How do you know when "you're there"?

kpchefai
kpchefai Posts: 54 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How does everyone decide what their goal weight will be? Is it reaching a previous weight? A recommended weight? Just waiting till you feel right? When you start getting closer(let's say within 10-15lbs of what you think it is) is it better to set an actual goal or just wait it out?

I started at 196 lbs and am now at 171. My original goal weight was 150. I am about 5'6. I can BARELY tell that I have lost any weight when I look at casual pictures of myself but the scale doesn't lie. I see a difference in comparison photos, mainly in my stomach. I am trying to think back to when I was at a weight I truly felt great at. Pretty much never but a lot of it will come from weights and strength training as well.

I was 5'6 and 128lbs in 6th grade. It seems silly to think my goal weight would be the same as my weight in 6th grade but I was pretty much a giant growing up until everyone caught up with me. Looking back I had an "ideal" body but of course at age 12 I was more embarrassed of it than anything else haha
«1

Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    How does everyone decide what their goal weight will be? Is it reaching a previous weight? A recommended weight? Just waiting till you feel right? When you start getting closer(let's say within 10-15lbs of what you think it is) is it better to set an actual goal or just wait it out?

    For me, reaching a previous weight has been the usual way that I set goals. I am now about 15-20 lb from where I'd like to be and I keep trying to set my "final goal" and then changing my mind and going slightly lower.
    I was 5'6 and 128lbs in 6th grade. It seems silly to think my goal weight would be the same as my weight in 6th grade but I was pretty much a giant growing up until everyone caught up with me. Looking back I had an "ideal" body but of course at age 12 I was more embarrassed of it than anything else haha

    That's how I was too. I was 5'6" and around 130 in 4th grade and then by 7th-8th grade I was my full height of 5'8" and 170-180 lb which is exactly where I am now at 37, and feeling very happy with my size currently (especially since 5 years ago I weighed 300). I think for those of us who reached an "adult size" early, it's not so weird to aim for that weight we were as young teens. JMHO!
  • ejane24
    ejane24 Posts: 7
    I can remember always being self conscious about my weight, but now looking back I shouldn't have been before of my body shape and height. In 7th grade I was 130-ish lbs. I'd like to get to about 140 now.
  • earlybrd7
    earlybrd7 Posts: 56 Member
    I based it off what my consistent weight was when I was in my early-mid twenties before I started to gain, but if I'm 5 lbs over that then I'd still be satisfied.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    I've decided I'll be there when I can look in the mirror and say yep, that's the best I can do with what I've got.
  • michelle_816
    michelle_816 Posts: 621 Member
    OP, we are quite similar in our stats and journey!

    My goal weight at the moment is 145 and I am 5'5 (well, 5'4 3/4" :grumble: - I'm shrinking). I have come within 10 lbs of that weight back in 2011. And while I liked myself then, I did want to lose another 10 or so lbs and tone more. 145 is the high end of healthy for my height, but it is also where I was at when I wrapped up college. And other than being less toned that I would have liked, I was happy with myself at that weight!

    Once I get to that number, I do plan to reevaluate! I have no desire to get down to my high school weight (126 when I graduated), but I want to feel comfortable and have it be a weight I can maintain for life!

    Good luck to you and feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like support on the rest of your journey here!
  • dammitjanet0161
    dammitjanet0161 Posts: 319 Member
    I think for those of us who reached an "adult size" early, it's not so weird to aim for that weight we were as young teens. JMHO!

    Good point - I was already 5'8" at age 11 when I went up to secondary school, and I was in adult UK size 12-14 clothes. I towered over not only most of the other kids but also most of the female teachers! I'm 5'10" and aiming to go down a dress size to get back to that sort of size.
  • caimay175
    caimay175 Posts: 42
    I lost a ton of weight about two years ago by eating VERY low calorie (for me, anyway - 1200 a day) and lots of exercise. I was hungry all the time. I was trying to fit into a specific dress that I LOVE and is a UK size 10. I was probably about 7lbs away from it fitting properly. I looked good back then, at around 175lbs. Not perfect, but good.

