Overeating in ED recovery.. is this normal ):
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none of us can determine if she is binging or reactive eating -only she can and her support group physicians.0
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you need professional help this binging is a phase because you suddenly realised everything that is happening (anorexia) so you allow yourself to eat and can't control your hunger because you have been starved for so long if you are not on a strict ree feeding meal plan you are at risk or a heat attack and also when this binging phase happens it means you are not in recovery and something has just scared you like going into a eating disorders unit or fainting....
If I deciphered this post correctly, it really isn't true. And you don't need to scare the OP. It's not helpful.
OP should focus on her mental health and recovery. The last thing the OP needs is a strict anything. She should eat when she feels like eating and be proud of herself for letting it happen.
you don't know enough about her physical + mental health0 -
Ah thanks for the responses guys.
It does happen often now. My body craves it and even though my ED voice says to don't eat it, I'm trying to give my body nourishment. Given that it is the early beginnings of recovery, is it okay to mainly eat A LOT of high sugary/ calorie foods? I know its very unhealthy, and iusally do stick to whole foods.. it's just lately I've been eating a lot of these foods ON TOP of my regular meals.. ==" it's very triggering and makes me very prone for relapsing sigh.
For example, today, I had tuna and mixed bean thingy, large bowl of porridge, a large salad thing (from those food courts - sumo salad - where they slick it in sauce.. not good but not too bad either)... but THATS the healthy stuff...
The unhealthy stuff (not really binge, just eating a lot throughout the day sporadically) later on was almost like:
Almond muesli bars x THREE FML (so sugary sigh)
Dark chocolate 2 squares
Probs like 2 handfuls mixed nuts and dried fruit...
3 slices of bread with A LOT of PB...
..
Idk, i guess I'm just feeling anxious. I actually don't feel like I'm full or stuffed. I KNOW it's for me to gain weight... but I still feel like I had an unhealthy day...
A stupid question then: will this affect me badly... will it make me gain weight in just one day like this? Keepin in mind my calories for the past few days have been around 2500. Today it was like 3500+ ):
That is all healthy stuff, OP. Try to stop thinking in terms of healthy and unhealthy foods anyway. It's part of what got you to restrictive eating in the first place.0 -
you need professional help this binging is a phase because you suddenly realised everything that is happening (anorexia) so you allow yourself to eat and can't control your hunger because you have been starved for so long if you are not on a strict ree feeding meal plan you are at risk or a heat attack and also when this binging phase happens it means you are not in recovery and something has just scared you like going into a eating disorders unit or fainting....
If I deciphered this post correctly, it really isn't true. And you don't need to scare the OP. It's not helpful.
OP should focus on her mental health and recovery. The last thing the OP needs is a strict anything. She should eat when she feels like eating and be proud of herself for letting it happen.
you don't know enough about her physical + mental health
And what did I say that is in any way a diagnosis? I have a history of ED and have successfully overcome anorexia, bulimia and laxative abuse. I stand by my advice that the OP should focus on her mental health rather than the exact amount of calories she is eating. Of course, to do this she should seek counseling for help and support. Being on a strict diet, however, is not recommended in most cases as EDs are control disorders that strict anything can trigger.
And that's not even getting into the fact that she ate around 1,000 calories of pretty healthy food that is fueling her body for recovery.0 -
Ah thanks for the responses guys.
It does happen often now. My body craves it and even though my ED voice says to don't eat it, I'm trying to give my body nourishment. Given that it is the early beginnings of recovery, is it okay to mainly eat A LOT of high sugary/ calorie foods? I know its very unhealthy, and iusally do stick to whole foods.. it's just lately I've been eating a lot of these foods ON TOP of my regular meals.. ==" it's very triggering and makes me very prone for relapsing sigh.
For example, today, I had tuna and mixed bean thingy, large bowl of porridge, a large salad thing (from those food courts - sumo salad - where they slick it in sauce.. not good but not too bad either)... but THATS the healthy stuff...
The unhealthy stuff (not really binge, just eating a lot throughout the day sporadically) later on was almost like:
Almond muesli bars x THREE FML (so sugary sigh)
Dark chocolate 2 squares
Probs like 2 handfuls mixed nuts and dried fruit...
3 slices of bread with A LOT of PB...
..
Idk, i guess I'm just feeling anxious. I actually don't feel like I'm full or stuffed. I KNOW it's for me to gain weight... but I still feel like I had an unhealthy day...
A stupid question then: will this affect me badly... will it make me gain weight in just one day like this? Keepin in mind my calories for the past few days have been around 2500. Today it was like 3500+ ):
That is all healthy stuff, OP. Try to stop thinking in terms of healthy and unhealthy foods anyway. It's part of what got you to restrictive eating in the first place.
^ And also this.0 -
Thank you for everyone's contributions - honestly this community is helping me push on forward. Recovery IS scary. It's SO scary - but one thing I find thats constructive (not gonna say it's helpful because I HATE it) is having no scales around. The number screws with my mind - and so my mum hid it. There's gym scales, but I'm just too terrified now because I KNOW i've gained... I just don't know HOW DRASTICALLY HIGH it has become....
