Why Skinny-Fat people are generally ignored???

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  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    in to read all the reactions to the subject...
    So I just want thinner thights and no muffin top when wearing skinny pants...

    Nobody wants to hear this.
    But if you wear the right size, you don't have muffin tops.

    Not necessarily true. I have this weird pair of pants that are so baggy they are falling off my hips, yet they somehow manage to give me a muffintop, too.

    I think they might be from another dimension. Not the clothing line, I mean really from another dimension.

    Sorry had to chime in- to the one in baggy pants- she said the RIGHT size. Obviously, your pants the WRONG size. sheesh.
  • mckelvyb
    mckelvyb Posts: 9 Member
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    Not all of us skinny fat people can lift heavy. I need a shoulder replacement that’s scheduled for 10/2 and I have degenerative disc between L4 & L5. :-( I'm just glad biking doesn’t affect either of those two things much.

    I suggest you talk to a physical therapist for advice and recommendations on exercises that you can perform safely.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    Not all of us skinny fat people can lift heavy. I need a shoulder replacement that’s scheduled for 10/2 and I have degenerative disc between L4 & L5. :-( I'm just glad biking doesn’t affect either of those two things much.

    I suggest you talk to a physical therapist for advice and recommendations on exercises that you can perform safely.

    I do.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
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    1 thing I accepted. There will always be someone further than me in anything I do. Weight loss, lifting, life...that doesn't make my journey any less. That doesn't make me inferior. Our struggles are personal and spending our time measuring ourselves based on others is a futile pursuit. Sure, challenge yourself. Look to always improve but do so with the idea that you're unique and beautiful. That you are not a number on a scale or the size of your jeans. You are you.

    Perfect and so true! :flowerforyou:
  • syliatach
    syliatach Posts: 5
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    I feel your pain, I've had the same problem for three years. I didn't understand why I was not toned. I changed some stuff to lose body fat:
    - less cardio, more strengh training
    - shorter but more intense workouts (interval training)
    - taking a few days off the gym
    - eating more, drinking more water/tea/coffee, sleeping more, less stress
    - discovering the IIFYM concept :)
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    Just got time to re-read the original post..

    I honestly feel slightly differently than OP. I have complained in serveral occasions about how unhappy I feel about myself and I do get some heart warming posts. Yes they are saying I should accept myself and I should look beyond but I feel they do care enough to write something like this to me, a total stranger.

    If you are not happy about your body, keep doing and don't give up. It's something we all need to work on for the rest of our lives. Best of luck~ :flowerforyou:
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
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    in to read all the reactions to the subject...
    So I just want thinner thights and no muffin top when wearing skinny pants...

    Nobody wants to hear this.
    But if you wear the right size, you don't have muffin tops.

    Not necessarily true. I have this weird pair of pants that are so baggy they are falling off my hips, yet they somehow manage to give me a muffintop, too.

    I think they might be from another dimension. Not the clothing line, I mean really from another dimension.

    Sorry had to chime in- to the one in baggy pants- she said the RIGHT size. Obviously, your pants the WRONG size. sheesh.

    Except when I was heavier they weren't baggy and I still had muffin top, now they are baggy and I still have muffin top. sheesh!
  • Aniqana
    Aniqana Posts: 95
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    I don't update MFP everyday and to be honest I don't know the name of exercises I am doing also I have not much time to seat down and update. so sometimes i just add breakfast and leave it. I dont know how it works I only downloaded the app few days ago. I tried to add ''plank'' as i do the exercise few times but it wouldnt find, also when I tried add jogging it asked me how fast I run in (i have no clue) i dont have any special gadgets to check that.

    Thanks for the advises on lifting weights... but I have no clue which should I lift?? I goggled but there is so many! When I am on the gym I dont really know which to use. So far I picked weights (not sure how heavy) but I could hold them so I did squats and some different exercise ive seen on films.. whether they right for me?? No clue , i tried to watch youtube but girls are already skinny and I simply dont know what parts they work, unless is big fat title ''flat stomach exercise'' so I follow the exercises- but when I am in the gym I dont have youtube- at home I dont weights-cant afford them atm.

