some vegetarian i am. confessions of a guilty dieter.

modernfemme

Let me fill you in.

I finally went vegetarian after many, many months of serious contemplation. Some of the **** I've seen is bad. Animals being skinned alive, cows being butchered in slaughterhouses. It finally took its toll, and after being a meat eateer most of my life, I made the switch cold turkey back in March.

Since then, I've probably caved 3 or 4 times. Always sushi - but tonight, it was tilapia.

Make no mistake - people who eat fish aren't vegetarian; tonight I was indeed a fakeatarian. The reason I tried it again was because looking at the calories for eating out, all the low calorie, super healthy dishes tend to be seafood. Or hell, any meat dish. Veggie dishes are always 6 cheese ziti, or some kind of over-calorie salad. As guilty as I feel, I am glad I did it. It wasn't that good. It didn't bring this feeling of "omg, look what I've been missing!" As my husband ate his veggie burger, I felt bummed. I don't think I'll be doing that again. I have officially got it out of my system and maybe one day I'll be on the verge of going Vegan if the fake by-products become any good.

Maybe I feel guiltier over the fact that although I wouldn't eat dolphin, I don't feel nearly as bad as eating shrimp or some other fish. (which probably explains why my ****-up foods have been seafood) It doesn't evoke the same anger and sadness in me as thinking about eating beef, pork, or chicken.

Feeling like a huge hypocrite, but from this point forward, I'll be doing the right thing and sticking to my guns. Until organic meat and animals treated more humanly are more accessible to me, I can't eat meat. I don't buy fur; I don't buy leather. It's an important topic to me, but it's hard when trying to lose weight. Conflicting interests at times. Oh well. No one said losing weight was easy!!

ZeltaFrost

well ur better then me byfar. i love meat and hate veggies -_- so rock on sister!

Amanda141982

It's okay- I caved a few times the first couple of YEARS. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years now and still have occasional cravings. But have not given in to them in 5 years. It's totally expected because you've been eating meat most of your life. It becomes so desensitized that it's hard to make the correlation between your yummy turkey sandwich and a slaughterhouse.

I'll encourage you on your journey! I don't wear leather either and it's been an interesting road trying to be fashionable. I buy all my dress shoes at Payless or Target and I get my fancy high heels from White House/Black market. Nordstrom now carries a handbag brand called "big buddha"- I love their purses! (It's often hard to find non-leather stuff that actually lasts).

It sounds like you have your head in the right place- and that makes being a vegetarian sooo much easier. There are so many food options out there- you can definitely make it!

niknok28

Hey it happens. The important thing is that you are aware of the reality of factory farmed or just plain poorly treated animals. It is a very real issue that many are happy to ignore.

We only eat animals that we raise or that a local farm which we have visited and know the farmer has raised. Our animals have tons of room, toys, sunshine, cuddling and organic food. While it was weird to adjust to I know how these animals were treated and that they had a happy healthy life.

If we didn't have these options I'd go vegetarian as well simply to not promote the system. No soy though (bleh) I'm horribly allergic.

kayemme

one can be a vegetarian and eat fish. one cannot be a vegan and eat fish.

and tilapia isn't so bad, assuming you know where it comes from... http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/SeafoodWatch/web/sfw_factsheet.aspx?gid=27

pepperdove

Actually, fwiw, one can neither be a vegetarian nor a vegan while eating fish. Which is beside the point and mere semantics.

We are not martyrs, nor are we angels. We are humans, and we do the best we can. My biggest problem with the vegetarian movement (I've been either veggie or vegan for 10 years now) is all the labeling and the guilt. My poor husband used to beat himself up terribly every time he ate a muffin made with eggs, or took a sip of my coffee with cream in it. In the end, its not that one bite of food in your mouth that makes you a good person, its the path you walk.

tl;dr don't stress - it gets easier the longer you keep at it.


aaaand... first post! XD

NoAdditives

Don't feel bad. When I was 12 I made the decision to become vegetarian. I tried to make it a New Year's resolution to stop eating meat altogether but I quickly found myself slipping. I decided that I'd just take it slow, resist as often as I could. I think pretty quickly I was only eating meat about once a month, and within a few months I was done for good. It was difficult, especially since my whole family ate meat. So, it's hard at first but you'll get there.

