100 lbs to lose and severe depression

heidi_drc

Hello all!
My name is Heidi, I am 35 years old and a mother of 4. I have gained 100 lbs since I graduated highschool. This weight did not appear over night so I know it will not come of over night. I have severe depression, which makes it extremely hard to find the motivation to exercise. I already eat healthy, most of the time. I know what I have to do to lose the weight (Exercise), I just need to find it in myself to get there. I have absolutely NO energy. Sometimes it is even hard for me to get out of bed. I am just wondering if anyone out there feels the same things? The hardest part in all of this is that I do not want anyone from my past to see me because when I am out and about I see people I know and they just look at me and eventually say "I didn't even recognize you"...Well no sh"t sherlock....I am fat. Any sugesstions will help. Thanks in advance.:huh:

StacyPhillipsTSFLcoach

Been there! I know it hurts right now, and I know that making the fundamental decision to create optimal health in your life seems like an overwhelming task/project right NOW, but I recommend that you pick a program that will fit with your lifestyle and your goals and commit to it. Line up on plan days day after day and eventually you can be AT your goal, LIVING your healthy life! If you can dream it, you can achieve it! You've picked a great community to be a part of! I lost over 150 pounds so when I say I've been there, I HAVE BEEN THERE. The depression (which was largely obesity-related), the low energy, the not wanting to see people I knew, ALL of it.

7elizamae

Have you been to a doctor regarding your depression? You may be able to find relief quickly with medication. Nothing is more miserable that severe depression. I'll never forget the dark days when I went through my bout of depression.

I hope you're getting help. That should really come before you weight loss program begins.

bcclaceycooley

Hey Heidi!

The fact that you eat healthy is already a great start. I'm only 21 years old and I need to lose 130lbs to be my goal weight because I allowed myself to gain 80lbs since High School. Be happy that it took you almost 17 years and 4 children to pack the weight on. I also found it hard to go out because I didn't want anyone to see me, even cancelled a few trips back home because the last time I went, everyone of course noticed. It's not a good feeling, it hurts, it's hard,and it takes time. The thing that has gotten me motivated is upbeat music, throwing on some headphones and going for a walk around the neighborhood...i turn it up so loud that I don't even notice anyone around me. I also put my dream body as my screen saver for motivation. We only live once, people that weigh over 400lbs lose hundreds every year...what's my excuse? That's the mind set I'm in. Do it to look sexy naked, do it so you get your pride and confidence back, do it for your kids so they can see a happy, healthy mom, and do it so the next time people see you, they can't NOT recognize you...do it because you owe it to yourself to love yourself! I'm facing the journey with you!

-Lacey-

heidi_drc

Thank you! A big problem that I have, which is crazy, Is I feel like if I am not running a marathon or exercising for an hour or more than I am not doing anything beneficial. I see the big picture and give up, before I have even started. I am just curious, what was the breaking point for you? How did you start with exercise?

heidi_drc

Have you been to a doctor regarding your depression? You may be able to find relief quickly with medication. Nothing is more miserable that severe depression. I'll never forget the dark days when I went through my bout of depression.

I hope you're getting help. That should really come before you weight loss program begins.

I am currently on two different antidepressents. I have an appointment next week for a follow up. I know if I dropped the weight I would most likely have lesss depression, or none at all. I just want to beat this.

SnuggleSmacks

The very first step on a journey is just deciding to take the journey, so your first step is done! Congrats! Good decision!

I have two responses to what you've said. First, I don't know if you realize it, but exercise isn't actually necessary to lose weight: a calorie deficit is all that is necessary. Period. That simply means eating less than you burn each day. If you don't exercise, you don't burn as much, so you simply eat a little less. But also, second, not only does exercise let you eat more since you're burning more, but it also improves your mood. Studies have shown it to be at least as effective as antidepressants, with fewer negative side effects, and fewer relapses. So, tracking calories should be your first priority, and you can do that even if you decided not to exercise...but exercising will have all sorts of benefits over and above that.

