how did u deal with breakup?

astarth
astarth Posts: 15 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hey everyone,

just going through a really rough patch in personal life and I'd like to hear how you got over nasty situations with ex's..

Long story short: dated for 8 months, too a 3month break, got back together in June, we slept together, the next day he's in a relationship with someone else saying how great he is how honored he is to have her in his life, that she has his word and bond and she's amazing...yari yari...he met her in June.

Thanks :)

Replies

  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Keep super busy, spend time with friends and family, and be patient. Only time will heal.
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    but how much time!!! it was very hard core and eating right and working out (a little bit) is good. when i stop for a minute to think i'm infuriated! :)
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    I agree with keeping busy. I always used to go on dates as soon as possible because it kept me preoccupied and reassured me mentally that there are other guys out there. Plus, I always noticed something better about the other guys that my ex didn't have and it helped me to get over him. I am 29 and have been married for 5 years, but that's what I used to do. Worked pretty well.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    but how much time!!! it was very hard core and eating right and working out (a little bit) is good. when i stop for a minute to think i'm infuriated! :)

    There is your sign right there. When you say you stop to think about it, the word you use is "infuriated". Not "crushed", or "heartbroken", or "miserable", but angry. This proves you don't care as much about being with him as you do that he made a fool of you and embarrassed you.

    Go out with friends. Dance. Drink a little. Meet some new people and stay busy to occupy your thoughts. It might always sting that he played you, but hey, that's life. After a few weeks or a month or two you'll stop obsessing over it and you won't care so much. In the meantime surround yourself with people who care about you.
  • Partylikelizkeeler
    Partylikelizkeeler Posts: 43 Member
    It takes time, just keep yourself occupied.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    but how much time!!! it was very hard core and eating right and working out (a little bit) is good. when i stop for a minute to think i'm infuriated! :)

    I guess it would depend on how long you were together and how much you shared. It also depends on how it ended. I was with a guy for 5 years and we were going to be married. But by year 5 we had both drifted apart and it was a mutual break up. Took me about 6 months to be over him, probably because I had already started separating my feelings before the relationship actually ended. Then I had a break up with a guy whom I only knew a year, and that took me quite a while to get over (more than a year).

    Long story short, it depends on a lot of factors. Best thing to do is to remove all reminders of this person to help you get over as soon as posibble. Like I said, it takes time.
  • 7Adrian
    7Adrian Posts: 23
    Loneliness, boredom, heartbreak, depression all seem to be situations where we may comfort ourselves with food (I know I have), its probably better than booze or drugs. I agree with staying occupied and in company if you can.

    My plan on here is to get as many friends I can who can nudge me back on track if I lapse (and hopefully I can help others as well).

    Love, peace and good luck

    Adi
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    Thank you!
    Friends dancing and patience work pretty well so far :) and no contact --he's happy w/ his new girl and that's OK..
    Now, need to get back to eating right!
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  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    thanks snoooopy! although i know i shouldn't be angry (lol), that's what I'm planning to do because i'm enraged by him --and after the prank he did to me: coming back with b*** and then..in a relationship and in love with someone else THE NEXT day!!!!!

    Punching bag, kicking bag, he will be all of it :)
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  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    Focus on yourself. Every ounce of energy you've put into thinking about him, and your relationship - put it towards you.
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    yes, for sure! I don't wish to get revenge or see him again or anything, I just want to forget about him altogether and find someone awesome later on! He's a jerk and he should have never come back for a "one more time" when he was already dating that other girl! For f** sake!
    It just makes me super angry when I think of him!
    His new girl..I've seen her...o well, she's just a normal-looking girl :) and she can have him and his dishonesty, he's her problem now :)

    But i do want to focus on myself, quit smoking (which i started w/ him), lose the weight and use exercise to heal!
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  • daterminedfatburnerX
    daterminedfatburnerX Posts: 346 Member
    I got my mind off it buy exercising and dieting. Also enjoying things you can only do when your single :)
    Just think of being a better person so when they see you again you can go tell them to suck it!
  • dmoamin96
    dmoamin96 Posts: 4
    Hi I am new here and I saw your post. So I been through tough breakups, my thought on breakups specially rough ones is the following ( if you still need them ) :)

    1- Don't listen to depressing music ( do the opposite) listen to upbeat high pace motivating songs something like ( I am sexy and I know it) things like that will keep your mind off the topic

    2- You are not a victim so don't act like one. You loved someone he loved you, it did not work out forget it and move on if you put yourself in a victim mode you will have a tough time getting out of it. Obviously he is not the one for you.

    3- Keep yourself busy with YOU. Take a class, focus on workouts, work hard at your job so you can get a promotion, set goals, change your life, write a blog, write an article

    4- Don't try to remember things or places you used to do, instead change the decor at your place simple changes you don't have to purchase anything you can change the layout, move things around, or add flowers, purchase new pillow, new covers, new bed sheets very nice bright colors

    I hope this helps and remember ( Just care for yourself ) forget him the sooner the better.
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    Haha, I love your post :)

    Thanks!

    I did love him, but he never did --it was not a good relationship so like you said: the sooner the better!
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    Yup that should be the recipe determinedfat!

    Snooooooopy you crack me up! LOL, it did cross my mind to tell her that I was in his bed the night before..buuuut why sink to that level...if he is a jerk indeed with all women, she'll find out :) OR, she'll change him and make him her pup. LOL
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    When I'm in a stressful situation I tend to manifest my Anger into something positive. For example, use your anger towards him to fuel your fire for eating healthy/ working out. Think about it like, I'm going to be the best me possible no matter what! (that's just what works for me, it might not be helpful to you though) either way, just keep busy, focus on positive things and time will heal your wounds.
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    Thorsmom, that's what I want to do. Wallowing and overeating period has to end, it only feeds a vicious cycle.
    I've got to learn turning the negative into a positive
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Well go shopping, of course! :bigsmile:
  • p8liwag
    p8liwag Posts: 919 Member
    Out of sight, out of mind
  • astarth
    astarth Posts: 15 Member
    That's the spirit. Hair cut!

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