Do you get upset if someone removes you as a friend?

girlr94

I know I should try not to take it personally, but if I notice someone has removed me as a friend, be it on MFP, Facebook, or whatever, I really take it to heart. As much as I try not to be annoying when I post things, sometimes I lose friends and I feel really guilty that I've made someone so annoyed that they feel they have to unfriend me. Does anyone else ever feel like this? I try really hard to be as supportive and friendly as I can to everyone (in real life and online). I really don't want to offend anyone but it seems I can't help it because all of a sudden they don't want to be friends with me any more!

I know some people can just take it with a pinch of salt and not care too much or move on, but I just feel so guilty once I notice that I feel compelled to send them a message apologising for upsetting them. How do you guys cope when someone deletes you?

(I also apologise if I'm being annoying just posting this, sorry)

HappyHope0123

If you know this person IRL, then yeah, I could see getting upset. If it is someone on the internet who you'll never really know anyway, why let it bother you? Did you do something to upset someone? Should they be upset by whatever you did, or are you being sensitive that they unfriended you?

jescamp9481

if you spend your whole life trying to make others happy there will be no time for yourself. We arent going to get along with every type of person/personality and that is okay. If it is someone that you care about I would make the effort to apologize and ensure the health of the relationship. If it is just some random person on my newsfeed I dont pay too much attention. Maybe your success was making them feel bad about themselves, or maybe that are in a bad relationship and have had to "get rid" of friends at the "request" of their partner.... since I cant really know what the situation is I dont let it bother me. Hope that helps!

PS: these people were not your friends in the first place, they were mere aquaintances

pteryndactyl

I'm not trying to be harsh here, but you need to stop apologizing for being you and stop worrying so much about what other people think about you. Maybe (usually) the reason they deleted you has NOTHING to do with you! You have no idea why they deleted you - maybe you didn't interact much and they didn't feel like they knew you well, maybe they wanted to minimize their friends list for personal reasons (I've seen people do that because they have exes tracking/stalking them), maybe it was an accident, maybe they realized you don't have much in common, maybe they're quitting and didn't want their FL to know, maybe they have a jealous S/O who doesn't want them to have friends........ Who knows?

Anyway, to answer your question...*if* I notice someone has deleted me, I'll think about it for a minute and then I realize usually we weren't very close or didn't interact much and it just makes sense. If it were someone I talked to daily or were close to, then yes I'd be upset...but otherwise I wouldn't feel a compulsive need to apologize to someone for something I probably didn't do.

jkal1979

On here I really don't think much of it. I figure they either deactivated, seen that I don't post much or see that our goals aren't the same.

On Facebook sometimes depending on who it is I'll wonder why they decided to unfriend me but I'm not about to ask why. I have had someone message me on there asking why they were unfriended (even though it took them a month to notice) and it was really awkward. Sometimes it's best to not know why.

dwood1231

I go through my friends list every so often anyone who has not logged on in 30 days or more i usually remove, unless i know they are inactive for a reason. If someone was to remove me, so be it...

greentart

I got upset, once, for someone removing me. But it was mainly because she had requested me as a friend because she saw that I held people accountable (that's what she said). I was, I thought, being very supportive of her and giving her suggestions when asked. However, a couple weeks later she deleted me. I contacted and asked her why, because I was a little offended and hurt. She told me that it was because of the way I said things (even though I had warned her that I was horribly blunt) and that she felt that we didn't "mesh".

Now, I don't care. I put a warning out to all of the people that add me and request me. I do remove people that aren't active enough or that aren't healthy for me, so I do my best to not take offense if someone removes me. I can't get along with everyone, no matter how much I may like to.

Jennkies

If they aren't my friend enough to keep me as a FB or MFP friend, I probably don't even notice we aren't friends anymore anyway,

MimiMedrano

I don't get upset at all. I'm not a friend collector. I'd rather have one person I really connect with and have good interaction, honest feedback etc. with than see hundreds of strangers in my "friends" list.

Francl27

Honestly... I probably wouldn't notice here LOL. Except the few friends who are pretty active and supportive. On FB I try to only be friends with people I know though so it hasn't really been an issue (I've had a few 'friends' from a close-knit forum unfriend me but it's ok, I had left the forum by then anyway).

kbmnurse

Don't care.

albayin

throughout the years I had tried to make "friends" on the internet. The truth is we didn't last....I still talk to people on the net but never take it personally any more. It's just a place to discuss ideas and share opinions. You find someone who shares your view that's bonus but if not, it's not the end of the world....

TKhamvongsa

... I don't notice. LOL I don't take things/friendships seriously on the internet. I'm there to support/motivate you and vice versa.

Alatariel75

If it was a real life friend on Facebook I'd probably ask them why. I have a rule with FB friends thought - if I ran into you in the street, would I offer to buy you a beer? If the answer is no, you don't make my friends list. I don't have FB friends who aren't IRL friends.

