Sleep issues

NahrasWay

I'm having some problems falling asleep and wondering if anyone has any advice or tips on how they get a good nights rest?

I am a night owl by nature but would really like to get myself to be more of a morning (or midmorning) person for no particular reason except that I WANT to be more of an awake during the day person. I have tried to go to bed earlier but always end up tossing and turning until 2 or 3 in the morning (if I try to sleep at midnight which is EARLY to sleep for me). Sometimes even that doesn't work and I'll toss and turn falling asleep off and on for hours only to wake up at 2am completely awake, will be up for awhile but then be completely exhausted all day. Sometimes I'll try to stay awake that whole day (sort of like right now) but most of the time i'll start feeling so tired that I feel sick to my stomach and will have to crash in the afternoon which throws me into a bad cycle because then I'm definitely not tired by a decent time that evening. Even when I do make it all night then all day without sleeping I won't even be tired at night until about 3-4 in the morning.

My boyfriend and I rent a room so we basically live out of our bedroom so there's no way that I can separate where I sleep from where we spend most of our time. I don't work so I am home all the time usually in our room as well. I've tried not doing anything on the computer an hour before I wanted to go to sleep, reading before hand, baths, music, warm milk, decaf tea, yoga poses before bed, exercise during the day to tire me out (those days seem to be the worst actually because even hours and hours after my legs feel restless and I toss and turn much more), and I even was desperate enough to try out the f.lux software on my laptop which doesn't seem to make any difference at all.

Anyway, I wasn't sure if this was the right forum to ask this in but I guess in a way it does affect my general diet & weight loss since my exhaustion and general tired feeling through the day has been making it hard for me to get any motivation to do activities other than sit around and sleep at odd hours. This week has been particularly bad and I have gotten no activity so far which in turn is making me feel bad and feeling down about myself and my efforts.

TLDR: Doesn't sleep well, any advice to a good nights rest?

MaggieLoo79

Have you tried over the counter stuff? ZzzQuil, melantonin, etc.? Sleeplessness can be related to anxiety/depression as well. If that might be a factor, you may want to head to the doctor's office.

thavoice

Maybe get a job so you are active doing something all day.

The times I cannot sleep are my lazy weekends when I dont do anything and just doesnt use up any of my energy.

Branstin

Herbal tea
Wine
Warm Bath
Booze
Massage
Walking

ayron102

I've made a bunch of changes in the way I 'live' - but I have a whole house, so not a lot of this applies.

However, you said ONE thing that realllllly coincides with a change I made. It may be difficult for you, but this is important.

You said: "there's no way that I can separate where I sleep from where we spend most of our time."

I found that I would watch tv before bed. Or just hang out in my bedroom because - well... I should be tired if I'm in my bedroom, right? But a while ago, someone told me: "when you're single, use your bedroom for sleeping. When you become non-single, use your bedroom for getting tired, and then sleeping" Point being, try not to use your bedroom for hanging out or other things is the point.

Now that's hard for you. But, it just takes a little effort. What if ... you went to a local library, coffee shop or something, had a decaf tea, and spent a bunch of time away. Then came back and WENT TO BED immediately. Try it for a week. See if the more time you spend AWAY from the bedroom before sleep time, the more it encourages you to treat the bedroom as its namesake. Just a thought. I know it's hard in your situation, but similar changes in my life now have made me wake up at 5:30 to 6 every morning and be sleeping by 10:30.

smn76237

What exercise do you do and when?
Is it give it your all, intense exercise, or is it more along the lines of a walk?
Is there some reason you can't leave your apartment during the day?
How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
When do you wake up?

mr_mitch

In for this one.

I'm pretty much the same (or worse) - its generally gone 4 by the time I'm asleep, and I'm very rarely awake before noon.

I've found its a whole lot worse now that I'm on summer break... But when I have to be up for lectures, etc, I'll be asleep by 2 and up by 8 when I need to be.

So basically,having something to keep you occupied in the day helps out massively!

thavoice

I've made a bunch of changes in the way I 'live' - but I have a whole house, so not a lot of this applies.

However, you said ONE thing that realllllly coincides with a change I made. It may be difficult for you, but this is important.

You said: "there's no way that I can separate where I sleep from where we spend most of our time."

I found that I would watch tv before bed. Or just hang out in my bedroom because - well... I should be tired if I'm in my bedroom, right? But a while ago, someone told me: "when you're single, use your bedroom for sleeping. When you become non-single, use your bedroom for getting tired, and then sleeping" Point being, try not to use your bedroom for hanging out or other things is the point.