    I have simply no clue what weights should I lift? what Heavy lift is?? I can lift 6kilo (i tried more and massive pain for a week in my arm) on machine with rope like i was pulling down. I quite liked the machine, I can imagine after a while I could lift more than 6kilo but after that I tried to lift 25kilo (as someone told me tried heavy) i had massive pain. I have no clue on where to start, where to increse-deacrese etc. I just simply dont know! I asked lady next to me who was lifting- she was litlle bigger than me- she laughed at me and said I better go on treadmill..

    I do know abdominal crunch so I can lift 10-15kilos on that. And thats where my knowledge of lifting ends...

    My food today- I will try to figure out to ''open that'' and show but there is no exercise as I am following youtube movie where lady do intensive cardio trenning (20min) and warming up- MFP ask for each exercise and I just dont know the name of each.

    Instead of telling me ''you want a perfect body of a barbie girl'' or you need to tone up 6inches- please tell how! Send a link, tell me name of machine,,, I dont need to criticise for my choices- I do need advise.

    Ps. I have no clue what bulking is.... I dont want body of muscular person or 6pack.. I just want to lose the hip excess.
    And no i dont wear small clothes... If I wore bigger jeans they will be too big on my bum. My tight and rest down is fine is just hips. I am wearing normal size jeans or trying to find one that hide the bulks and not gonna to big on my back as then I am looking like teenagers who **** their pants..;/ also to work i need to wear smart dresses-often bodycon style is just not apealing having biger ''muffins'' on my hips than my bum!

    I want to look normal in swimsuit. I want be able seat down without holding a breath and rolls of my tummy:(
    I am not accepting the way I am and I want to lose that! Will do anything I have to.

    Thank you for the nice words from some people and advises. I knew that will be still few who will feel they need to laugh/tell off other person- so they can feel little better about themselves ...
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    Haven't read the thread yet but my first thought when I read the title was this.

    People who are morbidly obese are at severe health risk and their weight loss is vital to their long term health. Losing weight is what they should do and losing weight is what they want to do but struggle with. Therefore lots of response.

    Someone who is skinnyfat is not overweight, not particularly at risk...they just don't like the way they look. A skinnyfat person would benefit most in terms of health by gaining weight in the form of muscle yet many seem to think they need to calorie restricte to get rid of a "stomach pooch" they seem utterly fixated on. Posters say this, OP says no no....I want to lose weight not gain it and conversation ends.

    I am not saying that is how it always goes but that is how ive seen it go numerous times. If a person wants to change their aesthetic but argues against the advice they are given it'll be a short conversation.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I don't update MFP everyday and to be honest I don't know the name of exercises I am doing also I have not much time to seat down and update. so sometimes i just add breakfast and leave it. I dont know how it works I only downloaded the app few days ago. I tried to add ''plank'' as i do the exercise few times but it wouldnt find, also when I tried add jogging it asked me how fast I run in (i have no clue) i dont have any special gadgets to check that.

    Thanks for the advises on lifting weights... but I have no clue which should I lift?? I goggled but there is so many! When I am on the gym I dont really know which to use. So far I picked weights (not sure how heavy) but I could hold them so I did squats and some different exercise ive seen on films.. whether they right for me?? No clue , i tried to watch youtube but girls are already skinny and I simply dont know what parts they work, unless is big fat title ''flat stomach exercise'' so I follow the exercises- but when I am in the gym I dont have youtube- at home I dont weights-cant afford them atm.

    I have simply no clue what weights should I lift? what Heavy lift is?? I can lift 6kilo (i tried more and massive pain for a week in my arm) on machine with rope like i was pulling down. I quite liked the machine, I can imagine after a while I could lift more than 6kilo but after that I tried to lift 25kilo (as someone told me tried heavy) i had massive pain. I have no clue on where to start, where to increse-deacrese etc. I just simply dont know! I asked lady next to me who was lifting- she was litlle bigger than me- she laughed at me and said I better go on treadmill..

    I do know abdominal crunch so I can lift 10-15kilos on that. And thats where my knowledge of lifting ends...