Just to clarify, no i'm not binging or turning into having a BED.
It is very much reactive eating. I don't feel like i'm losing control or lose 'conscience' when i start gorging myself on food. I realise i tend to overeat after I've eaten a healthy meal void of good dietary fats. I'd immediately go for some fats - esp healthy fats - like peanut butter sandwiches or nuts afterwards.. I feel it is my body trying to repair itself esp when i used to only eat like 10-15grams of fat per day..
i even sleep like a baby after eating these fatty foods aha ^^
But even though I'm recognising some benefits, and KNOW i must gain weight, I'm still terrified of going forward. Like last night I overate again (again not BED - this is a serious disorder and I know I;m not in it). I ate 5 tim tams, 4 almond muesli bars (they're so sugary ): ), 2 oreos and 5 shortbread cookies). I actually did it on purpose because i was having a talk with my mum and she was so terrified and distressed for me because she could feel my hipbones, and see my veins in my arms - she looked like she was gonna cry.
I felt proud. But so fearful
But then the next day rather than restricting food, I tried to compensate with exercise... I feel that I do less of the restriction thing, which is a HUGE improvement/ change. But is exercising bad in recovery too?
The good thing is i get hungry after the exercise. But the bad thing is that when i realise i've already eaten around 1300 calories by lunch, I start to panic and feel the wave of stress, anxiety and guilt, shame, fear etc.
So even though I gorged last night and feel extremely scared about it, I'm still pushing forward:
Bowl of oatmeal with scoop of protein powder (breakfast)
GYM
1 PB sandwich w 2 slices of toast) (snack)
1 sugary museli bar (snack) -> i see these things as so bad LOL they're huge: probs with like 10grams of fat coz of the loaded nuts and shiz and HEAPS of sugar gahh
Big bowl of soba noodles with ****ake and 2 tbps peanut sauce (lunch)
Its already 1300 calories and there's still like dinner to eat... sigh. Is what i've eaten bad.Too much? How much is too much? Exercise - should I? Is what i'm doing bad ? OMGGG0 -
I do not have a history of ED...but this sounds kind of normal for me every once in a while!0
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Thank you for everyone's contributions - honestly this community is helping me push on forward. Recovery IS scary. It's SO scary - but one thing I find thats constructive (not gonna say it's helpful because I HATE it) is having no scales around. The number screws with my mind - and so my mum hid it. There's gym scales, but I'm just too terrified now because I KNOW i've gained... I just don't know HOW DRASTICALLY HIGH it has become....
Just to clarify, no i'm not binging or turning into having a BED.
It is very much reactive eating. I don't feel like i'm losing control or lose 'conscience' when i start gorging myself on food. I realise i tend to overeat after I've eaten a healthy meal void of good dietary fats. I'd immediately go for some fats - esp healthy fats - like peanut butter sandwiches or nuts afterwards.. I feel it is my body trying to repair itself esp when i used to only eat like 10-15grams of fat per day..
i even sleep like a baby after eating these fatty foods aha ^^
But even though I'm recognising some benefits, and KNOW i must gain weight, I'm still terrified of going forward. Like last night I overate again (again not BED - this is a serious disorder and I know I;m not in it). I ate 5 tim tams, 4 almond muesli bars (they're so sugary ): ), 2 oreos and 5 shortbread cookies). I actually did it on purpose because i was having a talk with my mum and she was so terrified and distressed for me because she could feel my hipbones, and see my veins in my arms - she looked like she was gonna cry.
I felt proud. But so fearful
But then the next day rather than restricting food, I tried to compensate with exercise... I feel that I do less of the restriction thing, which is a HUGE improvement/ change. But is exercising bad in recovery too?
The good thing is i get hungry after the exercise. But the bad thing is that when i realise i've already eaten around 1300 calories by lunch, I start to panic and feel the wave of stress, anxiety and guilt, shame, fear etc.
So even though I gorged last night and feel extremely scared about it, I'm still pushing forward:
Bowl of oatmeal with scoop of protein powder (breakfast)
GYM
1 PB sandwich w 2 slices of toast) (snack)
1 sugary museli bar (snack) -> i see these things as so bad LOL they're huge: probs with like 10grams of fat coz of the loaded nuts and shiz and HEAPS of sugar gahh
Big bowl of soba noodles with ****ake and 2 tbps peanut sauce (lunch)
Its already 1300 calories and there's still like dinner to eat... sigh. Is what i've eaten bad.Too much? How much is too much? Exercise - should I? Is what i'm doing bad ? OMGGG
You are doing really well. Please don't panic. Have you got a doctors diet plan or professional help?
You're in England yes?
You can get there, I know how you feel, those awful emotional waves. I've got to the point where I can net 2000 calories and feel really happy about eating everything. That means I eat all my exercise calories. I go up to 3000 some days! I maintain at 127lb and 15-18% body fat. I even love me curves and jiggle nowadays, because my weight training has made it sit nicely. I'd hate to be willowy nowadays.
