I'm in an abusive relationship.

segastler

This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

― Audrey Hepburn

badcemom

Amen!

160x144

he sounds like a ****.

verptwerp

Yup, it's frowned upon to kill them, so just leave them & don't backpeddle.

Best of luck to you ..... and stay safe :drinker:

roanokejoe49

Edited!

emelisaperez

I can relate! You are not alone!

BigT555

alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

reddz12

I loved this.... thank you for posting.. I can absolutely relate.. I've taken the steps but reminding yourself of things like this helps from time to time!Good Luck!

ThinLizzie0802

I think some posters think you are referring to a man, when you are in fact referring to your own negative outlook. You've stated you have a supportive and complimentary husband. Reading comprehension, folks.

Congrats, and I love your outlook!

PRMinx

Good. Get OUT of there. No one can make you feel bad without your permission.

ucandoitmfp

Good point - I don't let others treat me that way but I've never really stopped and thought about the way I talk and behave towards myself. This is a tough one.

carfanman

alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

Reading comprehension has gone to crap...

endermako

alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

^^^ Yup a lot of people didnt get it. They probably did the TL;DR thing

MissSarahAllison315

Good point - I don't let others treat me that way but I've never really stopped and thought about the way I talk and behave towards myself. This is a tough one.

AMEN.

EmilyJackCO

Thank you for a bit of a wake-up call. As someone who spent decades in abusive relationships, I never applied it to the mirror.... how right you are, my dear. You just helped a stranger on a path to healing even more. *hug*

sunitar292

Thank you for making my Tuesday! (wipes tear away from eye)

DBoone85

Cuz sounds like a total douche. You'll be well shod of him. Next time, when some *kitten* disrespects you, show them the door. You're too cool to take crap from some worthless dude.

Dude, do you even reading comprehension?

PRMinx

alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

^^^ Yup a lot of people didnt get it. They probably did the TL;DR thing

Yep this, sorry OP!

motivatedmartha

This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

― Audrey Hepburn

Most of us are also our own worst enemies - well done for recognising that and for vowing to be kinder to yourself. Yep - listen to your fantastic hubby - your child adores you and wants you to be around a long time, so yes, live healthily, eat sensibly, exercise to keep yourself fit and active and MOST of all enjoy doing stuff with them and enjoy life

Thank you for the reminder
:flowerforyou:

TX_Rhon

Good for you!!! BTW - you look amazing :flowerforyou:

Admittedly, I too am my own worst critic!! Maybe I need to brake u with me as well!

flannery2012

I think some posters think you are referring to a man, when you are in fact referring to your own negative outlook. You've stated you have a supportive and complimentary husband. Reading comprehension, folks.

Congrats, and I love your outlook!

I was wondering if I was the only one who heard what OP was really saying.
Great post--loved it

ninerbuff

My best advice: DON'T LOOK BACK.

People really don't change and if you sense they are being nice to you to help "keep" you around.............it's a scam.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Losing_Sarah

alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

Yes, I got it because I read the whole post. I wonder if people just read the first paragraph and assumed it was a man.

OP - Congrats on realizing you need to love yourself! That alone will make you a healthier person! You are awesome and don't forget that!

FitCurves444

Good for you!

I love a happy ending! :flowerforyou:

RavenLibra

It's all about learning to forgive yourself... and deciding to settle for what you deserve. THE KEY is to understand that YOU are always a work in progress, the minute you stop moving forward is the minute you start settling for less than you deserve. I would like to contratulate the OP for her insight... I think she definitely has gotten it.. and I think thart is her point.. her "AHA moment.

I know for me it too was about seeing within me a cycle of abuse... I would go out and drink too much, or eat too much... or something too much.. so that I could sit and loathe myself for days... for weeks... then I would start all over again...

in fact I think I began a new cycle just like a few days ago... currently pondering taking a week away from work outs and dieting... for what reason? I have no idea.

CindyMarcuzAdams

Well said. I am in the same type of relationship... its time I broke it off.☆★☆★☆

Charloo1990

Can completely relate to this. I've been being a lot kinder to myself these past few months cause it's sucks hating yourself all the time. I've felt a lot more positive since changing my outlook and I try look for things I like about myself rather than dislike but then I do have the occasional times like today where I feel crappy about myself but trying not to let it get me down.

1princesswarrior

Fantastic post.

867Jen5309

love it!

knitapeace

I was JUST writing about this on my feed today. I look back on the number of times I made a joking reference about my "giant *kitten*" or my "big fat belly" and hated myself just a little bit more for it. Yes, I was overweight. But from this vantage point I look back and LOVE myself as I was then. I wasn't any less of a hard worker or loving wife or caring mom a year ago. And if I can love who I was then, I can love myself now even though I'm not where I want to be fitness-wise quite yet.

And when you love yourself more I think you find a well of caring within yourself that you can share with others more easily.

Meerataila

I got where this was going, but it's still an awesome post! I'm sick of picking at myself, too. If I don't have my back, who will?