When to quit

marielenrdz

I have a bit of a problem. I'm currently 5'2", 148-150lbs (depending on the day!) in a lose size 10. My family is on my case to stop losing weight. At my highest I was 235lbs many years ago. I've had four pregnancies and I always carry them as if I'm holding triplets (no lie...my gyno is amazed at how huge my uterus can balloon carrying only one child!!)

I've been told that I'm looking older and sickly. The problem is that I'm losing weight from the waist up and mid thigh down. Not a whole lot is changing around my butt, saddlebags, upper thighs and tummy...although they are significantly smaller than the past. I was hoping to lose about at least 15 more lbs, but I've been told that losing anymore from my upper body will make me look even sicker and that I should just accept my curves and maintain my weight because I look fine as I am. BMI tells me I'm "slightly overweight".

I realize that I will never have a swimsuit model's body. Some of the weight may have to come off by surgical means (which I will not do) since I can't control where I lose the weight. I exercise EVERY day, but the last of my flabbiness just won't budge.
At what point does a person decide that it's time to embrace your flaws and just try and stay healthy by maintaining weight. A part of me wants to keep going, but I don't want be at goal only to look weird! My sister has said that I look like someone sprinkled dust over my head and shrunk it!!! Everyone tells me I look great...but that number on the scale, the size on the tag and what I see standing naked in the mirror tells otherwise!

Advice please!!!!

nikki91950

don't stop until you feel it's the right time. you're the one that got yourself so overweight, and you're the one that finally decided to take control and do something about it. losing weight is about getting and staying in control. once you give the power to others to dictate what you do with your weight loss, you lose control.

kasmir8199

Have you thought about consulting with a personal trainer? I stayed away from the idea because I feared it would be outrageously expensive. Unless you live in LA or NYC and plan to hire a celebrity trainer, they have pretty reasonable rates and have the knowledge and the means necessary to get the results you desire. [I love my trainers!]

LJCannon

Have you gotten input from a Dr, Dietician, or Trainer at a Gym? We are our own worst critic and I would NOT trust what I see in the mirror. As a good Friend of mine puts it "I have broken eyes" because we always see our flaws when we look in the mirror.
There will always be people in your life telling you that you have lost too much weight, or that you don't need to watch your diet anymore. It does concern me some that EVERYONE in your life is telling you that you look sick. If you feel good generally speaking, you are eating good, sleeping well and being active every day, you are probably OK where you are. I really would encourage you to check with a Dr who will be able to advise you on what to do.

NoAdditives

You can still lose some weight and still be healthy, so if you aren't happy with the way you look and feel continue to exercise and definitely still eat healthy. The areas where you still have fat are known to be the hardest to lose. If you can, meeting with a personal trainer will help a lot. I'm not sure where you live, but if you have a Planet Fitness in your area you should check it out. It's a great gym and the trainers are free. And memberships start at $10 a month. If you don't have one in your area, I would try doing exercises that target the specific areas where you want to lose. I know everyone will tell you that you can't control where your body burns fat and for the most part, that's true. But, working specific muscle groups and targeting specific areas will help you burn a little more in those areas. Do lots of ab work and look on the internet for good exercises for your hips and butt.

4lafz

A Trainer would be a great idea. Stop when you believe you can maintain a healthy weight in real life. You will still watch what you eat and exercise regularly (Did we really think it would change?). Your BMI is still in the overweight catagory - you can tell your family that you will stop when you hit normal. Good luck!

clioandboy

Hi there,
I am in a similar situation to you 5' 1" and currently 131, I had an old friend here recently who told me to stop dieting and that I look old...... well I say 'feck off' coz my BMI was still just overweight when she came.

My BMI is now just normal...... I am not stopping yet. I think that people are so used to seeing us fat that it is a bit of a shock when we change, I also think that I drop weight and that it takes a little while for my skin to catch up (yuck!) I go a bit saggy then it pulls in.

I too have areas that are more stubborn than others, I am attacking these with cardio, probably not enough!!!! but being fit and healthy is a reward in itself

I would rather be healthy, with a younger healthy body and a few more wrinkles than having a pumped out face clogged arteries and a weighed down bod.

Everyone has to decide their own comfort zone, we all have different shaped bodies afterall but I could not have stopped at 148-150, sorry.

It probably is a good idea to see a trainer, I am English living in France and this really is not anything I would consider doing, different culture I suppose I dont want to be a model size zero blah de blah but I am nothere near anything like that, nor where I want to be yet

good luck to you!!!!

Natalie43

i would agree that i also prefer to have a few extra wrinkles but feel healthy and strong inside
Also dont get too hung up on BMI numbers, it can only be a guide. Trust me, you would be surprised how many athletes would come in as overweight or obese because of their muscle density. :noway: There are other measures available if you want to go down that route - not particularly pleasant but prob more accurate - fat callipers:laugh:
Also there are plenty of fitness tests you could do if you want to be reassured.
Maybe if you gave yourself another healthy/fitness goal such as a charity run/event you might channel all that negative feeling into something positive and show others what really is achievable.
well done on your progress so far, your children must be proud and you are a great role model for them :flowerforyou:

kwardklinck

I had the same problem with the very small upper body and the bulges in the thighs. My weight did balance out. I still have a bit of flabbiness in my thighs and may try to lose a few more pounds while targeting it with exercise. You should probably ask your doctor what the right weight is for you.

schpanks

Asking a doctor and consulting a personal trainer are both probably adviseable. You might also consider weight training with your upper body to combat that "little upper half" thing. I've watched a lot of people lose weight with weight loss surgery fairly rapidly and they tend to look ill for a while. It will take time for your body to reach an equilibrium where it looks normal. The flabby skin is another story. Some of it will resolve itself, but for the most part it's just going to hang around and be flabby. One of my girlfriends showed me her belly after her 150 pound weight loss. She said "I look like a sharpei!" Muscle mass is your friend there, too.

