Perfection

chelsifina
chelsifina Posts: 346 Member
edited September 22 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm a psychotherapist and I'm doing a bit a research this morning, and I am reminded of a topic discussed by Karen Horney (chick analyst - buddy of Freud's) who posited that perfectionism is sadism directed at the self. In other words, demanding the impossible goal of perfection from ourselves is a form of self-harm, as we can never be perfect and yet punish ourselves through guilt, shame, etc when we inevitably don't reach that goal. The lesson for me here is that the lifestyle I am trying to achieve through MFP is not a destination to be reached, but rather a point to which I will continuously return and depart. "Failing" is part of the process, to be expected, to be approached with curiosity rather than judgement, and better named for what it is rather than such a pejorative word like "failing". Better to say, "I ate more calories than my goal" or "I did not exercise as much as I intended" as this is a position from which I can be curious and can learn more about myself and my process.

Replies

  • Mollydolly10
    Mollydolly10 Posts: 431 Member
    Love this! GREAT point! I remember learning about Karen Horney in high school and everyone would laugh at her last name and the irony in relation to Freud :-P
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
    The lesson for me here is that the lifestyle I am trying to achieve through MFP is not a destination to be reached, but rather a point to which I will continuously return and depart.

    Thanks for the reminder. I'm not nearly as eloquent, but I try to remember to live NOW and am in agreement that this is all part of the process. It's not like my life will begin anew when I reach my first set of goals. :wink:
  • xDeannaGarciax
    xDeannaGarciax Posts: 675
    Very true! No one is perfect but as long as you continue to try to better yourself and your health. . . then I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. I had my mother in law tell me the other day- "Look at me I'm 51 and I'm still trying to better myself" I think trying to be "better" in all different aspects of life, is a life long journey, there is no point in life at which we will accomplish the goal of perfection, because in my eye's there is no such thing but there is always room for improvment. Everyone has flaws- but just working on those "flaws" and making an effort to be better, is an achievment in itself!!

    Thanks for posting!:flowerforyou:
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