On here, I'd really not notice unless it was someone I interacted with a lot and it probably wouldn't bother me, I'd assume they had their reasons.

Alatariel75

throughout the years I had tried to make "friends" on the internet. The truth is we didn't last....I still talk to people on the net but never take it personally any more. It's just a place to discuss ideas and share opinions. You find someone who shares your view that's bonus but if not, it's not the end of the world....

I've had the opposite experience - all of my oldest friends, I'm talking 12-13 years we've been friends, I met online on a nerd forum

littleburgy

I haven't had that happen on FB too much save for one self-righteous turd.

On here, I had someone add me and then they dropped me in the same day. WTF.

albayin

throughout the years I had tried to make "friends" on the internet. The truth is we didn't last....I still talk to people on the net but never take it personally any more. It's just a place to discuss ideas and share opinions. You find someone who shares your view that's bonus but if not, it's not the end of the world....

I've had the opposite experience - all of my oldest friends, I'm talking 12-13 years we've been friends, I met online on a nerd forum

we were friends for a while and then things seemed just fizzled out by itself...I guess distance made difference.

Having said that my best friends are the ones from high school although we live apart...

Birder155

No, not on here.

I've removed everyone from my list as I prefer to do this alone. I find I'm more accountable and honest with my logging without mfp friends.

Don't take it to heart.

haildodger

I wouldn't worry. I've removed people because they had their diary private, and one person simply because of over-posting. It's rarely if ever, anything personal. How can it be if I do not know them?

Now if someone blocks you, then you can take that personally. :P

Evelynnn2014

Wierd as it sounds, I've deleted people I really like because I spend too much time on mfp. Then I'm less chatty and "get in, get out" quicker.

Alatariel75

I haven't had that happen on FB too much save for one self-righteous turd.

On here, I had someone add me and then they dropped me in the same day. WTF.

I've done that, I've accepted a request from someone with a closed profile and once I looked at their profile and diary I deleted them again.

maidentl

No. On here, I've been known to say, "Oh darn, I liked her!" but then I'm over it. I figure life got in the way, i was too inactive, whatever. If it's because my diary is private, then BYE, you don't NEED to know what I eat.

On Facebook, if it's someone I am still close with on a daily basis I'd probably ask them but for old pals from high school, if I even noticed, I'd probably just assume our politics have taken us in different directions.

albayin

I haven't had that happen on FB too much save for one self-righteous turd.

On here, I had someone add me and then they dropped me in the same day. WTF.

I've done that, I've accepted a request from someone with a closed profile and once I looked at their profile and diary I deleted them again.

wow....

albayin

I don't accept friend invite here and I don't do Facebook...For the first one it's just because I have nothing to share on my profile. for the latter, it's a personal choice.

3laine75

Nope. Don't sweat it, its probably just taking them too long to get through everyone's posts. This is all I have and it's too much, imagine if someone has this, Facebook, tumblr, twitter or whatever, it takes too long, people get cut, sometimes it's you. It's not personal just the internet

oedipa_maas

No, I take it cheerfully. Maybe it's nothing personal, maybe it is. We can't be all things to all people.

To be honest, I wish I could defriend myself. Man, I clog up my newsfeed, especially with pug nonsense.

Alatariel75

I haven't had that happen on FB too much save for one self-righteous turd.

On here, I had someone add me and then they dropped me in the same day. WTF.

I've done that, I've accepted a request from someone with a closed profile and once I looked at their profile and diary I deleted them again.

wow....

Why wow? I couldn't see their profile before I accepted, I accepted then realised they 100% did not have any of the same ideals, goals etc as me, and didn't think that we could mutually benefit each other in any way, so I deleted.

albayin

Nope. Don't sweat it, its probably just taking them too long to get through everyone's posts. This is all I have and it's too much, imagine if someone has this, Facebook, tumblr, twitter or whatever, it takes too long, people get cut, sometimes it's you. It's not personal just the internet

"It's not personal (sonny), its just business"
-the GodFather

CindyMarcuzAdams

I have not really noticed. Tho I wouldn't be upset.
I will remove you after a 2 week absence unless you say something.
I am an active member and want active friends.
If that makes me terrible then so be it...

RosanaRosanaDana

I stay friends with people who motivate me to achieve my goal. That's why they became my friends right? Suppose I find that I am always rooting them on but their not doing the same for me, I unfriend them. It takes a lot of time to help people, I expect the same for me. Sorry, but I'm here for a reason. I'm really looking for support.

brower47

I don't even notice. Sometimes I wonder if my list number has changed or not but I can never remember. So no, I don't get upset but I'm not much of a social media person (this is place is the closest I get to that sort of thing). That might be why I just don't care if someone I don't really, truly know decides they don't want to be my MFP "friend" anymore. I like the people in my list just fine, especially the active folks but if they decided to bounce, they obviously had a reason. I'm not controlling enough of a person to need to know why though there's a handful of that might make me wonder why (the people that I interact with the most).