When does it stop being 'watching what you eat' and become a

chatal36

Nicley said!

NoAdditives

For those who don't know the conversion, 47kg is 103.4 pounds. That's pretty darned low. Especially when you consider that in order to be that weight and have a BMI of 17 she's got to be between 5'4 and 5'5. I'm 5'5 and I'm aiming for a BMI of about 22, which would put me at a weight of around 130-135.

I think if you're already at a healthy weight and losing more would put in the underweight category, it's time to stop. Yes, friends get jealous and don't really want to see you be successful. But there are friends and a point when jealous friends actually do care about your health and well being. It seems like if you've already lost a lot of weight and are at a healthy weight but are still spending hours a day researching weight loss and constantly thinking about your calories, you're heading into dangerous territory. There are other ways to change the way your body looks. Once you're at a healthy weight you may just need to tone your muscles with a little weight lifting or some exercise like Pilates.

In addition, your mind may not have adjusted to your weight loss yet. Since you've struggled with your weight for some time your perception of yourself is still fairly negative. You see all your flaws and still think you're fat. But in all honesty, you aren't. Give yourself some time to start seeing yourself the way you really are. It's very easy to go overboard with weight loss and to obsess with food. If you're constantly thinking about food in any fashion, it's bad. You should be in the maintenance phase now, not the weight loss phase. You should be able to eat what you want without worrying too much as long as you exercise a little.

mzenzer

And your goal weight of 47kgs is 103lbs. That's pretty low even for a short, small framed girl. I know a couple girls that I'd consider naturally skinny but not unhealthy at 110 pounds, but I could not imagine them losing 7 pounds. We can only offer opinions here, but a little more info would be helpful, like as others have questioned, what is your height and also why don't you make your food diary public so we can see how many calories you are eating.

Grrr... Wrote a post then lost it....

Thank you all for the advice and support I think some part of me worries that I may be toeing the line into something unhealthy, and that's why I posted this. I guess I'll just have to see how things go and see how I feel...

In answer to some points raised....

Yes, I have seen a doctor since the inital loss (though not about my weight). He commented on my weightloss, but not in a negative way, more like an observation. He did mention that I was dehydrated, but that was because I was sick

I have spoken to my friend a billion times and tried to explain things, but it always ends in an argument. I do understand and appreciate that they are just trying to look out for me, but I also suspect that there may be some other motives that make me questions their comments. Also I know for a fact that they have told other people that they looked fine, don't lose any weight etc etc and then called them fat after having a falling out. Which makes me seriously question how reliable their word is. Also, they are the only person in my life that is having a problem with me losing weight. The only one. Everyone else tells me that I look good

Also, 13kgs is 28.6lbs for our American friends (and anyone else who prefers things in pounds!)

NikkiJ17

For those who don't know the conversion, 47kg is 103.4 pounds. That's pretty darned low. Especially when you consider that in order to be that weight and have a BMI of 17 she's got to be between 5'4 and 5'5. I'm 5'5 and I'm aiming for a BMI of about 22, which would put me at a weight of around 130-135.

I think if you're already at a healthy weight and losing more would put in the underweight category, it's time to stop. Yes, friends get jealous and don't really want to see you be successful. But there are friends and a point when jealous friends actually do care about your health and well being. It seems like if you've already lost a lot of weight and are at a healthy weight but are still spending hours a day researching weight loss and constantly thinking about your calories, you're heading into dangerous territory. There are other ways to change the way your body looks. Once you're at a healthy weight you may just need to tone your muscles with a little weight lifting or some exercise like Pilates.

In addition, your mind may not have adjusted to your weight loss yet. Since you've struggled with your weight for some time your perception of yourself is still fairly negative. You see all your flaws and still think you're fat. But in all honesty, you aren't. Give yourself some time to start seeing yourself the way you really are. It's very easy to go overboard with weight loss and to obsess with food. If you're constantly thinking about food in any fashion, it's bad. You should be in the maintenance phase now, not the weight loss phase. You should be able to eat what you want without worrying too much as long as you exercise a little.

I totally agree!!! It's sounds like you're at a really good place now, try maintaining for a few months and see if you change your mind.

mzenzer

I wouldn't praise a celebrity for any reason much less being waif thin as I don't put much stock in celebrity. But, I actually sympathize with you. Most people who see me, and then hear me say something at lunch like I can't eat this or that I need to know the calories, etc., kinda freak out and are uber judgemental because I look like I am in shape. In fact, I am in shape. Every part of my body is pretty ripped and lean, except the excess belly fat. This belly fat by the way hides really well under normal clothing, especially work clothes, so I hear all the crap from people too and it just goes in one ear and out the other. Hell I ate nearly 3000 calories yesterday and was still under my goal, and save for a few glasses of wine last night (yes I counted the calories) my diet is super nutritious.

