More Joy without MFP, but also more weight

Hello everyone,

I have checked out MFP off and on for years. I'm 22 years old and finishing up college. I live at home with my family. I have an amazing boyfriend (soon to be fiance!) of 3 years. I am 5'2 and 180-185 pounds. I am in the obese BMI category. I dont like being overweight and i know i have to track what i eat in order to lose weight. But i feel like it is all i think about when i'm cou ting calories. I have tried a few times to just not do anything. To not be counting calories or pigging out. Just be. I find im much happier that way. I'll even leave behind food on my plate! But i dont really lose weight that way. Sometimes i even gain. Part of the problem i think, is i have OCD.ithink my brain likes to obsess about things and keeps them buzzing around my mind. So i wear myself out before i really got started. Im starting to wonder if i would be healthier, happier, losing weight some other way. Does anyone have advice or similar experiences? Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Replies

BigT555

i am the same way in that i think about my weight and whatnot moreso now then before joining MFP (not that i didnt think about it before) but its worth it. "out of sight, out of mind" does not apply well to this situation, i would rather obsess about something and actively try to fix rather than not think about it and always have the same problems. sooner or later you gotta do something about it, why not now

sarahfeelingood

Yeah that make sense. I guess I feel sad when I think about starting because I know how unhappy I will be. I feel disconnected from everything else in my life because losing weight has become the priority. Don't get me wrong, health should definitely be a priority. But I feel like for me I am almost a little depressed when I start using MFP/counting calories. To me, it's almost worth it to be overweight but happy in my relationships, work, etc than to be thin but sad and obsessed with losing/maintaining weight. Did you ever feel that way?

lindsayindsay

I think you need to try looking at the situation from a different perspective. You're never going to enjoy yourself if you imagine just how unhappy you're going to be. Start thinking of alternatives to what you could be eating- obsess over that. Look up healthy recipes, routes around your home you could walk, activities to get involved in that get you moving. It's not a starve out, and it's not running on the treadmill for 10 hours a day. Start slow too. You CAN be happy and dieting!

NuggetLovesEdie

Have you thought about changing your eating so that you don't have to track calories?

For example, Mark Bittman's approach "vegan before 6pm" sets some expectations of how to eat for life so that you don't have to track calories. He prioritizes leafy vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and nuts and minimizes or eliminates as much processed food as possible, and gives some excellent health and environmental reasons for doing so.

BigT555

Have you thought about changing your eating so that you don't have to track calories?

For example, Mark Bittman's approach "vegan before 6pm" sets some expectations of how to eat for life so that you don't have to track calories. He prioritizes leafy vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and nuts and minimizes or eliminates as much processed food as possible, and gives some excellent health and environmental reasons for doing so.

you will still gain weight if you go vegan and eat more calories than you burn though. there are tricks and tips that help you stay within a calorie limit without realizing it but it usually boils down to simply burning off more than you eat

BigT555

Yeah that make sense. I guess I feel sad when I think about starting because I know how unhappy I will be. I feel disconnected from everything else in my life because losing weight has become the priority. Don't get me wrong, health should definitely be a priority. But I feel like for me I am almost a little depressed when I start using MFP/counting calories. To me, it's almost worth it to be overweight but happy in my relationships, work, etc than to be thin but sad and obsessed with losing/maintaining weight. Did you ever feel that way?

i havent personally but i know that some definitely feel that way. this lifestyle isnt for everyone, there are negatives that come along with all the benefits. ive heard stories of people who reach their goal weight and then just get consciously bigger again just because the lifestyle isnt worth it for them

Reevsie123

I think I eat more using MFP as if it's within my allowance I can eat it, if I had no idea where I was I would not treat myself or if I did I would feel guilty

daw0518

I think when I first started it was hard because I felt like I was totally obsessive about it, but I think that over time, after you've been tracking calories for 6 months - a year, it starts to feel more like second nature and less like you're obsessing. You probably eat a lot of the same foods and eat at the same restaurants, so it becomes easier to go grocery shopping, pick things from a menu, and log it in MFP without it taking too much thought or a lot of your time.

BigT555

I think when I first started it was hard because I felt like I was totally obsessive about it, but I think that over time, after you've been tracking calories for 6 months - a year, it starts to feel more like second nature and less like you're obsessing. You probably eat a lot of the same foods and eat at the same restaurants, so it becomes easier to go grocery shopping, pick things from a menu, and log it in MFP without it taking too much thought or a lot of your time.

definitely agree with this. theres alot of stigma when it comes to calorie counting but you get used to the new habits

TiffieLand

For me, even without MFP. I know I am going over my calories limit. I look at what I'm eating and taking in how much I am eating. MFP is just a jog down of everything and help me not get over the calories limit. I think without MFP, I can lie to myself that it's alright while with MFP I can see clearly why I'm gaining and etc. I don't think of tracking what I eat is stressful although i do think of exercise as stressful. All those sore days. Don't be too tedious in tracking and just enjoy knowing what you put in your body.

