Why do I still hate my body?
Chelsea_Marinos
Posts: 62 Member
I feel like the biggest hypocrite right now! I always, always tell my girl friends that if you would not say something mean and hateful to your best friend about her body do not say it to yourself while looking in the mirror. I am really struggling today! I have lost 37 lbs so far and my goal is 50-55 lbs. I know that there have been significant changes but when I look at a current picture next to an old picture I only see minimal ones. I don't understand why this is. I haven't been at this weight (in the 150's) since my senior year of high school! almost 8 years. And when I started this I said "if only I could get back to what I weighed before I would be happy." But the fact that I am not happy scares me. I want to love my body. I preach that to my friends constantly and I look at them and say/think wow if only I had her tummy or her legs but they aren't happy either. What is wrong with our world?! And anyone else experience this? Any tricks on learning to love yourself? Thanks for listening 
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Replies
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I deal with the same thing. I'm actually struggling to meet my goals because I can't even start to like the body I'm in now. I'm just constantly getting so discouraged and depressed over it. I would like some ideas on how to stay positive too!0
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oh my goodness! I struggle with that and have in the past few days been saying "ok I will just never be happy" I have as of today lost almost 47 pounds and though I know I have lost about 4 pant sizes I still am not happy. I lose motivation when I feel not happy. I look at myself and say i'm still not there, I still need to lose x amount. I have surpassed where I originally set my goal. I wonder if I will ever be happy! this is probably the lowest I have weighed since I don't know when, not even high school!
I am totally right there with you! I don't have any tips or tricks, other than I keep telling myself to stop and try to be happy, stop the negative in my head, though quite honestly it hasn't helped me all that much!0 -
With many people, the media, Hollywood, fitness magazines, etc. use models and people who have great genetics. The problem is that people are comparing themselves with these people. And that's what you need to stop doing.
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You may need to reevaluate your goal weight. I don't think you should learn to accept figure flaws. Why not see how you look when you approach or reach your original goal and then decide if you need to continue to lose weight. It may be that you will need to weigh less than you planned on to have the exact figure you want.0
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I have ups and downs too, I think I know how you feel. I've come so far so fast that when I look in the mirror I still see the work that needs to happen (everything that is wrong) versus what I've been able to accomplish (the good stuff). At some logical level, I know for sure that I've made great progress...but I think (and I hear!) that it takes a bit longer for the self-image to catch up with what is actually going on. I think you look awesome and I think you should really be proud and keep it up. Even when you're not feeling encouraged yourself, who knows how much encouragement & inspiration you may be providing for others. Good luck and thanks for sharing!0
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I've been there, more times than I can count. You need to read "Love your body, love your life." That book changed me for the better, you can get it on amazon, well worth it. Regardless, you are beautiful, and have come a long way, don't let negative body image control your life.0
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Its so hard when you WANT to love your appearance but you cant make yourself stop nit picking! When I look in the mirror and say "wow your love handles are disgusting" I say "Hey Chelsea, would you say that to Ali or Alaina?" The answer of course is always no but I keep doing it! so frustrating. I guess it just takes time and reminders to ourselves! I wish I was the only one with this problem. I wish you all much success on loving your own body and building the on confidence you've earned on your weight loss journeys! And thanks for your kind words and advice!0
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I will definitely be buying this book! Thank you!0
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Some days I think, "wow, I've got a nice stomach!" or "wow, I look so thin when I turn sideways!" and other days I think "oh damn I'm such a hambeast, people must be disgusted when I wear shorts or tight clothes."
I think self-esteem and body image is always somewhat of a rollercoaster. I think it's normal.0 -
I have to really work at valuing myself and not just my appearance. I think this is a common struggle because of our image obsessed world. The only way I know how to do this, is to pick things about me, not just my appearance(but those too) that I genuinely love - my eyes, my smile, my hair, the way I love my family, the way they love me, etc And focus on those. We get so used to being focused on the things we don't like, that we forget to look at what we do. I really think that shifting my focus is key in helping me to accept me. There are things right now, that are awesome about you. Focus on those and maybe, just maybe, the other stuff won't seem so big anymore. You sound great to me.
