I weigh more than I look

JassiBear

I am 5'5 and 149lbs. At my heaviest I was 170lbs. People are always surprised when I told them my weight. I have family members that weigh less than me but wear bigger size then I. Is there really a such thing as being "big boned"? Even when I was pregnant with my son I went the first 6 months without people noticing I was pregnant. I remember going to the ER at 7 months and the doctor thinking I was 7 weeks instead. Anyway, I just think it's weird how people that weigh the same can look so different and it's making me rethink my goal weight . 130 sounds good but I think If I lost another 20lbs I'd look sickly.

I'm the same way. I got up to 170 and everyone thought I was 150 something. It's your bone structure......... some people are built to carry weight in certain areas that arent as noticeable as other areas. Some people just don't show their fat as much as others........Fat can be structured tighter or looser depending on the collagen structure underneath the skin... perhaps your fat is tighter and doesn't look as much as it actually is.

lisalsd1

Shape, frame, muscle...all has to do with it. I have ALWAYS gotten: "You weigh THAT much!" (even when I was heavier...and that was just extra fat). It's probably much better for people to think you weigh less than say to you: "I can't BELIEVE you ONLY weigh ________!"

rprussell2004

ABSOLUTELY.

Per the wrist test up there, I have almost 2cm gap between my thumb and forefinger.

The BMI pisses me off - it puts me at about 175 to be "Normal," which I am about 35lbs away from and I swear, if I wanted to ACTUALLY hit that, I'd have to chop off a leg. There's just no way, unless I want to go bulemic. I think each of my legs alone is about 70lbs.

Anyway, yeah, I get the same comments: "You weigh WHAT? NO freaking way!"

It's flattering and all, but it does throw off the ol' self-image a wee bit.

penny0919

This is what I was thinking. It isn't fair, but for women if you have more of an hourglass shape it seems more "acceptable" to be heavier.


Look at plus-size models, you would be hard-pressed to find one who carries her weight in the mid-section.

perseverance14

I have the same problem, when I started out I weighed 256 (I'm 5'6"), and now I'm down to 207. I keep telling people I want to lose another 50-ish lbs and they say 'no way, there'll be nothing left of you', but I know what I weigh!

There's a test you can do to assess your true build. Put your thumb and forefinger around your opposite wrist:

If they overlap - small build
If they meet - average build
If there's a gap - large build

This works becuase the wirsit is non-fatty area, so even if you're very overweight you will still be able to tell your build type from this test. I didn't make it up, it's from the initial 'true body weight test' from the Dukan Diet! The Dukan diet said my true weight is 168 so that's my first goal to get to, but it still sounds a little heavy so I'd still like to get to 160 at least (ideally 156 so I can Ive lost 100 lbs!).

however they do have fat on them. When i was at my highest, i couldn't get my forefinger and thumb to touch, wrapping it around my wrist. Now they overlap by an inch.

Yep, when mine was measured when I was obese, it said I was a large build, and I said no, I am not. I am actually a medium build, and now that I lost weight the measurement is correct for medium build, so your wrist can have fat.

I have always weighed more than I look like I do, and have had lots of things happen, a Doctor said to me once, no way, you weigh THAT much?

Anyway, find the healthy range for your height/frame and see where you want to set your goal within that. My range is 118-132, right now my goal is 130 but when I am 5 lbs. away I am going to re-evaluate and see if I want to lower it.

bagge72

I wonder how many people who are overweight have been told that they look like they weight less then they really do? I feel like it is a common occurrence that people do , and the same thing with age too. Oh your 34, you don't look a day over 26. Oh your 300lbs, you look like you are 260.

perseverance14

I wonder how many people who are overweight have been told that they look like they weight less then they really do? I feel like it is a common occurrence that people do , and the same thing with age too. Oh your 34, you don't look a day over 26. Oh your 300lbs, you look like you are 260.

Not in my case, I had many medical professionals either say that to me, or they would weigh me, look at the scale, look back at me, check the scale, repeat that, shake their head and write it down. In high school I weighed 120, everybody thought I weighed about 100, I was the same size as other girls who did weigh 100.

