Is it rude?

sassynkp

I would bring a dish to share- who knows, you might just inspire someone. ????

caimay175

I don't think it's rude AT ALL. Your body. You control what goes in it.

I had a similar situation with my family. I felt like I had to eat whatever fried/sugary stuff they gave me, but guess what, I don't. What made it worse was that they would force food on me so much 24/7, and when I finally got fed up of saying 'no thanks, no thanks' like a parrot and took some, they'd make some snarky comment like 'I thought you were slimming!' And they never made any secret of the fact I was fat and needed to lose weight.

Think of this way: if you were diabetic, and couldn't eat what they gave you, would they be offended? If you were allergic and couldn't eat their pumpkin pie (or whatever), would you feel bad then? No. Well, this is the same, it's your body and you're trying to keep it healthy.

Just my 2c

inneedofanap

I like the idea of bringing a dish to share instead of bringing your own prepackaged meal. Another thing that works, drink a TON of water. So much water that you feel like you'll explode. I guarantee you'll eat less if your pants are already a little tight around the waist. Have fun!

TXRanchGirl

I would bring something to share with the group. You can always bring the leftovers back home and use it as your lunches for the next week.

This

if someone brought their own"meal" to a get together..ehh..it doesnt look good..I wouldnt do it..and Id be offended if someone did it at a function I was putting on.

teranga79

How long will you be with them for? If it's a few hours I'd eat before I went and maybe be seen to eat a bit of their food to be polite. If you're there all day, or longer, I think it would be fine to take your own food. Although as others have said, make enough for others too.... even if you think it unlikely anyone would join you.

Have fun

AsaThorsWoman

I spent last weekend with my sister and came back four pounds heavier, which was very dis-heartening.

If it's possible to eat healthy while, do it.

Right now I'm so upset about the gain I'm almost thinking of canceling our next get together, which is downright rotten to cancel a visit because you can't maintain weight around family, but family will do that too you.

Sometimes you have no other option than to eat what they eat, or not eat at all.

My beloved sister literally lives over an hour away from a grocery store.

I think I'll continue to visit, but holy mother of the gods on Asgard NOT WITHOUT AN ICE CHEST OF ASA FOOD!

amberj32

I don't think it's rude at all to bring your own food.

tuckeychicken

I don't think it's rude in fact I have the same plan. If you want explain to them that are finally making progress on a personal goal to lose weight and this is what you need to do in order to stay on track. You really don't need to feel bad if people care about you enough they will support you on such a healthy goal.

If someone says something to you stick to your guns and stand your ground on staying healthy. Let them know how hard you worked and for example you might say well I'm sure none of us here would work are butts of to make our money then purposely throw it into a fire and if they give you any problems send them to me I will gladly take care of them red head style lol.I'm a little fiesty sometimes.

But for real no one has the right to throw a monkey wrench into your hard work. I think that you can handle this with your family and maybe you can call ahead and explain how you feel and that you love them but, right now in order for you to stay strong and keep on with your progress you need to avoid eating unhealthy choices. Most peole laugh at those of us trying because they are not strong enough just yet to do the same and they are usuallly a little jealous.

Any way I hope your 4th and everyones is a safe and happy one. Good luck.

CindyMarcuzAdams

What if you called you mother in law and explained your situation. Tell her you are doing so well and dont want to go over board. Would she mind if you brought your own little snack to have along with her wonderful holiday offerings.

katiewilsonxo

Nope. My family knows my prep plans and my dietary restrictions right now, and know I'll be bringing my own food. Even if it did hurt their feelings, it would change my plans not in the slightest. I'm not sacrificing my goals just to make other people happy. I figure anyone petty enough to be offended that I'm not eating the same food as them have more problems than I want to buy into. :drinker:

I totally agree with this. If you're worried that they have enabling tendencies for your bad eating, you shouldn't have to put yourself at risk of going off track with your diet. You are there to enjoy their company but certain people there may very well feel "judged" for their own unhealthy choices if you are picking at your own salad. I agree that you should bring something like a small sharing portion of fruit salad or bowl of leafy greens but bring a meal that can be incorporated into the rest of the get together like bringing a low-fat cut of meat for the BBQ so that you can have a burger like everyone else but fill up your plate with a low cal option.

littlefoot612

Eat before you go that way you won't be hungry and be as tempted by what's there. It's also ok to eat a little bit of "forbidden food" occasionally just make sure you try to maintain portion control and track it. If you have a pretty good idea of what they usually serve you might want to look it up first and check the calorie count/macros and plan your day accordingly to allow for it.
Good Luck and have fun.

Caper88

I've asked my self this question many times. Here is my take on it. Is it rude? may be or may be not. Do I care? No. I don't say that to be mean, I say it to be selfish. In the past I would care. I would end up eating the junkfood even though I swear I wouldn't touch a thing because people would push it on me. I never wanted to be rude and say no so I would give in an eat. I think some people don't realize how hard temptation can be. Some people just offer once and stop. I do appreciate the offer and stopping once I say no. It is the people who continue after I say no. The more pushy they get the more pushy I get back.

I know I might sound rude and have a bad attitude but the reality is I have to start putting my health first. I put my self in a mess and now I have to get my self out of it. I care about my health more then I care about what others think. It is the same thing with my walking. My family often expected me to cut my walks short so I can be home for other things that really aren't my responsibility. They pretty much get that I go for a walk at a certain time for a certain amount of time. I'm pretty much walking out the door and not coming home until I finished my time. They eventually learned to accept it.

I think the question you should be asking is "do I care more about their opinion or about my health?" or "do I want to ruin all my hard work over one day? For me the answer is no. I wouldn't worry about bringing your own food if you don't want to work their food into your calorie intake for the day. I think it is fine to bring your own meal. Most people will realize it is because you are trying to stay on track and not because you didn't feel like making enough for everyone or you just don't want to eat their food. If the idea is still bothering you then opt to bring enough for everyone instead of eating the food they provide.

Kita328

I went through this as well, but with my own family. While I knew many wouldnt eat what I had to offer I knew what was in my food I had a plan and I stuck to it. Eventually after the last year or so my family has got on board with healthier eating. At first my sister or Mom would say ugh thats dry...or way too healthy for me... you know just any comment to show I was eating diffrently than they were. I had to get thick skin laugh about it and take my leftovers home that no one would eat. Finally, after a few holidays and bringing things I could eat, they tried things and gave them a shot.

Now, at cookouts my family really doesn't pick on me. They even make sure to have a cooked veggie and salad with the meal. It is a small gesture that I think is just wonderful and very nice of them. They will now ask if I want my chicken without any BBQ sauce, or just plain ask how I want the meal prepared and they make an effort for me.

I never thought they would do that, but it did take a while for them to open up to the idea. The only thing that made them realize this was important to me is time. Time showed I am doing well- sticking with it- and have lost 20 lbs. Now they ask me what a healthier way to prepare this or that is. They want to make small changes in their life. It feels good to share that with them now.

Even if you dont have that expiereince with your in-laws. I think Bringing something you can eat is fine. Packing a lunch- I have done that too- So whatever you do be prepared to "hear it" from others because you are diffrent. THey will say something either way. Do what makes you the most comfortable- But I do know that maybe someone will join in with you....

BookofJarom

I think CindyMarcuz nailed it.

What if you called you mother in law and explained your situation. Tell her you are doing so well and dont want to go over board. Would she mind if you brought your own little snack to have along with her wonderful holiday offerings.

...say you show up out of the blue with healthy, "better" options. Will the family be bothered? Possibly, perhaps just because they weren't expecting it and it's a reminder to them that they aren't eating right.

...but say you communicate with them beforehand. Show appreciation, love, etc. for them and explain what you'd like to take to the gathering. They won't be caught off-guard with your "better" options, and who knows?--maybe they'll even supply some healthy food as well.

