Maintaining, sort of...wish this was easier.

SharonCMach

So I'v been maintaining pretty well since reaching my goal weight last year. But it's getting harder & harder for me that Im stressing out way to much about my weight. I think about food & my weight 24/7, I know this is not healthy and it's starting to really weigh in on my mental health. My problem is my appetite, I love food and can eat a pretty good amount before I'm full. I know what foods are healthy & good for me and pretty much stick to that 85-90% of the time. But at times I will over-indulge, usually this happens on the weekend, and then the water weight packs on. I'll go from 107 to 113-115 in a matter of days. I feel bloated & fat then. This really stresses me out, causing me to restrict my food, exercise more & other stuff. I exercise everyday of the week, sometimes twice a day until my weight is back down between 105-108. I hate this cycle that I'm in. I know I really need to speak with a psychiatrist about these issues, but we have none in our area. I'v spoke with my doctor about this, in hopes that she would give me something to help me stop obsessing about food & my weight. She suggested I see a specialist & then hesitantly started me on a low dose of Prozac. It didn't help, just made me think about it more so I stopped taking it. I wish she would just put me on something that would suppress my appetite, then I wouldn't be thinking about food & my weight as much.

Not sure what good it does me writing this, guess I just needed to vent. Is their anybody else having these same issues with obsessing about food & weight gain? What do you do to stay sane & maintain?

kdiamond

Do you lift weights? You might be happier getting on a good weights program and you'll find that a) you can eat more and still maintain and b) you start realizing that your body is strong and powerful and instead of focusing so much on the scale you can focus more on your fitness level and the way your body looks and feels.

I too went though the same stuff you are going through years ago, I got down to 100-105 pounds and would freak if the scale went above that, leading to restricting. Nowadays I don't weigh myself, and I don't care! I'm around 112 last time I checked, and my clothes still fit great (if not better than before) and I focus on eating for nutrition and my work outs.

I'll tell you, it's a freeing feeling!!

Sabine_Stroehm

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Francl27

I'd be totally miserable trying to maintain so low. I'm 5'5" too and maintaining my 130-135 lbs is going to be hard enough.

MagnumBurrito

Do you lift weights? You might be happier getting on a good weights program and you'll find that a) you can eat more and still maintain and b) you start realizing that your body is strong and powerful and instead of focusing so much on the scale you can focus more on your fitness level and the way your body looks and feels.

I too went though the same stuff you are going through years ago, I got down to 100-105 pounds and would freak if the scale went above that, leading to restricting. Nowadays I don't weigh myself, and I don't care! I'm around 112 last time I checked, and my clothes still fit great (if not better than before) and I focus on eating for nutrition and my work outs.

I'll tell you, it's a freeing feeling!!

Agreed. Start training. It's not monotonous. You'll create aesthetic and strength goals. You get to eat more and go through cycles of eating.

One of the best decisions I've made.

SharonCMach

Do you lift weights? You might be happier getting on a good weights program and you'll find that a) you can eat more and still maintain and b) you start realizing that your body is strong and powerful and instead of focusing so much on the scale you can focus more on your fitness level and the way your body looks and feels.

I too went though the same stuff you are going through years ago, I got down to 100-105 pounds and would freak if the scale went above that, leading to restricting. Nowadays I don't weigh myself, and I don't care! I'm around 112 last time I checked, and my clothes still fit great (if not better than before) and I focus on eating for nutrition and my work outs.

I'll tell you, it's a freeing feeling!!

I do lift weights occasionally, but when I over indulge I go back into cardio mode to get rid of the extra water weight it caused. I really hate how I look & feel bloated any time I eat a little more than usual. I have a short torso so any added weight, whether its water or fat makes me feel & look bigger in my stomach. Im just tired of stressing about it all the time. I will try to add in more weight lifting again.

Thanks

SharonCMach

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

SharonCMach

I'd be totally miserable trying to maintain so low. I'm 5'5" too and maintaining my 130-135 lbs is going to be hard enough.

It is miserable in a way, but I want to maintain a size 0 so it's what I do to feel comfortable with my body image.