All that being said, I think what people are posting, including me, is concern not criticism. Plus, i think you have been a little vague. You've posted some numbers but what people really want to know is how tall are you and how many calories are you eating. That would fill in some blanks. You came here asking for advice so be prepared to get it, and if your questions are lacking key information that advice will run the gamut.

My BMI now is 21.8. I've had a BMI of 19.5 before and loved it. That was quite recent actually (bonus weightloss due to illness... but sadly it came back when I was better and eating again ) That's how I know that I won't look underweight or whatever, because I've been 5kgs off my goal already. You know what bothers me? The fact that celebrities can get down to stupid weights and everyone praises them and wants to know how they did it, but the second a 'normal' person wants to then they have a problem. Double standards anyone?

This is not meant to insult anyone who has replied to me, I love the fact that people have replied so fast and I appreciate all responses This is just an observation on society in general

kelsully

When I started at MFP I was already losing weight and working out to train for a marathon. I was countng calories in my head etc and doing pretty well. One thing I found, however is that I felt like I obsessed more over choices before I could see them all on paper etc. If I were to have eaten some Halloween candy before MFP I would give myself a mental beating and probably walk my basement stairs a zillion times as a means of "exercise purging" Now that I have such a clear picture of what I have eaten and what I have burned I can sometimes eat that reese without guilt. I can see how healthful or not the rest of my day has been, the benefits of my exercise etc and if the snack fits in the cals I eat it and enjoy it without guilt instead of hating myself for enjoying it.

I have lived in that obsessive place before about my weight and been quite unhealthy in my past. MFP is helping keep me accountable as well because I feel like I can make sure I am eating enough, especially during training season. If I am more than 150 cals under my goal for the day I eat something. I try to make sure I am right on target. I was starting to get concerned that I was dropping to much weight (5' and 111 lbs/50.5 kg) I looked fit as hell and tiny but at the end of the day when I was tired, my coloring and my face just looked sickly. Since the marathon I am still working out and running long distances but my long runs are a bit shorter I have maintained that 111-113 lbs. I still look fit as hell and tiny but my body is adjusting to it and I don't look sickly anymore. I am content here but don't want to get smaller as need to be healthy first before skinny.

I would give yourself some time maintaining where you are at. Use MFP as a tool. If in a month's time you still want to drop some more kg's I would say start with 5 kg and maintain that for a while. If you can maintain that weight with work but not too much sacrifice then consider the next 5 kg If maintaining any weight requires CONSTANT diligence with no room for a snack or constant hunger then it is too much.

NatalieWinning

It's obcessive to diet. You have to work hard at it and try all day. So, of course you have to obcess. It's called trying, not obcessing.

Once you reach a healthy weight, It's time to try and switch to obcessing over how to keep loosing and what your eating to having a life. And a lifestyle. Not thinking about food and loosing constantly, but thinking about living and keeping healthy.

Food should be enjoyed, life should be enjoyed, and it's the living life, not the food and exercise, that are the focus after you succeed in getting healthier. That's a tricky transition! Better I learn to love living than spending the entire rest of my life trying to get and stay thin. The process takes focus, but the result should be living healthier, and living life.

MisdemeanorM

How tall are you? 103lbs is very small for anyone who is not really short.

Anorexics think that they don't look too small for their frame. (I'm not calling you this, I am just saying. What you see or think may not be what others see.)

My only concern with this is that in your posts and in your profile (you mention wanting to be so thin you don't leave a shadow) you focus seems to be on how small you can get or how small you can look. I don't see you saying you want to eat healthy so that you can have endurance, more energy etc. This is all part of being healthy overall, and what SIZE you are is really only part of the story.

Don't be defensive with the person who is saying this to you. There is a good chance that they are NOT jealous, but have your best interest in mind and may be concerned for your health.

I would suggest, if you are worried, if you are asking are you obsessed, that the good chance is the answer is yes. Now, decide if it is a healthy or unhealthy obsession and see how you feel if you back off. If you stop logging for say a week, do you get anxious, depressed - this could be a very important answer.

Also, I encourage you to talk to a neutral third party. Can you see a nutritionist or a doctor? Just one appointment for a consult to get another outside opinion?

Be very careful. Be realistic. Be healthy. Know that this whole thing is not about being a certain size or weight.

NatalieWinning

You know what bothers me? The fact that celebrities can get down to stupid weights and everyone praises them and wants to know how they did it, but the second a 'normal' person wants to then they have a problem. Double standards anyone?