Bermudabarbie

I like the idea of a maintenance range -- say a 5 pound range. This way you can gain or lose a couple of pounds at any given time and still be within your "goal."

Think I have hit that myself now. I'm at 136, 5' 8 1/2.". Size 8 or 10 and a size 6 Jean.

Great BMI -- kind of slightly to the lighter end of the middle range for my height. Saw my doc earlier this week for my annual physical and he agreed that I have probably lost enough weight. But he didn't insist that I stop dieting or anything like that. He thought I looked fine, although others say perhaps I have lost too much.

I think sometimes family and friends are used to seeing you heavier and they don't want you to continue to lose. It is really your choice. You should be at a healthy, comfortable weight for you!

We all have figure flaws. Learning how to camouflage them and work with your body, is always a challenge we all face.

Wishing you success in reaching your goals.

canbecanbe

do what you want not what others think you should BMI is a good guide if you are still over weight that would be what guides me

marielenrdz

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the input and advice. That's why I turned to you all, because my family and friends are too close to the situation and probably can't see past the old, fat me. In comparison, I'm sure I do look thin...but I'm actually still overweight. I'm going to keep going. I'd like to get to the normal bmi range...probably the upper level. That would be about 15lbs, I believe. I'm going to focus on exercise and listen to my body. At some point, I will hopefully even out, but I also accept that my belly will never be flat and my inherited saddle bags may never go away completely, but I'm still going to work at it. I'll just have to also accept that the home stretch often takes the longest in dieting. I'm not going to lose 3-5lbs a week like I did when I was heavier. I just need to be patient!

I live in a rural community and have no access to a gym or personal trainer, but I have tons of dvds and often dvr FitTv and I love my elliptical..(well, no I don't..lol...but it certainly gets the calories burning!).

Thanks everyone! Blessings to all of you!! And you guys have done amazing with your own weight loss journeys...kudos!!

TrainerRobin

First of all, you're doing great -- especially doing it on your own, without a gym or trainer. Way to go!

I have had more than a few clients in precisely your shoes, and here's what I do with them.

The first thing I do is measure not their BMI, but their body fat. If it's high, we talk about why that's unhealthy (not just, from their perspective, something they don't like aesthetically).

We set a long term goal, and at least one interim goal that isn't based on their weight, but their body fat. Every week I check these folks in and record it on a special log I created that has three columns: body weight, lean weight, and fat weight. That's what we focus on -- not weight loss, but body composition improvement.

As you know, there is no such thing as spot reduction but if most of your fat is located in one region of your body, most of the fat stores used up will come from there. That said, I have a couple of clients that had plenty of storage in their lower body and started looking a little "skeletal" on their upper body. That called for some serious weight lifting/resistance training of their upper body to build muscle to improve the look of their upper body and lay down a layer of lean, attractive muscle (which also tightened up their skin) and which also helped burn calories (during and after the workout) off the areas where they stored too much fat.

So many ladies think they're going to get bulky from big muscles, but that just doesn't happen unless the "bulk" comes from a thickening fat layer due to a poor diet. So remember that and go for it. You can do push ups (starting by leaning against a sold surface about table high) and building those arms and shoulders. Get online and find some challenging upper body exercises and challenge yourself. I will admit though, that it takes a lot of lifting at challenging weights, to build muscle in us girls. We just don't have the testosterone necessary to make a big change, quickly!

Keep it up with your elliptical because you'll be using up those remaining fat stores you're not pleased with. And when folks ask you when you're going to stop, tell them it's when you and your doctor agree that you're at a healthy body fat level. That usually gets them to back off.

And I understand, first hand, how loose skin can be frustrating and it gets worse with age as my face gets thinner and doesn't have all that fat to fill it out. But for me, it's more about my healthy than my appearance so it's something I can totally live with. At some point, fat or heavy, if we're lucky enough to grow old, we have to contend with wrinkles and loose skin anyway. I find that many of my clients have friends and family who take the same approach and I'm convinced that many of them are simply jealous and find things they can draw attention to, as evidence supporting their argument that you should stop. It's interesting to note that those comments rarely coming from super fit, athletic and active folks.

So keep doing what you know is right. Build up the areas that you feel are becoming too slim with hard work, and stand tall and proud about what you've accomplished, Millions in this country would like to be able to say they've done what you have done. That's something to be very proud of!

mrsewert

Great advice Robin!

JDMPWR

At what point does a person decide that it's time to embrace your flaws and just try and stay healthy by maintaining weight?

Never!!!! You go till you are happy with what you see or you have exhausted all non surgical options to get what you want and then you decide if you want to take that next BIG step or not.

I know I have a spare tire that is shinking but I have fat on my inner thighs, butt cheeks, rear flanks and lower stomach that WILL LEAVE MY BODY one way or the other!!!

Hence why I shoot for 8% body fat and if not ill save and get a trunk lift. I am too young and too studdly to have saggy skin and a wrinklie butt that looks like the face of a baby pug.

clioandboy

I am too young and too studdly to have saggy skin and a wrinklie butt that looks like the face of a baby pug.

lol! LMAO my lardy *kitten* that is!:laugh:

marielenrdz

lmao...jtuner!

Robin...thank you, thank you, thank you for your professional advice and personal encouragement. I will definetely start doing some more strengthening and weight work. I really push the elliptical and walking because it focus's on my lower half. It is frustrating that there are no true spot reducers that can zone in on those horrific trouble areas! I'm going to keep trooping along and tweaking my routines. Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a wonderful post that we will all benefit from! :flowerforyou: