wanting to lose but lacking the confidence

sAlexRice13

I am (in 2 days) 23yrs old, 5'6, and 160lbs... My goal weight is 130. I'm not an inactive person(I have a 2.5yr old and a (almost) 4 month old), I'm always on my feet at work and don't sit much at home. My problem? I have about 0 confidence in my body and myself... I look in the mirror and I see every flab and such. Don't get me wrong, there are parts of my body I love(like my lower legs and hiney, lol) but most of the rest I just wish I could get rid of... And my mind-confidence it about as bad... I got mfp to help me keep track of what I eat and how much I move, but seeing the caloric numbers and everything(even when its under my daily caloric goal) make me freak out... Its never been easy for me to lose weight in my belly, neck(I know its an almost impossible place to lose but it bugs me), love handles, and thighs, and it has gotten significantly harder after 2 pregnancies... I guess what I'm looking for is people who have had similar mind/body confidence problems... I feel guilty every time I eat, unless its a salad or something(but then I feel guilty about the amount of dressing I'm putting on) even when its lean, protein, low calorie, low carb, etc... (I know it sounds like an eating disorder, but I love food too much to ever have one, lol) I feel constantly hungry, no matter how much I have eaten, and subsequently feel constantly guilty BC I give in to the chocolate bar/cupcake/etc. Have any of you had this problem? How did you get past it to see food as more than just a number that affects your weight? Please help!!!

sAlexRice13

Oh and I forgot to add with my stats that I'm a size 14 right now as well...

KatiePapaya

I had the exact same issue (except I was a sedentary 16year old and 175lbs.) I went through a phase of guilt for eating ANYTHING-- lettuce, veggies the lot! I jumped for joy when I added up my calories one day and hit 758! However, I was also sad, tired, anemic and had a really low immune system. :sick:
You could try viewing your food and calories as fuel rather than an indulgence? Once I started viewing things like that hitting my goals was easier. I still freak out occasionally, especially since I'm on maintenance calories, but seeing food as an energy source rather than a naughty, bad thing certainly helped.

(On a different note, I'm in awe of anyone who can handle two kids under three! :noway: )

bcattoes

Losing weight is unlikely to make you love your body or change your mindset. You have to do that. Focus on the good and realize that you are not perfect and you never will be. Nobody is.

Just be the best you that you can be. Don't restrict your diet so much that feel the need to binge on chocolate and cupcakes. Allow yourself a cupcake or chocolate bar once in a while. Thin fit people eat treats too. There is no need to feel guilty about eating. A healthy diet can include some not-so-heathy foods. It's all about balance.

Best of luck to you.

Cathie2565

I hear you. I am 5''6 and got to 153. I decided I wanted to get healthy, so I bought a USED treadmill (it was not a fancy one, and only $150), so I started walking three times a week for 30 mins. Then I did it 5 times a week. Then back to 3 but for 45 mins and at 3.6 speed. I felt better for exercising, so it made me not want to eat all the sweet stuff. I got MyFitnessPal and put my food in and it made me chose my calories well. Rather than Oreo Double Stuff, I'd eat a a Skinny Cow lowfat ice cream that was 90 cals. Sweet and yummy and not so fatty. Anyway, buying the treadmill was the best thing I could do. I had young children, but I did it when they were napping. I just bouht a FitBit One to track my activity also. It was amzaing that after exercising for a couple weeks, it became a habit. And I wanted to. I also felt more sexy and more willing to show myself - also, it made me feel like more with myhusband, since he noticed my dedication. Good luck and don't give up. Just ask yourself if you feel like something sweet or salty if it's worth the calories and the guilt. I'd rather have a handful of salted peanuts than a bag of chips - healthier. Or like I said, a Skinny Cow ice cream over those fatty cookies - and they have Special K foods (I ate frozen breakfast sandwiches because I could see they were low cal) and they have low cal ice creams. Good luck!!

TNStuart

I had a hard time starting as well, I kept thinking, I'll start after ____ or I will once I do______. Finally I decided I didn't care about the number on the scale, I just wanted to be healthy and if the pounds came off then that would be an added bonus. The next time I jumped on the scale I was amazed to see that it was working. After I realized that it was working it was a lot easier.

Also I am fond of saying, "If not now, when?"

-Stuart-

lee91356

My best advise is always to start small, make small and manageable changes. The best success is about making lifestyle changes that you know you will be able to maintain even after the weight loss. Also keep in mind that this is not just about how you look its about your health and improving it so you can be around longer and spend time with your babies.