    My food today- I will try to figure out to ''open that'' and show but there is no exercise as I am following youtube movie where lady do intensive cardio trenning (20min) and warming up- MFP ask for each exercise and I just dont know the name of each.

    Instead of telling me ''you want a perfect body of a barbie girl'' or you need to tone up 6inches- please tell how! Send a link, tell me name of machine,,, I dont need to criticise for my choices- I do need advise.

    Ps. I have no clue what bulking is.... I dont want body of muscular person or 6pack.. I just want to lose the hip excess.
    And no i dont wear small clothes... If I wore bigger jeans they will be too big on my bum. My tight and rest down is fine is just hips. I am wearing normal size jeans or trying to find one that hide the bulks and not gonna to big on my back as then I am looking like teenagers who **** their pants..;/ also to work i need to wear smart dresses-often bodycon style is just not apealing having biger ''muffins'' on my hips than my bum!

    I want to look normal in swimsuit. I want be able seat down without holding a breath and rolls of my tummy:(
    I am not accepting the way I am and I want to lose that! Will do anything I have to.

    Thank you for the nice words from some people and advises. I knew that will be still few who will feel they need to laugh/tell off other person- so they can feel little better about themselves ...

    This one has been recommended by several posters for begnners here: http://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/jason-blaha-ice-cream-fitness-5x5-novice-workout

    If you do have some money to spare, you can look into "ChaLean Extreme" home workout video by beachbody.com I have found it very useful and given me result. :)

    Right now I am following "body beast" program. Good luck~
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
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    As above?? Why if we want to lose weight and are not happy with our bodies-general we are told we look good and have to accept that! Why should I accept or be happy with arm bigger than my head and having bulks on my hips that stick out of my jeans. Why should I accept my cellulite and that my swimsuit doesn't fit properly?:(

    Why if I geneui don't feel ok with ,myself can't even say a word to be ignored by skinny people or laughed at by obese?? I know some people wish they could go as low but geez.. do I need to weight 100kilos to be heard and not ignored??
    I am tired of fact that people don't understand what I am going through.,, well skinny girl will tell'' just accept yourself'' or ''you fine''
    I dont want to be fine! I want be able to put bodycon dress to work without having bulks on my hips or put jeans on without having excess stomach hanging out!

    I realised we generally being ignored... laughed at or called ridiculous or that we have mind problem... do we really need to be depressed or have mental issues - can people accept the fact we are genuinely not happy too???

    I received few very useful advises on this forum but along with that many saying accept yourself or you are not fat, you fine or you will tone up etc.

    Yeah but I am trying to lose within 4 weeks not 6 months.. and yes I am not happy with my body, neither have eating disorders or depression! I eat to little because i don't know what to eat, i dont know how to exercise because instead of people giving me valuable advises they prefer to tell ''im fine'' (people in general -not in this forum etc) I am reading google- one site says eat this- other says don't eat that. One site say exercise this and this much -other says this is wrong!! I am confused and really dont know what to do.

    Please accept Skinny-fat people and treat them like others.. we dont need to hear-accept yourself or you fine- we not and dont want accept -we do want to have perfect body same as you!

    I think there's a bigger issue here.

    If you're not obese, but aren't super fit or the size you'd like to be either, then yes make a change. However, if you think making that change is going to suddenly make you completely happy with your body then I think you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

    Being skinny or fit or whatever term you'd like to apply here will not and cannot make you happy, period. If you aren't happy with you then it won't come. I have read a few articles about people who went through weight loss surgery because they were 400+ lbs. They thought losing the weight would greatly improve the quality of their life but it didn't. One man said he's tired and weak all the time,can't even work in his own shop like he used to be able to do. He can't enjoy what he's eating and most of the time, even if he follows the diet plan set out for him, he feels sick after eating. He has no energy to enjoy his family and his children and he wishes he would have never done it.

