Ode to jeans...... i hate you.

nerdymathgrrl

Your descriptions are vivid and hilarious! I love your sense of humor, and laughing at the situation is far better than crying. I can completely relate--I have several sizes of jeans in my closet, and I try them on once a month to gauge my progress. I feel your pain! Lol

GrnEyes839

I decided that I need to revisit my feeling on this topic since I obviously fell off the wagon since my initial post...:explode:


JEANS.... well well well look what the cat drug in..

So I realized this morning that it was time to ... (bites fist) .. (takes deep breath)..... try on all my old jeans. :sad:
THERE I said it!!!

Granted, I do realize this could result in a episode of closet eating while curled up in the fetal position surrounded by chocolate wrappers and pizza crusts .. but I needed to know where I was at. I cant live in leggings and work clothes the rest of my life.

My jeans sizes range greatly but basically they are arranged super chunky to goal weight in three stages. :drinker:

*****Super Chunky = Got past my thighs, but the waist is to tight. HOW CAN I NOT FIT IN MY FAT PANTS???!!??? :mad:

These are beyond muffin top... more like mushroom. Seriously, a caterpillar could smoke a hookah while berating a small girl while sitting on this fat roll. :smokin:

So, to fit into these will be about 15lbs.

*****Regular Chubby = Stuck on my thighs.

I look like cookie dough caught in a bear trap.
Its ugly, ghastly, yet you cant look away. Hey who's that fat girl trying to get in those jeans... oh wait thats me. My thighs.... how I loath you. You are so disproportionate to my child bearing hips... wait... no actually you match... I'm Fat. :drinker:

To fit into these will be 20-30lbs.

*******Goal Weight = laugh HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA.... knee to mid thigh lockage. :noway:

I am not even sure these would fit on my arms right now. noway Well, I know who isnt craving sweet now ... this fatty right here. I honestly thought "Wow, I thought I was fat when i fit in these!?!!?!?!?!??!" I could slap myself!

I will be able to wear these in 40-60lbs

I felt a lot of emotions after doing this..... disappointed in myself, angry, sad.

But I also feel excited...... because now i KNOW.

I am on my way.

No closet eating or coach binging tonight! I am going to do this
It also gave me the idea to make myself a reward list.

Anyway just sharing my nightmare that is JEANS. :flowerforyou:

Thank you for this. It made my morning. I'm literally laughing hysterically while sitting at my desk. YOU rock!

IowaPrincess

:flowerforyou: Thanks ladies!!!!
Jeans are just the worst!

Veronnie87

I have been avoiding buying new jeans for a while. I'm sure y'all have said this: I won't bother buying new jeans until I can wear a size smaller. Yeah. Well, I finally had to go get some new jeans since my old ones are about to pop at the inner seams because they're so worn from my thighs rubbing together.

I tried the Jessica Simson jeans at the Bay and lo and behold I have FINALLY found jeans that fit properly. My butt, thighs and waist all fit comfortably into the same pair of jeans at the same time. Typically I end up finding jeans that fit my thighs but are too tight at the waist, and if they fit my waist then I have the dreaded sag in the thighs. *sigh* The size 31 jeans that I used to buy from the Gap are actually bigger than the size 33 jeans that I just bought from the J.S. line but whatever, THEY FIT GOSHDARNIT! Bless that woman, she understands that stretchier fabric makes for WAY more comfortable jeans.

I wish the clothing industry would get their *kitten* together and just have standard sizes. For example: my wedding dress is coming in a size 14, I'm wearing size 12 work pants from the Gap right now, my jeans are size 31 from the Gap and 33 from Jessica Simpson, my bras are a lovely melange of 36-38 B's and C's because apparently those damn things aren't standardized either and I bought a dress in a size 16 the other day.

Great to see so many people here with a sense of humour about weight loss and getting healthy...I'm getting a bit tired of the "calories in calories out" people. If it were that easy we'd all be fit and at our ideal weights. I'm a closet eater as well, although thanks to some psychological help, I am over three months binge-free. Sometimes we all just need a chuckle because God knows I've been there, I've had those thoughts and it's reassuring that I'm not alone. If we can't laugh we'll cry and there's enough crap to make us cry in our lives already.

IowaPrincess, just keep on keeping on and thanks for the chuckles!

IowaPrincess

Thanks ladies!!!

SandyCoils

healthygreek wrote: »

This post was soooooo funny/sad/pathetic/brave!

^^^What she said. It had me crying laughing!!! That was one of the realest things I have read on here! How many of us have been there but would rather die than tell anyone. I know I have. Shoot, I'm happy that I am at the point to where I can pull my jeans all the way up and over my thighs, hips and tummy without having to unbutton and unzip! That's right dammit! LOL I was just thinking this morning that it might be time to invest in 1 pair of 16s just to see........but I am afraid to go into the fitting room and they not fit. I think I'll wait another month and see. Awesome post though!

IowaPrincess

Thanks Sandy!!!

Emartz2

Hilarious!!! But all I can relate too!

Gonna friend request you!!! Need this kind of silliness!

IowaPrincess

LOL!!!! Thanks friend!

AllOutof_Bubblegum

Meerataila wrote: »

I look like cookie dough caught in a bear trap.

:laugh: This just cracked me up.

This whole post is hilarious, but that one in particular killed me, too.

IowaPrincess

Thanks girl!

cbills65

You are brilliant. Just love your sense of humor.

nicfitnesszone

Made me *smile* this morning..
My jeans give me validation (rude awakening sometimes but honest). Luck on your journey. Love your humor!!

IowaPrincess

Thanks Cbills!!!

jfp420

Love this post! You've acually motivated me to go try on my old skinny jeans now- wish me luck!

IowaPrincess

Good luck jfp420!!!!!