NuggetLovesEdie

Big T,

Yes, it does come down to calories in versus calories out.

However, many people find they get more feelings of fullness and satisfaction when they eat more fiber and nutrient dense foods. There's a LOT more bulk in 200 calories of spinach compared to 200 calories of candy bar.

I encourage people to check out what Bittman has to say. He boils eating down to three pretty simple rules... Eat food (things your great great great grandmother would recognize as food), not too much (calorie dense foods in moderation, mostly unlimited amounts of leafy greens and fruits because it's hard to over eat those things due to the fullness factor), mostly plants (because it's better for our health and the health of the planet).

I was responding to the OP's concerns about OCD/feeling miserable being over focused on calories. A strategy like vegan before 6 might be helpful to eat in a way that makes it difficult to over eat while reducing the need to focus on caloric intake. ETA: Because a strategy like vegan before 6 naturally limits the amounts of calorically dense foods you have access to.

Sometimes changing the strategy makes the obsessiveness go down.

unknown

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BigT555

Big T,

Yes, it does come down to calories in versus calories out.

However, many people find they get more feelings of fullness and satisfaction when they eat more fiber and nutrient dense foods. There's a LOT more bulk in 200 calories of spinach compared to 200 calories of candy bar.

I encourage people to check out what Bittman has to say. He boils eating down to three pretty simple rules... Eat food (things your great great great grandmother would recognize as food), not too much (calorie dense foods in moderation, mostly unlimited amounts of leafy greens and fruits because it's hard to over eat those things due to the fullness factor), mostly plants (because it's better for our health and the health of the planet).

I was responding to the OP's concerns about OCD/feeling miserable being over focused on calories. A strategy like vegan before 6 might be helpful to eat in a way that makes it difficult to over eat while reducing the need to focus on caloric intake. ETA: Because a strategy like vegan before 6 naturally limits the amounts of calorically dense foods you have access to.

Sometimes changing the strategy makes the obsessiveness go down.

agreed. if you are opposed to counting calories that would be a good approach, and even if you are counting that is a good approach both for feelings of satiety and general health

OkamiLavande

Some people don't like the obsessive feeling they get tracking calories while others do. For me, I know that if I don't track every bit of food that goes in my mouth I will surely gain weight because my medications have weight gain side effects and if I'm not careful of what I eat I start to increasingly over eat and not notice it. It's nice to know what I'm putting in my body nutrient wise, and even though I can't eat the best of foods right now, I still know how it's effecting my macros and micros and I do my best to get something in each goal.

ftrobbie

I went for a slightly different approach,plan out many days in advance, weigh stuff out in advance into containers and then it is just pick and mix. Veggies, meats pre cooked or fresh, frozen fish parcels, fruit etc. I don't need to obsess because it is in correct size portions for me. The obsessive part of me gets a workout when I need to prep things again. I use a whole host of costco containers to store portions in. Over a few days it all evens out. Hope it helps

JackieRL55

I think when I first started it was hard because I felt like I was totally obsessive about it, but I think that over time, after you've been tracking calories for 6 months - a year, it starts to feel more like second nature and less like you're obsessing. You probably eat a lot of the same foods and eat at the same restaurants, so it becomes easier to go grocery shopping, pick things from a menu, and log it in MFP without it taking too much thought or a lot of your time.

definitely agree with this. theres alot of stigma when it comes to calorie counting but you get used to the new habits

I also agree with this. It has become second nature to me to the point that I can probably do it in my head now based on what I've learned here but I'm so used to it I just keep going.

Just like any other behavior modification it's all about your attitude and how bad you want it. Here's a little tough love coming from a place of caring and concern so please don't misinterpret it....the problem may be your attitude. If you perceive the process in a negative way....it will be negative. You already stated you have OCD, not sure if you've actually be diagnosed but if you do then you know it has nothing to do with the tracking and everything to do with your condition and THAT is what has to be managed. Maybe speaking to a health coach or a nutritionist may help a bit but at the end of the day, if you want to lose weight bad enough then tracking on MFP or anywhere else will be a piece of cake...low call cake...no frosting...or maybe it will be carrots LOL

Good luck sweety and feel free to add me if you need support. I'm active and my diary is open.

willywonka

so true, am i bit obsessive with my calorie counting and logging- yes, is it worth it, a resounding YES!!!
i Love MFP, it's my very best weapon with keeping the weight off!!!