I lasted for about 10 years until I started getting sick a lot. (I wasn't very good at eating properly at that point.) A couple years later I went back to being vegetarian but gave it up again when I got pregnant. I still have my morals, I still hate eating animals. But I do it because I know it makes my babies healthier. Maybe one day I'll be vegetarian again but I have no idea how I would handle the questions from my kids, especially while they're little.

kayemme

Actually, fwiw, one can neither be a vegetarian nor a vegan while eating fish. Which is beside the point and mere semantics.

We are not martyrs, nor are we angels. We are humans, and we do the best we can. My biggest problem with the vegetarian movement (I've been either veggie or vegan for 10 years now) is all the labeling and the guilt. My poor husband used to beat himself up terribly every time he ate a muffin made with eggs, or took a sip of my coffee with cream in it. In the end, its not that one bite of food in your mouth that makes you a good person, its the path you walk.

tl;dr don't stress - it gets easier the longer you keep at it.

there's more to being a vegetarian than simply not eating meat.

fish is on the okay list for >> many << vegetarians. maybe not strict ones ( i.e. vegans). you shouldn't feel guilty, but like you say, you should walk the path that is right for you.

there's no crime in eating eggs from chickens that have been raised with love. there's no crime in having a cream from a cow that has been treated kindly, allowed to graze freely and otherwise has lived a very kind life. there's no crime in eating a fish that is farmed and harvested responsibly.

it's so much more than the >>> thing <<< we put in our mouths; it's all the things that we support by doing so that is so much more important.

so don't beat yourself up (op); learn from it and go from there.

edit: (and just for the record - not that it really matters - i'm totally *not* a vegetarian, but eat very, very little meat. my boyfriend is a vegetarian of over 25 years; i don't cook meat nor fish in our home, but i, myself, won't always refuse it if someone brings it to my home or serves it at their home.)

my original reply was just to give you the link to the mba - they keep a really great sustainable fish list. from what i understand it's very trustworthy; since i don't ever buy or eat fish myself, it's not my first priority

mccorml

trust me if your a omnivore like most of us you dont consider fish part of the meat kingdom

kayemme

looking at the calories for eating out, all the low calorie, super healthy dishes tend to be seafood. Or hell, any meat dish. Veggie dishes are always 6 cheese ziti, or some kind of over-calorie salad.

where do you live? we're so lucky today to have in many cities and towns vegetarian restaurants (which often will serve some fish, eggs or dairy, but not as their primary dishes)

20 years ago, the idea of a primarily vegetarian restaurant was unheard of! also, something we do here in providence is we have "vegetarian potlucks" with a group of people, each person hosting the potluck at their house once a "season". it's great because we get to try all kinds of great vegetarian food that we hadn't thought of preparing before.

in my opinion (and it is really only that...) if you're in a situation like that, you just do the best you can do, be grateful for what is in front of you and move on. good luck with it!

modernfemme

Thanks to everyone who responded.

Just to clear a few things up - people who eat only fish are called pescetarians. True "strict" vegetarians don't eat any animals- fish or otherwise. This is fact.

I know a decade ago, it was commonplace to call yourself vegetarian even if you ate fish, but there is now a distinction. It's not easy but I think it's worth it. If everyone went vegetarian for a day, it would give such a message to the 13 slaughterhouses that are ran by what... 3 companies now?

I've seen horrible videos where large fish, including dolphin, were cut open and left to bleed out. It was a terrible sight and they are definitely a part of the animal kingdom.

The problem is, there are a few vegetarian restaurants near me, but getting calorie information is pretty impossible. At least if I go to a chain I have some idea what I'm eating. I could always horde 1k calories and hope for the best at dinner time hahah.

NH_1970

If you want humane practice, try going to a local farm (they still have those) instead of buying from a grocery store. Ask them about their butchering practice, you can even make friends with your chicken before you eat it if you choose.

dmo22

After 5 years of being a vegetarian the foods I miss arent meat, but gelatin products. I used to love gummy anything! and the vegan versions are kinda disappointing, Vegan marshmallows have gotten notably better though : )

✿KẙMb529✿

I was so happy to find your post and all the responses. I have been a vegetarian for a year now and have put on a some lbs. since then. I find it hard to eat lean proteins.. I understand your frustration eating out. Luckily (sort of) my husband and I are cutting back on our spending and only eat out once a week which really helps. When we do eat out, I like to go to Asian and Thai restaurants. The tofu dishes are incredible. I know these can still be high calorie, but if your choosy, you can find a pretty healthy dish. Plus, they are no doubt better for you than the cheesy pasty dishes at other restaurants (which I still have a weakness for at any italian restaurant). I'm no role model though! I just joined this website because I need to keep better track of my calories. I have a true weekness for sweets. I would love to add you and some of the other vegetarians on here to my friends! Oh, and please don't beat yourself up for the slip-up. Your intentions are there and you will succeed! :)

funkyspunky871

I don't mean to be rude, but this honestly doesn't make any sense to me. How do you slip up on something like that? I'm not a vegetarian and never will be, but I do respect the people who are. IMHO, I don't think anyone can call themselves a vegetarian after that. If you were a real vegetarian, you would have chosen not to eat and then have something at home later... Right? You have trouble practicing your own beliefs! Please explain.

