ADD/AADD/Asperger's/Autism

AsaThorsWoman

My boyfriend is "furious" at me because it rained last night and his car leaked rain on his weight sets. He said it's my fault because I triggered his ADD. He said "Don't you dare try to blame this on me when you triggered my ADD." I didn't touch his car, go near his car, open or close any doors or the trunk. I love him and don't want to be argumentative about a volatile situation, but I can't allow him to set a precedent that when random suckie things happen he can blame me because I triggered his ADD. Any advice from people who've dealt with ADD or what is actually AADD and Asperger's/Autism?

:sad:

leericle

Suggest that he man up, get a towel, and dry off his weight sets. The world's going to push back on him every day, might as well develop better coping mechanisms. Either that or he's going to hurt the ones he loves, and he's going to hurt himself with increased blood pressure, damage to his arteries and heart, and other physical complications related to being in "fight" mode.

It rains on a lot of people, and each one chooses a reaction: anger, fury, sadness, crying, despair, laughter, eye rolls, whatever. He can continue to make the decision to be angry, but he should know that the consequences include a frightened woman and a damaged relationship.

jacques57

IN our family of six (see photos), four are diagnosed ADD. They are on meds and meet with a shrink regularly. Some go to counseling.

ADD and other forms of mental illness are not crutches for an angry or volatile person to use as an external reason or trigger for their outbursts or mood swings.

If someone you know or love exhibits symptoms they should be evaluated by a professional. If they in fact have ADD or some other condition (that is really difficult to nail down), then the process to learn to manage that process is lifelong and difficult, but it is WAY better than going untreated.

skippygirlsmom

You can't "trigger" ADHD or any of the alphabet letters you mentioned. I have ADHD and can't imagine what he's thinking saying such a thing. He is obviously uninformed about ADHD and needs to listen to jacques and get help.

eschwab4

My son has Autism and he does things like turn off and on lights, close and open doors. I know he does have a bit of OCD, because he has to have everything in order from smallest to largest and also very repetitive. I have times where I seem to forget if I had locked the doors, so I go and check.

Autk79

Umm Im 35 and have ADD and have been dianosed since I was 11. Never in my right mind would I think its ok to blame anyone or anything on my ADD but myself. That is nutts.

dbmata

Triggered his ADD? Attention Deficit Disorder has nothing to do with being a jackwagon.

ADD/ADHD is different Asperger's and Autism.

He's an a-hole most likely, and knows he has you figured out that he can use his made up affliction to treat you as poorly as he wants.

nitrospop

ADD/ADHD is a behavioral problem that often times is fixed with strict boundaries and an attitude adjustment. Worked for me, works for my son, no meds necessary.

darkrose20

http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/ADHD Fact Sheet.pdf

This should help. Enjoy your irrational significant other who blames you for his mental illness and then blames his mental illness for his irational behavior. Sounds fun.

Phoenix__Rising

Idk .. I have ADD bad .. best thing for ppl like me is give them something for them
to get hooked on .. or they will go bonkers!! True story. :huh:

randomtai

:huh: :laugh:

PinkyFett

ADD and autism is totally different... so I'm not sure of the correlation here.

Sounds like hubs is being a penis face.

naturesfempower

Just ditch him before you spend your life walking on egg shells trying not to make him "furious." Been there, done that, doesn't work.

amwbox

ADD and autism is totally different... so I'm not sure of the correlation here.

Sounds like hubs is being a penis face.

This. Totally unrelated. Also...you can't "trigger" ADD.

pleasepleaseno

Wait what does that story have to do with autism?...Tell your guy to figure out what he has.

Crateria_

That doesn't sound like anything to do with "Attention Deficit Disorder". Sounds like this man has no idea what he's talking about. He, however, should go see a psychiatrist and find the real root of the issue which is causing his anger.

rowlandsw

It just sounds like he used mental illness for a reason to be a jerk but it sounds like he has anger issues.

lisatrish

It's the Asperger's and ADD combination at work! The real culprit is the Asperger's which can trigger anger/blaming of others for their issues. Know that he doesn't mean what he says in anger he just doesn't know how to express his emotions and will lash out at the first person in sight! Usually they will be apologetic once they have calmed down and realize what they have done. Remember they respond on impulse and without a filter when upset - sometimes it's just best to walk away until the anger has subsided. You will not be able to talk to him until later when the moment has passed and the anger is gone - that's the condition not that he doesn't love you or care about you. If you explain to him how you feel and be specific he will probably try in the future not to do this but no guarantees. Friend request me if you'd like for support. My 16 son year has Aspergers & ADHD.