I restricted badly for a long time, and never ever came close to having the body I wanted. It was slim but had no shape.
Remember that when you eat, the scales show not just body fat gain. You won't get that when you're eating at maintenance.
There's other things that go into the equation, it's a long list..... The weight of the extra food itself, in the system, the waste, the water that every part of your body holds, from the inside out, the glycogen stores in your muscles and liver, the weight of your bones and blood volume. The weight of your muscles.
My goal nowadays is to have all those things except body fat as full and heavy as possible, because that means
I can perform well in sports and build muscle
Have loads of energy to enjoy life
Have mental well being and positive outlook
Enjoy every mouthful of my food up to my maintenance level (and over when I'm bulking) no guilt.
Skin looks incredible, curves all pumped up, feel bouncy.
The list goes on.
I'm telling you this to give you hope that there's a happy way to live with food, where you can be guilt free.
Nowadays to burn body fat, which is low enough now, I go 100 calories under my maintenance level, barely noticable. I've put my body through too much in the past to abuse it any more.
From what I've read about recovery, you're supposed to be eating net 2500/3000 a day. So every time you exercise you need to eat those calories too. I'd lay off the gym for a bit and get yourself some proper support, you aren't able to do it on your own as your brain has been altered by the restricted calories. You won't think straight for a while. It's normal, don't worry, the body has amazing abilities to heal. It's the altered brain that gives you the distorted image.
Ps, top tip, avoid mirrors and looking at yourself in reflections for a bit. One day you'll be so proud of yourself you will love looking at your body. It can happen.0 -
^ thank you so much.
I'm in australia aha.
Gives me hope and just a bit of happiness to know that being bigger isn't all bad. I also want to get strong. I love the gym, working out and hopefully one day I want to lift and squat and train BIG.
But i'll be needing a healthy fit body for that. Aha. So i guess I just tend to panic at the amount/ type of food I'm eating. Im trying to get in touch with my hunger cues/ listening to my body etc. But that's just off atm.
I have professional help in the form of a psychologist.. but after the first session, i'm having doubts. She pretty much tells me everything i already know and doesn't really offer a solution to tackle my disordered thoughts. ED recovery isn't just about weight restoration but also able eliminating those ED thoughts... and seriously, i think that's going to be impossible at this rate.0 -
^ thank you so much.
I'm in australia aha.
Gives me hope and just a bit of happiness to know that being bigger isn't all bad. I also want to get strong. I love the gym, working out and hopefully one day I want to lift and squat and train BIG.
But i'll be needing a healthy fit body for that. Aha. So i guess I just tend to panic at the amount/ type of food I'm eating. Im trying to get in touch with my hunger cues/ listening to my body etc. But that's just off atm.
I have professional help in the form of a psychologist.. but after the first session, i'm having doubts. She pretty much tells me everything i already know and doesn't really offer a solution to tackle my disordered thoughts. ED recovery isn't just about weight restoration but also able eliminating those ED thoughts... and seriously, i think that's going to be impossible at this rate.
I'd give it a bit (or a lot)longer. You really also need to be in a monitored eating program with professionals that know what they are doing.
Therapy can seem simple and obvious sometimes, but it will usually work. Your hunger hormones can't be trusted, as can your thinking right now, that's why you need others around you. I wish I'd done this 20 years ago, but I'm a typical stubborn perfectionist who thinks they know best. Nope. I needed proper help to get my brain working right.
Before you get into training you need to repair your body or you'll run into all sorts of trouble. You're going to have to eat over maintenance for a while. It's going to be terrifying but there are lots of people here that have done it. It's the best thing you can do. Stop trying to create a deficit with your exercise.
Ps the hottest women on the planet in my opinion are in healthy bmi range. 19 to 25.
I prefer being 19/20 as I'm fine boned, with body fat under 20% but not much under as I don't like being too cut.0 -
When I first started recovering from ana I binged on so many 'fatty' foods. Your body will try to eat as much of high cal foods as it can for a while in case of another 'famine'. It's totally normal. Once you are eating again for a while your body will realize it and stop.
Try to prepare wholesome high calorie meals and it you want dessert after that, go for it!0 -
I hope things get better for you soon.0
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Yes, it is normal. It will be like this for A WHILE, so the best thing to do is try not to let it freak you out and just go with it. I realize that's easier said than done though. I am recovered from an ED and during recovery I "binged" on 6000 - 8000 calories a day, mostly consisting of poptarts and chocolate. I went from a BMI of 11 to a BMI of 28. It was needed to for me to heal, both my brain & my body. Today I maintain a BMI of 19 - 20 and have no desire to eat like that. I couldn't even attempt to eat more than 3000 a day, nor do I have any urge to, because I am well fed and have no recent history of malnourishment. I eat three well portioned meals a day, everyday, and a snack or two (and yes I still eat "unhealthy" food).
These websites may help you:
http://www.youreatopia.com/forums
uzilu.com0
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