Start first by logging a typical day and see how your calories add up and where you need the most alterations - is it breakfacts, snacks, do you graze, etc?
Then you will know where to start it could be cut out sweet/ sugary drinks or cut out one snack or adding extra vegetables, something small and you will see the ball roll from there.

Good luck

nancybuss

Your body can do a lot more than your mind can.

Start a mindset of being HEALTHY.... not this part vs that part.

Learn to eat healthier and do that.

Start to exercise with things you Love

Find a small accountability group that helps with your motivation

Take it One Day at a time. You CAN do it. Listen to motivational things to build your confidence.

Nancy

sAlexRice13

I tend to be an on/off grazer... May have a larger breakfast with eggs and maybe toast, or a dinner of lean chicken green veggies(broccoli, green beans, etc) but snack thru the day(handful of this, protein bar there, stuff like that). Usually my calories don't go over 1200-1400 and I move enough to have a deficit, but nothings moving(scale or pants size)... I know it doesn't happen overnight, and I'm not expecting it to. I've been at this for months... I know its a lot of mental when it comes to losing weight or toning, and I have days I feel great and am happy about everything... But then I look in the mirror and see the flab, put on shorts and see the "thunder" thighs, or take a picture with my kids and see the side-boob-tank chunk and double chin and it just tears down my confidence... We have no money(so gyms and equipment aren't an option), live in the middle of the Arizona desert(so walking is hard BC of 110-120* heat), and no local resources for team workouts(none of my friends are ever available to do it with me and its literally a 30mile drive to even get to anything or anyone)... I only really view food as fuel, but I keep questioning myself when I see the numbers as to if I need as much fuel as I "want"... I just want to feel sexy for the hubby again, and not cringe and break down when I see my reflection... I hate that feeling... You know?

sAlexRice13

Oh and I only ever drink water aside from the occasional cup of morning coffee with 0calorie sweetener and non dairy creamer, or hot green tea with honey if my throat is sore and dry... And the lack of money makes it easy to not eat out...

ATyghter

Take it one day at a time. It's so easy to get caught up in the big picture and how you feel at the current time. It's even harder just after a baby. I didn't know my head from my tail after my daughter was born and I certainly was not happy about my appearance. What I started to realize is that time was going to just keep ticking by and if I did nothing then I would only stay where I was or get worse but if I kept plugging away at it every day, it'd eventually get better.

Don't feel guilty about eating. Try to focus on whole real foods... things that don't come in a package. Take it one meal at a time, one day a time. Also, exercise always helps. I started with 15 minutes in the morning. It was easy to commit to because it was such a short period of time and I knew I'd be able to get in 15 min while my daughter napped. Eventually I was able to build up to more but start slow and just keep at it.

wungubele

you can do it...you are certainly at the right website for support ! mfp community rocks!

shortyblueyes

Hello! I am also two days in. I love this myfitnesspal website, it is so easy to use!
If you're 5'6", I personally think 130 is maybe too thin - but I assume you know you best - so go for it, but be careful. If you find weight loss comes easy to you, please don't go too far. Being healthy is much more important than being thin. I am 5'4" and my doctor said try for 20 lbs. lost. I am about 208 now, so I personally think I would like to lose 50 total. Maybe even 60 in a perfect world. But even in high school, I was running around 140, and my body carries this extra weight the same as my other family members. So genetics happens to play a role. Something to think about.
Good luck!!

mahanaibu

Being in a perfectionistic mode, which is kind of where you are now, is not only unkind to yourself but is counterproductive to weight loss, which is an uneven journey filled in our minds with all the things we do wrong. I know what it feels like and now that I'm older, I'm thankful to be past all that. I'm thrilled to be healthier, always planning on my next step to make it better, and I just want to live to be with my family a long, long time. and of couse, looking BETTER helps. Looking perfect? Not going to happen until I really redefine perfect in a drastically different way. ;7)

You do have options, though. You can walk early in the morning, just past dawn, perhaps, before things heat up. Better yet, there are loads of great exercise DVDs and for FREE many terrific exercise videos on youtube. Jillian Michaels has some terrific ones.

On a very practical level, I think you might be holding on to water weight. I'd suggest drinking lots of water, especially because you live in a desert. Like 10-12 glasses a day if you can fit them in.

konerusp

Im also 5"6 and 160 lbs age 28,but my size is 8.
Im thinking you have put on fat due to the pregnancy,you can start with daily exercise and calorie counting and weight lifting,weights help the fat percentage go down and look lean.Although I would like to get down to 130-140 ish Im still happy with the muscle definition I have.Im not trying to ridicule you,im just sharing my experience,I have been at your place and weight training has helped me a lot to get rid of fat pockets and shrink them down.Having muscle on the body also helps with the weight loss tremendously.Good luck.

ge105

Losing weight is unlikely to make you love your body or change your mindset. You have to do that. Focus on the good and realize that you are not perfect and you never will be. Nobody is.