There are quite a few people on here who have lost more than 100 lbs, so you are in good company. You might look through some of the success stories and see some amazing before and after photos, and know that you'll be posting one of those threads someday. :flowerforyou:

mamadon

Actually, you do not have to exercise to lose the weight, although it is helpful. You have to eat at a calorie deficit. Weight loss is done in the kitchen. Figure out how many calories you need to eat to be at a deficit to lose a pound or two a week. Either use this site to set it up for you or calculate your TDEE.

heidi_drc

Hey Heidi!

The fact that you eat healthy is already a great start. I'm only 21 years old and I need to lose 130lbs to be my goal weight because I allowed myself to gain 80lbs since High School. Be happy that it took you almost 17 years and 4 children to pack the weight on. I also found it hard to go out because I didn't want anyone to see me, even cancelled a few trips back home because the last time I went, everyone of course noticed. It's not a good feeling, it hurts, it's hard,and it takes time. The thing that has gotten me motivated is upbeat music, throwing on some headphones and going for a walk around the neighborhood...i turn it up so loud that I don't even notice anyone around me. I also put my dream body as my screen saver for motivation. We only live once, people that weigh over 400lbs lose hundreds every year...what's my excuse? That's the mind set I'm in. Do it to look sexy naked, do it so you get your pride and confidence back, do it for your kids so they can see a happy, healthy mom, and do it so the next time people see you, they can't NOT recognize you...do it because you owe it to yourself to love yourself! I'm facing the journey with you!
Thank you!!!

-Lacey-

ckish

Once you recognize you are in a depression it is easier to start to do the things you need to do to come out of it. If you are not feeling like getting out of bed and are devoid of energy it is counter productive to think you will be able to lose weight without coming out of the depression first. Have you talked to your doctor about the depression? Do you have a plan to help you come back into the light of a joyous life? I was fortunate that I did not need medication to overcome my depression. I use exercise and healthy flavorful foods that make me smile as 2 of the cornerstones to keep my depression at bay. I hope you are get the help you need and are surrounded by love and support from your family and friends. If you need a friend who has successfully battled depression just drop me a line. Good luck!

joepage612

In the film documentary "FED UP" it is said that the symptoms you described are from the foods we eat . We are tired from what we eat and that fatigue makes us fat. Modern food dopes us up. The fat doesn't make use tired, the food does FIRST. It talks about sugar in things we think are healthy like juice, etc. and its harsh effect to our liver and pancreas,.I found it very informative. I don't know if that speaks to you or your issues but I think it may.

PeacefulSeraph

I'm still suffering from anxiety and depression, so I think I know a little how you feel. Everyone one is different, but I started to eat a gluten free, lower carb diet with minimal sugars and NO fake sweeteners, I started to feel better. I only drink water. Also, I found out that those sugar substitutes were causing me to have panic attacks- aspartame and caffeine are the worst. I'm still depressed, and I'm not ashamed to say I sought help from a professional to deal with it and to have someone to talk you through it. I'm not on any antidepressants, but I'm learning to take responsibility for my own happiness. I hope you can find your own inner happiness soon, and god bless you on what will probably be a very emotional (but necessary) journey. Good luck!!

ckish

When I first started typing my reply there wasn't all the posts that I see now. So, congratulations on seeking medical help. The best motivation I have ever found to come out of my depression, to lose weight, or to pursue my dreams has been and will always be my daughters. When I did not feel worthy of a happy life or I didn't think I could find the strength to take care of myself I would just think of my daughters. I tried to envision how I would want them to feel about themselves or the action steps I hoped they would take if they found themselves in the very same situation 30 years down the road. When I was taken out of the equation I relaized that I would hope my kids felt loved for who they were at that very moment and not think they needed to lose weight or achieve some other goal to be worthy of a happy love filled life. Your 4 year old will learn so much by they way you face this obstacle. I hope you will face it in the same way you would want them to tackle a similar problem. You wouldn't beat them up emotionally because they gained 100 pounds. You wouldn't want their recovery from depression to be dependent on weight loss. Be brave and courageous!