SharonCMach

Do you lift weights? You might be happier getting on a good weights program and you'll find that a) you can eat more and still maintain and b) you start realizing that your body is strong and powerful and instead of focusing so much on the scale you can focus more on your fitness level and the way your body looks and feels.

I too went though the same stuff you are going through years ago, I got down to 100-105 pounds and would freak if the scale went above that, leading to restricting. Nowadays I don't weigh myself, and I don't care! I'm around 112 last time I checked, and my clothes still fit great (if not better than before) and I focus on eating for nutrition and my work outs.

I'll tell you, it's a freeing feeling!!

Agreed. Start training. It's not monotonous. You'll create aesthetic and strength goals. You get to eat more and go through cycles of eating.

One of the best decisions I've made.

I agree too, love the way my body looks when I lift weights. Especially my arms, love how toned they become. Sometimes it's just hard for me to get out of cardio mode when extra weight shows up.

Sabine_Stroehm

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

Well, best of luck. I stand by my concern that your weight will be hard to maintain when it's 20ish pounds less than what it probably wants to be. But again, best of luck.

redmagpie91

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

Well, best of luck. I stand by my concern that your weight will be hard to maintain when it's 20ish pounds less than what it probably wants to be. But again, best of luck.

A woman who is 5'5" should be 115 at the least to be healthy. Your goal is unrealistic if you want maintain and be underweight. I'm extremely surprised your doctor didn't mention this. Also, a gain of about 5-8 lbs shouldn't put you up a size if you really weight lift. There are women who actually gained 10lbs, but lost a pant size because of weight lifting. is being a size 1-2 really that big of a deal?

SharonCMach

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

Well, best of luck. I stand by my concern that your weight will be hard to maintain when it's 20ish pounds less than what it probably wants to be. But again, best of luck.

A woman who is 5'5" should be 115 at the least to be healthy. Your goal is unrealistic if you want maintain and be underweight. I'm extremely surprised your doctor didn't mention this. Also, a gain of about 5-8 lbs shouldn't put you up a size if you really weight lift. There are women who actually gained 10lbs, but lost a pant size because of weight lifting. is being a size 1-2 really that big of a deal?

When going to the doctor I always wear clothes that put me well into the healthy weight range, I don't disclose my true weight to my doctor. Then she would really dismiss my concerns about weight gain. The extra water weight I put on from my occasional over eating does not cause my clothes to not fit. I just don't feel or look as thin as I want. Maintaining at 105-110 I believe is the best range for my body. I have a small frame and any weight gain shows right away.

WinoGelato

I concur with all of the above about not making a weight or clothing size (especially such a low one for your height) the focus and instead focus on weight training. It also looks like you have your goal set at 1200 cal/day, which seems exceptionally low for maintenance.

Maintenance should be a time to relax a little and not be so obsessive about the numbers... it also is a range - fluctuation of +/-5 lbs within maintenance range is normal.

gothchiq

See if you can get referred to a nutritionist instead. They can help you develop a plan to deal with this.

Collier78

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

Well, best of luck. I stand by my concern that your weight will be hard to maintain when it's 20ish pounds less than what it probably wants to be. But again, best of luck.

A woman who is 5'5" should be 115 at the least to be healthy. Your goal is unrealistic if you want maintain and be underweight. I'm extremely surprised your doctor didn't mention this. Also, a gain of about 5-8 lbs shouldn't put you up a size if you really weight lift. There are women who actually gained 10lbs, but lost a pant size because of weight lifting. is being a size 1-2 really that big of a deal?

When going to the doctor I always wear clothes that put me well into the healthy weight range, I don't disclose my true weight to my doctor. Then she would really dismiss my concerns about weight gain. The extra water weight I put on from my occasional over eating does not cause my clothes to not fit. I just don't feel or look as thin as I want. Maintaining at 105-110 I believe is the best range for my body. I have a small frame and any weight gain shows right away.