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I have ups and downs too, I think I know how you feel. I've come so far so fast that when I look in the mirror I still see the work that needs to happen (everything that is wrong) versus what I've been able to accomplish (the good stuff). At some logical level, I know for sure that I've made great progress...but I think (and I hear!) that it takes a bit longer for the self-image to catch up with what is actually going on. I think you look awesome and I think you should really be proud and keep it up. Even when you're not feeling encouraged yourself, who knows how much encouragement & inspiration you may be providing for others. Good luck and thanks for sharing!
Thank you!! Your post has really helped me 0 -
I hear ya. I'm not even comparing myself to celebrities. I'm comparing myself to old me and i liked what she looked like better. At a normal weight i look like a holocaust victim because of the gross saggy skin of a 310 pound person hanging on a 140 pound body. I looked way better fat. Lol0
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Some days I think, "wow, I've got a nice stomach!" or "wow, I look so thin when I turn sideways!" and other days I think "oh damn I'm such a hambeast, people must be disgusted when I wear shorts or tight clothes."
I think self-esteem and body image is always somewhat of a rollercoaster. I think it's normal.
This happens to me too. Literally yesterday I looked in the mirror and thought "wow looking good sexy!" Then I went shopping and started trying on summer shorts and dresses and I was like..."What happened?! How does it look like you gained 40 pounds in a matter of hours! I can never wear shorts this summer that is for sure!"0 -
I think there is the mental aspect that can be a hurdle (to love your body at whatever weight you may be and whatever size, shape ect). So there's that. But there's also an additional component that often gets overlooked by women, which is weightlifting. The media teaches women that they need to diet and do tons of cardio and lose a ton of weight in order to feel good about themselves, which is simply untrue. I've done that and even being at a very low weight I was still unhappy with my body. It wasn't until I started weightlifting, eating more, and putting on muscle mass that I actually started to love my body and it's new shape- stronger and not as weak, frail, and flabby. And even if you still have weight you want to lose, you can still lift weights of course. I think that really is a key component to building a stronger body that you feel more confident in. And when I say weightlifting I mean heavy weights.0
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You may need to reevaluate your goal weight. I don't think you should learn to accept figure flaws. Why not see how you look when you approach or reach your original goal and then decide if you need to continue to lose weight. It may be that you will need to weigh less than you planned on to have the exact figure you want.
I don't think so much that I want to accept my figure flaws as much as I want to be proud of my progress and not afraid to wear shorts and a tank top when I go running. I see someone who is obese when I am just over weight.I think 140 is a good goal for someone 5'7 but that doesn't mean when I get there I will stop working on toning and making improvements or go back to eating junk and sitting on the couch. Thank you for your inspiration and advice 0 -
I think it's normal. We just have to remember that we are all built differently and keep working for what we want. I sometimes feel like I'll never be happy and there will always be something I need to improve.0
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I see women 100+ lbs. heavier than me that look beautiful and a lot more comfortable in their own skin. Or, perhaps they look more comfortable in their clothes? I can't bear to wear a swimsuit (I honestly have never felt comfortable wearing a swimsuit in public, no matter how *thin* I've been), but plenty of women don't have this problem. It seems to me that half the battle is dressing appropriately for your body shape/size. Other than that, I judge myself more by my work/life accomplishments than my body shape. If I am kicking butt at my job (and life), I don't feel too worried about not being a supermodel. After all, I don't get paid to be a supermodel. :laugh:0
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Welcome to every person in the history of ever.0
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Maybe you should start thinking more about how much better and healthier you feel instead of what the mirror shows. Results come with time and if you get down on yourself when you look in the mirror then change it. No matter your weight or how you may feel remember its always whats on the inside that counts. If you feel thin and beautiful then you will appear thin and beautiful. Just keep doing what you're doing and maybe change the way you look at yourself and see how that feels. I wish you the best of luck0
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I'm about to go philosophical on you. So, from what I understand from your post, doesn't this mean that your body's appearance isn't what will make you happy then? Sure, get into shape to be healthy and to live long free from diseases but in the end, happiness comes from something that the eyes can't see. IMO.0
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I've been there before. I gained weight and lost weight. Even when I was at my smallest, I still had issues. It was then I realized it had nothing to do with my weight but with my poor body image. No matter the progress, I always saw flaws and fault, and saying to myself, if I only had x, y, and z, I'd be a much happier person. So even though with all the flaws and work I still needed to do, even though I looked great, my body went back to the place my mind never left, a place of heaviness, and here I am, overweight again.
