Grrr! Rant!

moniduh

Does anyone else have a family like this?

My mom tries to pressure me into eating anytime there is food made at her house. Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food so I always have to politely decline. She then proceeds to get mad at me for refusing the food (big nono for my mom) and just goes on about dieting. Thing is that this really bothers me because I'm not viewing my eating habits as a diet but as a lifestyle change. Sorry I don't want to waste my workout that kicked my butt! Sorry that I don't want to be unhealthy! Grrrrr... okay I feel better lol.

tmauck4472

My mom has learned to ask if I eat certain foods. LOL She knows how hard I've worked for my weight loss and wants me to quit now but I've still got some more lbs to lose and she's good with it. I guess I'm lucky

moniduh

My mom has learned to ask if I eat certain foods. LOL She knows how hard I've worked for my weight loss and wants me to quit now but I've still got some more lbs to lose and she's good with it. I guess I'm lucky

Hmm.. maybe I should just talk to her about it then. Hopefully she'll be understanding and supportive like your mom Thanks

Alluminati

What does being Hispanic have to do with it?

There is such a thing as eating in moderation.

moniduh

I was referring to the fact that most of our home made food is leaking grease basically.

editorgrrl

What does being Hispanic have to do with it?

There is such a thing as eating in moderation.

^^^This.

You can eat anything in moderation & lose weight. Just learn proper portion control.

The Sexypants post should be required reading for all MFPers: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Breena_Bean5

Why not eat small portions? Grab a small plate or bowl and eat something, it's not gonna take everything you've worked so hard for away!! Everything is okay to eat so long as it's in moderation AND you portion correctly

riirii93_

Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food

Just because your family feeds you unhealthy, greasy food doesn't mean every hispanic family does. Don't make ignorant generalizations. Hispanic food can be extremely healthful and I've lost weight eating it almost every day of the week. Maybe you can ask her to make less greasy dishes. I'm sure you know there are plenty that are low in fat!

Red_sparkling_Titania

Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food

Just because your family feeds you unhealthy, greasy food doesn't mean every hispanic family does. Don't make ignorant generalizations. Hispanic food can be extremely healthful and I've lost weight eating it almost every day of the week.

@riirii93 I agree with you.

CharleePear

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

Michelle8683

Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food

Just because your family feeds you unhealthy, greasy food doesn't mean every hispanic family does. Don't make ignorant generalizations. Hispanic food can be extremely healthful and I've lost weight eating it almost every day of the week. Maybe you can ask her to make less greasy dishes. I'm sure you know there are plenty that are low in fat!

She was talking about HER family. You don't have to be mean. Generally hispanics eat things like burritos and cheesy stuff, I'm not saying that's the ONLY food they eat or make, but in my experience they eat that a lot.

moniduh

Woah people lol I wasn't trying to bash Hispanics in general I was just referring to my family. I have a hard time with portion control still around good food but maybe it's an acquired skill lol anyone have any suggestions on how to fill up but still stay within portion range?

moniduh

Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food

Just because your family feeds you unhealthy, greasy food doesn't mean every hispanic family does. Don't make ignorant generalizations. Hispanic food can be extremely healthful and I've lost weight eating it almost every day of the week. Maybe you can ask her to make less greasy dishes. I'm sure you know there are plenty that are low in fat!

She was talking about HER family. You don't have to be mean. Generally hispanics eat things like burritos and cheesy stuff, I'm not saying that's the ONLY food they eat or make, but in my experience they eat that a lot.

Thanks for understanding what I was actually trying to say lol.. kinda hard to phrase what I want to say with my phone and a scatter brain

editorgrrl

I have a hard time with portion control still around good food but maybe it's an acquired skill lol anyone have any suggestions on how to fill up but still stay within portion range?

I'm less hungry when I use MFP's protein & fiber goals as minimums, and ignore fat & carbs. It will take trial & error to find what works for you.

IronSmasher

Eat a butt load of vegetables.

Have a sit down talk with your mum about what you want and how important it is to you.
It will be so much more difficult if you can't get your family to support you, so be kind and understand why they might have trouble with any changes.

CharleePear

I'm less hungry when I use MFP's protein & fiber goals as minimums, and ignore fat & carbs. It will take trial & error to find what works for you.

You can change your Macros on here. In fact it sounds like you should. Customise your goals up your Protein Percentage.

gringuitica

Eat a butt load of vegetables.