Unknown

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heidi_drc

take care of yourself. Respect your body. Learn that treating your body and mind with respect and dignity is the most important thing you can do. More important than anything else..including your children. Yes I said it. Being depressed and fat and unhealthy will poison your kids. Seeing you hate on yourself will teach them to hate on themselves as well. IIf they are to grow up with a healthy sense of self, you need to model it to them. Love yourself..others will follow.

Thank you

conniekat8

Every day, you only need to focus on getting through that day.
Big pictures are for two things - planing your general direction (so you don't get lost along the way) and to feel good when you look behind you and see how far you traveled already (great for self esteem, almost addictive, and in a good way).
Once you plan out the general direction, you just need to get through one day at the time... one hour at the time.

7elizamae

Have you been to a doctor regarding your depression? You may be able to find relief quickly with medication. Nothing is more miserable that severe depression. I'll never forget the dark days when I went through my bout of depression.

I hope you're getting help. That should really come before you weight loss program begins.

I am currently on two different antidepressents. I have an appointment next week for a follow up. I know if I dropped the weight I would most likely have lesss depression, or none at all. I just want to beat this.

I'm glad you're under a doctor's care. My heart just goes out to people dealing with depression.

CindyMarcuzAdams

I am friending. you sittin

Akimajuktuq

My best advice (based on much experience with obesity and depression, and much more): is that the FOOD MATTERS. Not so much the calories, but the FOOD. Yes, you can cure depression and obesity. I still have a bit more fat to lose, and my metabolism is damaged due excessive calorie restriction in the past, but I will get there eventually. The good news is that I am completely healthy with ZERO depression for almost 2 years. Because of my food choices.

Best wishes to you and I hope you find what works for YOU.

lguarnaccia

I also have depression but exercise helps this tremendously!!!! Okay, so big deal you are fat, so am I. My body size does not define who I am. I have to lose an enormous amount of weight as well and people say they would have never guessed that someone that was as skinny as I would have a weight problem. Well, I don't have a problem because I can fix this and will fix this.

As far as people go....I don't care what they think but I do care what Jesus thinks after all I will be spending eternity with Him. So I pray for help to lose weight, I pray for help with my depression.

I also am grateful for all the wonderful things in my life and realize I do not have anything to be depressed about. I am not dying, my husband and children are not dying so all is well with the world.

Medication, exercise, and the power of prayer!!!!

When you start moving around you will be more energized just go slow a little at a time and be kind to yourself. Your weight is not your identity!

HealthWoke0ish

Hi Heidi!

We'll, you're here...that's a step in the right direction (and remember that cheesy--but true--line that goes, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" or something like that...haha).

Anyway, so you're here. What I did was first just to start logging. I didn't even try to moderate. I just logged to build that habit. (Baby steps). Over time (a few weeks) and even before I consciously made the decision, I started naturally beginning to alter my food choices (e.g. chicken breast instead of chicken thigh, etc.) just to start chipping away at that calorie count total. After I'd moderated my intake and had been counting calories and logging consistently for a few months, I added exercise. I chose those Jillian Michael's DVDs (specifially...the 30 Day Shred vid...they're only like $8!) and started doing those and logging my calories burned. I bought a heart rate monitor (HRM) so I could more accurately track my calories burned. I just kept trying to dial in on accuracy and I've been just trying to maintain consistency, or improve.

That's basically the route I took. Additionally, I found a couple people who'd had success, read their blogs (for information and also just for motivation), posted a couple pics, involved myself--if only passively at first--in the more constructive forums, etc., and just generally tried to be "fully invested" in the program. That all helped me keep coming back.

Anyway...whatever you do, good luck to you. You can do it!

sharimedina

I feel you completely! I am just getting back on a program and have a ton of weight to lose. I also just changed up my anxiety and depression meds because I fear that sticking to this 'lifestyle' losing weight so slow (I also have diabetes and PCOS) will be too hard. It is now affecting my daughter who is 6 and overweight. One previous poster said pretty much to take care of yourself first...and it is so true. Everyone gave some really good advice, but let me tell you something...just start exercising. Just do it. I did 20 minute slow walk the first day. I looked up walking in place by Leslie Sansone on youtube (Free). Now I am riding a stationary bike 4 miles a day. The thing is I feel so much better when I exercise. It helps curb the appetite, I drink more water...it helps create that negative calorie effect to lose a little quicker. I am motivated now, but I have the meds to help keep me that way...and that is okay. Being a mom is rough at times, but to be the best mom we have to be the best us first. Good luck! and JUST DO IT. You don't need a fancy gym membership. My 6 year old does the videos with me.

HeidiCooksSupper

I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression about age 40 -- I'm now in my mid-60s -- so I've been taking Prozac for over 20 years, Welbutrin for about 15 years and been seeing counselors since the early 80s. One of my best purchases last winter was a SADD light that clips on my computer monitor. Why I tell you this is that I fully understand what a debilitating pile of horse dung clinical depression is.

I also have been heavy since puberty and when I am not paying attention weigh twice the high end of a normal BMI for my height. My height and circumference are about equal so I am, quite literally, 5' x 5'. I am hoping to lose 140 lbs.

Some of us are just genetically predisposed to depression just as we are to being heavy or having diabetes or having freckles. We can try to overcome some of these with treatment and others, like the freckles, we may just have to accept. I figure clinical depression is somewhere between the two. I work to overcome it with treatment and I accept that I have it.

Now, as to the fat part. That's one that can be overcome with treatment but it's a difficult and constant uphill battle. Is it worse or harder because I am depressed? Who knows? What I do know is that I have been dealt both cards and I need to take care of each of them separately. Would I still be depressed if I weren't fat? Yup. Would I still be fat if I weren't overweight? Yup. So I will divide and conquer -- or at least try not to get all hung up on dealing with both as if they were inextricably linked.

So, just as you don't let depression prevent you from brushing your teeth at night, don't let it prevent you from developing healthy eating habits. Besides, the depression is a bit easier to deal with when you feel better physically.

Feel free to friend or message me.

Heidi

SusanL222

Years ago a wise nurse told me that if I'm feeling depressed, one of the first things to do is to cut out sugar and alcohol. FWIW! I wish you the best! You CAN do this! :flowerforyou:

