TDEE too low to lose weight???

1princesswarrior

All within last January, I was the same height then and now. And I get that, but most people wouldn't be happy gaining 30 lbs of fat ( since no gym and ate bad from being miserable about no gym) and 110-115 was when I was happyy with myself. I'm not gonna accept myself 30 more lbs when I don't feel comfortable whatsoever. I gotta work my *kitten* off to get back lady!! I just don't know how much to eat or burn all because I feel like nothing makes a deficit.

Losing the weight will not make you happy. There's nothing wrong with accepting yourself for who you are now. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. But loving yourself is far more important than obsessing over it like your life depends on it. I understand that desire to feel beautiful but it doesn't come from weight loss. It comes from within.

Trust me. I lost 50 lbs for my second time with that same mind set. I thought it would set me free and I was left shattered with the realization that until I loved myself inside, I'd pick myself apart for every imaginable flaw. You are beautiful. You always will be

Thanks I get that. But if that were the case everyone working out to improve them selves and their confidence/get back to a weight they use to be/ whatever the situation is, if that were the case all those situations could get told to just love themselves how they are but there's nothing wrong with wanting to lose the 30 lbs you gained from eating junk bc it's not meant to be there haha it's only there bc I ate bad. I can maintain the weight I was before I ate poorly. I'm ready to work my *kitten* off to lose it back and be confident again!

...you didn't understand any of that, did you?

U said losing the weight won't make me happy, but keeping this extra thirty won't either.

I gained weight because I wasn't happy and had no self-confidence. I thought losing weight would help my self-confidence. Well, 80 lbs down and I realized it's not losing the weight that has changed my confidence or how I look at myself, it's the work that I've put into it, the drive, and have a support system around me (including a wonderful group of MFP friends) telling me that I can do it. It's being able to do the things I set out to do, running that extra 1/2 mile, or lifting an extra 20 lbs - that is what gives me confidence. Not a scale number or how I look in the mirror.

I have just realized this when I was laid up with surgery a little over a month ago and had some time to think about how far I've come in the past year.

Don't pin your happiness on a scale number, you need to search deep inside, find someone to talk to, anyone, not necessarily a counselor.

MissKris14

Losing the weight will not make you happy. There's nothing wrong with accepting yourself for who you are now. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. But loving yourself is far more important than obsessing over it like your life depends on it. I understand that desire to feel beautiful but it doesn't come from weight loss. It comes from within.

Trust me. I lost 50 lbs for my second time with that same mind set. I thought it would set me free and I was left shattered with the realization that until I loved myself inside, I'd pick myself apart for every imaginable flaw. You are beautiful. You always will be

Sorry, but for a lot of people, losing weight makes them VERY happy. Beauty is a subjective perception. I used to be miserable and hated the way I looked, and now I'm pleased as punch. My life has improved 100 times over. That didn't come from me learning to "love myself inside," it changed because I lost 50 lbs and got plastic surgery. And that's OKAY. Not everyone who wants to lose weight has got some inner emotional baggage that they have to fix in order to be happy in life. There is nothing wrong with someone deriving happiness from self-improvement.

Doesn't negate my point that if you aren't happy inside, outer appearance doesn't magically fix it. I guess that's too deep of a concept?

Nope, where you went wrong was assuming that if a person has a problem with the way they look or how much they weigh, that means they aren't happy inside. Let's not generalize. For a lot of people, they can be very happy "inside" but hate the way they look on the outside. And for those people, weight loss really is a kind of magic wand that improves confidence, self-esteem, and yes, overall happiness.

SugaryLynx

Losing the weight will not make you happy. There's nothing wrong with accepting yourself for who you are now. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. But loving yourself is far more important than obsessing over it like your life depends on it. I understand that desire to feel beautiful but it doesn't come from weight loss. It comes from within.

Trust me. I lost 50 lbs for my second time with that same mind set. I thought it would set me free and I was left shattered with the realization that until I loved myself inside, I'd pick myself apart for every imaginable flaw. You are beautiful. You always will be

Sorry, but for a lot of people, losing weight makes them VERY happy. Beauty is a subjective perception. I used to be miserable and hated the way I looked, and now I'm pleased as punch. My life has improved 100 times over. That didn't come from me learning to "love myself inside," it changed because I lost 50 lbs and got plastic surgery. And that's OKAY. Not everyone who wants to lose weight has got some inner emotional baggage that they have to fix in order to be happy in life. There is nothing wrong with someone deriving happiness from self-improvement.

Doesn't negate my point that if you aren't happy inside, outer appearance doesn't magically fix it. I guess that's too deep of a concept?

Nope, where you went wrong was assuming that if a person has a problem with the way they look or how much they weigh, that means they aren't happy inside. Let's not generalize. For a lot of people, they can be very happy "inside" but hate the way they look on the outside. And for those people, weight loss really is a kind of magic wand that improves confidence, self-esteem, and yes, overall happiness.

hearthwood

What's your resting calorie burn? MFP has estimated that in according to the information you put in. I wear a Jawbone UP that syncs with MFP and my resting calorie burn today was 1,120 calories and my active burn, because I didn't workout or do my 10k steps was only 187.

misskarne

You keep avoiding this question so I'll ask it again: how old were you when you were 110?

You do realise that a full grown woman naturally weighs more than a child or a young teen, right?

jrhanna84

Maybe it's time to cut our losses here peeps. The op has been given a TON of really good information and doesn't want to hear it. The important questions aren't being answered at all and a borderline unhealthy 110# seems to be the "magic" number no matter how many times they have been told that it's really close to unhealthy. I've been following this thread pretty much since the beginning...and the op is in my opinion un/knowingly "promoting" a unhealthy journey, which violates MFP's terms. On top of this it says that the op joined in December of 2012, which is another violation...it would put them at 16/17 when they signed up. When I signed up it asked me if I was over the age of 18 and I've been using MFP on and off for two YEARS.

Just thought that I would throw this out there as something to think about.