In my case I know what it is, I am more muscular than average, and muscle is more dense and takes up less space, so you weigh more but are not bigger. It is not going to make a stupendous difference, in my case it is 20 lbs., but you have to take it into consideration when setting weight goals, it would be fine if I decided to go back down to my high school weight, it would not be healthy if i wanted to go down to 100.

amusedmonkey

It's not all about being big boned. How fat is distributed makes a big difference. Some apple shaped people have more fat around the middle and almost none in the legs, so they look heavier than a person who has the same amount strategically all around the body even though they weigh the same and would need the same amount of effort to lose it. Big boobs make a difference too, and there is your genetic predisposition to having larger muscles.

neandermagnon

The wrist test isn't very good.

What gives someone a larger build (therefore more lean body mass than average for your height) is having wider shoulders, a larger rib cage and a wider pelvis. This usually goes with having larger joints, but not always.

also, most sites that explain how to measure the wrist joint do it wrong. You measure the size of the actual joint, not the fleshy part at the front of your forearm. But even if you do it this way, some people store fat on their wrists, and that completely confounds the measurement, as you're measuring the size of the joint, i.e. where the bones meet. Extra fat there =/= a larger frame size. If there's fat on your wrist joint the test will be meaningless.

It's better to go by body fat percentage. That's the best way to tell if you really do have a large frame or if you're carrying too much fat. Also look in the mirror. Bones are solid, muscle is firm when you flex, but fat is soft and jiggly.

Basing your goal weight on body fat percentage is important, because while the majority of the population will be in the "healthy" BMI range when their body fat percentage is, BMI doesn't tell you where within that range you should be. Small framed people should be in the low end of the range (with a few outliers even in the underweight range while still being totally healthy) medium framed people should be in the middle of the BMI range while large framed people should be in the higher end of the range... and some large framed people who do a lot of strength training, manual labour or other activity that results in gaining lean mass may be above the healthy BMI range while their body fat percentage is still in the healthy range.

bagge72

I wonder how many people who are overweight have been told that they look like they weight less then they really do? I feel like it is a common occurrence that people do , and the same thing with age too. Oh your 34, you don't look a day over 26. Oh your 300lbs, you look like you are 260.

Not in my case, I had many medical professionals either say that to me, or they would weigh me, look at the scale, look back at me, check the scale, repeat that, shake their head and write it down. In high school I weighed 120, everybody thought I weighed about 100, I was the same size as other girls who did weigh 100.

In my case I know what it is, I am more muscular than average, and muscle is more dense and takes up less space, so you weigh more but are not bigger. It is not going to make a stupendous difference, in my case it is 20 lbs., but you have to take it into consideration when setting weight goals, it would be fine if I decided to go back down to my high school weight, it would not be healthy if i wanted to go down to 100.

You know you have no way of knowing this right? Just because your doctor didn't think you weighed as much as you did, doesn't mean somebody at some point lied to you about what they thought you weighed. That, and I don't really think you fit into the examples I gave.

Daws387

Same here! People are always shocked. But I think it's mostly because I'm 6'2" with long limbs, short torso, and i cary most of my weight in my lower body. It's like an optical illusion lol

Jenni129

I have the same problem, when I started out I weighed 256 (I'm 5'6"), and now I'm down to 207. I keep telling people I want to lose another 50-ish lbs and they say 'no way, there'll be nothing left of you', but I know what I weigh!

There's a test you can do to assess your true build. Put your thumb and forefinger around your opposite wrist:

If they overlap - small build
If they meet - average build
If there's a gap - large build

This works becuase the wirsit is non-fatty area, so even if you're very overweight you will still be able to tell your build type from this test. I didn't make it up, it's from the initial 'true body weight test' from the Dukan Diet! The Dukan diet said my true weight is 168 so that's my first goal to get to, but it still sounds a little heavy so I'd still like to get to 160 at least (ideally 156 so I can Ive lost 100 lbs!).

