ageing parental units

bmiller211
bmiller211 Posts: 222 Member
in Motivation and Support
went to a cook-out at my parents house yesterday and was amazed at their inability to do much of anything...They are both 82 and my father was always a bull, now he can barely lift a glass to his lips, he has started to take falls 2 in the last few months and this last left him bloody and with a black eye! My mother used to be sharp as a tack and now she couldn't even tell me how many people were going to be there. We are getting to the point where they won't be able to care for themselves much longer but they are so independent it will be impossible to convince them assisted living is the right thing for them. Just needed to vent a little...life is tough!!!

Replies

  • kk_140
    kk_140 Posts: 518 Member
    It is tough. My grandfather is 90 and we're dealing with a similar issue. How do you bring up the option of assisted living without offending them? And is there even a good way to tell someone you love that they can no longer live independently? It is hard.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    For me, that will be the toughest part of this circle of life. I'll do it gladly, but that...that is when you feel life's pull will only go so far before you are not long for this world.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    My mom works with older people. She's a nurse & she does private home care too. She says that older people don't want to go to assisted living places because when something happens that the facility's medical staff cannot handle (fall,out of control BG's etc.) they send you to the hospital.

    She goes on to say, that many people don't come back from the hospital because the assisted living facilities often refuse them. They have no other choice but to stay in the hospital where they rapidly decline.

    I used to think these stories from older folks were a bunch of hooey but now I'm not so sure.

    My mom can be difficult so I'm for sure not looking forward to having to make decisions like this. However, we've decided we will do what we have to do, to move them in with us & get home health aides to help us care for them.

    This of course is easy for me to say at 46, while my mom is 66...I feel for ya :ohwell:

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