RiverWild

I was really happy to see your post as well. I'm also a vegetarian who is unhappy about the higher calorie choices for dining out. It is harder to find lean decent vegetarian options. Hang in there.

littlewhirl

You guys, take the pressure off, seriously. You're just a pescetarian, Relax! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pescetarianism

kelsully

I guess I would be defined as a pescatarian....I don't eat fish often, maybe once or twice a month..if that, so I wil call myself a vegetarian for ease of explaining to others at a BBQ or something why I am not eating the chicken...etc. People understand vegetarian...most people need to have pescatarian explained to them. With that said, I am not a strict vegetarian in the sense that I will eat things prepared with Chicken broth and just not eat the hunks of chicken. For me it is a flavor, texture, ickiness factor though.

Sometimes "clean eaters" have an unclean day. Sometimes a vegetarian has a bite of meat...doesn't undo all the past decisions unless it does so in that person's mind. If the vegetarin had some tilipia and that person then decides to eat fish a few times a week and still wants to use the term vegetarian then maybe they are kidding themself but if from time to time a situation arises in which a meat product is consumed but that vegetarian is still living a committed lifestyle otherwise then give him/her a break.

kelsully

I was really happy to see your post as well. I'm also a vegetarian who is unhappy about the higher calorie choices for dining out. It is harder to find lean decent vegetarian options. Hang in there.

Sometimes I will order few side dishes. Sometimes I will order a meat dish with the meat left off...You know one of those dishes that could be so good if it weren't fot the chicken breast. Soemtimes I will see ingrediants on the menu and ask if they can prepare something to my liking...ie I loved grilled onions and mushrooms that they put on a mushroom and swiss burger. I eat cheese. So i might ask for the toppings to a mushroom and swiss burger without the burger...Also, if at a steakhouse with my DH I might ask for the mushrooms that he might get with his steak but served over the rice side dish plus a side of steam veggies.

jrlenig

The reason you are vegetarian is b/c the treatment of animals you can be a pesce-vegetarians. I say eat fish it is good for you, I am a nothing I eat everything I limited myself to only fish and chicken and I had seriously issues that couldn't be solved through a vitamin)or more fruits or veggies!), but that was my body. I do try as I might to eat only cage free but that can be pricey and with 2 kids at home a overworked bubby and me back in school full time, it doesn't all happen budget wise!

kanonxbou47

I'm an awful vegetarian...
I started because of the Jizabel chapter of Godchild(essentially, that's a manga), and a mural I saw. It sounds stupid, but both of those had a lot of truth to them, and made me think about it. I love my cat so much, and the only reason we don't eat cats is because back when those traditions started, cats were too hard to catch. So I just can't eat meat anymore...(that's the abridged version)

I live with my parents, because I'm in high school, and basically, they make steak a lot, and try to take me to fast food when we're in a hurry, so I've caved a few times.

But yesterday, I had to go out to eat, so I went to Noodles, and just ordered buttered noodles.
There are salads at fast food places, and stuff like that.
If you're at a Japanese restaurant (sushi?) you can get Miso soup with tofu. Miso is dlicious, and you can also make it easily at home.
Um.
Well, think the best solution to caving when you eat out is to eat at home instead. You can make good vegetarian stuff.
I always feel good about myself when I make a lunch that's really healthy and not cruel to animals.
Good luck!
(this post is sortof all over the place, sorry)

kanonxbou47

That would be fine, except chickens and fish aren't treated too nicely either, and if you're a vegetarian because of animal cruelty, which she is, that's not what you want.

littlewhirl

I guess I would be defined as a pescatarian....I don't eat fish often, maybe once or twice a month..if that, so I wil call myself a vegetarian for ease of explaining to others at a BBQ or something why I am not eating the chicken...etc. People understand vegetarian...most people need to have pescatarian explained to them. With that said, I am not a strict vegetarian in the sense that I will eat things prepared with Chicken broth and just not eat the hunks of chicken. For me it is a flavor, texture, ickiness factor though.

