I need help and I don't know where to turn anymore.

Blueseraphchaos

Calories don't care what time it is, and i, like you, often have no desire to eat when i wake up. I eat the bulk of my calories at night, and as you can see by my ticker, it hasn't affected my weight loss at all. So eat in whatever manner you feel comfortable, as long as you are eating at a deficit, you'll lose weight if that's what you're aiming for.

As for bingeing, my best advice is to detox from the sugar, don't bring it into the house at all until you know for sure you can control yourself around it, or buy only single-serving portions. It has taken me a lot of effort, will-power, self control, and hard work to be able to bring food into the house that i have a weakness for and not overindulge or binge. And now when i do have food like that in the house, if i do get the urge to binge, i walk out the door and go for a walk or a run. Even 5 minutes of working out will take away the craving and kick in some endorphins.

And i agree with some others' comments about meditation, etc. Also, you could possibly look into things to do in the community that you're in and that might help bring you out of yourself a bit, or give you a hobby or interest to throw yourself into. Losing all interest in something that once occupied a large part of your life (i am assuming) sounds like yoa are depressed. If medication isn't an option, meditation is a good one. Good luck with everything!

ddrhellbunny

Thank you everyone so far for your input, it really warms my heart and i appreciate everything more than you could ever know. I will try to implement some suggestions here and I feel like I know what I have to do, I just can't lose my motivation and that motivation must only stem from me, myself, and I, I will try my best,

Oh, sweetie, you sound like you're incredibly stressed out. It also sounds like you could be suffering from depression. (I'm not trying to internet diagnose you at all, so I really hope you're not offended. I've struggled with recurring depression my whole life, and some of the things you're saying sound like I do when my depression's active, is all). Just some thoughts...

Moving has been identified as one of the most intense stressors we go through. It's up there with divorce, death of a loved one, things like that. Don't downplay how stressful moving to a new place can be -- it can knock you for a loop, and it takes time to work through that.

How recently were you restricting food? It can be common for people who used to restrict to start to binge. I just peeked at your diary, but it does look like you're actually bingeing and not just overeating, so advice like "learn moderation" probably isn't going to be helpful.

If you're intensely stressed, bingeing and maybe depressed, you need to find some outside help. Even if you can get through it yourself, you shouldn't have to. You deserve to have all the help you can get and to take advantage of any resource that has a chance of helping you. Try everything and everyone until you find what helps you.

You know, I have had bouts of depression all of my life... I chalked most episodes up to just being a hormonally challenged female, but it comes in cycles. I can be happy go lucky care free for 3 months straight and then black and gloomy for another 3 months, it can even span a whole year of just wallowing in depression. I most likely am depressed but I guess just to ashamed to admit or do anything about. I usually can turn myself around eventually so I rarely saw the reason to seek any help.

I also know moving really is a big deal because well, let's just say when I first moved out I put on an extra 30 lbs because I stress ate. I had no idea that I did back then because I truly had no idea about anything regarding nutrition. Hell, I didn't even know what a calorie really was until 3 years ago. *shame* So I guess binging has always been my habit because it's the only thing I've relied on, but back then it didn't really matter because my eyes were not open to what I was actually doing to myself. Now that I am fully informed it is such a BIG shock to me the damage I can and have done to myself. ughh, ignorance is bliss as they say.

I guess what it all boils down to is that I need to learn how to cope with things differently. Yes, I love food, yes I enjoy cooking but I should go overboard about it. I shouldn't let stupid things get the better of me... they never used to much in the past. I do try to take long walks if I am feeling really stressed out ( hell I walked up a mountain for 5 miles 2 days ago) so that is usually my go to, or I play ddr. If I didn't have ddr I really don't know what I'd do. Nothing better than stomping on some arrows to get out frustration and have a really good cardio day and burn a ton of calories.

Thanks again everyone, I really feel like I am in a better place today because of all your comments. Appreciate you all very much :drinker: :flowerforyou:

ItIsNotAboutU

Oh, your honesty is admirable. I don't even know what to say, but I guess just a ((((hug)))). I can relate.

ukaryote

maybe I am stress eating, maybe I am bored? or upset? I don't know, it's probably A.) all of the above. It really didn't help that I've been having vivid nightmares about my boyfriend cheating on me, or losing everything I own, or watching my family die all month.brokenheart It's just been awful and exhausting. Plus being in a new city has really been getting to me. I don't have anyone here, except for my boyfriend.

This^

anxiety, depression, stress gets 'em every time. So many times on here I have read of a negative life experience followed by a return to over eating. You have a constant barrage of negative experiences!

You can't talk to your boyfriend - agreed. You can't talk to your doctor - your Dad is not YOUR doctor even if he is A doctor. My daughter is also very uncomfortable talking to me about her being overweight and how to manage it. We just know each other's triggers too well.

Have you considered a therapist? If you think the problem might be in your perceptions and behaviors, a physician is usually not going to address it. That is the job of a therapist. Some people are weirded out by the idea of a therapist. if so, you can kind of sneak up on the idea by interviewing several. Ask for 10 minutes of their time to see if you and they can get along. That is not committing to a *real* session, and you get an idea of how it could help. I interviewed a few before going back and choosing one.

AliceDark

Have you seen this site?

http://www.youreatopia.com/

It's geared toward people recovering from restrictive EDs (I'm not at all saying that you have/had one), but a lot of the information is really interesting and can be helpful for people who have experiences with unhealthy or disordered eating patterns.

aruiz1286

I haven't gone through every response so please forgive me if this has been said. I'm a recovering bulimic so I completely understand the feeling of powerlessness over binge urges. Overeaters anonymous actually helped me as well as not keeping trigger foods in the house. Stay as far from the kitchen as possible when feeling like that - take a walk. Breathe. Paint your nails so you can't touch anything for a while. It's important to remind yourself that the feeling is temporary and if you can just feel it without acting on it, it will end.

I know it's all easier said than done. I struggle daily with the same issues - just know you aren't alone.