eternalsepicsanctuary

Heidi..... Hug! All of us women and men here care about our weight and/or health. Your depression is probably a bigger barrier than the other things actually. That's ok, we work on it. I was going thru my own stuff when I decided I'm gonna make a change. I started back last year very small extremely small and I've lost 30 lbs altogether. I stopped when my dog got sick when I lost close to twenty within monthes of a lot going on I put back on ten now I lost that and some. I swear baby steps and stay consistent. Even if you twirl your arm 2 minutes for a day. Then when you start a habit and consistent you go up .. You keep doing this then when you get into it feel lil motivated you go up and when you start getting serious and excited you start challenging yourself and change ups. I made my own self my own goals I did it weekly and each week I'd evaluate see weak point and strong points, I made charts etc, and then make new goal for next week. I've do e that since oh 2-3 monthes. I have not been good lately but from a very sedatary person who I just walked in one place for 5 minutes to begin.. I now except this week exercise a lot 45 minutes all body that I started real easy it has tension chords then I went up and up in levels and I do express abs. The other day I do one hour cardio between aerobics and dance that go to abs. I have dropped 3-4 sizes. I started so small started my diet just drink a little water and try to cut down on my favorite food. Baby steps. I got real strict and bland. Not as stick now and lower in daily cal. I hope this helped. I know how it feels inow I was there no energy. But I swear you can get there. And hug we all feel the way you do when we put on weight. I put on 80 pounds since high school and college. I now have only 17-23 pounds left to be ideal for my height. So believe me ifi can do it I know you can.... It doesn't feel or look that hopeful in the beginning you go in there not expecting anything in the beginning just creating a habit just get moving and any movement is worth something. I dont care how small you start if you continue and do a little more each week or e ery few days even if that be small or stay the same and just stay consistent you will want to do more and you will get somewhere. Never underestimate small steps in the right direction. I started real small made a chart or made it so simple didn't need one. And little time. Just to get moving. Each week I would review and stay the same or move up or add or cross of a goal etc. each week I would review my progress and anything I did right.. Progress! Any movement good cheer for yourself. Be easy on yourself. And with better feeling and seeing you doing stuff you'll want more! Once you see your getting places and can keep habit make routine. Then schedule it in. And go up. You will make mistakes you will have days harder. So you get up. Remember anything is something and if you can stick with that the only way is forward and up. If you slow down or something happen just get yourself up again and try again. I wish you the best luck and all the best wishes hug.

Bennettlizzy81

I have depression and severe anxiety. Here's some hope: ever since I started a healthier lifestyle it has gotten better! I was also using food to self-medicate, and counting my calories really made me more conscious of emotional eating. My symptoms haven't gone a way, and I still manage with prescriptions from my doctor, but I have way more energy and self-love.

nebslp

Thank you! A big problem that I have, which is crazy, Is I feel like if I am not running a marathon or exercising for an hour or more than I am not doing anything beneficial. I see the big picture and give up, before I have even started. I am just curious, what was the breaking point for you? How did you start with exercise?

Check out a list of activities and you will see that there are lots of things you can do and some you probably already do that count towards calorie burn. There's one on MFP and there are other calorie burn counters online if you look for them. If you have a Wii, you can get programs that are active and fun and you can do them with your kids, too. Bowling, tennis, golf, and boxing (my favorite) all get you off the couch and moving and you don't feel like your working out but your heart gets to pumping if you do it long enough. Score! Calorie burn. Also DVDs that focus on strength training using whatever weights you can handle (I started with 2 lbs and have worked up to 8) are good. No jumping around required and you start seeing results almost immediately in that the workouts get easier and you can move up to higher weights. Gardening is a great way to burn calories. It also gets me outside and that helps improve my mood any day. You don't have to run a marathon although maybe that's something you want to do someday. For now, start with daily activities that you enjoy and just try to increase the effort and time you do them. Good luck!

janatarnhem

Hi Heidi
Not much more to add to the sage advice already posted.
I just wish you all of the very best...I know how hard depression is to cope with.
Hope you find your way out of this..... You have taken the first steps....

Jan xxxx

HannahLynn91

Thank you! A big problem that I have, which is crazy, Is I feel like if I am not running a marathon or exercising for an hour or more than I am not doing anything beneficial. I see the big picture and give up, before I have even started. I am just curious, what was the breaking point for you? How did you start with exercise?

Hello and welcome.

I understand where you are coming from about depression. Throughout high school I took a multitude of different antidepressants. When I was 20 I asked my Dr. when I could start weening off of them and she looked me straight in the eyes and told me "You don't. You will take them forever." That was the last day I saw her and the last day I took antidepressants, I am 23 now.

I didn't start exercising regularly until this year, of course at first it was to lose weight, but I started to notice that my mood and attitude was greatly improved. My antidepressant now is exercise. I get up early in the morning, even when i'm not feeling it, because my brain needs it just as much as my body does.

I just started out with walking for 10 minutes a day, then I went to 15 and then 20 and now I'm doing 30-35 min a day, pushing 40. I look forward to my morning "meditation" as I walk/jog and listen to music.