This. If you want to enjoy some of your mom's cooking, just go for small portions of the dripping-grease stuff, then round out your plate with lots of low-cal but filling veggies. It depends on your family's origins, but I'm betting there are plenty of options. Where I live (Costa Rica), for example, you would do well with picadillo de chayote (squash succotash) and cabbage salad with a squirt of lemon — both very traditional, but great for filling up without overdoing it.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

Try not to make it your goal to "fill up". Maybe go over there with a clear idea of how much you can eat of what. Don't go there hoping to *fill up*. Maybe take a dish with you. I'm not saying that you should take your own food but that you could take a dish that you know someone or everyone else will enjoy, maybe it will take the focus off you. I'm sure that the whole get together is t all about you anyway. So plan what you will say and how you will feel in different scenarios. This is an alternative to talking with your mom which is essentially planning how she should think, what she should say and how she should behave. You can't change her.

I've been in your shoes. I've maintained for almost two years now, and at times I've found it easy to be in charge of what I eat. I have allowed myself to be hungry even and it's an alien feeling because I eat a lot! It gets easier with practice. Lately I have found myself blaming other circumstances for over eating.... In kind of sliding backwards a bit. Although I haven't gained much yet, I will if I keep up this lazy thinking. But I won't. I know I can control what I eat, especially because I've done it before. Success is inside us. You will have more success if you change you, rather than the people around you.

Commander_Keen

Does anyone else have a family like this?

My mom tries to pressure me into eating anytime there is food made at her house. Being that we're a Hispanic family and my mom doesn't know the first thing about nutrition it's mostly unhealthy food so I always have to politely decline. She then proceeds to get mad at me for refusing the food (big nono for my mom) and just goes on about dieting. Thing is that this really bothers me because I'm not viewing my eating habits as a diet but as a lifestyle change. Sorry I don't want to waste my workout that kicked my butt! Sorry that I don't want to be unhealthy! Grrrrr... okay I feel better lol.

Your not going to change her, so change your self.
Create a plan of when your going over there.
Plan on working out every day, twice a day.
Plan on burning 500 calories every session. That's 1000 calories burned.
Plan on drinking 2-3 gups of water for every teaspoon you eat.

ladymiseryali

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

I eat kind of similar(low carbs, but high fat and moderate protein) and my hubs and I live with my mother-in-law. However, there is a good system in place that assures I get the food I need. I clean the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom every Sat or Sun. That basically guarantees that I can go shopping with my mother-in-law and get the foods I need for my way of eating. Maybe develop some sort of bartering method with your mother?

haildodger

My parents are pushy with food in general.They know I'm counting calories now. Just last week my dad and my mother came to visit unannounced, and wanted to go to Subway. So I went with them, but I didn't eat my sub because I had already eaten lunch. They gave me grief for not eating with them. I put it in the fridge, and talked them into going to the beech for a walk. On our way there, he pulls into the gas station without saying anything and buys Ice Cream bars for us. I told him there's no way I'm eating that, and he replies with:" You are now. It's not going to go to waste." ...I didn't eat it so my dad ate two. lol

I'm strong enough to just tell that how it's going to be, and not worry about what they think. I know that It's just how they are. Always offering seconds & thirds at the dinner table, and offering snacks, desserts, or treats 30 minutes after finishing a big meal. I recall when I was a kid that my old man would not let us get up from the table until we finished absolutely everything on our plates; that they had filled themselves. I don't take it personally. They just grew up in a different time when things were tight, and families were bigger. If you had any extra then you ate it whether you wanted it or not, so as not to appear ungrateful. My dads parents had 13 kids. lol

It's a little surprising that I was thin until I hit my thirties.lol

katieai

This is a tough situation, I'm sorry. Could you maybe tell her that this sort of food gives you a stomach ache these days and you just need to avoid it? Maybe then, because she's your momma and she doesn't want you to not feel well, she will let you off the hook? I mean, if you're okay with it every now and again, go for it (small portions and all). Or is it possible you could offer to make the salad or side dish when you plan to eat meals at her place? Then you can load up on whatever it is you made and just eat a little of your moms cooking.

riirii93_

Generally hispanics eat things like burritos and cheesy stuff, I'm not saying that's the ONLY food they eat or make

LOL I'm sorry but this is extremely incorrect. I know she was talking about her family but to say that because of being hispanic the food is innately unhealthy, nope. I wasn't trying to be rude but to set the record straight. Btw burritos aren't real mexican food, that's texmex/border food and mexican families do not cover everything in cheese at home. What you see in restaurants in the us is about as accurate as chinese american restaurants representation of chinese food. Sorry if i came across as rude, I just hate misinformation about latin food. Touchy subject for me because of how bastardized the perception of it is in the us e.g. burritos and cheese covered everything http://www.buzzfeed.com/conzpreti/dishes-that-are-not-really-mexican

Moni, my suggestion is try to limit rice as the biggest thing. If you must have it just have a small portion. Use tortillas as your main carb of the meal (only 50 calories each!) and use portion control. Other than that, just try to ask her to make your favorite non-fried foods.