Sorry, but I DO NOT AGREE with this. :laugh: All you are measuring is finger length.

lisaanne1369

last week my husband said I was too skinny and my chest caving in.....WTF!!!, I am 5-5 and weight 130! I told him I am fine! and he needs to check him self before he wrecks him self !

ReaganP13

This thread is really interesting because I can relate to the scale not matching what I see in the mirror. I am about 5'6', 5'7'' with good posture and weigh currently about 135. Perfect, right? Nope. I'm still about a size 8/10 pants, and have this weird tire of fat around my stomach, and loose arms. I weigh LESS than what I look like. I feel like in order for me to lose my mid section (I can literally grab the fat on my stomach and swing it back and forth with my hand, I would have to lose at least 15-20 pounds..... but the thought of being 115-120 pounds at my height seems really low.
I am currently doing cardio to get the fat off, but am definitely doing weights and yoga to build up muscle. I am realizing (especially when I do strengthening yoga moves) that I really have no muscle. I am weak as $**t! (pardon my language). But to the folks who weigh more and look less, you probably have more of the muscle I am longing for and less of the fat I am trying to rid. Every body and everybody is different!

harlanJEN

Body composition. On any given day you could line up 5 women who are same height and weight but they will look different sizes and wear different sizes or who wear same size, but be diff weights - however you want to look at it.

Moral of story: BMI charts are a guide. Starting point. Body composition cannot be taken into consideration with a simple height/ weight chart.

setting a goal simply using bodyweight isn't THE way to determine a healthy weight and body composition for you. When we weigh it's not just fat we are weighing - it's bone, muscle, fat, organs, water, and other body " stuffs". strong bones are dense and are heavier. That's good! Having a higher percentage of fat free mass than fat = VERY GOOD. obesity is the condition of having more fat than fat free mass. So! If one has more fat free mass than fat and weighs higher on the scale, other biometrics and general health are good AND you look and feel fabulous = EXCELLENT.

me? I have more LBM than fat, have dense bones ( which is important for all of us as we age) , wear an easy size 8 , excellent general health.and am energetic and feel awesome. HowEVAH! If I went by the BMI chart alone, I'd need to lose a lower limb to fit into Average category. best of all? I'm able to maintain pretty effortlessly @ this body comp.

So! use other parameters and goals to guide you : not just scale weight.

Rock on !

perseverance14

The wrist test isn't very good.

What gives someone a larger build (therefore more lean body mass than average for your height) is having wider shoulders, a larger rib cage and a wider pelvis. This usually goes with having larger joints, but not always.

also, most sites that explain how to measure the wrist joint do it wrong. You measure the size of the actual joint, not the fleshy part at the front of your forearm. But even if you do it this way, some people store fat on their wrists, and that completely confounds the measurement, as you're measuring the size of the joint, i.e. where the bones meet. Extra fat there =/= a larger frame size. If there's fat on your wrist joint the test will be meaningless.

It's better to go by body fat percentage. That's the best way to tell if you really do have a large frame or if you're carrying too much fat. Also look in the mirror. Bones are solid, muscle is firm when you flex, but fat is soft and jiggly.

Basing your goal weight on body fat percentage is important, because while the majority of the population will be in the "healthy" BMI range when their body fat percentage is, BMI doesn't tell you where within that range you should be. Small framed people should be in the low end of the range (with a few outliers even in the underweight range while still being totally healthy) medium framed people should be in the middle of the BMI range while large framed people should be in the higher end of the range... and some large framed people who do a lot of strength training, manual labour or other activity that results in gaining lean mass may be above the healthy BMI range while their body fat percentage is still in the healthy range.

Agreed, this is why I am paying more attention to body fat than I am to scale weight, and I do lift so I know that can make a difference. I figured why not use the strength and muscles I always had to my advantage, it is working very well.

perseverance14

I wonder how many people who are overweight have been told that they look like they weight less then they really do? I feel like it is a common occurrence that people do , and the same thing with age too. Oh your 34, you don't look a day over 26. Oh your 300lbs, you look like you are 260.