You should ask to speak with a mental healthy professional. Hiding your true weight from your doctor because he/she says you are healthy and shouldn't worry about tells me you need a counselor, not an appetite suppressor. Best of luck.

jwooley13

I just went through the past two weeks in your diary, and it looks like you're netting under 1000 calories most days. I'm assuming that you overate by a good margin on days that you didn't log. This kind of behaviour, combined with what you describe as "obsessing" may be pointing to a problem with your perception of yourself rather than your weight. I highly advise seeing a therapist if at all possible, as theses types of behaviors tend to lead people down the road to disordered eating. Your current weight is underweight for your height, and your body is trying to tell you that.

Congrats on all the success that you've had! Don't let this undo all of it! Considering eating at your maintenance calories and using strength training to recomp. You may gain pounds, but your overall body shape will be much firmer and stronger. You won't blow up like a balloon, I promise.

likehemingway

It sounds like you have a pretty good case of food anxiety. If you're 5'5", and only weigh 105, that is very small. It's also really scary that you try to hide your weight from your doctor, that should be an alarm to you. I know it is hard to do, but you have to stop worrying so much about food, and working out. If you said so yourself you think about it 24/7, thats not a very enjoyable life, it starts to feel like you're a prisoner to food, and it shouldn't be like that. Also, weighing yourself all the time isn't going to help either. You need to accept the fact that 1. First and foremost, your weight is going to fluctuate daily +/- 5lbs or so, because you are human and you need to eat, and 2. you are female, and we have dumb sh*tty hormones that can cause our weight to go up with water (notice how I say water, which is temporary!) willy nilly, anytime of the month, because that is how we are built. It sucks, I know. I am trying to lose the last 6-ish pounds and I often find myself getting stuck in this train of thought too, but then I have to remind myself its not worth stressing myself out ALLLLL the time, and I'm not enjoying anything. So *kitten* it, put the scale away, eat healthy things and work out because you like it and it makes you feel good, not because you think you need to be a slave to cardio to work off water weight caused by a cheeseburger or something of the like. So, real talk, chill out girl because we are all in this with you.

SharonCMach

I just went through the past two weeks in your diary, and it looks like you're netting under 1000 calories most days. I'm assuming that you overate by a good margin on days that you didn't log. This kind of behaviour, combined with what you describe as "obsessing" may be pointing to a problem with your perception of yourself rather than your weight. I highly advise seeing a therapist if at all possible, as theses types of behaviors tend to lead people down the road to disordered eating. Your current weight is underweight for your height, and your body is trying to tell you that.

Congrats on all the success that you've had! Don't let this undo all of it! Considering eating at your maintenance calories and using strength training to recomp. You may gain pounds, but your overall body shape will be much firmer and stronger. You won't blow up like a balloon, I promise.

Yeah on the days I didn't log or complete my food diary usually means I ate something hard to log or over ate. Example, Saturaday me & my husband ate at China Buffet.

SharonCMach

It sounds like you have a pretty good case of food anxiety. If you're 5'5", and only weigh 105, that is very small. It's also really scary that you try to hide your weight from your doctor, that should be an alarm to you. I know it is hard to do, but you have to stop worrying so much about food, and working out. If you said so yourself you think about it 24/7, thats not a very enjoyable life, it starts to feel like you're a prisoner to food, and it shouldn't be like that. Also, weighing yourself all the time isn't going to help either. You need to accept the fact that 1. First and foremost, your weight is going to fluctuate daily +/- 5lbs or so, because you are human and you need to eat, and 2. you are female, and we have dumb sh*tty hormones that can cause our weight to go up with water (notice how I say water, which is temporary!) willy nilly, anytime of the month, because that is how we are built. It sucks, I know. I am trying to lose the last 6-ish pounds and I often find myself getting stuck in this train of thought too, but then I have to remind myself its not worth stressing myself out ALLLLL the time, and I'm not enjoying anything. So *kitten* it, put the scale away, eat healthy things and work out because you like it and it makes you feel good, not because you think you need to be a slave to cardio to work off water weight caused by a cheeseburger or something of the like. So, real talk, chill out girl because we are all in this with you.

Yep, sucks being a woman sometimes, lol. Glad to know I'm not alone on this.