    I know you aren't in that situation, but the idea remains the same: you can't think being skinny is going to make you feel better or love your body more. When people say you should accept yourself they don't mean be happy at XXXlbs, they mean accept who you are as a person and then if you aren't happy with the physical appearance, make a change to it. Otherwise, you're still going to be just as unhappy, only you'll be XXlbs lighter.
  • jmv7117
    jmv7117 Posts: 891 Member
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    I don't update MFP everyday and to be honest I don't know the name of exercises I am doing also I have not much time to seat down and update. so sometimes i just add breakfast and leave it. I dont know how it works I only downloaded the app few days ago. I tried to add ''plank'' as i do the exercise few times but it wouldnt find, also when I tried add jogging it asked me how fast I run in (i have no clue) i dont have any special gadgets to check that.

    Thanks for the advises on lifting weights... but I have no clue which should I lift?? I goggled but there is so many! When I am on the gym I dont really know which to use. So far I picked weights (not sure how heavy) but I could hold them so I did squats and some different exercise ive seen on films.. whether they right for me?? No clue , i tried to watch youtube but girls are already skinny and I simply dont know what parts they work, unless is big fat title ''flat stomach exercise'' so I follow the exercises- but when I am in the gym I dont have youtube- at home I dont weights-cant afford them atm.

    I have simply no clue what weights should I lift? what Heavy lift is?? I can lift 6kilo (i tried more and massive pain for a week in my arm) on machine with rope like i was pulling down. I quite liked the machine, I can imagine after a while I could lift more than 6kilo but after that I tried to lift 25kilo (as someone told me tried heavy) i had massive pain. I have no clue on where to start, where to increse-deacrese etc. I just simply dont know! I asked lady next to me who was lifting- she was litlle bigger than me- she laughed at me and said I better go on treadmill..

    I do know abdominal crunch so I can lift 10-15kilos on that. And thats where my knowledge of lifting ends...

    My food today- I will try to figure out to ''open that'' and show but there is no exercise as I am following youtube movie where lady do intensive cardio trenning (20min) and warming up- MFP ask for each exercise and I just dont know the name of each.

    Instead of telling me ''you want a perfect body of a barbie girl'' or you need to tone up 6inches- please tell how! Send a link, tell me name of machine,,, I dont need to criticise for my choices- I do need advise.

    Ps. I have no clue what bulking is.... I dont want body of muscular person or 6pack.. I just want to lose the hip excess.
    And no i dont wear small clothes... If I wore bigger jeans they will be too big on my bum. My tight and rest down is fine is just hips. I am wearing normal size jeans or trying to find one that hide the bulks and not gonna to big on my back as then I am looking like teenagers who **** their pants..;/ also to work i need to wear smart dresses-often bodycon style is just not apealing having biger ''muffins'' on my hips than my bum!

    I want to look normal in swimsuit. I want be able seat down without holding a breath and rolls of my tummy:(
    I am not accepting the way I am and I want to lose that! Will do anything I have to.

    Thank you for the nice words from some people and advises. I knew that will be still few who will feel they need to laugh/tell off other person- so they can feel little better about themselves ...

    Look for the Tiffany Rothe workouts on YouTube. She has quite a few good ones that you help tone your abs and hips to get in better shape for swimsuits.
  • Aniqana
    Aniqana Posts: 95
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    No no, Its not that I am genuinely unhappy with myself. No.
    I am happy in ,life, I have no depression or problems. Honestly.
    My life is not perfect of course and of course I would be happier with £1m etc.;)) but noo,
    its all fine and no issues etc.

    My only issue is I want to lose that excess. I was living very unhealthy for quite a while and decided it must change.
    I start eating healthier over month ago and proper dieting and exercising 2weeks ago.
    I know is early start but I think I am finally ready to start ''living healthy;; My goal first is to loose the bulks on my arms and hips. 2inches in 4 weeks! All I need for now!
    Then to keep fit and healthy.

    Thanks for the links!! This chelean thing is it USA ? as the price is in dollars and not sure if the actually can send that stuff to UK? regardig the first link- i will go through them and check the names of exercising but link ''shrink'' there are many example of shrink on youtube- how do I know which ''shrink'' he want me to do?;) sorry for so many questions but I never used gym before ;)
  • Aniqana
    Aniqana Posts: 95
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    will do!
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    No no, Its not that I am genuinely unhappy with myself. No.
    I am happy in ,life, I have no depression or problems. Honestly.
    My life is not perfect of course and of course I would be happier with £1m etc.;)) but noo,
    its all fine and no issues etc.

