YOU have control

Francl27

There's a little thing to keep in mind... Life can suck. You lose loved ones, your job is a mess, you have a nasty divorce, your kids drive you nuts, your husband/boyfriend keeps bringing in sweets... It's very easy to use those as excuses. I've done it. I'd wager that most of us have done it.

But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control. Everything might fall apart around you, but what you eat and how you exercise is one thing you can control. Don't let it go to waste... and just think of how great you'll feel in 6 months or one year to have succeeded in doing just this one thing for yourself.

Heartisalonelyhunter

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

tpt1950

Pretty bad!

Francl27

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

Of course not. I've been through all of those. But it's all things that people use as excuses to overeat.

Heartisalonelyhunter

Oh, I misunderstood. So while you were losing your 80lb you dealt with the death of a loved one, a nasty divorce (which generally means divorce involving kids), a stressful job situation plus the other ridiculous things you mentioned in the same sentence (which are everyday, petty frustrations and like I said, not comparable)? Wow. If you have gone through all that and still logged all your food I guess you were justified in posting this.

caitology

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

I never got the impression that she implied all of the above referenced situations were of equal importance. She just made a list of excuses people use to not eat well or exercise, not in any particular order. She also never implied that all were happening at once. I applaud you for putting words in her mouth though. /eyeroll

Biggirllittledreams

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

Of course not. I've been through all of those. But it's all things that people use as excuses to overeat.

I've never heard that as an excuse before. I've heard parties and indulgent restaurants as excuses, not things of the above nature. If people are eating because of the above, that would be emotional eating, not over-eating. Two very different things.

Also, being through something does not mean you are able to speak on behalf of other people's experiences. Maybe you were able to cope with the above circumstances, but some people find themselves struggling with emotional eating when they face a lot of stress, which is not an excuse. It's an illness/mal-adaptive coping mechanism, just like alcoholism is.

But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control.

I'm pretty sure this mentality is the start of disordered eating habits for many. Just saying.

angiez93

Whoa, y'all need to stop stirring the damn pot. It's a bit annoying really, to turn a positive/thought provoking post into something negative.

Anyway. I love this - and I was just thinking about it today. When things feel most out of control I am so grateful to at least be able to control myself. In all ways not just diet and fitness, but my attitude and actions as well. Thank you for posting!

cheripugh1

There's a little thing to keep in mind... Life can suck. You lose loved ones, your job is a mess, you have a nasty divorce, your kids drive you nuts, your husband/boyfriend keeps bringing in sweets... It's very easy to use those as excuses. I've done it. I'd wager that most of us have done it.

But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control. Everything might fall apart around you, but what you eat and how you exercise is one thing you can control. Don't let it go to waste... and just think of how great you'll feel in 6 months or one year to have succeeded in doing just this one thing for yourself.

I actually understand what you are saying, or trying to say! You are correct all of those things together or apart can cause you to overeat I've read 1000 comments by overweight/obese people as to how those type of life ordeals have been their excuse. I appreciate what you are trying to say here and I agree, many times I have seen people say "I was forced to eat..." B.S! YOU control YOUR body it is the only thing you can control, or at least attempt to control and develop good habits.

holly1283

I'm taking a different stance here. I congratulate you for your loss. However, when a person is dealing with a medication change that affects your mental health YOU do NOT always have control. Eventhough you know in your brain that eating is not the answer sometimes it just isn't strong enough to not emotionally eat. I swim over 3 miles a week plus other exercise which are the only things that keep me sane but it does not stop that overwhelming urge to feel better and sometimes the taste of good food helps.

Heartisalonelyhunter

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

I never got the impression that she implied all of the above referenced situations were of equal importance. She just made a list of excuses people use to not eat well or exercise, not in any particular order. She also never implied that all were happening at once. I applaud you for putting words in her mouth though. /eyeroll

Thanks for the eye roll. But I think someone posting a 'you have control' thread using extrene examples is ridiculous. I have read some of of OP's previous posts and am pretty sure she hasn't recently suffered a bereavement or a divorce. Mostly she posts about being mad that she can't eat what she likes at The Cheesecake Factory...Big issues.
But hey, I eye roll you back for your 'impression' and white knighting of a person with no ability to think before she posts.

tequila09

OP- I agree completely!