    Many times since then I've thought to myself, "when I can get into that dress, I'm done." Incidentally, 7lbs down from 175lbs would put me just in the healthy weight range for my height. So, that's my initial aim. From there, I'll decide on another goal perhaps, but I definitely will be 'normal' and so it will take the pressure off. :)

    I think, to echo what others have said, it's about finding a place where you feel your best.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    Pretty sure there is a sign hanging on a wooden post; or someone re-directing me from Pearly Gates and telling me I need to go to a warmer climate.
  • ashgirl95
    ashgirl95 Posts: 48
    I never had a "previous weight" to aspire to get back to, as I've been overweight my whole life. However, the way I set my goal weight (for now) was by using a BMI calculator and using a weight for my height that equals a healthy BMI. My goals might change when I get there, but for now that's how I set them.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    My younger daughter weighed 112.4 pounds when I decided to lose weight, so I decided to lose 112.4 pounds. That will give me room to add 20 pounds of muscle or so.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I really don't care about some arbitrary number on the scale, I care about my body composition and BF%. My goal weight is simply based on what calculators have told me I should be at for my goal BF% so long as I don't lose much in the way of muscle mass.
  • mzbek24
    mzbek24 Posts: 436 Member
    The specialist I saw for my PCOS in 2012 told me to try and get down to 65kg, and so that has always been the goal since I've never reached it. But since I have been told I'm free of any signs of it, I think now really I'm just going to see how it looks. If I feel it is looking where I want to be with the help of my strength training before I reach that 65kg, that's fine with me.
    I'm already I think at the same height and weight I was at 12/13 y.o, so you're not alone. It does feel a little weird to me lol...some people were tiny at that age and here was me, 5'9" and around a womens size 10-12 Australian, and I think it would be a 6-8 in the US (had to google lol)
  • kluvit
    kluvit Posts: 435 Member
    My recommendation is setting a goal that's worth keeping! I think many of us fail to maintain because we don't lose enough to truly feel like it's worth keeping. I say go for the lower end of "normal/healthy" range for your height/frame because at that goal, you're likely to be proud of your body and will fight with everything you have to keep it.

    I'm 5'7" and started at 155 with an original goal weight of 128, but when I got there, my body did not look the same at 40-something as it did at 20-something at the same weight, so I kept going. When I got to 119, I was a little too thin and gained a few back to settle at 122 which is perfect for me. I can still find clothes that fit, and they look great on me. Keeping them is great motivation for me to maintain. Now my goal is to stay between 120 and 125, so I never have to gain or lose more than a few pounds, and so far I've managed to do so for almost 2 years.

    Best wishes on your journey...
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    When I have all the gainz
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    I think for me is when I look at myself in the mirror and I am satisfied and happy. When the bikini looks great on me. When I go clothes shopping and I am happy with the size and how everything looks on me. When my mentality is no longer "ugh you need to lose some weight. Ugh your still fat. Ugh Ugh Ugh!" lol

    I was small size 4-6 in high school and now I am a size 10. I really do not care as my body is starting to look better at the weight I am. I even increased my weight goal. Now that I don't care about the weight so much, I can just focus on working hard at this and being happy with the way my body looks vs the scale and numbers!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I'll know I am where I need to be with fitness when I have met some other goals in my life, until then, there is no end, only obsession.
  • jeannemarie333
    jeannemarie333 Posts: 214 Member
    I am 5 6' also and have usually weighed between 131-140, then when I gained alot weight my doctor told me that 170 would be great. That's my goal - good luck with yours :bigsmile: it is a tough question because as we age our muscle mass changes and bone structure shifts, it really depends on how you feel and if added weight is impacting your health. For me, right now it is and I am working hard to reduce the poundage and get healthy.
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    I know I’m there when I’m no longer here.
    I think I’ll know I’m there when I’m happy with the body I see in the mirror. I say the body and not the man I see, because I’m quite happy with the man I see in the mirror already just not the chucky monkey I see. You have to be at peace with the internal you before you can ever be at peace with the external you. Savvy?
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
    I know I’m there when I’m no longer here.
    I think I’ll know I’m there when I’m happy with the body I see in the mirror. I say the body and not the man I see, because I’m quite happy with the man I see in the mirror already just not the chucky monkey I see. You have to be at peace with the internal you before you can ever be at peace with the external you. Savvy?