Sometimes "clean eaters" have an unclean day. Sometimes a vegetarian has a bite of meat...doesn't undo all the past decisions unless it does so in that person's mind. If the vegetarin had some tilipia and that person then decides to eat fish a few times a week and still wants to use the term vegetarian then maybe they are kidding themself but if from time to time a situation arises in which a meat product is consumed but that vegetarian is still living a committed lifestyle otherwise then give him/her a break.

Of course, it is much easier to say vegetarian when eating out or explaining to anyone why you don't want to eat meat. I was simply saying, for one's own peace of mind they can think of themselves as a pescetarian (or an omnivore if you eat chicken stock, etc.) so they don't have to beat themselves up if they feel like having fish once in a while. That's all.

The bottom line is, do what YOU feel is right for your particular situation. People go veg for lots of different reasons.

kayemme

The problem is, there are a few vegetarian restaurants near me, but getting calorie information is pretty impossible. At least if I go to a chain I have some idea what I'm eating. I could always horde 1k calories and hope for the best at dinner time hahah.

yah, but by going to a chain, you're also supporting part of a problem where they will often purchase from large corporations that don't have your morals in check. it betters your local economy to buy from locals, even if they sometimes purchase from large corporations, too, because these are our neighbors. and at least with them, you might be able to explain why you choose to support them and maybe they can use that information to better their business to a changing clientele.

it's worth a few extra /unpredictable calories to support something in which you truly believe.

JMun

I'm a long suffering pescetarian!

I eat seafood selectively and still consume eggs and some dairy.

Its hard to live on a restrictive diet sometimes. I've been a pescetarian for 6 years (maybe longer?) so its just normal for me to question everything.

Is there chicken stock in your mashed potatoes? Are there bacon bits on your ceasar salad? ETC ETC

I'm pescetarian for environmental and compassionate reasons. If I can't kill it I won't eat it. Often times I just tell people that I'm a vegetarian because its easier than explaining my abnormal pescetarian lifestyle

The only thing I miss is chicken fingers.. sometimes when I've been at the pub and I've got the munchies I really really want chicken fingers... haven't caved yet

kelsully

I guess I would be defined as a pescatarian....I don't eat fish often, maybe once or twice a month..if that, so I wil call myself a vegetarian for ease of explaining to others at a BBQ or something why I am not eating the chicken...etc. People understand vegetarian...most people need to have pescatarian explained to them. With that said, I am not a strict vegetarian in the sense that I will eat things prepared with Chicken broth and just not eat the hunks of chicken. For me it is a flavor, texture, ickiness factor though.

Sometimes "clean eaters" have an unclean day. Sometimes a vegetarian has a bite of meat...doesn't undo all the past decisions unless it does so in that person's mind. If the vegetarin had some tilipia and that person then decides to eat fish a few times a week and still wants to use the term vegetarian then maybe they are kidding themself but if from time to time a situation arises in which a meat product is consumed but that vegetarian is still living a committed lifestyle otherwise then give him/her a break.

Of course, it is much easier to say vegetarian when eating out or explaining to anyone why you don't want to eat meat. I was simply saying, for one's own peace of mind they can think of themselves as a pescetarian (or an omnivore if you eat chicken stock, etc.) so they don't have to beat themselves up if they feel like having fish once in a while. That's all.

The bottom line is, do what YOU feel is right for your particular situation. People go veg for lots of different reasons.

Oh you are right...I eat what I like to eat. I don't eat meat because I don't like to. I am not held to any arbitrary rules. There is no one out there that makes rules for your diet..except you...If anyone wants to eat all orange food and bacon on every third Tuesday when they also eat green food etc then good for them...they can follow any rules they want and call it anything they want...I will go with my own gut...guided by research about nutritional content etc. In the very broad sense of the word I consider myself a vegetarian...in a more specific sense...mostly I don't eat meat. LOL
I think it may be helpful for some to have the correct label..ie pescatarian and that was a helpful addition to the thread

kdiamond

Let me fill you in.

I finally went vegetarian after many, many months of serious contemplation. Some of the **** I've seen is bad. Animals being skinned alive, cows being butchered in slaughterhouses. It finally took its toll, and after being a meat eateer most of my life, I made the switch cold turkey back in March.