Starting is the hardest part. But once you do, you'll wonder why you didn't sooner.

LambrettaVVespa

Hello!
I have Bipolar Disorder (Type 1) so I know exactly what you're going through. When I was first diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, I was 14 - which is when I was gaining weight at a pretty rapid weight. Unfortunately, endless medication exacerbated the issue for me (Fluoxetine, Quetipaine, Risperidone, Olanzapine, Lorazepam, Sertraline, Citalopram, Propanalol, other benzodiazepines and sedatives of which I can't remember because they were used against my will during psychiatric ward admissions).

Luckily, I've found that Fluoxetine, Sertraline and Citalopram didn't cause much weight gain (if any) and that was in fact caused by a lack of motivation to do anything and a close friend in fattening foods. Who needs to get out of bed and cook a meal when they have a cupboard full of chocolates and cakes? Your medication may, however, be a contributing factor - discuss this with the doctor or psychiatrist that prescribed your medication.

If you're still lacking motivation to the extreme of not really wanting to do much at all, your medication obviously isn't helping and therefore you may need a higher dose, different medication and/or therapy (CBT, DBT, Counselling, Mindfulness etc) in addition to any medication you may be taking.

Next you need to find a form of exercise that suits you. It doesn't necessarily have to be high-intensity cardio, but walking at a moderate speed for an hour or partaking in some form of Yoga can be beneficial in terms of both burning calories and boosting your mood (exercise releases endorphins and I always feel better after a bit of exercise). I find Yoga to be quite relaxing. When I lost 7 stone before my most recent relapse into a psychotic manic episode, followed by a depressive episode, I did it by simply eating healthily, walking and doing medium-low intensity short workouts at home.

You need to get into the mindset of realising that exercise can be both fun and beneficial to your mental state. The more physically fit and active you are, the more your mind benefits from the hormones and chemicals released by the physical activity.

As others have said, losing weight isn't all about exercise. Making healthier choices in your eating habits is a huge change which can also increase your mental Wellbeing along with your physical Wellbeing. To lose weight you need a 'calorie deficit' - you need to burn more calories than you consume. The amount calories you need to consume is based on your BMR, activity levels and any exercise you may do.

I said earlier on in this post about doing an hour of walking. Well, it doesn't even need to be that long. Start by going for a short 15 minute walk every day and slowly build it up. Eventually you'll find that you're actually enjoying walking and you'll most likely WANT to increase how long you walk, along with increasing the pace. You don't need to run a marathon, at all. Just start off slowly and you will be burning calories, even though it won't be a huge amount. I'll repeat: combine this exercise with a healthy diet.

You'll notice that once you start eating healthier and exercising, the low periods caused by Depression won't be so low and you'll have positives to focus on - increased cardio performance, weight loss, healthier eating and discovering tasty yet healthy foods.

schaaf95

Hello Heidi,

I both have been and going through the same struggle again, both while suffering with PTSD, which developed over an incident where I work. Having a dark cloud loom over you while you are going through this is not easy. Like i said, I have made this journey once before, losing 115 pounds. But, because of an injury, I am back in the struggle again. Thankfully not as bad as the first time, but I am more upset at myself because while I was injured, I knew better, but I let it happen to myself again. I just need to remember that it was not easy the first time, I needed to take it day by day. When I first started there was no way of working out, so I modified the way I ate. Cut out processed sugars, no sodas, increasing my fruit and vegetable intake and I was eating something every two hours. I was able to loose my first 30 pounds doing just that, which made it easier to exercise. Then I just did what I could, ran down the street and walked back, 1 unassisted push up the the rest we assisted. Small goals will get you through the barrier. Next thing you know, you will be running around the block and doing 10 push ups with no issues. Do not let depression get to you, suffering from depression or PTSD can incapacitate you, but this is your life you have to fight for it! You can do this, keep the fight!