Doing it because I have to NOT because I want to

canisiusgirl12

Ive been overweight my whole life. I came out over 10lbs. I grew up on eating out, my mother doesnt cook and now that Im grown I find it more convenient that taking a cooking class and learning myself. But at 24 years of age my knees and back hurt, I cant stand or walk far without being in pain and I get out of breathe very quickly. Ive fantasized all my life about working out, eating clean, being smaller, feeling better (I spend hours on-line looking a motivational quotes, healthy recipes, gym memberships, and stomach exercises), but Ive never done anything about it. Well, Ive tried Weight Watchers, Cutting Carbs, Joining a gym, but I never stick with it. It is always short-lived.
Just recently, I made a commitment to join a gym, work with a trainer, shop smart, cook, drink water (which I hate!), pack snacks, and be active. Im two weeks in and its a moment by moment struggle, forcing myself top make better choices, crying through workouts, eating things that dont taste good but are better for me...all because I know I HAVE TO not because I WANT TO

What do you do when this is how it is?

Meerataila

Set a short term goal with a non-food reward and work toward that whenever the big picture seems too far away.

And the second you hit that goal, set another one and start working toward that.

amberxy

You've changed a lot of things in your life very quickly. Like Meerata said, can you pick ONE thing to focus on changing/improving, then add in the next after you feel comfortable with the first change? If you're crying during workouts, forget exercise for the moment, focus on your nutrition and just go for a gentle walk or a swim, something you feel you can stand. From my own experience, going from zero to 100 so quickly doesn't work, and I just set myself up for the inevitable failure and the consequent restart. Take it easy on yourself. As a side note, I try to stay away from things like motivational websites and looking at pictures of women with fantastic bodies etc, because it makes me depressed. Just saying xo

kimothy38

You're giving yourself any chance of success if you hate it so much. Start small, like drinking more water each day, then progress with food and add in exercise down the track. Celebrate the small successes, eg drinking 6 glasses of water today, and build on that. Take a look at Precision Nutrition website - it has lots of articles and there's a really good one how about tiny changes all adds up but it's done incrementally which hugely improves your chances at success. Best of luck.

beautifulwarrior18

Well, itsounds like you are taking the right steps. You have grown up eating toxic waste so of course all those cravings mke garbage taste good and real food taste awful. You have to give yourself time to retrain your tastebuds and soon you'll think soda and water are too sweet and McDonalds is too salty. It just takes time. You didn't get to this point in a day. Your back and knees will thank you for sticking with it.

Julieelliott12

If you don't like water, try Mio's they can help you get started with getting more in and then you can reduce down.. or you can add natural flavorings like lime and mint, cucumbers.. etc

And I agree.. starting with a giant goal is a tough hurdle.. try a few smaller ones that will add up to the big one. Loosing 5lb sounds a lot easier than 50, right?

Wookinpanub

I have been a yo yo dieter/exerciser for years. Finally a switch went off this March and I became really motivated. Still going strong after 3+ months which is a first for me. You just need that switch to go off.

Madelinec117

I agree with the other replies. Start slowly and work your way up. Find healthy foods you like and build menus around. It's impossible to stick with a diet if you hate the food. One of the things suggested to me since I have a lot of weight to use (suggested by a Dr) is to start exercising with water aerobics or stationary bikes. Remember, if you are moving, you are improving - so even if it is starting with just a short amount of time, it will gradually add up as you build yourself back up.

canisiusgirl12

Great idea! Thanks

canisiusgirl12

Thanks for the advice!

minibandit

I don't really have advice, I just wanted to wish you the strength you need to become the person you want to be x

salvationsdying

Start small. Eat things you like but try making it at home. Look up ways to cook things online, or have a friend help you learn how to cook. Ease fruits and veggies in, add fruits to your water, add some flavor. Stop going to the gym and hating what your doing. Instead walk around the block. Take the stairs when you can. Park a block away from the place your going. Park at the far end of the parking lot. Go to the mall and go in every store. Put music on and dance your heart out. Anything that gets blood pumping and your heart rate up burns more calories then sitting on the couch. Small changes add up. But most of all don't let the scale get you down! You can do it! Add me if you'd like! I post on my feed almost daily and I comment to! If you ever need to vent ill listen! Good luck, remember its small changes one step at a time!

ninerbuff

Habits take time to change. People are creatures of habit, so changing habits can be very challenging for some and easier for others.
Key is to be consistent. Habits are easier to change as long as you stay consistent.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

canisiusgirl12

I don't really have advice, I just wanted to wish you the strength you need to become the person you want to be x
[/quote

Really kind of you, Thank you!

melimomTARDIS

sounds like a lot of really big changes in a small space. Try to only make changes you are comfortable keeping up for the rest of your life.

for example, I will count calories forever, and walk as excersize a few days a week, forever. I will not eat food I HATE forever. So small portions and a focus on lighter fare does wonders for me.

But I still eat velveeta slices, ramen, white bread, diet soda, white rice/pasta, use margerine, and all that other stuff that is terrible. LOL. my portions are right sized, so i can and do eat pizza/tacos/whatever i want.

and my saturated fat, and overall fat intake, is low. that is because of a medical condition, but my food tends to be less dense as a result.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

Got news for you, compadre: MOST of us do it because we have to, not because we want to.

There has not been one single time when my alarm went off at 4:45 am that I leaped out of bed, eyes aglow with excitement and anticipation of killing it at the gym. Never. It usually involed quite a lot of cranky fists in the eye and muttered "dear gawd whhhhyyyyy is it morning already?"