Thanks everyone for the comments & concerns. I'm going to try not and stress about my weight so much. I have stopped weighing myself everyday, only weighing once a week now and that has helped some. I know I did not lose this weight over night so I won't gain it back over night either.

Thanks again everyone

AutumnElf80

What you are describing is the beginning states of an ED. You need to be honest with your Dr so they can help you. There is healthy and there is skinny, please choose the former over the latter.

cjaneplay79

You can do it!!

CA_Underdog

What you are describing is the beginning states of an ED. You need to be honest with your Dr so they can help you. There is healthy and there is skinny, please choose the former over the latter.

I agree, hiding that you're underweight is the flip side of hiding that you binge. I guess the most important thing is to realize these self-image issues are driving you to be unhealthy. If you can't, a therapist or an honest discussion with your doctor might put you on the right path. If you can, maybe confiding in family or a close friend or a blog here is enough. Hope you get yourself back on track to a healthier you!

JesterMFP

If you're 5'5" (as your profile says), perhaps your body is telling you you need to weigh a bit more?

I'm 5'6" and 130-135.

Yes, I'm 5'5" as stated on my profile. I thought I was 5'4" (last measured at age 14) but was recently measured this year and they confirmed I was 5'5" :laugh:

Well, best of luck. I stand by my concern that your weight will be hard to maintain when it's 20ish pounds less than what it probably wants to be. But again, best of luck.

A woman who is 5'5" should be 115 at the least to be healthy. Your goal is unrealistic if you want maintain and be underweight. I'm extremely surprised your doctor didn't mention this. Also, a gain of about 5-8 lbs shouldn't put you up a size if you really weight lift. There are women who actually gained 10lbs, but lost a pant size because of weight lifting. is being a size 1-2 really that big of a deal?

When going to the doctor I always wear clothes that put me well into the healthy weight range, I don't disclose my true weight to my doctor. Then she would really dismiss my concerns about weight gain. The extra water weight I put on from my occasional over eating does not cause my clothes to not fit. I just don't feel or look as thin as I want. Maintaining at 105-110 I believe is the best range for my body. I have a small frame and any weight gain shows right away.

Massive red flags here. I would go to your doctor and tell her the truth, accepting that she may (and rightly so) be concerned with your weight. Be honest and get the help you need. Take care of your son's mother. :flowerforyou:

SharonCMach

:laugh: I'm all kind of messed up, I know this. Nothing I can't handle, just weighs on my mind alot thats all. I'v talk to my husband about it, he just tells me I need to quit stressing about it. Haha, easier said then done. And the reason I don't want my doctor to know my true weight is b/c I wanted her to give me something that would help curb my appetite or help with the over indulging or stressing out about my weight 24/7. She told me my weight is fine & that I just need to continue what Im doing. Geezzzz...face palm!! :huh:

Anyway, I hear what ya'll are saying. Working on fixing these issues. Thanks again :flowerforyou:

nxd10

First, lots of people change that much from salt.

Second, you know overeating makes you feel lousy. It helps me to eat more modestly when I think about whether eating will really make me feel GOOD or if I'm just eating from habit. A little is good. More is not always better.

Third, as a food lover, a small amount of really flavorful, fantastic food is SO much more satisfying than a lot of food that is only okay. Go for quality and flavor. Often that's healthy. Sometimes it's not. That's okay.

Good luck!

nxd10

I just went through the past two weeks in your diary, and it looks like you're netting under 1000 calories most days. I'm assuming that you overate by a good margin on days that you didn't log. This kind of behaviour, combined with what you describe as "obsessing" may be pointing to a problem with your perception of yourself rather than your weight. I highly advise seeing a therapist if at all possible, as theses types of behaviors tend to lead people down the road to disordered eating. Your current weight is underweight for your height, and your body is trying to tell you that.

Congrats on all the success that you've had! Don't let this undo all of it! Considering eating at your maintenance calories and using strength training to recomp. You may gain pounds, but your overall body shape will be much firmer and stronger. You won't blow up like a balloon, I promise.

This is wisdom.