    I think I love you. That's such an eloquent summation. Learning to love yourself is harder in many ways than losing a few pounds, or maybe even a few hundred pounds, but it has to be part of this journey if the hard work of getting thinner is to do much good in the long run.
  • Tracey_B_72
    Tracey_B_72 Posts: 1,021 Member
    I'm 5'6 and I'm currently 144 lbs, my original goal was 154 but as I got closer to it my goal changed to 147 and I stayed there for about 6months quite happy but then I wanted to try and get to 140, it's been the hardest lbs to lose so I reckon 140-144 might end up being the bracket I want to stay in. I'm pretty happy with my shape right now, just would like the wobbly bits toned but I'll get there.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    I set a goal as a guesstimate of what my weight will be when I attain the level of fitness I want and then I work towards that fitness. My ultimate judge is:

    A) How I look
    B) How I feel
    C) What my strength/fitness level is

    If I get to my goal weight and I haven't satisfied A,B and C then I'm not done. This might mean I need to put on a few pounds of muscle or it might mean I need to continue losing weight in the form of fat or it might mean I need to step up my cardio or lifting to attain the fitness level I want to achieve.

    If you don't ever tie your goal to something noticeable like your appearance or your fitness but instead remain focused on something arbitrary like scale-weight I feel like you do yourself a huge disservice.
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    I know I’m there when I’m no longer here.
    I think I’ll know I’m there when I’m happy with the body I see in the mirror. I say the body and not the man I see, because I’m quite happy with the man I see in the mirror already just not the chucky monkey I see. You have to be at peace with the internal you before you can ever be at peace with the external you. Savvy?

    I think I love you. That's such an eloquent summation. Learning to love yourself is harder in many ways than losing a few pounds, or maybe even a few hundred pounds, but it has to be part of this journey if the hard work of getting thinner is to do much good in the long run.

    :blushing:
  • sjebert
    sjebert Posts: 212 Member
    I set my goal weight to where I felt physically my best and my strongest. It may not be where the experts think I should be, but it is where I know I want to be.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    When you realize that you'll never arrive, that's when you'll know you've arrived.

    (I'm really not trying to sound like a pretentious *kitten*, but that was the easiest way to say it.)
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    When I had first set out to lose weight when I was overweight, I knew I had gotten to "that point" when I looked at pictures of myself at a birthday celebration. I hadn't looked that good...probably ever.

    After having my baby and needing to lose weight again, I'm not quite sure when that end goal will be met. I've set the bar quite a bit higher this time, and I'll never quit working on being better. With that said, I am quite happy with how I look now. Good body image and self-pride doesn't come from weight loss.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    When you realize that you'll never arrive, that's when you'll know you've arrived.

    (I'm really not trying to sound like a pretentious *kitten*, but that was the easiest way to say it.)

    Yeah actually I agree with this. Health and fitness is a lifetime thing. Soon as you think of it as accomplishing a goal and then being "done" is the line where you start sliding back into bad habits and gaining back the fat and losing your fitness gains.
  • PhilosopherHCS
    PhilosopherHCS Posts: 7 Member
    You're never "there." There's always something to work on, whether it be fat loss, muscle gain, strength gain, running speed, etc.. That's why you should be content with where you are now, yet plan to improve yourself for the future.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I'm 5'6". I was 115 when I graduated from high school and that was so thin for me. I didn't really get any curves until toward the end of college and I think I was 127 by that point and then in my 20s I was in the mid 130s and felt good. I'm at 161 right now, with a tentative goal of 150. I actually like how I look except for the fat roll around my middle right now and I feel like it is going to take at least another 10-15 pounds to be rid of that but who knows since I can't just tell my body to get rid of that one section. I have more muscle now than I did in my 20s and would like to keep/add to it so I don't see myself getting back to the 130s. So overall, I feel like I'll know I'm there when I get there and not any sooner.
  • dlkingsbury
    dlkingsbury Posts: 90 Member
    i've been wondering this, too. i chose a goal weight that i've been at in the last 4-5 yrs (although not through the healthiest methods). It would also put me at the top of the healthy BMI level and I don't think it will be insanely difficult to maintain. But, I'm wondering if maybe I should lose another 5-10 after that... I figure I've reevaluate when I hit goal.

Categories