Just be the best you that you can be. Don't restrict your diet so much that feel the need to binge on chocolate and cupcakes. Allow yourself a cupcake or chocolate bar once in a while. Thin fit people eat treats too. There is no need to feel guilty about eating. A healthy diet can include some not-so-heathy foods. It's all about balance.

Best of luck to you.

The truth. I have always had low self esteem and I still do, even after I've lost 30+lbs. I'm still working on it but I consider it a separate issue from weight loss. Its painfully clear that it is now that I've lost the weight but still "feel" fat. If that makes sense. I have good days and bad days. Good days are usually ones where I stop myself from saying anything about myself that I wouldn't say to a friend. Its pretty hard to do. On a side note, if you are truly hungry after your meals, I would make sure the meals you eat are as nutrient dense as possible. Whole foods made the way your great grandmother would have made them and colorful fruits and veggies. Feeling guilty about satisfying hunger isn't going to help. Find out WHY you are still hungry instead.

DaniNire

I had a major sweet tooth in the past, so bad that I was eating some kind of sugary treat with every meal. I craved sugar all the time, I'd eat it, and then I'd feel guilty like you. I broke this bad cycle by becoming committed to MFP with my husband. We've turned it into almost a game. We share with each other what we've eaten at every meal. As you watch your calories add up you find yourself not wanting to spoil your day with 600 calorie frappuccino's and slices of pizza.

The biggest thing that has helped me is agreeing to change something in my diet every week. This is what I did:

1. First I committed to giving up pop and sugary drinks. High calorie drinks add up quickly. I just drink water now, no calories/no sugar!

2. Second, I logged every meal and if the meal was high in calories I tried to figure out what I could cut out the next time to lower the calories, it's amazing how easy it is to lower calories by leaving the cheese off, or changing your salad dressing choice. Never beat yourself up for a high calorie meal, just commit to finding better choices next time.

3. Third, I decided to determine the calories in a snack or meal before deciding to eat it. If you check the calorie content before committing to eat it, you're more likely to not to eat something because it's high in calories.

4. Fourth, I searched for low calorie indulgences. A skinny vanilla latte at starbuck's is 100 calories! You need to satisfy your cravings somehow.

5. Fifth, I made my meals simple. The simpler your meals the more healthy they probably are. A piece of chicken, some vegetables and some fruit makes a meal.

6. Sixth, choose your carbs wisely. Whole grain is better. My husband and I rarely eat pasta. If we eat bread, it's wholegrain of some sort. Whole grain pita pouches are only 100 calories, and you can stuff a lot of yummy things into them.

7. If I craved something unhealthy, I would drink water and tell myself I'll go look for something to snack on in a half hour if I'm still craving something. Usually by a half hour I'd forget about wanting food.

8. I found healthy, yet satisfying snacks. Kind bars, fruit, snow peas and red pepper hummus, nuts and dried fruit mix. At first they may not seem all that great, but as you start to eat healthier you will feel better, and your body will adapt to your new food. You just have to be patient.

Here's a recipe my husband and I love! 4 ingredients, absolutely delicious and only about 245 calories! That leaves plenty of room for some veggies, fruit and maybe some whole grains of some sort.

-6 oz Thin cut chicken breast (I found at Kroger, prepackaged) (150 cal)
-1 piece of thinly sliced prosciutto (can find it at the deli counter) (20 - 30 cal)
-1 piece of muenster cheese (70 cal)
-1 tsp spicy brown mustard (5 cal)

Heat oven to 450. Flatten chicken breast with a meat smasher. Layer prosciutto, cheese and mustard on top of chicken. Fold the chicken over. Brush with a little bit of olive oil and place in greased pan. Cook for 15 to 20 minutes or until brown and no longer pink inside.

DaniNire

P.S. I hope my post, as well as everyone else's gives you some direction and inspiration! I wish you the best in your new healthy lifestyle. And remember, it's not about losing weight, it's about developing a healthy lifestyle, the weight will follow. Good Luck!!

DebTavares

Oh and I forgot to add with my stats that I'm a size 14 right now as well...

I'm 5'4, 160 lbs, but I'm a size 10. If I had your stats I would really try to focus on fitness, especially lifting. Best of luck and go easy on yourself. You deserve it.