Need to vent...

jenbroussard71

My son is 17 years old, nearly 6 feet tall and weighs almost 250 pounds. He is mostly with his dad for the summer. Well my ex sends me a text this morning that he has put my son on the "Medifast" diet and proceeds to explain to me that you eat 5 - 100 calorie snacks a day and one meal that is 500 calories for a total of 1000 calories a day. Apparently both the ex and his girlfriend have lost each over 40 pounds since the first of the year and they feel like this is the way to go with my son. Following this diet seems to have aged my ex, his hair looks brittle and thin and he looks sickly.

My son is not at all active and I feel like this should have been the first issue to be address. Not slashing his calorie intake to 1000 calories. My ex is wanting to consult with me this afternoon to show me the meal plan. He said that my son started it on Monday and has already lost 3 pounds.

My first instinct is to put my foot down and tell my ex that my son is coming home for the summer. I am no expert on all of this, but I know this is not healthy for my son. My ex and I usually have a pretty good relationship for the kids. I am not sure how to handle this. My son is only with me for one day a week and every other weekend during the summer months. I will not keep him on such a restrictive diet while he is at my home. This is not something that he can maintain long term, and I feel like he is setting up my son for failure when he returns to school in the fall.

shellma00

No one should eat less than 1200 a day anyway.... this is really unhealthy. For a teenager, only getting to eat 1 actual meal and just snacks the rest of the day seems cruel to me. I have a 14 year old who could eat more than most adults, granted he is very active with football and skateboarding, but I would never restrict his eating to 1000 calories and only 1 actual meal a day. Seems excessive.

Maybe you could talk to your ex about encouraging your son to be more active, instead of limiting his food, maybe limit the time he gets to watch tv or play video games, or do whatever is not active.. Instead encourage him to go swimming (it is summer after all) OR go play basketball with his friends, OR just go outside and do something he enjoys doing. There should be no reason he could not lose weight while eating healthy and exercise. A person who is 6 ft tall and 250 lbs should be eating quite a bit more than 1000 calories just to meet their TDEE. By limiting his food intake he is going to end up having no energy and no drive.

I also think it should be his decision if he wants to lose weight, not the fathers. You cannot force him into something, because the minute you turn your head he will do what he wants to anyway.

Just my 2 cents... GOOD LUCK!!

Amanda_Gx6

Maybe you and your ex should take your son to a professional nutritionist. Screw all the back and forth arguing about perspectives. If you feel the kid is unhealthy and need to lose weight take him to a doctor/nutritionist/personal trainer.

cpettigrew

I would involve your son's doctor in this.

jenbroussard71

His doctor does think that he needs to lose weight, but he suggested high protein and becoming active. I will look into finding a nutritionist locally - that is something that could help the whole family too.

BarbieAS

Agree with seeing a primary care doc or, better yet, a registered dietitian with your son. 1,000 calories is too low for anyone, and at 17 years old and with a BMI of about 34 (I'm assuming he's got a relatively high body fat percentage and isn't overly muscular, or else this wouldn't be necessary), some weight loss would probably be good for him (I say this not as a medical professional, of course) but he certainly (IMHO) doesn't qualify as one of the most extreme cases where such a diet would be necessary (again, barring other medical conditions I don't know about and/or am not qualified to evaluate). Long story short, take the kid to a professional, have them work out an APPROPRIATE diet and exercise plan for your son for both you and his father to help him follow.

verptwerp

What does your son think about it ? And what does his doctor say ?

That's awful presumptious of your ex .......

Wouldn't want to be in your shoes, honey ....... best of luck to you !

jenbroussard71

I asked ex how my son felt about it and if he had started exercising and his exact response was " Not happy. No exercise just yet except for treadmill while playing video games." (That is the condition at his home, he must walk on the treadmill if he wants to play PS3. Which I don't know how that is possible - I can't walk on the treadmill and watch TV.)

My opinion on this is to educate him and encourage him to be more active. He is 17 and will need the nutrition information throughout his lifetime. He has been seen by a family doctor in the last 2 - 3 months. All of this blood work came back in a normal / healthy range except for his sugar. But he forgot that he was supposed to be fasting and drank some orange juice that morning. The doctor did not seem concerned about this and said that he would recheck him in a year. He did encourage him to become more active - he suggested weights because of his build. He carries his weight well and he does not look like he weighs 250. The doctor also suggested a high protein diet and to cut carbs drastically.

I haven't talked to my son yet, I will see him tonight though and we will have a talk about how he feels and which plan would be better for him.