel cycle!

Just making the decision to do something positive has really helped me recently, I hope joining MFP does the same for you :-)