MissBabyJane

I just looked at your diary, please - please eat more than 1000 calories a day. And if you over-eat don't punish yourself the next few days by eating less.

danfeldman494

I know it's very difficult, as a guy I am going through similar stuff as you. I always obsess over my weight and what I'm eating - I'm always worried about gaining weight, eating too much, etc.

What I can tell you is that your perception of yourself is probably inaccurate. When you think you're getting "fat", you're really not. Maybe what you think is an ideal weight range for you is a bit too low, and hence your body is trying to get you to a healthier weight range.

I like to think of these as "vanity pounds". It's the extra few pounds that we think that we need to lose in order to reach perfection - to look like the people in magazines. The problem is that trying to lose those "vanity pounds" doesn't really make us any happier or healthier, and can actually make us less healthy. Think about it - is a few pounds really worth the constant anxiety.

There are other things in life that matter besides achieving physical perfection. I'm sure that your husband thinks that you are beautiful. Realize that a few pounds is probably not noticeable to anyone besides yourself.

Focus on eating whole, healthy foods. Focus on your health, not the scale. And most importantly, be happy.

Best of luck to you!

Dan

radiosilents

I have a long ways to go and I have been here many times before, but I am trying to adjust my way of thinking this round and I really think it's the ticket for me. Maybe it will be something for you to consider.

While I am definitely watching the scale as I go, what I am trying to do is focus on my health overall, and taking care of my body in the best way possible. I feel that if I do this, then the weight loss will happen – maybe not super fast, but whatever. I am focused on eating as many whole foods as possible, for example, drinking lots of water, and getting plenty of exercise. I want to be strong and treat my body like a temple. I want to feel comfortable, and I want to live a long, happy life.

I have a tendency toward obsessiveness about food. I have had issues all my life and I am really trying hard to hit a balance. The most important thing is the overall view – not only the weight loss.

It would be helpful to get some therapy – I know I would love to! There are online therapists you can work with now, have you looked into that?

SharonCMach

I have a long ways to go and I have been here many times before, but I am trying to adjust my way of thinking this round and I really think it's the ticket for me. Maybe it will be something for you to consider.

While I am definitely watching the scale as I go, what I am trying to do is focus on my health overall, and taking care of my body in the best way possible. I feel that if I do this, then the weight loss will happen – maybe not super fast, but whatever. I am focused on eating as many whole foods as possible, for example, drinking lots of water, and getting plenty of exercise. I want to be strong and treat my body like a temple. I want to feel comfortable, and I want to live a long, happy life.

I have a tendency toward obsessiveness about food. I have had issues all my life and I am really trying hard to hit a balance. The most important thing is the overall view – not only the weight loss.

It would be helpful to get some therapy – I know I would love to! There are online therapists you can work with now, have you looked into that?

Yes, my doctor told me about online therapists, must be something new. I have looked into it, still doing research on it. Thanks for the kind words.

SharonCMach

I know it's very difficult, as a guy I am going through similar stuff as you. I always obsess over my weight and what I'm eating - I'm always worried about gaining weight, eating too much, etc.

What I can tell you is that your perception of yourself is probably inaccurate. When you think you're getting "fat", you're really not. Maybe what you think is an ideal weight range for you is a bit too low, and hence your body is trying to get you to a healthier weight range.

I like to think of these as "vanity pounds". It's the extra few pounds that we think that we need to lose in order to reach perfection - to look like the people in magazines. The problem is that trying to lose those "vanity pounds" doesn't really make us any happier or healthier, and can actually make us less healthy. Think about it - is a few pounds really worth the constant anxiety.

There are other things in life that matter besides achieving physical perfection. I'm sure that your husband thinks that you are beautiful. Realize that a few pounds is probably not noticeable to anyone besides yourself.

Focus on eating whole, healthy foods. Focus on your health, not the scale. And most importantly, be happy.

Best of luck to you!

Dan

Your probably right about my perception of myself. Everybody tells me how thin I am & to stop losing weight, when all I see is fat. And for the record, Im not trying to lose anymore weight, just trying to maintain around 105-110, which I am. I do eat healthy most of the time & I love how exercising makes me feel, so I will continue to do these things. I just need to learn to stop obsessing about it so much.

Thanks :flowerforyou: