The single dumbest thing.....

headofphat

....that you've ever heard someone say? It can't be a joke either. It has to be something that you heard someone say that is genuinely the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

I'll start.

As a teenager I got a ticket because I was allegedly going too fast for conditions and spun out and hit a pole. When the police showed up I told them that i wasn't really going that fast but my tires were a little worn and I lost traction. The, obviously super intelligent, police officer told me that cars with slick tires have more traction. :huh: Even though i was a dumb teenager I had to ask him how he figured that was the case. He proceeded to tell me that's why they use slick tires in NASCAR because they get better traction....smh. I asked him to hurry up and write the ticket so I could get away from him.

Iwishyouwell

Me: Ugh, I hate when people talk about Africa like it's a country.
My Favorite Cousin: I know, right! What is the capital of Africa again?

A classmate: I love Red Hot Chilli Peppers! Do you?
Me: Yeah, sometimes! I like them on hot dogs sometimes.
A classmate: I was talking about the band.

BoatsnHose

Some girl at a college football game asked where the yellow first down line was at on the field

_Resolve_

my boss asked me for the area code to a customer, I gave him the 3 digit area code for the phone number. He yelled at me and said "Give me the 5 digit area code for his address" I corrected him and gave him the zip code.

"next time give me what I want"

Yes, he doesn't know the difference between an area code a zip-code,

Bucky83

From the mouth of a 39 year old who was a part of a 12-person tour in Italy a few years ago:

Her: "The equator? Isn't it at the North Pole?"

Her when reading the menu item that clearly says 'prosciutto': "Is there prosciutto in this? I can only have cured meat."

ETA: Not me, I'm only 31. She also worked as a Day Care teacher. SMH

meluhneekay

A few years ago: co-worker asked me what I was studying in college. I told him psychology. His response: "Oh cool so you can, like, read peoples minds and see ghosts or whatever?"

I was too embarrassed for him to call him out, so I just said, "Uh, I want to be a therapist..." and left it at that.

bd0027

I can follow up on the cop thing......I once asked a cop to let me off with a warning since I started working for the start and I didn't want to inform my supervisor. He reported to him if he let me off once he would have to let everyone off......I was like WTF ever.;..LOL

I dislike cops with great passion.

note: one of my best friends is a cop

Having a pair of tatas works wonders with them. (:

mestacy010

Whether my boobs were real or not

bd0027

I asked a new guy at work to peel me an onion. He asked how. I didn't really give him instructions because I thought it was common sense.

He peeled it like a potato.

_John_

Whether my boobs were real or not

OMgz, bewbs...

kimothy38

Sister (9 yo) to brother (5 yo): You are so dumb I bet you don't even know what half of 50 is!
Brother had no clue so said nothing
Sister: It's 23, so there!

I laughed and laughed all day about that.

bd0027

Sister (9 yo) to brother (5 yo): You are so dumb I bet you don't even know what half of 50 is!
Brother had no clue so said nothing
Sister: It's 23, so there!

I laughed and laughed all day about that.

Kids say the cutest things though lol. My little nephew who is 8 was walking by my door when I told him my sisters water had just broke. He looked at me and said, "on her sink?" I laughed and said no, that her baby was coming soon. He then looked at me and said, "wait, her water broke on her middle spot?... EW." Hahaha.

Alatariel75

I was working room service and the phone rang:

Guest: What's the soup of the day?
Me: Pea and Ham
Guest: Is that vegetarian?

I was working in a pub with a huge beer garden. Customer walks in the gate, across the garden (filled with tables, chairs and people drinking), up the stairs, into the cafe area, up to the counter and asks "Excuse me, is the beer garden outside?"

Walking out of a cinema with my 8 year old cousin after watching Ice Age 3D. One of the two teenage girls in front of us turns to the other and says "that was so cool! I wish real life was in 3D"

MaaKeMeThinn3r

Random guy at the store: I don't mean to stare but your boobs are amazing
Me: Thanks *smiles and walks away*
Random guy:*runs to catch up with me and stands in front of me* Would you mind if I touched them?
Me: Uh yes I would..leave me alone
Random guy: Fine ***** they're probably fake anyways..


*ROLLING MY EYES* that's guys for ya

Ivey05131980

Somebody asked a female friend of mine if her twin BROTHER was identical or fraternal.

tehboxingkitteh

Someone once asked if my tattoo was real.

Mind you, this is a big piece with all the colors of the rainbow, and I have lots of visible tattoos.

Megan101792

Somebody asked a female friend of mine if her twin BROTHER was identical or fraternal.

Seriously?

CamilleJackie350

Random guy at the store: I don't mean to stare but your boobs are amazing
Me: Thanks *smiles and walks away*
Random guy:*runs to catch up with me and stands in front of me* Would you mind if I touched them?
Me: Uh yes I would..leave me alone
Random guy: Fine ***** they're probably fake anyways..


*ROLLING MY EYES* that's guys for ya

this happened..

aedreana

I have heard this line from several different people in different states who don't even know each other:
"It isn't what happens that matters; what matters is how you perceive it."

That is THE most absurd statement ever spoken; honorable mention goes to: "Everything happens for a reason."

LumberJacck

I casually asked her how old planet earth was. Her answer: 100 years. She wasn't joking.

LumberJacck

I have heard this line from several different people in different states who don't even know each other:
"It isn't what happens that matters; what matters is how you perceive it."

That is THE most absurd statement ever spoken;

Actually I would tend to agree with that. Suppose your parent dies. How you react to that happening can have long lasting consequences.

walleyclan1

A friend of mine was talking about a tupac movie and I asked "An old one?"

walleyclan1

At a drive through, I was once asked "For here or to go?"

jenilla1

In high school, this girl in my Spanish class argued with everyone that dogs speak different languages, just like people. She said that when her dog was in Mexico on a family trip, he couldn't understand the other Mexican dogs. :noway: Rolling my eyes at the memory...

mybeesknees

When I was eight, I told a man that my sister was expecting and I was going to have a nephew born in June. He asked me if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. *Face palm*.

headofphat

A few years ago: co-worker asked me what I was studying in college. I told him psychology. His response: "Oh cool so you can, like, read peoples minds and see ghosts or whatever?"

I was too embarrassed for him to call him out, so I just said, "Uh, I want to be a therapist..." and left it at that.

So wait. Psychologists can't read minds or see ghosts? What?

aimozz

There was an ad on the tv where someone said "to be or not to be, that is the question", and my sister asked me if that was the real Hitler saying that. I had to explain to her that it was a Shakespeare quote, not a Hitler quote, and that both of them were dead.

PinkyFett

There's too many stuoid things to choose from