    My only issue is I want to lose that excess. I was living very unhealthy for quite a while and decided it must change.
    I start eating healthier over month ago and proper dieting and exercising 2weeks ago.
    I know is early start but I think I am finally ready to start ''living healthy;; My goal first is to loose the bulks on my arms and hips. 2inches in 4 weeks! All I need for now!
    Then to keep fit and healthy.

    Thanks for the links!! This chelean thing is it USA ? as the price is in dollars and not sure if the actually can send that stuff to UK? regardig the first link- i will go through them and check the names of exercising but link ''shrink'' there are many example of shrink on youtube- how do I know which ''shrink'' he want me to do?;) sorry for so many questions but I never used gym before ;)

    you can get them at amazon, not sure amazon has UK site...I thought they did...
  • Jezebel_Barbie
    Jezebel_Barbie Posts: 198 Member
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    You know what love, I actually tried to help you and offer advice earlier. If you want to get mad because you didn't hear what you want to hear, that's not my problem.

    You have unrealistic expectations. Even if you started lifting right now there is no guarantee that you are going to lose the inches off your hips by your holiday. Hell, you may lose the inches elsewhere first, or even put a bit of water weight ON due to the change in workout.

    It's brilliant that you're eating a healthier diet and starting to workout. These are positive changes which will benefit you so much in the long run. Keep them up, take it slow and you will see the changes you want to see. Probably not by your holiday though.

    I still stand by my point that you have worrying body image issues - thinking you have the stomach of a pregnant woman when you quite clearly do not IS worrying. I don't want to see you despair and stress out over problems which have become exaggerated in your own mind when that energy could be better directed elsewhere. Be kind to yourself, you deserve that.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
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    If she had come in here and said: I'm ready to start on the road to body building. Someday I might even want to compete. But I'm a novice. How do I get started? No one would have discouraged her or suggested she'd be better off happy with herself the way she is.

    And body building, especially competitive body building, can be rigorous, can result in rather low fat percentages, and does focus on changing how one would 'naturally' look, assuming 'naturally' means how the average person in modern society looks without working at it.

    I guess it's how she approached the subject that got a few people concerned?
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
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    OP, it's hard to explain yourself so it's easy to come off batty but I know what you mean. Building muscle is the answer. You need to eat close to maintenance and work those muscles!

    if you don't have much experience order Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and No More Trouble Zones. I was "curvy" and she got me in great shape when I first started working out years ago. From there you can get more expensive things like ChaLean or use those principles in the gym. If you would prefer a book there is the Female Body Breakthrough or Making the Cut.

    Also there is a group called "Not that Heavy Girls" for ladies at or near goal weight that want to decrease body fat on this website.

    True skinny fat people have an unhealthy body fat percentage even though they are of normal weight and appear skinny. I weigh more than a lot of skinny women my height but I'm healthier :)

    Good luck
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
    Very good response and I concur.

    The problem is not with "skinny people" in general but with those who are not what you are describing - who see themselves as fat when they are skeletons. This is unhealthy but it is their choice - for those I will not give advice one way or another - because if they want to die from malnutrition, what can I say; especially if mental health is not being maintained.

    For the ops situation, getting a personal trainer (if affordable) may be the best option to help give some pointers on tightening things up or a good J. Michaels video.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    OP, it's hard to explain yourself so it's easy to come off batty but I know what you mean. Building muscle is the answer. You need to eat close to maintenance and work those muscles!

    if you don't have much experience order Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and No More Trouble Zones. I was "curvy" and she got me in great shape when I first started working out years ago. From there you can get more expensive things like ChaLean or use those principles in the gym. If you would prefer a book there is the Female Body Breakthrough or Making the Cut.

    Also there is a group called "Not that Heavy Girls" for ladies at or near goal weight that want to decrease body fat on this website.

    True skinny fat people have an unhealthy body fat percentage even though they are of normal weight and appear skinny. I weigh more than a lot of skinny women my height but I'm healthier :)

    Good luck
    And this ^^

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