holly1283

Tequila what give you the right to be rude at someone else's opinion. Your immaturity was showing in your childish language.

getitamb

You guys are touchy. Maybe she could have presented it better to some, butits the thought that counts. If yall still wanna make excuses go ahead. But man, yall are sensitive.

caitology

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

I never got the impression that she implied all of the above referenced situations were of equal importance. She just made a list of excuses people use to not eat well or exercise, not in any particular order. She also never implied that all were happening at once. I applaud you for putting words in her mouth though. /eyeroll

Thanks for the eye roll. But I think someone posting a 'you have control' thread using extrene examples is ridiculous. I have read some of of OP's previous posts and am pretty sure she hasn't recently suffered a bereavement or a divorce. Mostly she posts about being mad that she can't eat what she likes at The Cheesecake Factory...Big issues.
But hey, I eye roll you back for your 'impression' and white knighting of a person with no ability to think before she posts.

I haven't read any of her previous posts, nor do I care to. My focus was you twisting her statement and attacking her for something she didn't imply. But go ahead, continue being an asshat.

caitology

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

I never got the impression that she implied all of the above referenced situations were of equal importance. She just made a list of excuses people use to not eat well or exercise, not in any particular order. She also never implied that all were happening at once. I applaud you for putting words in her mouth though. /eyeroll

Thanks for the eye roll. But I think someone posting a 'you have control' thread using extrene examples is ridiculous. I have read some of of OP's previous posts and am pretty sure she hasn't recently suffered a bereavement or a divorce. Mostly she posts about being mad that she can't eat what she likes at The Cheesecake Factory...Big issues.
But hey, I eye roll you back for your 'impression' and white knighting of a person with no ability to think before she posts.

I haven't read any of her previous posts, nor do I care to. My focus was you twisting her statement and attacking her for something she didn't imply. But go ahead, continue being an asshat.

Wow. Are you old enough to be on this forum? I don't really care to engage with people like you, but next time you lose a loved one, or go through a divorce, let's see what you say when some Internet idiot tells you its no excuse for eating too much. And compares it to every day occurences. Clearly you are both a pair of lovely, emotive women. You should meet up.

That's the best you've got? Please, take a look in a mirror. Using food for comfort is a huge reason a lot of people, including myself, are even on MFP. I'm familiar with using unfortunate events and even daily occurrences as excuses to overeat, which is how I initially got to 290 lbs. Part of growing up and being responsible for your body is learning that you don't need to comfort yourself with food when things go poorly. She could've worded the original post in a better way, but her point wasn't a bad one.

Unknown

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tedrickp

I think the OP makes a great point, and I can't even fathom people getting upset about it.

I think it is important to remember that even as our lives seemingly spin out of control, we are still in control of ourselves (outside of legit mental illness) and should try to keep that in mind.

jkal1979

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

Of course not. I've been through all of those. But it's all things that people use as excuses to overeat.

I completely get where you are coming from. We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.

My husband passed away five years ago and in a short amount of time I put on 36 pounds. It was a combination of emotional eating and making excuses. My biggest excuse was that I hated cooking for myself so it was a lot easier to stop at McDonald's on the way home from work.

Francl27

Oh wow. Try to post something supportive and you even get bashed for that. Jeeze. Some people on these forums just have no life (and like stalking me apparently). I mean, even less of a life than me I guess :laugh:

Fiercely_Me

Wow..no good deed goes unpunished..

AllOutof_Bubblegum

OP, this was an excellent point, and you are completely right. You are ALWAYS in control of what goes in your mouth. If someone here can tell me they've ever been force-fed chili fries at gunpoint, I will offer a sincere apology. Otherwise, people getting after you are just upset that you shed light on their inability to take up accountability and self-control. A stinging conscience will always bring out the offence in people. :flowerforyou:

ihad

I find this post incredibly crass. A loved one dying, or even a nasty divorce, are not equal to kids being annoying or a husband who brings home sweets. Think before you post.

I never got the impression that she implied all of the above referenced situations were of equal importance. She just made a list of excuses people use to not eat well or exercise, not in any particular order. She also never implied that all were happening at once. I applaud you for putting words in her mouth though. /eyeroll

Thanks for the eye roll. But I think someone posting a 'you have control' thread using extrene examples is ridiculous. I have read some of of OP's previous posts and am pretty sure she hasn't recently suffered a bereavement or a divorce. Mostly she posts about being mad that she can't eat what she likes at The Cheesecake Factory...Big issues.
But hey, I eye roll you back for your 'impression' and white knighting of a person with no ability to think before she posts.

