my story. from a great depression to taking back everything.

xgamblorx

I thought id share my story in hopes of maybe inspiring others like me. Ive never even really mentioned all these details to my own friends but I thought doing this would help me to move on further. Anyways ill start with a lil intro. Im 31 yo, from So Ca, im 6ft 1 and currently weigh in at 203lbs. A little over a year ago I use to be 320 lbs. It all started when I was "happily married" in time my wife left me for someone else, it was the manner in how I found out that truly destroyed me. By finding pics and letters of her "doings" on our pc. It tore me apart on the inside and I began drinking heavily every night. I allowed myself to succumb to anger and despair as I loathed in my sorrow. Eventually I just couldnt take it, my life was upside down when I lost my wife, im not proud but it did happen, I attempted a cowardly half assed attempt of ending my life with a bottle of tequila and over the counter pills. Obviously it didnt work lol. So I awoke the next morning with a terrible headache and coughing up blood both ways, yes I deserved that. Something changed in me that way, suppose I saw what I was becoming and I wanted to avoid it at any cost. I didnt wanna be a pathetic overweight man who cries about his wife who left him. I refused. I started walking my dog but for the purpose of keeping myself busy and not overthink. Did it everyday and a few weeks later I noticed I lost over 5 lbs. Ive never exercised a day in my life so losing any weight at all was new to me. Intrigued I continued to do so but longer intervals everyday. I lost more weight and I wanted more. So I started trying to jog. I remember how out of breath I was after 10 min jogging of a very slow pace but as weeks continued I increased the pace and time I jogged. After 2 months I lost over 40 lbs. I worked out intensely with no rest day. At first my workout was motivated and fueled by pure raw anger. I worked hard as if my goal was to somehow get revenge. After about 5 months and over 60 lbs lost the anger had dissipated and everything started to become clearer to me. I was able to continue working out because I was so use to it that if I didn't I would feel depressed. I realized Iay not be able to always workout for the rest ofy life so I wanted to change my diet permanently as insurance so I dont become big again. It was very hard to lower my calorie intake permanently and switch over from fast foods to vegetables and non junk foods but o did it. Its been over a year now and I still eat well and workout. I bike, run ( I can go 6mph pace for almost an hour), walk my dog, swim, pushups situps pull ups ( never did one in my life) etc. I feel great not just because im thinner but also im healthier. I still strive to discipline myself after all I do have hidden loose skin I intend to tighten. I may not be focused on weight loss now though I wouldnt mind a few more lbs at 200 flat. Now I focus more on strength exercise... so yeah thats my story in a nut shell. Im a certainly a better person now.

I wish I can post my pics here but im doing this on my phone however I do have some in my profile. Please feel free to take a look.

SnazzIT

Wow!, amazing story...you know I understand totally about the "revenge" stuff...because it happened with me and my first husband (weight loss was far from my mind then..) I lost 20kgs when I left him after finding out he cheated continuosly throughout our marriage. I never thought that I would ever give my heart away again, but as it happens, after changing my life and learning to love myself again, I now have the most wonderful person as my husband...I now realize a crisis sometimes happens to take us out of a relationship that was never meant to be. Well done, and thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

xgamblorx

Thank you I appreciate it. Though I must admit I suppose this story isnt over yet. For obvious reasons I havent trusted anyone since even when theyve given me their best effort to earn my trust. Also noticed whenever im angry or frustrated I go straight to an intense workout. I know it may not be a good thing but I think its a lot better than drowning in alcohol. Either way im fine with as is. Im sure and feel that things are slowly but surely falling into place as it should. Ive experienced marriage and I understand it a lot more know though be it for a heavy price. Im 31 but physically I feel as if im 21. In both a good and bad way im in the best shape of my life then ever.

Alatariel75

Wonderful story and good for you! You look great and what's more - you SOUND great. It does take a long time to let yourself trust again, but you seem to be 100% on the right track and are all around in the right mindframe!

bomftdrum

That is a great story. It is amazing how you took a bad event and transformed it into something awesome for you. Congrats on your lifestyle change.. She will be one realizing that she messed up.

Chimis_Siq

Great story. You must be very proud of yourself because you are a very strong person. To dig oneself out of a hole like that and continue fighting, thats the real strength. They say all karma comes around and I truly believe that. It is amazing what exercise does for the soul. Natures antidepressant right? thanks again for inspiring me today!!

SkimFlatWhite68

Wow.

Your ex-wife did you an enormous favour. You would not have become the man that you are today if she wasn't so trashy. She was not worthy of you. Congratulations on getting rid of her and finding yourself.

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

The answer is never in a bottle and it might not be in a run either, but it's a lot better for us! Now that you are starting to love yourself, you'll find someone who will love you, all of you, as well. Keep up the good work.

RodaRose

Wow. Those pictures show how much you have traveled. You are doing great. Thanks for sharing your story.

xgamblorx

Thank you all. Yes as unfortunate as what happen the truth is I could not possibly have done this all and be who I am now without those events. I know myself well enough to see that, yeah I do get bitter at times about it but I have no regrets. I believe the biggest necessity of losing weight or changing ones lifestyle habits os having that one unbreakable determination or motivation. Its what got me here and from others who have done the same I have it seems they had that one determining factor or reason they could never break. Sure no one wants to be over weight but that reason isnt usually enough. Another positive thing thats come out of this is the determination and discipline ive gained, ive been able to apply it to other aspects of my life such as work and what not. Anyhoo for anyone reading this whos struggling or feelong discouraged. Just remember its not necessarily the results that make you but the struggle and journey that took you there is what changes you.

viva_la_mandee

That is so awesome that you took something so negative and turned it into something positive. You have a very inspiring story.

lynpcooper

Thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration and you look great.

nutmegoreo

Thank-you for sharing this very personal story. You have done some great things. I have been told that part of trusting others is learning to trust yourself, that you can handle whatever situation comes out of it. You have demonstrated that ability. Be proud of yourself. You are stronger than you may realize. :flowerforyou:

VanessaRudden

Well Done for keeping going -your amazing! VERY inspiring story.

RekindledRose

Very inspiring! I'm glad that your attempt with the booze and the pills didn't work. There are better days ahead!