Not in my case, I had many medical professionals either say that to me, or they would weigh me, look at the scale, look back at me, check the scale, repeat that, shake their head and write it down. In high school I weighed 120, everybody thought I weighed about 100, I was the same size as other girls who did weigh 100.

In my case I know what it is, I am more muscular than average, and muscle is more dense and takes up less space, so you weigh more but are not bigger. It is not going to make a stupendous difference, in my case it is 20 lbs., but you have to take it into consideration when setting weight goals, it would be fine if I decided to go back down to my high school weight, it would not be healthy if i wanted to go down to 100.

You know you have no way of knowing this right? Just because your doctor didn't think you weighed as much as you did, doesn't mean somebody at some point lied to you about what they thought you weighed. That, and I don't really think you fit into the examples I gave.

It didn't just happen once, it has happened to me over and over my whole life, since I was a child. You seem awfully invested in being right. Frame size and muscle mass have a lot to do with how "fat" a person is perceived as being. If somebody said, oh you don't look fat, and you use that as an excuse, then you used that as an excuse. Sometimes friends say things like that not realizing they do more harm than good, or it is clouded by their perception. For example, I witnessed one obese friend tell another obese friend she was not fat once, but the fact is both of them were obese, but the more obese one thought the less obese one was not fat.

perseverance14

Body composition. On any given day you could line up 5 women who are same height and weight but they will look different sizes and wear different sizes or who wear same size, but be diff weights - however you want to look at it.

Moral of story: BMI charts are a guide. Starting point. Body composition cannot be taken into consideration with a simple height/ weight chart.

setting a goal simply using bodyweight isn't THE way to determine a healthy weight and body composition for you. When we weigh it's not just fat we are weighing - it's bone, muscle, fat, organs, water, and other body " stuffs". strong bones are dense and are heavier. That's good! Having a higher percentage of fat free mass than fat = VERY GOOD. obesity is the condition of having more fat than fat free mass. So! If one has more fat free mass than fat and weighs higher on the scale, other biometrics and general health are good AND you look and feel fabulous = EXCELLENT.

me? I have more LBM than fat, have dense bones ( which is important for all of us as we age) , wear an easy size 8 , excellent general health.and am energetic and feel awesome. HowEVAH! If I went by the BMI chart alone, I'd need to lose a lower limb to fit into Average category. best of all? I'm able to maintain pretty effortlessly @ this body comp.

So! use other parameters and goals to guide you : not just scale weight.

Rock on !

Bones could be part of it for me too, I have very strong bones, have never broken or sprained one.

Anonycatgirl

Everyone's different and you have to find a place within the healthy weight range that works for you. OP, you and I are the same height and I'm almost at my goal weight of 135, which is a lot higher than would work for some women our height. In my case, I've always been muscular--I just used to be muscular with a lot of fat over it--so even at my heaviest I was relatively compact. I'd still love to lose a few stubborn bits of fat, but the rest of me looks good and my face is getting almost too thin. (At my age, that means more wrinkles, and being slender and wrinkly is no fun either.) So I'm leaning toward recomping rather than desperately trying to lose much more.

FWIW, I'm not "big-boned" by the wrist test, but I'm hourglass-shaped, with a narrow waist, wide hip bones and decent-sized shoulders. That bone structure isn't going anywhere, and I think it works better when those hip bones aren't jutting out.

MonaLisaLianne

OP, I'm 5'5" too. Was 166.2 when I started, but I have very skinny legs, so could often disguise my big belly. Nobody knew I weighed that much and I almost had myself fooled as well. My initial goal was to get below 150 - so 149. Once I got there I could see that I needed to lose still more, so 145 became the new goal. Now I can see where the excess weight is and I believe that 138 would be pretty decent weight for me. I think 130 might look great, but at my age it's probably not realistic to think I could a) get there or b) maintain that. That said, I think you will know where you should be as you get closer to it. Good luck!