letting go off the past and moving forward

lozlaquinn

Hi there my name is Laura I am 28 years old and I live in Bradford England with my Husband of 6 years and our lovable tabby cat Fatty who we adopted last year. So today would of been my baby's 1st birthday and I am still heart broken there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what might have been. The same is with thr twins in august it would of been there 2nd birthday. Losing 3 babies in one year nearly killed me and nearly ruined my marriage. 19th August 2012 23rd june 2013 marks the dates of the birthdays of the babies I never got to bring home. As a outcome of these horrific loses I now suffer from social anxiety, server depression, panic attacks, compulsive disorder, low self esteem, low confidence, high blood pressure and the main one obesity. I tried to run away from my problems with food. It was my biggest comfort through my biggest heartbreak. For two years now I have been stuck in limbo and I couldn't move forward. 28th june 2014 marks the first day of the rest of my life. In memory or my little angels I'm going to get my life back on track. All bad food will be thrown away. Today a juicer and vitamins where ordered. Hubby brought a fitbit and for the first time in forever we are going to be doing this journey together. I will always live knowing of the pain and sorrow of losing 3 precious lifes but I need to start living my life in order to start again for a family and be able to move forward without it being so painful. I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel and I am so excited at what life has in store for me

I would love some friends for help encouragement and support I need to lose around 100lbs and I know its going to be hard. But I am in the right frame of mind to start this journey and get my life back xx

shireeniebeanie

Thank you for sharing--what a heartbreaking story.

The good thing is recognizing when you've hit rock bottom so you can start climbing back up. Taking good care of yourselves and living well to honor your babies is a wonderful idea.

Have you sought counseling?

KatieSvelte

Awww sweetie, I am sorry to hear about you losses!! I suffered 2 miscarrigaes before my Jedi. I know what it is like to have unsupportive family too. We can be friends if you like, God bless you!

LosingItInDenver

Laura, I'm so sorry for your losses. I can sympathize, having been there myself. Taking care of your health and well-being is a lovely means of remembrance.

Best of luck in your journey.