Grrrr....Hubby sabatoge
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I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
I totally agree with this post.
What I'm confused about, OP, is why did you change your eating habits in the specific way that you did...to support your husband who needed to make the same changes for medical reasons?
Yes We as a couple decided to stop the gluten-I Eat crackers and occasionally buy regular cookies-Then when My medical became a issue we went further and I stopped red meat and pork products. We are a team in marriage and since I do all the cooking easier to make it gluten free for him-then to try and create 2 meals0 -
Let me start off by saying that I have been gluten intolerant all my life. I was lucky that my pediatrician diagnosed me properly in the beginning which has saved me a ton of anguish. However, eating gluten free hasn't always been easy, and yes, I struggled with "cheating" many times growing up. Now that I am older, I am much better with not cheating, although I do occasionally have a bite of something I know has gluten in it....and of course pay the price later.
Perhaps you can ask your husband WHY he decided to cheat on the diet. Making that transition to being gluten free can be very, very hard for some people. Even I struggle with it sometimes even though I have been eating this way my entire life. So many times I have smelled pizza or fresh doughnuts and thought that it would be so good to be "normal" for just ONE day. To be able to just eat whatever I want without consequences. To just walk into a doughnut shop and eat anything I want! I read an article once about people who are (medically) gluten free suffering more from depression than those who have no gluten intolerance because you can no longer just go to a friend's house for dinner without a huge hassle, or just go to any restaurant without asking a ton of questions, etc etc. Trust me, going down the depression road due to dietary restrictions you have no control over is THE WORST!!!
Also, let me point out that you do NOT have to buy all the expensive gluten free stuff! If I had to buy all that expensive stuff I wouldn't have made it through college OR graduate school :-) Much of the "specialty" gluten free products are filled with unhealthy ingredients and lots of carbs and calories. Just eat normal, fresh food! Meats are super easy, veggies, fruits, rice, quinoa, etc etc. Yes, if you want pasta you will need to purchase it gluten-free, and bread you will either have to buy the mix and make it yourself, or buy it prepacked, but there are SO many other options out there! Example: rather than make sandwiches, make wraps....and rather than using a flour wrap, just use a giant piece of lettuce! Just have to be creative!
I wish you good luck with this whole thing, and remember, making this transition isn't easy, so maybe get down to the root of why the cheating happened, and try to be understanding :-)
Agree-He wanted to see. It was just felt like he was hiding it and we have always been Honest with each other.
Yup...sounds typical :-) I am glad you worked that part out. I am a very honest person and am very open with everyone. However, when I do cheat I not only feel bad about doing it, but I feel even worse because I hide it, and will do everything to keep that moment of weakness a secret. I still don't know exactly why that happens, but I think it is partially due to the shame of showing weakness, and the guilt that comes with doing something you KNOW you shouldn't be doing. Not to mention all the people that will try to stop you from doing it because they care :-)0 -
very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
"How you do 'n?"
I'd hit it.
The pizza, I mean.0 -
I'm confused- why is YOUR weekend shot??
and why are YOU the only one doing the work/paying for ze food???0 -
I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
I totally agree with this post.
What I'm confused about, OP, is why did you change your eating habits in the specific way that you did...to support your husband who needed to make the same changes for medical reasons?
Yes We as a couple decided to stop the gluten-I Eat crackers and occasionally buy regular cookies-Then when My medical became a issue we went further and I stopped red meat and pork products. We are a team in marriage and since I do all the cooking easier to make it gluten free for him-then to try and create 2 meals
I'm confused. You gave up red meat and pork products. I would have thought eating it in front of you would be what some people would call sabotage, not eating it when he thought you wouldn't know. He wanted pizza that you couldn't have and ate it when you most likely wouldn't have seen. I assume he was trying to satisfy his craving and avoid tempting you.
If both of you are still eating gluten, why keep up the gluten free diet? If neither of you are affected by gluten, there is no reason to give it up.0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!
yeah- I'm really confused about why the whole weekend is shot- you make a dumb choice- you suffer the consequences on your own- if she's feeling fine- go forth- be fabulous.0 -
when i was married i had a husband who was an alcoholic . one day i told him to sign an insurance policy..after he signed it i gave him a case of beer and said have fun with your short pathetic life... he quit drinking and got counseling .. said my words stung like crazy .. long story short ..you choose to tolerate what you want or dont want to tolerate0
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I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!
Oh, if he is bothered by the gluten and that is part of the issue - than this. He brought that on himself.0 -
It's pizza! Let him enjoy it if he wants to have some. Is he eating stuff like this daily? People that would get upset need to get a grip. The man wanted pizza so he got it. How is this killing your weekend? Don't eat it. People act like he is heading up a terrorist attack behind her back or something. It's just food people. Nobody and I mean nobody makes a lifestyle change and never enjoys some food they don't get to eat often. Get over it.0
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My dad was diagnosed as a celiac when I was young... every time he ate anything with gluten in it, he'd get severe diarrhea, and it would last a couple days. It was very painful for him.
When they finally diagnosed him, our whole house basically switched to a celiac diet... but back then there wasn't much out there in terms of stuff that was gluten free... so it meant no more: bread, pancakes, pizza, pastry, cookies... SO MUCH was removed from his diet.