GGDaddy

I have checked out MFP off and on for years. I'm 22 years old and finishing up college. I live at home with my family. I have an amazing boyfriend (soon to be fiance!) of 3 years.

Just break up with him.

(Sorry, force of habit around here

)

NuggetLovesEdie

I went for a slightly different approach,plan out many days in advance, weigh stuff out in advance into containers and then it is just pick and mix. Veggies, meats pre cooked or fresh, frozen fish parcels, fruit etc. I don't need to obsess because it is in correct size portions for me. The obsessive part of me gets a workout when I need to prep things again. I use a whole host of costco containers to store portions in. Over a few days it all evens out. Hope it helps

GENIUS! I love the mix and match idea.

I usually make my food ahead for the week but hadn't though about the mix and match idea before.

Iwishyouwell

I feel you. While I was glad to once upon a time learn the basics of calorie counting, I grew quickly to loathe doing it. I just hate that kind of numerical, limited relationship with food. I like the freedom to enjoy food without thinking about it in terms of numbers. That doesn't feel like a healthy, sound relationship for me.

So I stopped counting calories years ago and found other ways to maintain and lose weight. For me intermittent fasting has finally become THE answer.

Find what works. Sometimes it's not calorie counting, no matter how much you'd like it to be.

sarahfeelingood

I guess thats where im stuck is finding what works for me. Also, i like the meal prepping idea, but i dont make enough money as a part time cashier to buy my own groceries. I usually eat whatever is here at the house bout by my parents and supplement with my own purchases when i can.

DebTavares

You don't have to count calories to lose weight, but you do need to create a deficit either by exercising or eating less. My last diet was a crash diet. I ate very little and was exercising like crazy and ended up losing a lot of weight really quickly. Problem is it wasn't sustainable and did a number on my body: I was exhausted and lost a lot of hair and ended up gaining it all back. The result of all of this is diet fatigue. I'm very very tired of dieting but I also don't want to remain at my current weight so I am trying something different...

I actually don't count calories in the traditional sense but I am cognizant of the calories in various foods, nutrition and portion sizes. What I did was start by making rules for myself such as not drinking any calories. Perhaps the rule that has made the biggest difference was to time my meals 4.5 to 5 hours apart three times per day, with one fruit snack. I do not eat anything outside of these times. That is my rule and this alone enabled me to cut a bunch of calories. I also aim to have a balance of protein and carbs at each meal. There are more rules but it could take a while so I'll just leave it at those.

I was able to lose 13 pounds from the end of November until the end of January, but then my weight stalled. I have been able to maintain this 13 lb weight loss until now. I consider this a huge success because my rules have become habits and I was able to maintain my weight loss for months.

I now want to lose 30 more pounds and have created new rules for myself. It's working and I'm losing weight. One of the things I've added is exercise. I'm loving it and wish I had added it months ago. This, too, I'm making as easy as possible by doing things that I enjoy and not punishing myself with it. If I've had very little sleep I just take the day off. If it's a day off from work and I'm well rested I can really push myself.

Weight loss is as much about habits as it is about physiology. You have to make habits that work for you. Calorie counting is a very valuable tool, but I can see how it is not for everyone.

Now I want to add that I still consider this a diet even though I am not counting calories. In my opinion it's a diet as long as my body isn't able to tell me when to stop eating. I'm not like my skinny friends who have their hunger fullness cues fully intact.

Good luck and I hope you find something that works for you.

sarahfeelingood

Thank you so much for all your posts! I have read every single one!

MsSkarlet, your message really comforted me. I somewhat do that, for instance I pretty much don't snack at all unless it's an "emergency" which I define as being truly hungry and the next meal being over an hour away. I'm actually interested in hearing more of your rules. Those are the kinds of things I can do. I think that is what I was looking for in posting this, but didn't know how to say it.

SherryTeach

I've been tracking for over two years and I don't feel obsessive. I"m the happiest I've ever been. I see it as no different from paying attention to how much money I have in my checking account and making sure I don't overdraw my account. Now that most of what I eat is already saved as recipes or meals, I often log the whole day in the two minutes it takes for my morning coffee to brew. Then I just eat off the list and don't really think about it at all.

One of the aspects of "lifestyle change" that people talk about it to get the focus OFF of a life centered around food. I can log all my food but not make it the center of my life. I have other hobbies and interests to focus on, especially now that I have a strong, healthy body.