CrescentCityGirl

Nope. My family knows my prep plans and my dietary restrictions right now, and know I'll be bringing my own food. Even if it did hurt their feelings, it would change my plans not in the slightest. I'm not sacrificing my goals just to make other people happy. I figure anyone petty enough to be offended that I'm not eating the same food as them have more problems than I want to buy into. :drinker:

I totally agree with this. If you're worried that they have enabling tendencies for your bad eating, you shouldn't have to put yourself at risk of going off track with your diet. You are there to enjoy their company but certain people there may very well feel "judged" for their own unhealthy choices if you are picking at your own salad. I agree that you should bring something like a small sharing portion of fruit salad or bowl of leafy greens but bring a meal that can be incorporated into the rest of the get together like bringing a low-fat cut of meat for the BBQ so that you can have a burger like everyone else but fill up your plate with a low cal option.

I agree!!! I like the idea of bringing something everyone can share maybe like a green salad. Along with that you can bring whatever else you would like to have. I've done it before myself. I like to use the insulated tote bags for the stuff I bring. It has been my experience that you can do damage in just a day if you aren't careful.

SCV34

Our neighbors are having a fish fry for the fourth and we have been invited and happily accepted the invitation. My husband agreed to grill something and he suggested grilled vegetables. I thought that was a great idea. He gets to use his grill and make something that will be a bit lighter than something fried. Which by the way, I will be eating the fried fish along with the grilled veggies.

I totally agree with what others have suggested by taking enough to share with everyone.

TheSatinPumpkin

I stick to home cooked meals and mostly only one/two servings so at office potlucks i just bring a different dish for the event and my own food for myself which is usually last night left overs lol

1911JR

I originally didn't have much planned for the 4th, seeing as I'm several hundreds of miles away from my family, and my husband's family wasn't sure if they would do anything. All of this I was happy about because I've been finally seeing some progression in my weight and I don't want to sabotage myself.
But! Last night I found out we are officially going over to his parents' house for the holiday. And in the nicest way possible, his family eats very poorly and have always been enablers for me. Junk food everywhere.

SO. Is it rude for me to bring my own packaged lunch? I'll surely get made fun of, but I don't want to ruin my progress, or kill my motivation. I thought of maybe bringing some dishes to the get together, but frankly no one would eat what I would bring. I just don't have many healthy options when I get there.

I guarantee someone, if not most would try what you brought. If for no other reason than just being polite. That`s unless they already hate you. If you do not want to cast the image of, being a snob and your food isn't good enough for me! I suggest you do the same and be polite and nibble on a few things and take food for sharing.

I`m sure you can get TON`s of ideas here on very tasty party dishes you could make. I ALWAYS take a big tray of mixed veggies for people to nibble on. And it always eaten.

MyRummyHens

One of my husbands relatives is a vegetarian, they ALWAYS bring their own food to our place. It drives me nuts and I think it's SO rude because I'm a vegan myself, so it's not like I don't understand the things they can't/won't eat.

One Christmas I was cooking a full on roast dinner for 12 people and this individual turned up with their own food, and then proceeded to tell me it had to go in the oven for 30 minutes at X temperature before it was served. Needless to say I couldn't cook it because I had every available oven stuffed full of roast spuds, turkey, beef and roasted vegetables! So they had to eat half an hour later then everyone else on their own! Funnily enough it's all been microwaveable since that incident!

So I guess having been on the receiving end of the your-food-isn't-good-enough-for-me guest who turns up with their lunch in a pot I can confirm that I would find that horribly rude!

I am in agreement with everyone else. Bring a dish to share in a big pot, and when you are the only one who eats it then take the rest home for the next couple of days. If you do either a main or a desert then you can been seen sampling whatever you don't bring of their food so as not to appear rude or ungrateful.

Rdlm1001

You should never feel obligated to put anything in your body that is not for your higher good. You are talking about your family!!! I can't imagine why a family would give a crap. This isn't your new neighbors or husbands/wife's boss. If expected you could contribute a fruit salad or green salad. Other than that, bring your own or eat before. In my world, I only eat non gmo, organic, un processed food. Processed, sugar laden food make me feel really bad. I am not doing that to my body for anyone. And for the record, I think taking food/drink that you bring to a party back home afterwards is rude. Unless insisted upon by the host.

Such a shame that your coming holiday can cause this much stress. Just try to have fun and do what feels good for your body.