"I'll just take a few days off logging..."

amblight

See TL;DR at the bottom

Well.

I had some family coming to visit, whom I haven't seen in 2 years. I would road-trip a bit with them, visiting some other family members etc., but I pretty much had no idea what the plan would be, didn't expect computer access, and everything would just be too dis-organized to try to keep a log of anything. So I figured, F that, I've logged all but 10 days (vacation) in the past 7 months, I can skip 5 days. "I'll be smart about it".

For the first day, I was! Lean brunch, and when the family I hadn't seen in 2 years (who were very amazed by my weightloss, yet still decreet about it, as I prefer) arrived with their famous cookies, I didn't have any.

Next day, they say they want to bake more cookies. They are so proud of those cookies, and even more proud of how much us girls love them. So they get baking and I'm helping out. My family keep talking about how we aren't going to have a lunch, because no one can keep their hands off the cookies while baking them. I didn't have any, and did feel bad about it - I haven't baked cookies with them since we lived together 5 years ago, and they were talking about how much they missed that.

I insisted on lunch, despite being the only one not full from cookies, and stuck to small portions of lean stuff, for dinner as well.

But, by evening, they had boxed up some cookies just for me, and put in my room. And oh. Those cookies. They are super. And we have so many memories with them. So I ate of them. A lot. Until my tummy hurt.

Next day, I stick with smart choices again for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But, by evening, I eat the rest of the cookies they had made for me. And even though it made my tummy hurt again, I wanted more.

So the next day when hanging out with my family, I eat more of the cookies every time the chance arrives (which it did a lot, as I said, they are very proud of the cookies, and loves seeing us eat them). By evening, there are no more cookies.

Next morning, my family leaves, and I finally weigh myself, and I'm ashamed. Almost up 2kg. I know it's water weight, since I usually eat low-ish carb, and hadn't for these days + had more salt, but I'm ashamed. So I try to restrict myself, too far, and all I can think about is how I'd love to just eat more cookies, or anything really.

In the evening, my friends come over, we are drinking, and will be going out. I drink a lot of vodka. When we go out, my friend wants to stop at McDonalds, and I go with her, because I'm ravenous, and have had mad cravings for cookies and all sorts of things all day. I get a sandwich that I read only has about 300cal, and no fries. And I feel that I deffinitely did go to far with restricting that day, because I feel so much more energy after eating that.

Next day, the end of my 'no logging' days, I feel awful, I didn't stay smart at all, I lost control, and worst of all, I didn't care - I had been thinking "Just F the dieting, I'll just live off cookies and vodka for the rest of my life". It had seemed unbearable that I had to stick with it for many more months. I weight myself, and it's still awful, but I now log my food, and actually DO stay smart about it - not to restrictive, but sticking to my ways pre-binge. I don't weigh myself for a couple of days.

When I did, I was back slightly lower than what I had been pre-binge! I calculated that I must have netted about 1900/day during the no-logging-days (though we walked and bicycled a lot, so I deffinitely ate more than that), which isn't really terrible at all!

So, despite feeling awful about my choices, it didn't turn out quite as badly as I worried

TL;DR - Thought I could stay smart, but ended up vacuuming cookies and vodka, and craving even more. Yet still didn't mess up my loss too badly, so yay!

alltheweigh170

Thank you for posting this. Helps to know that other people struggle with these issues as well.

Glad things turned out all right in the end.