Now that's hard for you. But, it just takes a little effort. What if ... you went to a local library, coffee shop or something, had a decaf tea, and spent a bunch of time away. Then came back and WENT TO BED immediately. Try it for a week. See if the more time you spend AWAY from the bedroom before sleep time, the more it encourages you to treat the bedroom as its namesake. Just a thought. I know it's hard in your situation, but similar changes in my life now have made me wake up at 5:30 to 6 every morning and be sleeping by 10:30.

You know what......I remember reading studies about that a few years ago..what you stated and how a cluttered/dirty room can lead to sleep issues as well.

I have been having sleep issues the last few months and part of my reason just may be what you are stating. I disconnected my cable/internet and just will watch dvd's in the evenings after all my work is done....but that is always inj the bedroom whereas when I had cable I watched it in the living room and THEN went to bed.

I had totally forgotten about that.

Thanks!

tracydr

Melatonin. Benedryl.
Guided Imagery or self hypnosis. ( they have sleep versions for both). I really like Belle Ruth Naperstak's guided imagery, especially her Trauma version, which it think does a great job of helping to relax and also with body image. I also have some self-hypnosis phone aps that work pretty well
White noise machine or relaxing CD of things like ocean sounds, yoga music, rain storms.
Don't exercise late in the day and practice good sleep hygiene. Have a bedtime routine that unwinds you.
There are some yoga DVDs that are for relaxation before bed that I like. Look for PM versions.
Don't eat too late and no caffeine past early AM. Don't drink alcohol or if you do, have only a single drink early evening or earlier.

WickedPineapple

I've had insomnia my entire life. I had sleep-onset insomnia (can't fall asleep) as a child/teen, now as an adult I usually have sleep maintenance insomnia (frequent waking) with occasional sleep-onset insomnia.

For sleep-onset insomnia, I would recommend the following:

-Decrease your general daily anxiety/cut out stressors (whatever you can). Anxiety and depression will majorly affect sleep.
-Make your diet healthier (I got the worst RLS when I was eating really badly). Research which foods are worst for sleep and which are best and modify your diet/eating times accordingly.
-Make sure your room is cool, quiet, and dark. Identify anything that bugs you. I sleep with a fan on as white noise as keeps the room cool, but not blowing directly on me because it'll blow my hair on my face which tickles.
-Get comfy, seasonally appropriate pajamas and sheets (i.e., don't use flannel in the summer!).
-Invest in a good pillow. I have an isocool sidesleeper pillow that I love to death. It feels cool when I first lay down, it'll warm up as the night goes on, but I don't wake up with sweaty hair anymore in the summer.
-Meditate. This works best for me because it relaxes both body and mind. Learn to breath slow and deep and keep your mind from racing (this definitely takes practice).
-Melatonin: There is a very narrow window you can fall asleep with melatonin, so lay down immediately after taking it. I stopped taking it because it gave me nightmares.
-Magnesium
-If you're twisting/turning/have RLS for > 30 minutes, get up and do something. Do dishes, pay some bills, read, anything not overtaxing (keep lights dim). Then as soon as you feel tired at all, lay back down. The longer you lay there, the more frustrated you get.

Moosello

Eye masks are great! We aren't really supposed to get as much ambient light as we do sleeping, and if your phone is by your bed and that blinky light is going off, that might be causing an issue. Black out shades are also a good investment if you find out the sleeping mask helps.

I'm also an advocate for white noise. It drowns out other things that your brain might be trying to process. I don't have a white noise machine, but a fan works really well.

NahrasWay

Thanks for all the answers, I appreciate the help!

I know I should have something to do during the day to get me out of our room but it's just not possible right now. If I could get a job I would it would help on so many levels (mentally, money issues etc) but the job market where I live is pretty bad. Been here 3 years and have had only a couple temp jobs. My bf works here and if we could afford to move to a place with a better job market we would but we just can't right now.

What if ... you went to a local library, coffee shop or something, had a decaf tea, and spent a bunch of time away. Then came back and WENT TO BED immediately.

I don't have a way to go somewhere before bed as my bf works nights so he always has the car until about 10ish, by then most places are closed around us. However just sitting outside to drink a tea or something might be something I could try out. Thanks for the idea!

