Negla-ments

kelzz193

We've all been on the receiving end of a few negative compliments in our lives....I have been receiving them so often lately that I actually feel the need vent about what I call the "neglament".

At least daily I run into somebody who says, "wow I didn't recognize you, you look so different". Normally it's followed by you look great, how'd you do it, etc.---- all AWESOME to hear! I thank them for their comments and bounce down the street like Tigger and feel great that all my hard work is paying off.

I work at a large teaching hosptial with over 12,000 employees and I've been there 7 years so I know a lot of people. Lately I've been getting this after the you look so "different"....."it's must be just so easy for you" or "you're more motivated than most people" or "well I hope you are not trying to lose anymore you would look sick" or my favorite just this morning "you must just lose weight faster than most people"!!!!!!!

What do you say to these comments? I want to scream at them! I have been working my *kitten* off, literally, not figuratively for the last 2 years. It has taken sweat, dedication and constant monitoring of everything that goes into my mouth. Not to mention sacrifice of time, energy, & money to make myself healthy again. There is no magic wand to be waived! I have no secret advice to give out about getting healthy!

What I am sure of is the following:
1) It takes me the same 3,500 calories burned to lose a pound as everybody else.
2) I don't lose weight any faster than is MEDICALLY possible....if I did I would never have been overweight in the first place & would already be at my goal weight which is still 12 pounds away.
3) If you want something you have to get off your *kitten* and make it happen, it didn't happen by chance that I lost 87 pounds! There is no weight loss LOTTO to win people!
4) It is NOT easy for me. I work full time, I commute 1 hour to work each way, I have a husband, two little kids ages 4 & 2, and a house that all require my attention, yet some how I make it work...but it is NOT EASY!
5) I get the same 24 hours in the day that everybody else does, I just make better choices about what I do with that time.
6) You have no idea what I weigh so it's not ok to tell me wether or not I need to lose more weight.
7) I am no more motivated than anyone else. I dread the alarm going off at 4:45am, but ya know what? I drag my *kitten* out of bed 90% of the time and exercise so that I can be healthy & happy.

It really goes back to the golden rules we all learned in Kindergarden, be kind, share, and if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all! I know from now on I will only dole out the positive compliments; because really anything else is just a dressed up way to say you are a mean jealous person!

Kristy1214

Here, here!

With all this "getting healthy" I've also tried to get mentally healthy too and stop all the negitivity. I don't feed into the gossip at work about other people, (I'm nto sayign I don't listen to it, but I don't fuel the flame), I try hard to not say bad things about people, and I am workign hard on the pay it forward method...and it's paying off, Isleep better at night and overall am a happier person I like it.

doggiemomma

All I can say to that is AMEN. You have hit the nail on the proverbial head. Thank you.

monstertwelve

i get these too!


but my favorite is...

mean person: are you okay?
me: yes
mean person: are you sure? you're not sick?
me: no...why?
mean person: you look sick.
me: i do????
mean person: yeah...are you anorexic ?
me: what??? no and um...thanks?????

WTF! how do you respond to that??!!!!

haha :P

toots99

What I am sure of is the following:
1) It takes me the same 3,500 calories burned to lose a pound as everybody else.
2) I don't lose weight any faster than is MEDICALLY possible....if I did I would never have been overweight in the first place & would already be at my goal weight which is still 12 pounds away.
3) If you want something you have to get off your *kitten* and make it happen, it didn't happen by chance that I lost 87 pounds! There is no weight loss LOTTO to win people!
4) It is NOT easy for me. I work full time, I commute 1 hour to work each way, I have a husband, two little kids ages 4 & 2, and a house that all require my attention, yet some how I make it work...but it is NOT EASY!
5) I get the same 24 hours in the day that everybody else does, I just make better choices about what I do with that time.
6) You have no idea what I weigh so it's not ok to tell me wether or not I need to lose more weight.
7) I am no more motivated than anyone else. I dread the alarm going off at 4:45am, but ya know what? I drag my *kitten* out of bed 90% of the time and exercise so that I can be healthy & happy.

Amen!

UpToAnyCool

There is no magic wand to be waived!

It really goes back to the golden rules we all learned in Kindergarden, be kind, share, and if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all! I know from now on I will only dole out the positive compliments; because really anything else is just a dressed up way to say you are a mean jealous person!

First of all - great job on all your hard work :flowerforyou: !
Not to justify other people's rude behavoir, but people that say stuff like that are all about themselves.
They are totally projecting when they say stuff like that. And while they should think about what they are saying, these weird 'back-handed negla-ments' are probably all about how THEY should get off their *kitten*, THEY should wake up early to plan their meals and get exercise, THEY should get healthy too. You know - they're jealous.

They know you have a full and busy life and I'll bet when they see that you are doing so well, they feel guilty that they are still sitting around on the couch with ice cream and have not decided to make a change.

In any case, feeling :explode: is totally justified.
But you can also :laugh: it off and say: Yeah, it's kind of like having a whole other full-time job!!

ginnyroxx

dammit! what am I going to do w/ this useless lotto ticket now?

major props to you for your hard work & dedication. You have every reason to be proud