But I do it because it's the only way to get me to my goals. Plain and simple. It's the same as having a job. I'm sure everyone here who's not a millionaire would rather they go to work because they want to, not because they'd get evicted if they didn't. But hey-life. It's a b!tch. :flowerforyou:

DAM5412

You are doing the right thing for yourself. Take it one step at a time, small goals, small achievements. They will add up and you will get better at it.

TheGirlWhoWaitedToRun

Along with what everyone else is saying...Find healthier versions of the foods you do like. This has helped me sooo much. I can still have burgers, pizzas and nachos but with half the calories/fat if i make it at home and am paying attention to what's in them and how many calories are in them.

Another thing is that I get on mfp every day and look at other people's success stories and rants and advice. It really is motivating to see that what you are trying to accomplish has already been done by people in similar or worse situations than you or me. Idk how big people on this site are on reddit, but www.reddit.com/r/loseit has some of the best people.

EDIT: And congrats on taking the first steps to a healthier, happier you!

Squidgeypaws007

You don't HAVE to do anything.

Try and change the way you speak to yourself. You're doing it because you want to be pain free and live a healthier life.

You don't HAVE to lose weight, you want to to improve your life.

If you keep telling yourself you don't want to do it, you have to do it etc you'll just come to resent everything.

I know it just sounds like semantics but the way you speak to yourself is important. Just try it for a couple of days - fake it if you have to. You know what they say, fake it till you make it! If you still feel exactly the same way I'll eat my keyboard

You've got this, you can totally do it - just have some faith in yourself! Good luck :flowerforyou:

AyaRowan

I agree with another reply, to stop saying that you "have to." The most important thing you can do is realize that you really do "want to". When deciding whether you want to do it or not, don't look at the methods to decide that, look at the potential results.

The reason I'm telling you this is that I started losing weight for many of the same reasons. I was overweight my entire life, grew up in a household filled with junk food, didn't know the first thing about healthy eating. As an overweight female, I had low self-esteem that made me think that I couldn't do it. I'd never make it. Things would never change. It felt hopeless.

I was 318lb at my highest weight at age 21. I lost down to 290lb after some medical issues. Then at age 26 my weight was creeping back up and was at 303lb again. That's when my "switch" went off. What was the switch? For me, as with you, it was my knees. I'd sit down doing nothing for so long that when I stood up, my knees would feel stiff and creaky. I'd feel like a 60 year old in a 26 year old's body. And I realized it wouldn't get better over time. I'd just feel older and older if I didn't change. And what about when you actually do get old? If you feel 60 at 26, how old would you feel when you really are 60? If you even lived that long with such an unhealthy lifestyle.

Anyway, do you "want" to exercise? No, heck even I don't want to do that. Do you "want" to spend the time to count calories? I don't want to do that either, but I've done it long enough to lose 72lb though I've got 86lb more to lose or so.

Do you "want" to feel better? .....you do, don't you? Or you wouldn't have tried to start in the first place.

Do you "want" to be healthy and able to do and go whatever you want? .....you do, right?

Do you "want" to be able to climb a staircase without dragging yourself upwards by the railing and huffing and puffing? I assume that one's a yes as well.

What about the "want" to live a longer life and stop assuming you'll die of a heart attack by age 40 (not sure if you do this, but I sure did)? Another strong yes, I assume.

The things we want are often accompanied by a few extras that we don't want. The world can't be so kind and convenient as to just hand over the things we want without putting effort into them. Most people don't book a trip to Europe because they'll enjoy being crammed in a tight airplane seat next to three screaming triplets on a plane for hours, right? They do it because they've deemed it worth the trouble to get what they really do want, which is fun in Europe.

And as for food that both tastes good and is healthy, there are plenty of options out there that are both. I don't know what level your cooking is at, whether it's just microwave everything or put it on a pan for the oven. What about making the boxes of macaroni and cheese? If so you know how to make pasta. Can you scramble eggs?

You don't have to take a cooking class in order to learn to cook. As long as you have common sense, follow a recipe and check the food to make sure there's no burning or other issues, then cooking is fairly easy. Tons of stuff you just mix together. For instance, spray a small pan lightly with cooking spray, put in some AllWhites egg whites, a little jarred salsa, and a bit of low fat cheese and mix it around until it looks like scrambled eggs. You end up with a tasty scramble that's not full of cholesterol and over your calories.

It may take some getting used to if you're cutting out a lot of fat and sugar so fast, but you adjust eventually. The foods you eat aren't supposed to taste horrible, if they do either you loved junk food more than I ever did or you're just picking foods your taste buds hate. Experiment with other healthy foods, veggies, and fruits to discover the ones you enjoy or at least don't hate. Because forcing yourself to eat something you can't enjoy at all means you probably won't be sticking with it long.

As for the water, there's really no way around it. I was the same way, drank soda constantly until health issues made me stop. I couldn't stand water either at first, unless I was overheated or dehydrated. My favorite drink now is lemon water, I get a big glass of water and squeeze the juice of half a lemon in it with a dash of powdered cayenne pepper. I love tart things though, don't know if you do or not. You could always mix in some truvia or monkfruit for some sweetness without calories. I also occasionally get the packets of Crystal Light Pure, the ones with stevia instead of aspartame or sucralose. My favorite flavor is strawberry kiwi.

Anyway, sorry to make such a long post in your thread. I wish you luck, and just remember if you think you can do it then you can! Don't let anybody, especially not that tiny voice in the back of your mind (don't know if you have one of those, but I sure do), tell you that you can't do it!