Since then, I've probably caved 3 or 4 times. Always sushi - but tonight, it was tilapia.

Make no mistake - people who eat fish aren't vegetarian; tonight I was indeed a fakeatarian. The reason I tried it again was because looking at the calories for eating out, all the low calorie, super healthy dishes tend to be seafood. Or hell, any meat dish. Veggie dishes are always 6 cheese ziti, or some kind of over-calorie salad. As guilty as I feel, I am glad I did it. It wasn't that good. It didn't bring this feeling of "omg, look what I've been missing!" As my husband ate his veggie burger, I felt bummed. I don't think I'll be doing that again. I have officially got it out of my system and maybe one day I'll be on the verge of going Vegan if the fake by-products become any good.

Maybe I feel guiltier over the fact that although I wouldn't eat dolphin, I don't feel nearly as bad as eating shrimp or some other fish. (which probably explains why my ****-up foods have been seafood) It doesn't evoke the same anger and sadness in me as thinking about eating beef, pork, or chicken.

Feeling like a huge hypocrite, but from this point forward, I'll be doing the right thing and sticking to my guns. Until organic meat and animals treated more humanly are more accessible to me, I can't eat meat. I don't buy fur; I don't buy leather. It's an important topic to me, but it's hard when trying to lose weight. Conflicting interests at times. Oh well. No one said losing weight was easy!!

Well I think you hit the nail on the head - you feel guilty, and as others pointed out, they seem the skew the vegetarian movement at feeling guilty. Honestly, I can't think of one food item (besides protein/whey powder) that has enough protein to hit my protein goal that doesn't contain something from an animal. My brother in law who is an avid animal activist/lover and has been a vegetarian for 25 years eats shellfish, because it has been proven there is no feeling since there is no central nervous system. As for fish, who knows, but they are definitely pretty low on the food chain. He also eats dairy from good sources. If you can fit dairy and fish into your daily diet, IMO you'd be better off. You simply cannot get enough protein from non-animal sources.

kayemme

You simply cannot get enough protein from non-animal sources.

if that were true, there'd be a pile of dead vegans stinking up the streets. just sayin

dre63052

I love the fact that you are so self-aware that you know where your battle lines are and that you feel guilty about crossing them not based on anyone else but yourself! This is the core issue to me...we all have differing thoughts about what is good, right, just, humane, crime, etc. We alone should have the right to choose what we will or will not put in our bodies or use.

I have been vegan or veggie for 5 years now for several reasons. Animal rights and cruelty is one issue. The way that animals are treated in most facilities is just shameless. However, for me it goes past just mistreatment of animals, it is a spiritual reason as well. I am Buddhist and believe all live has value, from bugs to humans. Therefore I don't kill any life. So for myself, I could not be ok with knowing that an animal was free-range or treated kindly before they were slaughtered and I ingested them. I simply do not believe an animal should loss its life for me to eat. On a lighter note, you should see me chasing bugs and spiders around the house to catch them so I can let them go outside...it is rather comical and my girlfriend laughs at me! :-)

The key here is that these are MY beliefs and mine alone. I don't expect anyone else to life by them just because I do, nor do I judge anyone for what they choose in their own lives. That being said, no one has the right to judge her or anyone else for what they do or do not eat. Likewise, no one can tell her or anyone else what is ok to eat or what is or is not a "crime" to eat. These are HER convictions alone, and I think it is wonderful that she is open enough to feel them and share them.

Namaste!

kennedar

I definitly am in awe of all the veggies and vegans here. I would love to go veggie, but we are TTC and going through infertility treatments right now, so I dont want to put my body through anything else. I dont know where you live, but you might have access to a local farm in your area. I know we have 3 or 4 around us, but we are in cattle country (alberta canada) so YMMV. The farms here allow you to come visit whenever you like so you are certain that the animals are being treated fairly. It is a little (a lot!!) more expensive, but we are cutting back our meat consumption to maybe 2 or 3 times a week. We are replacing it with free range chicken eggs, meat substitutes and lots of fish. After we finally get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, I want to switch to pescetarian.

niknok28

The key here is that these are MY beliefs and mine alone. I don't expect anyone else to life by them just because I do, nor do I judge anyone for what they choose in their own lives. That being said, no one has the right to judge her or anyone else for what they do or do not eat. Likewise, no one can tell her or anyone else what is ok to eat or what is or is not a "crime" to eat. These are HER convictions alone, and I think it is wonderful that she is open enough to feel them and share them.

Well said!!