We were all miserable, but we adapted because it made him so sick, and because my mom didn't have the energy to prepare separate meals and segregate all possible contaminants. He was working 12-18hr days (sometimes) doing construction, and she was managing the kids. (And by sick... if we go to a restaurant, and they put a bun on his plate and then remove it, he is in the bathroom all night if there were crumbs left behind he didn't catch)
My dad grieved the loss of all the foods he loved. A lot. We all did. My mom, sis and I would go out for a treat from time to time, when he wasn't home... so we were ok, but he struggled with it.
*******
Depending on OPs hubby's level of intolerance, it may be way easier for her to assimilate to his diet.
My dad was very disciplined, RARELY (if ever) did he knowingly diverge from his diet. I am not so strict - I have allergies to tomatoes and some dairy... and there are times I will risk it to have the food I love, because I enjoy it more than I hate the resulting discomfort.
OP - I cannot imagine life without pizza. Maybe cut him a bit of slack because he may be struggling with the emotional disconnection from the food. And thank you for doing all that you do for him to care for him.
Good news... thankfully, your spouse doesn't have to either (now that many places sell gluten free dough, flour substitutes). My dad is finally finding places that will serve him without making him sick thanks to the recent gluten free diet craze.
update: my dad actually cried the first time he had a slice of apple pie (after having gone fifteen years without it)0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!
Yeah, this. He's an adult and can make his own life choices, and part of that is dealing with the consequences.
He may be finding it hard to transition to a gluten free diet and if that's the case I sympathise, but he'll learn pretty sharp surely if every time he sneaks pizza it makes him sick as a dog.0 -
maybe he has a densability?I'm confused- why is YOUR weekend shot??
and why are YOU the only one doing the work/paying for ze food???0 -
It's pizza! Let him enjoy it if he wants to have some. Is he eating stuff like this daily? People that would get upset need to get a grip. The man wanted pizza so he got it. How is this killing your weekend? Don't eat it. People act like he is heading up a terrorist attack behind her back or something. It's just food people. Nobody and I mean nobody makes a lifestyle change and never enjoys some food they don't get to eat often. Get over it.
Should I tell him to get over it when I refuse to care for him when The celiacs causes more problems. I work as a healthcare provider-I know what will happen down the road. So if he chooses to eat so be it but angry yes . I married to have a partner to enjoy life with. And do not feel like I need to nurse him if he chooses to undo what we have tried to fix. Simple. Love Him but cant make him care.0 -
I'm confused- why is YOUR weekend shot??
and why are YOU the only one doing the work/paying for ze food???
I am the bread winner He just started to work-And I was upset with the hiding. I am realizing he just needed to try and I would rather have my partner to have fun. But I will go by myself.. Just not as much fun without my hubby to share0 -
My dad was diagnosed as a celiac when I was young... every time he ate anything with gluten in it, he'd get severe diarrhea, and it would last a couple days. It was very painful for him.
When they finally diagnosed him, our whole house basically switched to a celiac diet... but back then there wasn't much out there in terms of stuff that was gluten free... so it meant no more: bread, pancakes, pizza, pastry, cookies... SO MUCH was removed from his diet.
We were all miserable, but we adapted because it made him so sick, and because my mom didn't have the energy to prepare separate meals and segregate all possible contaminants. He was working 12-18hr days (sometimes) doing construction, and she was managing the kids. (And by sick... if we go to a restaurant, and they put a bun on his plate and then remove it, he is in the bathroom all night if there were crumbs left behind he didn't catch)
My dad grieved the loss of all the foods he loved. A lot. We all did. My mom, sis and I would go out for a treat from time to time, when he wasn't home... so we were ok, but he struggled with it.
*******
Depending on OPs hubby's level of intolerance, it may be way easier for her to assimilate to his diet.
My dad was very disciplined, RARELY (if ever) did he knowingly diverge from his diet. I am not so strict - I have allergies to tomatoes and some dairy... and there are times I will risk it to have the food I love, because I enjoy it more than I hate the resulting discomfort.
OP - I cannot imagine life without pizza. Maybe cut him a bit of slack because he may be struggling with the emotional disconnection from the food. And thank you for doing all that you do for him to care for him.
Good news... thankfully, your spouse doesn't have to either (now that many places sell gluten free dough, flour substitutes). My dad is finally finding places that will serve him without making him sick thanks to the recent gluten free diet craze.
update: my dad actually cried the first time he had a slice of apple pie (after having gone fifteen years without it)
Thank you-Thats it-in a nut shell. And as a side note he hates gluten free pizza0 -
You can lead a horse to water... well, you know the rest. Sorry he was sneaking pizza. Hopefully the resulting pain will make him decide it was a bad idea. Celiacs is pretty ugly down the road if a person doesn't avoid gluten.0
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I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
That sounds like punishment enough, doesn't it? Go and enjoy without him.0 -
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Sorry I just really loved that Zach Galifianakis picture and I haven't had an opportunity to use it yet lol.
In all seriousness though... He's a grown man. You can't force him to eat a certain way. And if he has celiacs disease and HAS to eat gluten free, then let him buy and cook his own food. He needs to be responsible for his own diet.
Also, you should just focus on yours. Your weekend isn't shot because of pizza. Tomorrow is a new day. Start focusing on your dietary needs and work on your own. Either your hubby will be motivated by you or he won't be, but in the end it's his choice and it shouldn't affect your choices.0
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