I don't agree with anyone getting down to a "stupid weight"

STR0NGisSEXY

I'm about your height, and I'm aiming for around 110 pounds... If you are still unhappy with the way your body looks, instead of focusing on "dieting" maybe eat normally and healthily, but make sure you are using weights to train. That will tone your body up, make you happy, and rev up your metabolism. If you don't eat enough calories or if you drop below a certain weight your body wil not be able to function properly.

That being said, I also spend hours researching things, and watch the calories that go into my mouth. Just be careful. It is a fine line.

rml_16

Thanks for the KG conversions. :-) I was being lazy and not feeling like googling for it.

I'm 5'3" and 103 pounds is the drop-dead least I can weigh and still be a healthy BMI. I weighed that in high school when I was pregnant and had such horrible morning sickness that my net calorie intake was probably less than 0. When I weighed 110-120 in high school, I was a size 3 (about 15-20 years ago).

I was TINY.

I know body types and muscle tone make a difference, but that's still very small for any height on an adult. I think 28 pounds lost in three months is a lot for someone already in the healthy weight range. You shouldn't lose more than 2 a week to avoid losing muscle along with the fat. Muscle (as has been said) is what makes you look good, not being super skinny.

As for the celebrities, well, I think the ones who get too skinny look absolutely horrible. I've never praised anyone for being super skinny or unhealthy.

I want to be thin, but I also want to maintain a woman's body (that means curves and not bones to me).

think48

I think the biggest red flag for you is if you are hiding anything from anyone. Only you know the "truth" of who you are and what you do behind closed doors. If you are hiding things from your real life friends (posting here does not count, as it is anonymous) then you are already over that line.

I say this is in concern, not criticism, as one of my best friends was placed into a hospital for TWO WHOLE YEARS because of anorexia. She missed her chance to have children 3 times because of it, she missed out on tons in her life. Life went on past her while she was locked in a psychiatric hospital dealing with this. She's better now, thank goodness, but it was at least a $60,000 (American dollar) problem per year....not counting all of the out-of-hospital counseling she's had to go through. She ended up losing a lot of friendships because the relationships she developed were based on lies (of not teling anyone how she truly felt or what she did behind closed doors).

Anyways, we don't know you, all we know is what you have posted. The fact that you sound concerned about it yourself does concern me, but at the same time, you are questioning it, not denying it. I hope that you are doing this the healthy way; only you can control your self image.

ActionJackson

I don't care how much weigh always watch what you eat.

fitnesspirateninja

I'm just going to add my vote for talking to a doctor and nutritionist. I'm not a professional, and even if I was I wouldn't be able to tell you through the internet if you have a problem or not. If you talk to your doctor and a nutritionist, and they say you're healthy and okay your weight loss plan, then it will put both your own mind, and your friend's, at ease. If they're not okay with your plan, they can help you come up with a new one. Either way, if your friend says something to you about it, you can say, "I'm sticking to my doctor-approved plan."

One thing I would mention is that it is possible to change who you are on the inside. I thought it was a little concerning that you feel as if being skinny will make up for something you're unhappy about emotionally. Being skinny won't take away whatever hurt you have inside. I think that while you're working on getting your body healthy, you should work on getting your internal stuff healthy, too.

kanonxbou47

I think you should probably talk to a doctor about it.
Because "underweight" isn't about looking bad, it's about being unhealthy and undernourished, with not enough energy to do what you need to do.
Your friend is probably saying this for a reason.

Good luck with everything, hun!

MisdemeanorM

so for the heck of it i tried to go to one (actually a couple) of those virtual weight loss model sites just to type in 103 lbs and 5'5" (which would be a 17.1 BMI) just to get an idea of the general body size / shape of a generic person that size (granted, we have no idea your build) and none of them would allow it as they all have limitations which do not allow people to put in unhealthy BMIs so that girls won't try to create unhealthy body images for themselves. The lowest weight it would allow is 111 or 50KG. Just an FYI.

nsueflorence

First and foremost, and other people will back me up on this, people are JEALOUS. Who knows if that's what's up with your friend, but they are, and success in any way will change how people treat you.

You're not obsessed. Obsession means placing an unhealthy amount of importance on things that aren't, and you're not doing that. You're changing how you live. Food is a huge part of how we live our lives, and changing how we use food changes many facets of our lives, many in ways we never foresee at the beginning.

I've also spent hours upon hours researching nutrition, as well as training methods. Just like you said, it's a hobby, and a hobby that can make our lives SO much better!

haters gon' hate.

Great Post!

rml_16

Your mother needs to find a new doctor. On 1,200 calories a day (or whatever MFP recommends), she should see a loss her first week.