AyaRowan

If it's a food that you want and enjoy, just have a smaller portion of it. But don't force yourself to eat just to be polite. If it's a food you just feel mediocre about, a take it or leave it situation, then just leave it. I don't mind enchiladas, but I don't love enchiladas either. So why waste calories on something I just feel okay about?

Sometimes when you change to eating a healthy diet regularly, suddenly eating large amounts of unhealthy foods can literally make you feel sick. This is what happened to me recently after a meal with grease soaked fried onion straws. I can handle moderate amounts of grease just fine, I'm not strict with clean eating. But that meal was just grease overload, it made me feel queasy.

For normal meals I usually politely decline eating food that other people prepared. I weigh or measure everything so that I know the exact amount of calories I'm eating in my recipes. A dish someone else made, I would have to estimate and I hate using estimations on a regular basis (as I said, occasionally I don't mind, but I can't let them become a habit).

Also, you can't eat a buttload of veggies if there are no healthy veggies made for the meal. I know plenty of people whose everyday meals have nothing but starch, calorie dense foods, or greasy/oily foods. No fresh veggies, nothing light. Super sweet corn plus beans plus potato wedges in the same meal paired with fried chicken strips for example. Or burritos with taco beef and beans, Mexican fried rice, and nacho sauce with no tomato or lettuce in sight.

You could eat tiny portions of these foods to cut down on calories, yes. I don't know about you, though, but eating small portions of unhealthy food never satisfies me. I always end up hungry later. Not to mention the fact that if people take offense to not eating a meal, they'll most likely take offense if you eat small portions of it. My friend goes through this. She eats small portions of food, and everyone at the gathering is constantly telling her she needs to eat, she needs to live a little, that she's too uptight about food, essentially trying to shame her into eating (she's a perfectly healthy, fit, toned person who eats plenty for her lifestyle and activity level).

I agree with the poster who said to bring a dish. For gatherings with food in my family, the first thing I ask is "what can I bring?" so that all the effort for the meal isn't pushed onto the one whose house we're eating at. Bring a healthy dish and/or healthy dessert so that you can have something lighter in calories to eat and you can share your healthy lifestyle with others. My friend loves to make healthier dishes and desserts for others because they never believe it's a healthy dish. So many people just assume healthy food is bland or tasteless, prove them wrong!

You could also just volunteer to help cook the meal. Especially as mothers get older, they usually appreciate help for gatherings. Just help cook and oversee the meal a bit, if you're in charge of a couple dishes you may be able to lighten up the oil etc a bit.

Sharing your reasons for changing to a healthier lifestyle would also be a good idea if you've never talked about them with her before. That it's not just about weight, it's not just about numbers on a scale or clothing sizes, that you want to feel better and be healthier so that you can enjoy life longer. I worry about my dad's health all the time, as he is overweight and feels older than he should because of it. He spent time in the hospital for almost a week recently because of pneumonia, and if his eating habits were healthier and more nutritious maybe his natural immunity and health would be better too. I've been trying to teach him about nutrition, and most of it goes over his head. But at least he's more aware of what he's eating. He's started to look at labels, even, and he knows how many calories he's supposed to aim for in a day. And that the choco pie he bought uses up the same calories as some full meals, a full third of his allotment for the day.

My posts are always way too long...sorry about that.

CharleePear

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

I eat kind of similar(low carbs, but high fat and moderate protein) and my hubs and I live with my mother-in-law. However, there is a good system in place that assures I get the food I need. I clean the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom every Sat or Sun. That basically guarantees that I can go shopping with my mother-in-law and get the foods I need for my way of eating. Maybe develop some sort of bartering method with your mother?

Yeah I have to a degree but unfortunately due to my parents being a little nuts tbh it can only go so far. Truth be told, I can just hope to maintain while I am here. I pay board, they expect me to clean etc as well. In NZ I do get an income, just a small one, unfortunately me paying doesn't mean I get a choice much apparently. But if I don't pay I have no where to live. So yeah, just eating the best I can. So far not too bad. Will move out as soon as I can.

ladymiseryali

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

I eat kind of similar(low carbs, but high fat and moderate protein) and my hubs and I live with my mother-in-law. However, there is a good system in place that assures I get the food I need. I clean the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom every Sat or Sun. That basically guarantees that I can go shopping with my mother-in-law and get the foods I need for my way of eating. Maybe develop some sort of bartering method with your mother?

Yeah I have to a degree but unfortunately due to my parents being a little nuts tbh it can only go so far. Truth be told, I can just hope to maintain while I am here. I pay board, they expect me to clean etc as well. In NZ I do get an income, just a small one, unfortunately me paying doesn't mean I get a choice much apparently. But if I don't pay I have no where to live. So yeah, just eating the best I can. So far not too bad. Will move out as soon as I can.

That sucks, but hopefully you can find work, save up and get a place where the food and everything is more controlled. Good luck!