I haven't read any of her previous posts, nor do I care to. My focus was you twisting her statement and attacking her for something she didn't imply. But go ahead, continue being an asshat.

Wow. Are you old enough to be on this forum? I don't really care to engage with people like you, but next time you lose a loved one, or go through a divorce, let's see what you say when some Internet idiot tells you its no excuse for eating too much. And compares it to every day occurences. Clearly you are both a pair of lovely, emotive women. You should meet up.

If you are being serious, you are overreacting.

OP's point is clear - there are some things you can't control, big or small, and some things you can. Diet and exercise are two areas we have a lot more control over than others.

krawhitham

*eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.

JoshuaL86

OP makes an excellent point! If all you make are excuses, all you will ever have are excuses, doesn't matter how legit those excuses are.

tequila09

Tequila what give you the right to be rude at someone else's opinion. Your immaturity was showing in your childish language.

Funny how you're doing the same thing.

I stand by what I said. Goodbye!

AllonsYtotheTardis

*eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.

wait... so, your employer told you what you had to eat, and force fed it to you? And you didn't go to the police?

DavPul

Oh wow. Try to post something supportive and you even get bashed for that. Jeeze. Some people on these forums just have no life (and like stalking me apparently). I mean, even less of a life than me I guess :laugh:

don't worry about it. 6 months from now you'll feel great

IlluminatedMayhem

I don't feel like Googling at the moment but I once read a study that said some in some morbidly obese people, the self control center in the brain is by passed when it comes to food. And many morbidly obese people have lost the ability to know when they are full. Many morbidly obese people have an eating disorder.

Yes, control can be regained but it is a huge struggle and requires addressing mental issues as well as diet and exercise.

So, no, not everyone is ALWAYS in control.

Also, to the previous poster, if my mom caught one of us eating something she didn't want us to, she would sit and make us eat the entire package. The biggest for me was when she made me eat an almost full package of 60 sandwich cookies. If we were too slow or gagged, she would beat us. This went on until I was 17. No, it wasn't gunpoint but it was pretty close and it didn't lead to a healthy relationship with food either.


ETA: The OP was right for most people though.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

*eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.

Jobs are required by law to allow X time for X number of hours worked per shift. If you'd stood up to them and demanded a lunch break, legally they would have had to concede, with no threat to you of losing your job because of it. The fact that you didn't was your choice.

Guess what else? That job was optional. Nobody was forcing you to remain employed there. So you are STILL always in control. ("But! But! But! It was the only job I could get/nobody else was hiring/excuses excuses, etc etc!", right?) You are always in control. Even people (adults, at least) in abusive situations have the power to leave. There are enough government assistance programs out there that that is a pretty weak-sauce excuse, as well. If you want something badly enough, you can make it happen. Always.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I don't feel like Googling at the moment but I once read a study that said some in some morbidly obese people, the self control center in the brain is by passed when it comes to food. And many morbidly obese people have lost the ability to know when they are full. Many morbidly obese people have an eating disorder.

Yes, control can be regained but it is a huge struggle and requires addressing mental issues as well as diet and exercise.

So, no, not everyone is ALWAYS in control.

Also, to the previous poster, if my mom caught one of us eating something she didn't want us to, she would sit and make us eat the entire package. The biggest for me was when she made me eat an almost full package of 60 sandwich cookies. If we were too slow or gagged, she would beat us. This went on until I was 17. No, it wasn't gunpoint but it was pretty close and it didn't lead to a healthy relationship with food either.


ETA: The OP was right for most people though.

I am sorry you had to grow up like that. But you were children when that happened, as since this is an 18+ site, we are all adults out from under the thumb of Mommy and Daddy and are able to make our own choices. Once you are on your own, you now have the control to self-regulate, as hard as it can be sometimes.

And yes you are right, there are people with hypothyroidism or defective satiety centers in the brain, but those people are still capable of regulating their food and eating at a deficit. I'm not saying no excuse is legitimate, but I AM saying there is a way around every excuse, and yes I do mean EVERY excuse. It's just a question of how hard you're willing to fight for it.