Chubby chaser

loveless_me

My boyfriend fell in love with me despite my extra layers of fat. I recently asked him why. he said ''Your weight has never been an issue, in fact I find chubby women sexy''. He tells me I am perfect the way I am, and is always kind and supportive. I know I am lucky to have him, but I feel like when I do lose all the fat I want to, that he wont find me as attractive. Or maybe he is lieing about finding chubby women sexy, because his internet history tells a different story.
Feeling so insecure.

fullersun35

It sounds like this has very little to do with your boyfriend and more about your lack of confidence. You need to find a way to be comfortable in your own skin.

LiveLoveLift67

Your boyfriend is with you because he cares about you. He met you heavy and was attracted to you . I am sure that as you start to lose the weight and look fitter ( not skinny) he will still love you just the same. And if he doesent , then that will be his loss and mistake. Do what you have to do to be fit and healthy for you....those insecure feelings will soon be replaced by confidence i guarentee it. Ive been there.

Oh and also, quit checking his internet history. trust the man and trust the process. Good luck to you!

loveless_me

Hmmmmm Maybe... I don't think I will be until I lose a lot of fat though XD

victoria43068

Someone should love you for WHO you are, not what your weight is. If he truly loves you, it will not matter if you lose some weight, he will still love you! You need to do whatever makes you happy and healthy, so you feel good about yourself! Have you talked with him regarding your plans, and that you are feeling insecure? He should be giving you positive feedback. Support from everyone on this site is very helpful.. we are all on the same journey! Good Luck to you!

loveless_me

His internet history just ''popped up'' when I was on his laptop XD hahaha.
Thanks guys.

Madame_Goldbricker

Self confidence is one of the most attractive traits a person can possess. He says he loves you for you accept it for what it is.

In the nicest possible way look at it like this - if he didn't like YOU he wouldn't be with you.

TeachTheGirl

He finds YOU attractive. You can question his other actions another time, right now recognize that he's at least trying to be supportive even if you feel some of his actions are to the contrary.

Velum_cado

Talk to him. "I find chubby women sexy" doesn't mean "I *don't* find thin/average/athletic, etc women sexy". You need to talk to your partner.

Talk. To. Your. Partner.

Cathalain

My husband said much the same thing when I met him - I was 343 pounds at the time. I had a hard time believing him, too, at first, but now that I've lost a LOT more (112 more!), he's still fine with me the way I am, so it's a good possibility that he's being sincere.

You really won't know until.... well, until you lose it.

I wouldn't put too much stock in the porn stuff - it's generic. It's like watching marionettes perform - they're all cookie cutter body types, more or less look the same. But if it bothers you, you should definitely let him know that it's a boundary with you that you don't want crossed.

ETA: I'm assuming it's porn, but I could be wrong. Either way, it bears talking to him - communication is key.

asciident

We can't answer for him specifically because none of us know what's in his heart and mind.

That said, just because a man finds chubby women generally attractive does not mean he will a) stop finding a specific woman attractive if her shape changes or b) find that type EXCLUSIVELY attractive in general unless he's a fetishist. He's probably not a fetishist, although I guess it is possible.

My husband fell in love with me while I was fat. He finds me attractive fat. I know for a fact he also finds thin women attractive and will not by necessity be unattracted to me when I get closer to my goals. Because I've talked to him and because I'm confident and secure in our relationship.

4homer

ask him

lukewind

From a guys perspective I can tell you that a lot of men find women of all shapes and sizes sexy. So I would not worry about his browser history. Personally I have always been attracted to almost any size or shape, but what it comes down to in the end is personality, at least for me.

PinkyFett

I legit like bigger guys. Maybe he does like bigger women? If I was in serious relationship with someone, I wouldn't leave them because they got healthy and lost the weight, though. If he loves you, he won't leave you.

chrissyrenee1029

If he loves you, he won't leave you.

^^^ This.

I have been with my husband for 11 years. In that time I have gone from 170 down to 140 up to 240 and now I'm on my way back down. There have been times all along the way that I didn't feel attractive or good about myself. He never fails to remind me that if he didn't love me he wouldn't be with me, and he loves me no matter what size I am.

The best thing to do is talk to your partner about how you're feeling. It's the only way to deal with your insecurities.

Meerataila

There are men who like the whole range of sizes. My first boyfriend was like that. If I'd had a lick of sense, I'd have made sure all my future boyfriends were, too. The way I was always going up and down the scale, it would have been a definite plus. This first boyfriend would go buy out the gas station porn collection (no internet back in the dinosaur days), and he was just as happy with the big girl magazines as the regular skinny girl ones.