I am here to tell you that weight loss is not the answer to loving your body. You have to fall in love and be in love with you today, unconditionally. It will be a journey and a long path, but it's worth it. Getting fit builds confidence, but it's not the foundation of it. Find your foundation in confidence and in love of self, no matter how much you weigh. You are fly regardless. I don't know where your faith is, but mine is anchored in the Lord, and I've tapped in to who I am in HIM and how He sees me, and not the world. That's whats helping me tap into and understand the foundation of my confidence, my image, and my being. Me getting fit, becoming healthier, more joyful, and a better person is building upon that foundation.
So lady, all I can tell you is to find your strengths, find your beauty, and find your confidence no matter where you stand on the scale or the measuring tape today. Once that's there, the rest will fall into place. Be blessed. \o/0 -
That is a fabulous idea!! Thank you!I want to love my body. Any tricks on learning to love yourself? Thanks for listening
Consider volunteering in a nursing home or hospital. You'll see people of all ages who have bodies that don't work. You'll realize you love having a body that is able to sustain your life. It's your body that sustains your life. Hating your body is hating life. Your own in particular. I know this sounds glib and simplistic, but if you spend some time in either of these settings mentioned above, you'll realize this.0 -
I'm about to go philosophical on you. So, from what I understand from your post, doesn't this mean that your body's appearance isn't what will make you happy then? Sure, get into shape to be healthy and to live long free from diseases but in the end, happiness comes from something that the eyes can't see. IMO.
True this! Getting in shape, living a healthy life, and feeling good is important on one level, but you have to look beyond that level to find true happiness.0 -
Thank you your perspective really really has made an impact. I never thought about that. I mean I have always though "you should be greatful for what you have " etc etc but it feels completely different when you put a face to it. I am going to call around my area this week! I just got a new job that leaves me with an extra day off 0
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Unfortunately we are bombarded with images of beautiful women who are photoshopped to look even more beautiful, and we see the way men respond to those 'perfect' women. It does make it hard to see our own beauty, and to be happy with our bodies. I wish I had a better response, but since I currently can't stand to look at myself in a mirror for long, I don't have any tips on how to love your body.0
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I know know how u feel...
some years ago I suddently realised that I was fat, so I lost 10kg reaching a BMI of 17. I was freaking skinny bit I still wanted to lose weight. Now I understand that the problem was in my mind. In the last 2 years I gained those kilos back and now I hate my appearance, I hate my legs and my tummy and my cheeks, I hide myself in baggy clothes band I avoid to go out. I'm so insecure about myself band my body image...
I don't know what to say to help you, sorry! But I read the comments and the people here gave you fabulous suggestions :-) Anyway, I think we should do things that makes us feel a better person (such as volunteering) and we'll feel beautiful in the inside and the outside!0 -
I think women would be a lot happier if they stopped worrying about how men think and respond.we see the way men respond to those 'perfect' women.0 -
Lift weights. I ignored all of the tips on here about lifting weights in conjunction with the loss ( as it was coming off so easily) and now I feel the same about the baggy areas I now have. At least they were plump when filled with fat!
Seriously though the only thing that is getting me through this is a stubbornness to see my body change shape and become strong, the focus has shifted from being 'thin', to now being toned. Its only going to come through hard work, which is boring I know, but the only way.
I assumed Id feel better thinner and I don't massively. What I know will make me feel amazing is when I can see my stomach muscles and have definition.
Good luck hun.0
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