What exercise do you do and when?
Is it give it your all, intense exercise, or is it more along the lines of a walk?
Is there some reason you can't leave your apartment during the day?
How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
When do you wake up?

I've only been changing my lifestyle for the last month. The first couple of weeks were me changing the way I eat. I struggle with trying to be less lazy still so 'exercise' has been very intermittent .. usually whenever I finally get some motivation or energy to go for a walk. We've done a few big walks (couple of hours each) and it wasn't for exercise purpose just to get out and do some activity and make it seem less like exercise and more of us just trying to be more active. There is no reason I can't leave the house during the day I just can't go very far because I don't have a car so if I go anywhere it has to be walking distance and at my weight long walks at an intense pace is quite painful and can make me sore for days after which is why we've been doing easy long walks. When I do fall asleep I usually always sleep at least 8 hours minimum but usually never past 10 hours depending on how my mood was when I slept (like feeling depressed), so it depends on when I get up to when I go to sleep but for the last week it has usually been between 11am-2pm.

For sleep-onset insomnia, I would recommend the following:

Thanks for all of the things you listed! A few of those really hit it on the head, especially the RLS one. I always just try to wait it out but you are right it makes it so much more frustrating. I will definitely try to get up and do something next time and will be trying out some of your other suggestions!

Eye masks are great!

I wear one at night because as I've said before my BF works nights so he's usually up on the computer when i attempt to sleep. He turns a desk light on next to him and turns off the room light and I wear the mask to make it as dark as I can and he wears headset for whatever he's doing. I always have a fan going as well cause I'm just a naturally warm person and I have to be cool to sleep so I'm used to the fan noise by now. As for the brain processing thing I do find my mind going a mile a minute sometimes when I attempt to sleep and I know at times that has been one of the reasons to keep me up, I'm just not sure how you .. stop thinking? lol sounds weird. Thanks!

monolith66

Melatonin, 5 mgs daily (or as needed, It's fairly strong the residuals of one dose can carry you over to the next nights sleep).
You will have an incredible deep REM sleep and wake up reset and refreshed.

allbarrett

I second (or third?) the job idea. You said the job market is bad but can you volunteer somewhere? That is still working, just not for pay, and it also tends to look good on a resume...just thinking of future job hunting. It gets you out of the house/room, doing something useful/challenging. Opportunities may exist at soup kitchens, homeless shelters, animal shelters, libraries, community recreation centres and an abundance of other places (so, depends somewhat on your city/town).

Join a club (book club, bridge club, music, whatever you enjoy). Gets new friends (always good anyway), and again out of the house and fills in hobbies.

Take a class (online, community college, university, etc.). Good for getting out of the house, again looks great on the resume and frankly it can be a lot of fun (I used to take cooking classes, I went back to school for a 1 year certificate at one point, whatever strikes your fancy). There are inexpensive or free online courses offered (and some schools publish all course notes, etc. so you can learn on your own...you don't get the credit but you do get the skills).

Exercise. Money can be tight but lots of sports are free or virtually so (tennis and badminton in the park, walking or running,

So, those are the "get out of the room" things. Next up, sleeping:

Try to go to bed around the same time every night. Blackout curtains are a person's best friend. White noise (fan, white noise generator, even very quiet music...whatever works for you and the boyfriend). Set a bedtime routine, that you follow as often as possible (every night if you can), anything that works for you (tea, reading, warm bath, whatever). Watch your caffeine intake, don't eat right before bed. I've seen recommendations not to do "screen things" (TV, computer, etc.) right before bed. Don't know if I buy that, but hey, we're just tossing ideas around here.

Best of luck!

RodaRose

It might be easier to get on your boyfriend's sleep schedule. Sleep when he does and be awake when he is awake.

Alternatively, get some sunshine. Go outside and let the sun's rays help reset your body's hormone's to a day / night schedule.

janatarnhem

Lots of great advice here! I have sleep problems periodically - medication side effects for me , usually! As well as all the above tips, when I wake in the early hours and I'm tossing and turning, If I think of anything I have to do / remember for the next day, I keep a notepad and pen by my bed. By writing it down, I can forget it and nod back off!

inneedofanap

It might be easier to get on your boyfriend's sleep schedule. Sleep when he does and be awake when he is awake.

thavoice

I call BS on the job thing.

You can ALWAYS find a place that is hiring. Just may not be the job you want at the time, or the pay, but it easier to get a job WHEN you already have a job so go get one, and then if you want a better one continue to look.